Post Nut Clarity

"What was that about?" Eltariel groaned as we finally rested from our lusty exploits.

I looked up at the dope ceiling of gold, silver, and bronze painted in many colors using crushed gemstones. I pressed my mouth tightly together as I attempted to reason through my existential crisis. Honestly thought I was above this shit.

"I…" I hesitated, I never hesitate, "I became a better person."

"Khmkhm!" Eltariel snorted, "Hahahaha! Did you fuck the evil all out of you?"

I gave the smiling She-Elf the side eye, "You conflate better with good. Stop that. A better person is someone who can confront, accept, manage, and overcome their own faults, shortcomings, and problems. For most of my existence, I ignored every possible thing that could bother me. I pursued my desires constantly, cause as long as I kept charging forward towards my next high I'd never look back and around and get caught by all the fucked up shit happening. I was never losing my mind because I never took the time to find it in the first place. Everything was about constant distraction. And if I ever faltered I just had to look at Jack and how she just let it all roll off her back and I could keep going."

I saw jealousy flit across Eltariel's face and it always felt good to see those small slips of genuine emotion, almost as good as the round ass cheek I squeezed in my hand, "We got it together, baby."

"You only ever talk about your time before Arda like it was just the greatest adventure of all time." Eltariel frowned, "Always so animated about Tuchanka, and Tatooine, and Sera. Like you would run right back if you could."

"I'll figure out how to take you there someday. The kids too." then I chuckled, "They could use a good hard look at entire planets that suck almost as much as the Plains of Gorgoroth. I'll just have to figure out how to do it sans the interdimensional cannibal assimilation. It's a neat way to get a nifty power up, but ruinous on the mind, and the last thing we need is to start chucking stones at the glass houses of our children's sanity."

"The kids are fine." Eltariel growled, that Momma Bear stuff turning me on something fierce.

"Seregon ran around and found all the scattered remnants of the Slaughter Tribe and turned them into a company of the worst savages this world and many others have ever seen." I told her.

Seriously, the kid might just single handedly bring about the coming of Khorne to Arda.

"Seregon, is a git. Everyone knows that." Eltariel huffed, "Hopefully, he will grow out of it in a century or two and will come to cringe every time he thinks about what an edgy twat he was in his wild youth. Why couldn't he just be cool like Uanor. Or have hobbies like Tinnedir? Where did we go wrong with him when the others went so right?"

"I know." I sighed while I molded her ass around my fingers, "I honest to God got preachy trying to get some Jesus into that boy. Me! Actual cannibal kill all the men rape all the women Dad! What's become of the world that I am the one trying to lead someone to the righteous path. Outside of some righteous smoke that is."

"Do not talk about all the pipe weed that your jackass son grows. It's foul, and the streets stink because of it." My She-Elf complained.

"You have to give the guy credit." I smirked, "I've seen cats and dogs smarter than Kuga, but when it comes to fire and smoke the kid gets the job done like no one else... mean bass player too. And you have to admit, the Uruks and Orcs and Trolls are fifty percent less evil when they are sitting on their asses at home high out of their minds."

"You'll think it's less funny when you find your daughter clutching her chest thinking she is dying because she ate one of Dad's cookies." she snarled.

"She ate a whole cookie?" I looked at Eltariel in alarm, "Like a half bite would put her on her ass."

"It was terrible." she huffed.

"I'll bet." I agreed, "But could have been worse. I have been known to dabble in the Dark Arts and if she fucked up with the stuff I used to do back in the day you'd have walked in on a corpse. Lesson learned and no one needed to die, sounds like a win to me."

"I don't even want to think of what kinds of filth you would pollute your body with." Eltariel muttered.

"One time, I woke up from a multi week bender on the bottom of a pile of naked females of various species leaking my seed, and discovered that while I was high I became the lover of one of the most powerful politicians in the galaxy, became an agent of her government with full permit of free reign to do whatever it takes to protect the peace, married the love of my life, and had a duel to the death to fight with a young man whose father I killed. I did battle in the streets naked and I didn't even remember the guy."

"Poor kid." Eltariel chuckled.

"Nah, fuck him." I denied, "His father was a pedophile and child sex trafficker. His father deserved to die and he did too for defending him."

Eltariel and I spent a long while reminiscing like that.