Torment inside

It has been a week and Selena was never the same. Her once radiating smile could no longer shine through the house. It was silent and brooding, careful not to make a sound that will disturb Selena. Selena still continues to lock herself in her room. Miss Luna continues to pursue Selena to eat, encourage her for a walk and even encourage her to continue attending medical school. Anything, just anything besides her hiding in their room. But to no avail, her weight continues to decrease.

It has been a week but ever since then while in the middle of the night, she screams for the pain as the nightmare continues to haunt her sleep. She would scream for her lost baby that she longed to hold but could not anymore. Her nightmares are the same.

She is in that bedroom and on that corner, there is the incubator where her baby is. She walks towards it and sees the baby boy fighting to survive. She takes the baby out of the incubator seeing that he is having a hard time breathing and carries him, "I am going to keep you safe.". The baby looks better as he snuggles on Selena's touch. Selena is smiling while rocking the baby to sleep and kissing his forehead. Then the scene of the dream changed like it always does. Everything is white and black. The baby in her arms is gone. From the distance, Selena sees a small figure. "There is my little boy.". Selena walks and walks to reach her son but she could not arrive like the last time. She always could not come close to him. The boy turns to look at her. She continues to walk but faster. The boy smiles and then said, "Goodbye, mommy. It is time for me to go. I am sorry I have to leave you but I will be by your side always. Do not forget about me, mommy, okay?". Upon hearing that, Selena panics and starts running toward the boy, "No, do not leave me.". The boy keeps getting further away while looking at her with a smile. Selena tries to catch up but just like the other nightmares, the boy disappears.

Miss Luna is beside her as Selena turns her body from side to side, empathizing with her pain. Selena wakes up from the nightmare while saying, "No, do not leave me!". Tears are flowing down from her tears. Miss Luna feels so sad for her. She embraces Selena while caressing her hair, "Sshh.". Miss Luna could only comfort her. She continues to hug Selena while rubbing her back and caressing her hair until she falls asleep. For a week that it has been like this, it became a routine. Miss Luna worries about Selena so much. She constantly thinking of a way to bring back the old her. "But how? I have already tried everything.", she thought to herself.

Everyone feels the fragile thread of the family, for the loss of the baby, as well as the relationship of the couple. Magnus, hearing her agony could only stand outside the bedroom door every night. He would hear her loud sobbing and his grandmother's voice continue to comfort her with her words. His heart aches, he feels useless. Because of this, each night he wants to go in there and comfort his wife but he would always stop himself from doing anything. He would tremble to reach for the door handle, but in the end, would choose to stand still and then would walk away. He could not bear to see the pain that he caused Selena. He was a coward, he could only mourn for the death that prevailed in their house.

A few minutes later, a maid carrying the tray of food for Selena, stopped to open the door of the bedroom. Magnus lowly utters. "I'll bring it in. You can go now." The maid is surprised. Almost hesitant, the maid gives the tray to Magnus. He tremblingly reaches for the doorknob until he musters the courage to slowly open the door. The door creaks as Magnus made his way in. Selena is still in the arms of Miss Luna, already fallen asleep.

Seeing that his wife is asleep, he slowly walks his way towards his grandmother and places the tray next to the bedside table. He looks at Miss Luna and asks, "How is she?". Miss Luna looks at her grandson with a stern face and confronts him, "I know you are always outside of the door. So I am guessing you know the answer to your question.". Magnus' face is filled with sadness. Miss Luna sighs, "I am sorry. I am sorry, I can't help to talk to you this way. I am still mad at you.".

"I understand, Nana. No need to apologize. I am still angry at myself too. This is all my fault.", he replies while bowing slightly. Miss Luna looks at her grandson. Magnus' hair is a mess and a little longer, his jaw is unshaved, and he seems to have lost weight. Miss Luna feels pity toward her grandson. She admits that she has given all her attention to Selena but she never thought that Magnus would be miserable as Selena is. "It never crossed my mind that my grandson would also mourn. I thought he would soak himself at work but every night, she knows that it was Magnus that would stand outside the bedroom door. She suddenly asks him, "Have you eaten dinner yet?". Magnus looks at his grandmother and shakes his head.

Miss Luna slowly moves Selena's head into the pillow and gets out of bed. She then places the blanket on her body until her neck. She looks at Magnus, "Come on, let us go to the kitchen. I will cook your favorite". Miss Luna goes to the door and out of the bedroom. Magnus has no time to ask since his grandmother immediately goes out. He follows and closes the door quietly. As he arrives at the kitchen, his grandmother is already starting. Magnus sits on the table and waits as he smells the aromatic smell of the dish being cooked. After 30 minutes, Miss Luna puts the place mat on the table and then the plates and utensils. She gets the food out of the pan and puts it on a white serving plate. She serves it on the table two bowls of rice.

Magnus and Miss Luna start eating. None of them would start a conversation and both are focusing on eating. Miss Luna finishes first. As she drinks her wine, she stares at her grandson still eating. "How was the food?". Magnus looks at her and replies, "It is delicious. Thank you, Nana.". He continues to eat and another moment of silence arises. Then Miss Luna thought of something and asks Magnus, "Aren't you going to ask about Selena's condition?". Just then Magnus has finished eating.

Magnus looks at her grandmother, "I do not need to because I know and I already have a solution. I contacted two of my friends who are a psychiatrist. They agreed to meet Selena and evaluate her.". Miss Luna's eyebrows meet and then replies immediately, "She is not crazy, Magnus. She is just having a hard time accepting the fact."

"I know, Nana. I know that but it is the only way to help her.", Magnus responds sadly. Miss Luna sighs and shakes her head, "No. You cannot make her see a psychiatrist. It would torture her. She is a mother who is mourning the death of her baby. Science is nothing to do with what she needs to heal, Magnus. She has been having nightmares. I tried to distract her but nothing works.".

Magnus sighs and asks, "So what do you suggest we do, Nana?". Miss Luna looks at her grandson straight in the eyes and speaks with a serious voice, "Bring her back to the place where she is born.". At first, Magnus could not understand what his grandmother meant but he eventually gets it. "No. I will not be bringing her back to that place and see her good-for-nothing parents.".

"We are letting her parents come near her. I am just saying that Selena needs to be a place where her dreams start, where her life starts. In that way, she would see herself again.", Miss Luna says to convince Magnus. Magnus did not respond, still hesitant. Miss Luna continues to speak, "She is not herself anymore, Magnus. She has lost the essence of living her life. I was thinking that if she goes back to the place where her life began, she will remember and return to her original state.". Her grandson still did not reply.

Miss Luna got annoyed and says, "She has nightmares, Magnus. The same nightmare every night, same torment. She is having nightmares over and over again. I cannot watch her suffer anymore. We have to do something right now. And your friends cannot help her. I know Selena will not cooperate. She does not share her pain with strangers, Magnus.". Miss Luna then stands up and takes her plate to the sink. "I have to go back upstairs to watch Selena. Clean up before you go, alright? And take a rest.". Magnus nods. Before Miss Luna completely goes out of the kitchen, she said something to her grandson. "Magnus, do not think of what Selena might need based on your perspective. You need to think about her, and her alone. Think about it.". Then Miss Luna leaves the kitchen while Magnus is speechless.

The next morning, Miss Luna comes down the stairs and meets Magnus by the door. "Going to work this early? Your eyes are puffy. Did you not get enough sleep?", she asks immediately. Magnus looks at his grandmother, "I have to, Nana. I already made too many delays with clients. I have to meet them now.". He is about to come out of the door when Miss Luna stops him with a question, "Did you already make a decision?".

Magnus falls silent for a moment and then replies, "Not yet. Give me time, Nana. I will finish all the necessary work and paperwork, and then we will talk about it again.". Miss Luna nods and Magnus continues his way out of the mansion and goes into his car. Miss Luna could only watch the car further away. She then goes to the kitchen and prepares Selena's favorite breakfast - blueberry pancakes and pure orange juice. After preparing it, she places and arranges it to the small food table. She lifts it and carries it upstairs. She opens the bedroom door using her feet. Miss Luna sees that Selena is already awake and is sitting on the bed, staring at the wall.

Miss Luna feels sad seeing Selena like that but brushed the feeling off. She smiles while holding the small food table and then happily says, "Good morning, dear. I hope you have this morning because I made your favorite - blueberry pancakes and oranges juice.". Selena looks at the food and then stares at the wall but mutters, "I'm not hungry.". Miss Luna insists, "Selena, dear, you have to eat. It has been days since the last time you ate properly.". She cuts a slice on the pancakes, pierces it with a fork, and then moves it towards Selena's face. Selena turns her head to the right to avoid the food but Miss Luna moves her hand to the right close to her face. Then Selena turns to the left, "I am not hungry.". Miss Luna did not listen, "Come on, just one bite.", and then moves the fork closer to her face.

Selena lost her patient and shoves the pancake, "I SAID I'M NOT HUNGRY!.". As she shoves the fork, she also has shoved the food table making it fall to the floor. The pancakes are scattered and the orange juice is spilled.". Miss Luna is shocked by what happened and looks at Selena's eyes.