Just like when people die

Through sheer determination and much support from Iida, Deku managed to turn his grades around and maintained his name at the Dean's Lister.

"Congratulations, Midoriya-kun." Iida side-stepped towards him, staring at the board as well that contained the names of all admirable freshmen of this quarter.

Just like Izuku, he was also part of the list.

"Thanks, Iida-san, I couldn't have done it without you."

The navy-blue-haired boy tilted his head to the side, adjusting his glasses. "You seem distracted. What's wrong?"

Forrest green eyes continued scanning the names in silence. "Kacchan's name isn't on the list."

"That doesn't seem surprising," Iida said. "he hasn't been attending class lately after all."

"You don't understand," Midoriya cried.

"Why are you freaking out?" Iida gave him a tentative squeeze on the arm.

"He's going to blame it on me!"

"What? I don't think Bakugo-kun is that unreasonable to blame you for things that are in fact his fault--" Iida paused, adjusting his glasses. "Who am I kidding, he's Bakugo. Of course, he'll blame it on you instead of being accountable for the consequences of his actions. Look, Midoriya-kun, take a deep breath. You're not thinking straight right now..."

Iida's voice disappeared in the background. His mind was racing with all the scenarios that might occur once he gets home. He got flashbacks of Kacchan throwing punches at his face in Middle School for getting a score higher than him in Math or him throwing his belongings at a koi pond because he got the highest score in the Science test in their grade.

But this was Middle School Kacchan. Kacchan is finally a changed man. He wouldn't do such things to Deku. Kacchan loves him after all.

Does he?

When Izuku got back to their room, it no longer resembled anything like what it did before he left.

The whole room was a mess. It seemed like Kacchan brazenly threw around whatever he could find in a fit of madness. Parchments and pens were scattered all over the floor, shards of glass from the broken picture frames was smashed across the kitchen. A couple of eating utensils were bent into unrecognizable shapes. Inside, Kacchan was screaming and destroying anything he could lay his hands on.

"Kacchan!" Deku ran towards him, trapping him in a tight embrace. "Please stop."

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Of. Me."

"Please stop thrashing our room." Midoriya sobbed, his embrace becoming even tighter. "Stop hurting yourself."

"Tell me, Deku." Kacchan spat his name with such menace it sent shivers down his spine. "What did you do this time in order to get yourself on that list?"

Deku's embrace loosened and he found himself taking a few steps back. "What are you..."

Kacchan spun around, their eyes finally meeting. His scarlet irises were boiling and twitching, the last time Deku saw him rage like this was the time Kacchan caught Toga-san assaulting him. His teeth were clenched together as if he was trying his best to bite back the nasty words that will come out of his mouth but we all know he'll inevitably fail. Large hands were clenched into a tight fists, so tight Deku could see the pulsating nerves popping out of his pale skin.

Kacchan was livid, he looked like he was going to beat the fuck out of Deku and he will not hesitate.

Deku knew of all people that he won't.

But Kacchan's next set of words were more painful than the beatings he received from him years ago.

"Did you offer to suck off the teachers, just like in middle school?"

"Kacchan," Deku warned, growing increasingly erratic as well. "That's not funny."

"You know what's funny, you getting the recognition you don't deserve." Kacchan shoved him off. "Did you think you can turn into a new leaf just because you're in college now? Well, fuck you, Deku. I know all this shit is an act and how fucking pretentious you are. You 'helping people out, you getting famous friends, you getting all these people to want to fuck you. You think you're better than me, huh? Now you're flaunting this holier-than-thou attitude just because you got into some stupid ass--"

"What do you mean I don't deserve it?" Deku found himself shouting. "I've worked my ass off to be where I am now. I had Iida-san help me get back on my feet when you brought me down with you. I'm sorry I'm not like you who got everything you wanted to be handed to you on a silver fucking platter. Now, you couldn't get what you want because exerting effort is so underneath you, you're blaming it all on me even though it's entirely all your fault."

There was a long pause between them, both of them looked equally shocked at Deku's long tirade.

He paled at his outburst. "N-n-no, I'm sorry, Kacchan. I d-d-didn't mean that--"

"Oh, you finally showed your true face, huh? And now you showed the real you, I might as well tell you the truth." Kacchan sneered. "The reason why I bring you to the pub and have sex with you every night is that I want to distract you. It was working so well, too, but that asshole Iida just had to ruin everything!"

"You're lying..." He didn't even notice when it started but suddenly, tears started to trickle down Deku's cheeks.

"Why would I lie?" Kacchan scoffed. "Did you actually think I enjoy being together with you? Do you think I actually like having sex with you? Why do you think I had to be so shitfaced before I could even do you? Because I wouldn't even dare touch you while I'm sober because of how disgusting you are."

"I thought you..." Deku trailed off.

"You thought that I loved you?" Never in your wildest dreams, Deku. Why would I ever love or potentially even like a stupid worthless trash like you?"

Something inside of Izuku was breaking, the one he'd been trying to mend together since middle school, throughout their shouting feast. His whole body was shaking in both furiousness because of Kacchan and dread because of this unknown side of him that was to bubble up to its release. Kacchan's next set of words made him fall over the edge, turning the dread in him into an explosion of mysterious urges.

"You can go fucking kill yourself, faggot."

Katsuki realized the gravity of his words when it was finally out of his mouth. But it was too late, something in Midoriya's eyes just... died.

"Maybe I should." Midoriya eerily grinned.

"Deku, I--" Kacchan tried, desperately.

Izuku suddenly spun around and took his backpack that was lying down on the floor (because Kacchan threw it there), getting his wallet, ID, and other essentials as he made his way to the door.

"I'm going home for the spring break," He announced, out of nowhere. "I actually planned to stay here for a few more days before going back but this room is beyond any decent living conditions so I'll go now. I expect you to clean your mess up by the time I get back."

He paused.

"If I get back."

Scarlet eyes dilated in horror. "DEKU, WAIT, I'M--"

"Enjoy your spring break, Bakugo-san." He said, closing the door behind him.

Believe him, Kacchan tried to run after him, but it seemed like he just disappeared into thin air.

Just like when people die.