Chapter 6.1 (15)

Kicking and screaming, Ashe is dragged to holding wing number seven, where she meets her companions in what the guards call a "Mage Cage". The bars are made out of jagged wood. Uh, tiles are flung across the room, and bizarre fixtures hang from the walls. Ashy begins to suspect that this jail cell was constructed by idiots.

Ashe looks at the cage specifically. Wondering if Is it just wood?

Which yes it appears to be just wood.

Gregor: Well..

Ashe looks over at Gregor.

Ashe: Do we wanna give this a shot?

Ashe notices that Gregor has made at least 40 chalk tally marks on the wall.

Gregor: Um.. give it a shot?

Ashe: [I kind of make a wrenching motion.]

Ashe: It looks like it's just wood.

Gregor: Ohh. You don't know my thing about jail.

Gregor kind of look over at Markus, shrug.

Markus is sitting down, leaned against the wall of the cell, frowning, with narrow eyes, and snapping his fingers repeatedly.

[Fingers snapping and sparks]

Markus: Mm, just gotta umm!

The occasional errand puff of smoke emerges but nothing else.

Markus: Eh!

Gregor: You didn't bring like a harmonica or anything?

Markus: A harmonica, are you ridiculous? Of course not!

Gregor: Well, if we're gonna start a prison band..

Markus: Good point.

Ashe: I- I don't think.. I don't-

Markus: I have this jug though.

Ashe glances over at the puffs of- puffs of smoke emanating from Markus's fingertips and then..

The smoke's really just from friction at this point.

Markus: I should stop.

Ashe: Uhhuh..

Ashe: [I- I touch one of the bars. Just my pointer finger. Of my left hand.]

Ashe is face with a question on her knowledge of trees that question being 'how many trees have you felt in the past?'

She answer her subconscious with 'A very large number of trees and a very large number of fake trees too.'

This internal questioning leads Ashe to the conclusion the jail cell feels just the same as both real and fake trees as either of those because fake trees on Meadshire were constructed of wood as well.

Markus slowly rises to his feet, Winces at his own raw fingertips. Kind of walk forward, placing basically an entire side of his body up against the side of this wall. Marcus presses his ear gingerly into the cell bars and listen.

Marcus doesn't necessarily hear as much as feel the bars

Magic crackling

The bars slurp away at Marcus . Marcus feels his energy being drawn into the bars. He is stuck to them.

Markus: Wuh!

Ashe: Ughhhh..

Markus: Okay, this might not be readily apparent from your vantage point,

but I can't move anymore. I am stuck to the bars.

Ashe: You're stuck to the bars. Markus: It's like somebody coated them in adhesive.

Gregor: Really?

Ashe steps forward and touches the bars with her left hand.

Gregor touches the bars with both his hands.

both maintain eye contact with Markus. Their hands touch the bars fine. They both pull them away with no issue.

Ashe glances over at Gregor.

Gregor goes back to drawing chalk tallies.

Markus put every last ounce of his inconsiderable strength into yanking myself away from the bars. The skin on his face stretches.

Ashe: So what are you...tallying?

[chalk scratches]

Ashe turns away from Markus.

Gregor: Tallying?

Ashe: Yeah, what are you tallying?

Ashe: That's what those are.

Ashe glances at the tallies

Gregor: Oh no, this is just a prison thing.

Gregor: You'll understand. Once you've spent a long..

Markus: Yeah it's uh.. it's a jail thing.

Gregor: As long in the sealed slammer as me.

Ashe: But it.. it's- it!

Gregor: I've begun drawing them already.

Ashe: A- alright.

Markus: It's one of those games that old jail hands play with themselves.

Gregor and I were talking about this earlier. He's really quite good at it.

Ashe turns to face and takes Markus's face and pushes it into the bars.

Markus: Nnnughghgh!

Markus: Mmgh..

Ashe: So um..

Gregor: Hmm.

Ashe: Now that we have a moment to ourselves I just wanted to congratulate you, Markus, on your excellent-

Thog: What was that about a moment to yourselves?

Thog arrives pushing Alexander into the cell with the rest of the party

Alexander: rude

Ashe (quietly): Oh, Thog.

Markus: Yayyyy, Thog.

Gregor: Hey Thog.

Markus: Get me off these bars.

Thog walks over and kicks the opposite side of the bars.

Nothing changes.

Markus: I don't know what you expected to happen there, Thog. You obviously have to throw the switch that turns the bars off.

Thog: I don't know what you expected me to do as there is no switch, and I am just an ordinary human being.

Markus: What fucked up glue did you put on this?

[Laughter]

Thog walks away from Markus.

[Laughter]

Markus: Rrrrr!

Marcus continues to try and remove himself from the bars

Gregor: Markus, is it possible you have glue on your face?

Markus: In times gone past it would have certainly been possible, but alas no longer.

Thog: Well, I just wanted to congratulate you folks on an absolutely flawless defense.

Ashe: Hey! That's what I was going to congratulate Markus on.

Thog: Fantastic. I had to spend the last 45 minutes specifically apologizing for your behavior in court. What with all the table climbing, the table climbing.. the table climbing and the choking the lawyer.

Ashe: And the diploma eating and the constant stepping up to the judge's booth. It- Really Markus I gotta..

Markus: There was no diploma eating, Ashe.

Ashe: ..congratulate you on your

Ashe: ..unconventional use of-

Markus: It was all sleight of hand.

Gregor: You guys know nothing about courtroom procedure.

Ashe: Ughhhhhh..

Thog: You'd be surprised at how often diplomas get eaten over here in Alaran. It's really a common tactic. I was surprised that Markus knew the oldest trick in the book. Regardless, I don't know what uh.. I don't know exactly what you folks expected, considering your actions, but uh.. I think you can guess the uh- the verdict. You guys aren't human. Congratulations!

Ashe: Great.

Gregor: But he- he didn't even listen to the hair thing.

Markus: Gregor I thought it was a really great point.

Thog: No. No, that's the problem.

Thog: He did listen to the hair thing. He listened very carefully to the hair thing.

Markus: Huh. I don't think he was listening correctly-

Gregor: Justice is dead.

Alexander: the fact that diploma eating is a common legal tactic amazes me beyond belief

[Laughter]

Thog: So uh yeah no.. I do believe I mentioned the exact uh- the nature of what this outcome might bring. Being sold as uh.. talent by the Alaran Empire.

Ashe: We're being sold.

Alexander: eh, I have been I worse situation

Gregor: We should fetch a high price.

Ashe: So okay-

Thog: You'd be- Yeah..

Thog: You'd actually be surprised. You guys did. I argued long and hard that you should get a position..honestly that a lot of other um.. uniquely qualified individuals wouldn't do.

Markus: So would you say that we will be sold as high class prostitutes? Could we classify ourselves as ladies of the night? Or is this more of a uh...

Ashe: I don't know if we're being sold. Markus: ..lower end situation.

Thog: Does anyone know what he's talking about?

Alexander: I mean I understand what he's saying, not why he's saying it

Ashe pushes Markus's face back into the bars.

Markus: Wughgh!

Markus's mouth is completely sealed shut.

Ashe: I don't think we're being sold as prostitutes.

Thog: You're not being sold as prostitutes. Why would you ever think that?

Ashe: I wouldn't, Thog!

Gregor: We're being sold as prostitutes?

Ashe: We're not being sold as prostitutes.

Gregor: Why did you bring it up then?

Thog: You keep throwing that word around.

Ashe: Because Markus brought it up!

[Markus shrugs.]

Ashe: I was just affirming that it was absurd.

Thog: Yeah no, totally absurd. Instead you're going to be sold as you know apprentices to a creepy paladin.

Thog: Who drinks a lot.

Ashe: Oh.

Ashe: Oh, great... so okay.

Ashe: Wow.

Gregor: So we are getting money to be apprentices?

Thog: Yeah. Sort of. Kind of.

Ashe: Wait.

Thog: We're more making the money.

Ashe: Do we receive anything or is this literally just indentured servitude, slavery, type of thing?

Thog: Oh, no, no, no, no. In this particular case. Normally, we sell our ah..

[Thog coughs.]

Thog: -talented individuals into situations where they work indefinitely, and the Alaran Empire shares the profit with the owner, you know? I mean uh- the contractor. Not the owner. Ha ha ha. Oh.

Thog: Makes it sound like slavery. Markus: Hm-hm-hm-hm. Hm-hm-hm.

Markus: HMM. Hmm. Hmp.

Thog: So you know, that's normally the situation, but um-.. in a case like this you're actually being sold as apprentices to a group of paladins who are on a holy quest. Kinda interesting if you ask me.

Gregor: So interesting!

Thog: Yeah. We- Ashe: Paladins on a holy quest, huh?

Thog: Yep.

Gregor: I love apprenticeship.

Ashe glances at Markus, expecting some sort of remark or retort, but then..

Ashe: Oh, right..

Ashe pulls his head back.

Thog kicks the wall of the mage cage again.

Ashe continues to pull.

Markus falls free.

Markus: Brru, wha-? Huh. Oh.

Thog: Yeah. So uh..

Markus: Yeah. Where were we?

Thog: So yeah-

Ashe: So the paladins?

Thog: I basically sold you guys, I mean high- nah.

Ashe: Thog! Look just don't butter it up, don't sugarcoat it. Just use the words that...

Ashe: Uhh need to be used.

Thog: No, I don't think you understand.

Thog: I get a minor commission from my boss every time I don't use the word slavery.

Ashe: Is he listening?

Thog: It's been a problem in the past.

Markus mentally makes a note of this.

Thog: So uh yeah no. I'm gonna be fully honest here. You're being sold into slavery, but it's not all..

Thog: I mean-

Gregor: Ooh.

Thog: You're going- you're going to group of paladins. You're going on a quest. If you manage to finish the quest, you'll earn your freedom.

Alexander: oh so it's indentured servitude as we at least can get out of it eventually

Thog: Sounds okay, right?

Ashe: Really?

Thog: Yeah.

Markus: So are we going to a group of like paladin paladins or you know..

Thog: Now I say the word

Thog: Paladins.

Markus: "Paladins".

Thog: Yeah. No. I'm actually shocked that you get it already. I would hesitate to call these people paladins.

Thog: We've sold multiple-

Ashe: You mentioned creepy and drunk.

Thog: Yeah, we've sold multiple slaves to this guy in the past and..Frankly they all seem happy. Quest is no closer to being completed so I don't exactly trust the guy's..talents, as a warrior of white

Gregor: That means we'll never be free.

Ashe: That does mean we'll never be free.

Thog: Or you could just, you know, work really hard and do the stupid quest for the guy. I don't know why I'm trying to cheer you guys up.

Gregor: That does sound like something I'd do.

Thog: Great, Gregor. That's great.

Gregor: I'm feeling pretty good about this.

Markus: Do you think I can take a bit of the mage cage with me as a sort of consolation gift?

Thog: I'm sure some- a little bit will break off. I have-

Markus: It really just appears to be plywood,

Markus: ..but I h-

Thog: I wouldn't touch it, Markus.

Thog: You wizardly types don't interact well with this stuff.

Marcus tries to hide the fact that he already has one of his hands stuck again.

Thog: Yeah no, honestly I'd- I'd like to free you guys, but uh that would get in the way of me making a lot of money so..

Ashe: You'd like to free us?

Thog: Yeah.

Ashe: Can I touch on that?

Thog: Yeah.

Ashe: Why would you like to free us.

Thog: You're an exploitable- you're an exploitable resource.

Ashe: Ahh... okay.

Ashe: Right.

Gregor: Everybody seems to say that about me.

Thog: Regardless, I'm gonna send the guy in soon. Have fun in here.