Chapter-23

A/N: So I'm going to cram all of the Victory Tour into this chapter. It will most likely be one really long chapter.

Chapter 23

We'll be whisked away to District 11 first. We'll go in order, from 11 to 1, and then make it to the Capitol for our last three days. Overall, the Victory Tour will take around 50 days, as long as everything goes according to plan.

Peeta, of course, knows that 50 days on a train with me, Haymitch, and Effie will not end well. So, he's made it his own personal mission to lighten the mood any chance he gets. Which he started five minutes into the Tour.

"Peeta! Put me down!" I jokingly yell as carries me over his shoulder and runs around the different cars.

"Oh no Katniss," Peeta says as he slides the door between the dining car and the living car open with his hip. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that!"

"I said my feet hurt! I didn't say I couldn't walk Peeta," I say. I'll never admit it, but I love it when he carries me around. Although, I'd prefer if I were in his arms instead of over his shoulder, but this is fun for both of us. He knows I enjoy this as much as him too.

"Think Katniss, all of those heels… Don't you want to give your feet a break?" he says as he enters the last cart, and gently sits down on the cushioned couch. I slide down into his lap to be held.

"Don't remind me…" I say as I scowl at him. His grin widens when he sees this.

"Oh! I wonder if you'll have training with Effie again. I'll have to let her know that you haven't practiced in them like she asked you to," he says.

"You wouldn't," I say glaring at him. "If you do, you'll be sleeping in your own bed for the whole Tour."

"Seems like it'd hurt you more than me," he says. He's right, of course. He knows I'm bluffing. I can't sleep without Peeta's arms around me. He's like my own personal bodyguard for when the nightmares come. He does not let them join the party going on in my head when we're sleeping together.

"Don't be so sure, Mellark," I say as I lean back against his chest, relishing in the heat our bodies bring to one another.

We sit like this for a few minutes, until Peeta gently moves me to lay next to him, with my feet in his lap. I automatically miss the comfort of being in his arms until he starts to massage my feet. Any pain I may have felt in them earlier has disappeared. I knew Peeta had talented hands from kneading the dough at the bakery, but wow.

"Thank you," I say as I involuntarily close my eyes and let out a contempt sigh. "I didn't know how badly I needed this."

After ten minutes he moves up to my calves, and begins massaging them. I let my mind wander to other places he could massage on my body. We've been together nearly six months now, and not once has he made a move to touch me unless I tell him to. Peeta, ever the gentleman. So if I want him to touch me, I'll need to make him do so.

"Want me to do your thighs?" he asks. I nod in agreement. This feels too good to pass up. My plan can wait another ten minutes.

"Remember when you said I should become a masseuse in the arena?" I ask. He nods. "Well, I think you'd do a much better job than I would."

"Thanks," he says as we both laugh.

"Kids! Dinner's almost ready!" Effie says as she knocks on the door. Thank God she didn't walk in, because the length of the lecture she would have given us would be enough for me to try and jump off of this train moving over 100 miles per hour.

Dinner is uneventful, other than the constant bickering between Effie and Haymitch. At first, I found this annoying, but as long as it's not me Haymitch annoys, it can actually be pretty entertaining.

I fall asleep in Peeta's arms after fooling around for a little bit. It's nice to unwind from the day and be able to be engulfed in Peeta's love. It's like a safe haven for me, or a reward even. If I make it through the day, Peeta will be there waiting for me.

I wake up to Peeta blowing air in my ear. This has become his second favorite way to wake me up, besides kissing me awake. But like I said, Peeta's made it his own personal goal to lighten the mood for this Tour, and so far, it's worked well.

"Katniss, your prep team's outside. They've been waiting for like, 30 minutes, but I locked them out for you," he says. "But seriously, you have to get up. They're getting a little mad, and soon they'll be calling Effie to get us."

I groan in my mind with the thought of my prep team. "Why do I even need them, they prepped me yesterday."

"They said something about needing to touch up our faces and hair, and our legs and arms," he says.

"Our legs and arms? Are they crazy? Nobody will even see our legs and arms!" I yell.

"Come on Katniss, the faster we get this done, the quicker we can see eachother again. They said it won't take long," he says.

"Fine," I grumble, giving him a glare as I roll out of bed. "Where's my shirt Peeta?"

"Um, I don't know," he says. "I didn't really pay attention to where I threw it last night."

We look around for five minutes until I see it hanging on the television. "Seriously Peeta? Do you have to throw it across the room?"

"Oh come on, you weren't complaining last night!" he says while laughing, which I shortly join. He's right. I was not complaining last night.

My prep team is unusually quiet today. I asked them what's wrong but they wouldn't budge. "Nothing is wrong Katniss, we just have a lot of work to do!" Their answers could have fooled anyone with how excitedly they say them, but their eyes give them away. They don't look as excited as they sound.

Peeta is already in the living cart with Haymitch and Effie, sitting by the long glass window that spreads along the whole train car. I quietly sit next to him, and look at what he's looking at.

It's District 11. Instead of the thick, dense woods of District 12, this land is open and barren, with tall grass everywhere. A fence unlike ours at home towers over the District. It's not meant to keep animals out like the one in District 12. This one is meant to keep people in. It's almost 40 feet tall, with coils of barbed wire atop it. Watchtowers in the corners of the fence and in the center of each wall. Armed peacekeepers on each watchtower, making sure no citizen of District 11 can escape.

"It's like they're prisoners…" Peeta says.

There are crops everywhere, which makes sense because District 11 is agricultural, but the amount of crops here is amazing. Nobody in District 12 would starve if we had this much food. Houses are tiny, even smaller than the ones in the Seam back home. The people, all with dark skin and loose fitting clothes line the fields of crops.

"Children! Come, come, we have a schedule to uphold!" Effie's voice rings through the train car as she leads us to a door.

We are ushered into the Justice Building, which is massive compared to ours. If it weren't neglected over the years, this building would honestly be amazing. The mildew stains and mold on the walls of it show how long it's been since it was last cleaned.

Effie continues talking to us about what our speeches will say, and how well this Tour is going to go for us. She seems genuinely excited for us to give twelve speeches about the fallen tributes we killed or watched die. It makes me sick to my stomach, and I'm honestly ready to puke.

The only thing keeping me from running out of the building and hiding in the train is Peeta. The gentle circles he is rubbing on my knuckles helps me remember I'm not the only one going through this. He's here with me, and knows how hard this is too.

The large double doors that lead to the stage in front of the Justice Building open, and Effie begins gently pushing us out. "Remember children, big smiles!"

The first thing I notice is the cheering. I know it's fake, and they are being forced to cheer for us because every year in District 12, we are forced to cheer for the Victor of that year too.

Thresh and Rue are on platforms extended from the stage, so the Capitol can show their mourning as if it's a fun little game. As if they didn't just lose their children.

Thresh's platform has an older woman, with a crooked back, but a strong face. A strong, powerful looking woman stands next to her. I'm not sure who she is, but I'd guess it is his sister. She looks too young to be his mother. Neither of them are crying, trying not to give the Capitol any satisfaction.

Rue's platform almost immediately gets my eyes watering. You can see the sadness etched on each line of her family's faces. Her father looks devastated, yet strong. I can tell he's trying to hold it together for his wife and kid's sake. Her mother is crying in her father's arms, not trying to hide it at all. Rue is the oldest of her five sisters, and each looks like a tiny version of Rue. Peeta is the only reason I haven't ran yet.

The mayor introduces us to the crowd of sad and angry people. Two young girls hand Peeta and I a bouquet of flowers. I clutch the flowers in my left hand, and Peeta's hand in my right. My grip has to be painful for him, but he either doesn't notice or doesn't mind.

Peeta told me he'd do the talking for me, and I agreed instantly. There's no way I could recite a speech to Rue's family, our ally in the Games. The girl I watched take her final breath.

"Thresh and Rue were supposed to be our enemies in the Games. And while I didn't get to formally meet Thresh, I'd consider both of them to be our friends. Katniss and I met Thresh in the Training Center. The Careers attempted to recruit Thresh for their alliance, and he turned it down immediately. I respect him greatly for that," Peeta says sadly. "We met Rue in the Training Center too, but never talked. In the arena, when we saw her in the tree, I know both of our thoughts were, 'how could someone kill a sweet little girl like that?' So Katniss and I became allies with Rue. To watch her die was incredibly devastating for both of us, so I can only imagine what it was like for you. Same with Thresh. He died fighting, and Katniss and I have the utmost respect for both tributes of District 11. So, as a way to honor them both, Katniss and I would like to donate one month of our winnings, every year to both families of the fallen tributes, for the rest of our lives. In no way can this ever make up for your losses."

I'm incredibly proud of Peeta at this very moment. He didn't tell me what he had planned but it didn't matter, because I'd agree to it either way. Knowing Rue's family will be taken care of because of him makes me prouder than ever.

I lean up on my toes, and kiss him wholeheartedly. The crowd is quiet, and when I finally release Peeta's lips, the sight I see amazes me. The crowd is holding up District 12's three finger sign. It's saying goodbye to a loved one.

Peeta and I both raise our hands up to mimic their gesture, and Peeta whistles Rue's four note song to the crowd. A man walks towards the stage, and whistles it back to Peeta. Before I know what's happening, I'm being shoved into the Justice Building by three peacekeepers. The mayor smacks a plaque for Peeta and I into his chest, and we are pushed along again.

When I turn around, I see the man knocked to his knees on the stage and shot on the back of the head. The beat of my frantic heart rings in my ears. I can't hear anything. We messed up and it was only the first day. Our families are dead. Snow's going to kill them.

The peacekeepers keep pushing us even after the doors have closed to the Justice Building. Eventually, Peeta has enough because he turns around and shoves the peacekeeper back and says, "alright, we get it, we're going."

Effie is crying and Haymitch looks pissed off at Peeta. He grabs Peeta's arm, and motions for me to follow them. We're led through a winding corridor, and up a flight of old stairs.

Everything in the rooms we pass look old and amazing, but forgotten and covered with dust. It's as if this building was never used since it's been built.

Haymitch yanks our microphones from our shirts and shoves them into an old couch. He continues on our quiet walk through the Justice Building until he slides open a trapdoor and a ladder falls down from the hole in the roof. We climb up it, and end up in a room above the Justice Building, with a spherical roof. This place looks as if it hasn't seen a single person for 20 years. Dust is everywhere, old clothes draped on old dressers and beds.

"You better get to talking boy," Haymitch says angrily.

Peeta relays the whole story, from the day Snow visited us to five minutes ago.

"So Snow came to your houses uninvited to threaten you into playing by the rules, and the first thing you do when you're on Tour is disregard the rules?" Haymitch practically yells. "Do you want your families killed? Is that what you want Peeta? Because that's what you're looking at!"

"You're right, I know! But I can't look at the faces of the families, and not do something!" Peeta yells.

"I know, kid! You think I don't know? You think I don't wake up every morning and see the faces of every person I killed? Of every person I watched die? Why do you think I drink myself into oblivion?"

"I know Haymitch. Do you think he'll kill our families?" Peeta asks.

"He won't kill Sweetheart's family, that I'm certain of. She didn't do anything wrong. Hell, she didn't say a word. It's you I'm worried about," he says.

We leave shortly after, and meet Effie at the bottom of the stairs. She's leading us towards the train.

When we get on, the train started moving, which confused me greatly. We're supposed to be here for another two days, for the dinner with the mayor and the Victor's party in the District.

"Effie, why are we moving?" I ask.

"The dinner and celebration have been cancelled. The weather isn't very good for the next couple days," she replies.

Peeta and I head to the train car at the end with glass windows surrounding us. The sky is clear, and I don't see a single cloud in the sky. Basically, Snow is pissed at Peeta.

Dinner tonight was less than normal, but I don't think anyone even noticed. Nobody says a word, and I can tell Peeta's taking this the hardest. In his head, he most likely thinks he got a man killed, and his family too. I don't know what to do to help him through this, and it makes me angry at myself. Peeta would have found a way to show this isn't my fault if it happened to me.

When we lie down to go to sleep, I can feel Peeta's still awake. I look up at him, and he's staring at the ceiling. I sigh and close my eyes, incredibly guilty that I can't help him through this like he's done for me so many times.

Breakfast the next morning is still quiet, but Haymitch and Effie are talking. Peeta doesn't eat, and looks horrible. He needs some sleep, and to eat something. His eyes look vacant, like he's not even there. It's the same look he had when I stopped talking to him for the week after we got back from the arena.

Effie goes over our schedule for District 10, like it's any different from District 11. We're literally doing the same thing in each District, so it's becoming annoying that she keeps repeating herself. But it is a distraction from the thought of what will happen to Peeta's family, so I keep my mouth shut.

We'll arrive tomorrow morning, early so we can make our way to the Justice Building without being seen. I'm even more on edge now that we've messed up two days ago. Another mess up will guarantee our families will die. I can't have that happening so Peeta and I agreed to only read what was on the cards Effie hands us.

We go through the day like any other, sitting around the living area watching whatever weird Capitol programs are on, eating snacks and drinking different drinks the attendants have prepared for us.

I can still tell Peeta is not himself, especially when we lie down for bed. He just looks empty, and it's breaking my heart.

"Peeta," I say as I rub his shoulders. I know how much he loves when I do that l. Honestly, Peeta isn't hard to please at all. Any lovingly touches make him happy, probably because of his witch for a mother that did nothing but hate him. I wonder if he was even told I love you by her. He looks at me but says nothing. "Come on, tell me what is bothering you."

"I killed him," he whispers. "He'd still be alive if I would have just read those stupid cards."

"Peeta, you can't blame yourself for that. He whistled to you, he knew exactly what he was doing. Please don't feel guilty for this," I say with a kiss.

"Okay," he whispers. "Thank you."

I give him another kiss, and adjust my body so I'm lying on my back. I grab Peeta and spin him so he is facing me, and he helps me readjust his body so he's laying partly on top of me. His head on my chest, so I can hold him like he's done for me so many times. I don't know if this helps, but he doesn't complain.

"Thank you Katniss," he whispers with a kiss to my chest. In minutes, he's asleep. I smile to myself, knowing I helped him for once. I place a kiss on his hair, and lay back. After another five minutes, I fall asleep too, with Peeta wrapped in my arms.

District 10 is known for livestock, so they raise all kinds of animals. Chickens for eggs and meat, cows for beef and milk, goats for milk, and a lot of other animals.

When we arrive at the train station, the first thing I notice is the horrendous smell. It smells terrible in the station, and I'm about to ask why until I see the cars of manure being loaded.

We are ushered into the Justice Building, just like last time, waiting for Effie to push us out of here and onto the stage. Haymitch shoots us a look that says, "don't mess up again."

We are ushered on to the stage, greeted by the mayor, and recite our speeches Effie gave us. The citizens of District 10 are angry and yelling when we're done, calling us cowards and frauds. Peeta whispers in my ear, "don't listen to them."

Haymitch congratulates us on our speeches, which is his way of saying we didn't mess it up. We're ushered onto the train by Effie, and sadly, are made aware that dinner is still on for tomorrow.

The speeches were not hard to deliver considering I never came into contact with the two tributes from District 10. Not knowing them makes it a lot easier, but still very painful.

"Come on Katniss, I have a surprise for you," Peeta says as he drags me to the last car. It's getting dark outside now, maybe around seven o' clock or so. Soon, we'll be able to see the stars.

When he slides the door open, my heart skips a beat. He's laid out a blanket and a selection of my favorite foods for us to share under the stars. It's incredibly cute and cheesy at the same time, yet I love it.

"Thank you Peeta," I say with a kiss.

"Come on, you haven't even seen the best part," he replies with a laugh. "Let's eat."

We share dinner together, secluded from the rest of the train. Peeta somehow got Haymitch and Effie to leave us alone for the night. We talk about random things, and love every second of it.

"So Katniss, how are you enjoying this Tour? It's all for you, you know!" Peeta says in his best Effie accent. It's surprisingly accurate. This gets both of us laughing.

After what seems like hours, we eventually end up cuddled together on the blanket. It's weird to think about how I never thought I'd be like this. And now, I wish I could always be like this. I still haven't told Peeta, but I'm actually in love. For so many years, I wrote off love, and somehow, some way, love found me.

"Come on, let's have dessert," Peeta says as he reaches for a container of something. Whatever is inside smells amazing.

He hands me the container, and inside are four heart shaped cheese buns.

"This is so cheesy," I say laughing. "But thank you." I eat two before I glance at Peeta, who is watching me devour them like an animal. "Um, do you want one?"

"No," he says with a laugh. "Just hurry up, I'm cold." Oh right, I did kind of take the blanket from him. Whoops.

I eat the last two cheese buns, and jump on Peeta, who falls back from how sudden my weight fell on top of his. I can feel his chest rumble with laughter.

"Thank you Peeta, tonight was perfect," I tell him.

"Night isn't over for you, Miss Everdeen," he says as he kisses me. "I have to leave in thirty minutes, and five minutes after I leave, you need to go back to your room."

"What? Why do you have to leave?" I ask.

"You'll see," he says with a kiss. I snuggle deeper into him, wrapping the blanket around us tightly. I could fall asleep like this if my mind weren't overridden by thoughts of what Peeta has to do in thirty minutes.

True to his word, thirty minutes later, Peeta gets up. "In five minutes, meet me in your room."

"Okay," I say. This is going to be the longest five minutes of my life.

I decide to clean up this room and take all of the dishes to the sink. While an attendant could do it, why make their job harder because Peeta and I wanted to have a date night. It isn't fair to them.

When I finish, I go to my room, where Peeta is sitting.

"So, why did you have to leave?" I ask as I walk over to him and kiss him.

He smiles at me and grabs my hand, leading me to the bathroom. I see why he had to leave when we get inside.

Peeta has a bathtub of warm water ready for me, with a plate of snacks and candles lit along the tub. He's so helplessly romantic it almost makes me want to cry. Almost.

"If you need anything, I'll be in your room," he says. "Relax, enjoy the bath. I know we've had a couple rough days with the Tour, so use this to get rid of all the stress."

"But I'll miss you," I say as I take my socks off.

"I'll be on the other side of the door," he says.

"But then I can't talk to you," I say with a fake pout.

"Oh, I'll sit by the door then. If we talk loud enough, we can hear each other," he says.

"Peeta! Take a hint!" I yell as I throw one of my socks at him. He just looks confused.

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"I don't want you to go. So come on, hop in," I say as I take my shirt off.

"Ohhh, I get it," he says with a laugh.

I strip my pants off, leaving me in just my bra and panties. Peeta's already in just his underwear, which is a sight I welcome greatly.

"Peeta, can you get my bra? I'm having a hard time unhooking it," I say. I can get it myself, but having Peeta do it is ten times more fun. He unhooks it and helps me take it off, leaving him and me in only our underwear.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers once I turn around. I feel my cheeks get red, so I turn around and slowly slide my panties off of my legs, hoping to look sexy. I know Peeta doesn't care if I'm sexy or not, but I still like doing this for him.

His mouth is open, and he looks stunned. I've left Peeta speechless. I smile inwardly at my success.

"You're so perfect," he mumbles as he takes his underwear off.

He gets in first, so I can sit between his legs. The position is very intimate, yet perfect. I can't believe Peeta's turned me into a sap.

When he starts massaging my shoulders and neck, I accidentally let out a sigh. Peeta's hands must be made of magic or something, because this feels too good to be real.

He massages my neck and shoulders for a couple more minutes, and everytime he hits a tender spot, I let out a soft moan. As much as I'd love for his hands to move to other places, I decided that I want tonight to be a romantic night, not a sexual one. And thankfully, it seems like Peeta's decided this too.

We eventually get out of the water once it begins to get cold and wrap ourselves in each other, falling asleep peacefully.

A full day with nothing to do until dinner time is honestly perfect for Peeta and I. The speeches we've given so far have shaken us up a bit. I think Peeta's having a harder time with this than I am, to be honest.

We spend the day bothering Haymitch. Our prep teams don't need to meet with us until District 7. We meet with Cinna and Portia for our hair and outfits, but other than that, no hair removal is needed.

"Haymitch, can you and Effie keep it down in there? These walls are paper thin!" Peeta yells into the dining car, where Effie and Haymitch are eating. Saying Haymitch and Effie are together annoys him a lot, and he may have saved our lives, but he's still annoying to us most of the time.

"Boy, if you and Sweetheart don't leave us alone," Haymitch warns. "Don't act like back in District 12, you guys were quiet at all. In fact, Peeta, don't you sleep with the window open? That must've been why we could all hear you guys so clearly! Prim was mortified!"

Oh my god. Peeta does sleep with his window open, so Prim heard me and Peeta every night. I think I'm mortified, myself.

"Alright, let's get out of here," Peeta says with an awkward laugh. I follow quickly, not wanting to live in this moment any longer.

Dinner with the mayor and past Victors is uneventful. There's cameras, so Peeta and I must be ten times as lovely as we normally are. There's people, so we must talk to everyone there. It's really not that bad, but it is almost two hours of boredom for us.

Cinna dressed me in a simple dress, which matches Peeta's suit perfectly. Almost all of our outfits have matched, which is fine by me, but it makes the suspense of seeing Peeta less important. I can almost always guess what his suit will look like.

"Alright children! Big smiles, and remember, you're here to meet people just as much as you're here to eat!" Effie says loudly. She herds us off of the train and into the mayor's house.

"You look amazing," Peeta leans in and whispers.

We're here to show the districts how "in love" we are, so Peeta and I have come up with a plan. We'll most likely always be connected by our hands, so if one of us loosens our grip and then tightens it, it means we should kiss.

We kiss, hold hands, whisper things in each other's ears to make the other blush, and feed each other bites of food. Honestly, if I were looking from the outside in, I'd believe we were in love too. But maybe that is only because we really are in love.

The evening goes by according to plan. We talk, we eat, we look in love, and we leave. My favorite part of the whole night was definitely saying goodbye to everyone. Finally, we can go back to being us.

The next day, Haymitch calls us all into the living room car after lunch. "Alright kids, yesterday was perfect, but we need more. Snow is still pissed at Peeta for District 11, so you need to make District 10 count. Got it?"

We mumble agreements, and head our separate paths to get ready. Cinna shows me my dress, I put it on, he does my makeup, and we head to the Town Square for the party.

It's a simple party, yet still has a touch of Capitol on it. People eating food I'm sure they couldn't afford any other time, people wearing clothes they don't normally wear.

Peeta and I did really well in District 10. Our dances were perfect. We stared into each other's eyes, and looked more in love than ever before. When Peeta kissed me, it was as if time froze, and we were the only people in the room. It was perfect.

As we are going back to the train, leaving Haymitch and Effie at the party, a group of six peacekeepers step out of the shadows to face us. Peeta automatically pushes me behind him.

"Peeta, President Snow has a message for you," one of them says. They start walking forward, and Peeta pushes me even further back, so now it is only him and the six peacekeepers. "He wanted to tell you that you made a mistake in District 11. But it's okay! We're here to correct your mistake."

He pulls out a wooden stick with barbed wire wrapped around it and points it at Peeta. Two of the peacekeepers grab me, but only to hold me in place. They don't lay a finger on me, just force me to watch Peeta be beaten.

"Don't worry, we're not going to kill you. Snow wouldn't do that. But, we are here to teach you a lesson. This is for your donation to the families."

He starts whacking Peeta in the legs with the barbed wire until Peeta drops down to the ground, protecting his head. They decide his legs have had enough, and start kicking and stomping his body, but being careful not to touch his face or neck.

I cry as I watch. I can't step in, or I'll be beat too, but I can't watch either. Blood begins to pool around him when they stop.

"Learn your place Peeta. Snow might not kill you, but there's much worse things than death. Trust me, you're not on Snow's good side."

They walk away, disappearing into the shadows that they came from. I run over to Peeta, sobbing as I try to help him up. Thankfully, Haymitch and Effie are walking back now, and see me trying to help him.

"What the hell happened!" Haymitch yells as he goes to pick Peeta up and carry him to the train.

We get inside, and immediately call for Cinna and Portia. They dart through to the dining car, where Peeta lies on the table.

"Oh my God, Peeta!" Portia exclaims. "What happened to him?"

By now, we've taken everything but his underwear off. His chest and stomach are bruised, and his legs are bleeding from the barbed wire. Just enough to cause pain, but not enough to kill.

"Portia, can you sew him back together?" Cinna asks.

"I- I do the dresses Cinna, I've never sewn skin!" she yells.

"Come on, he needs you!" Cinna yells. I've never heard him raise his voice before. I can barely take my eyes off of Peeta, wishing he didn't have to offer money to the families. He's playing with fire right now, and Snow doesn't care who burns as long as Peeta does too.

Portia and Cinna begin sewing his legs back together, and I have to leave. I can't watch her do it. His moans and screams ring in my ears long after I've left the room.

Haymitch enters five minutes later. "They gave him that shot to fix his ribs up, he'll be walking in a couple hours. They didn't touch his face, so I'm guessing that the Tour is still on," he says.

"Fantastic," I say sarcastically.

"This is a warning. Snow is not happy, and he doesn't care who he has to hurt to make sure we all do as he says. If you want to save Prim and Gale and Posy and all of your friends, you need to stay in line," he says.

"I know Haymitch, I know," I say.

He has three days to rest before we arrive in District 9. How he'll walk, I don't know, but obviously Snow doesn't care.

District 9 went well, but our speeches were cut short because of the mobs in the streets. I honestly don't think there is a way to prevent it. Dancing with Peeta was hard because he couldn't move without being in pain. Each wince made me want to cry, knowing how much he's gone through. And somehow, he's still trying to cheer me up. "It's okay Katniss, I can barely feel it," he says with a laugh. I don't find that funny at all.

District 8 was terrible. We didn't even get to say our speeches before people were dragged on stage and shot. Everything was canceled, and we were ushered to the train.

"You need more. You saw what happened to Peeta after District 11. That will be Gale next, Sweetheart. Step it up," Haymitch says.

"What more can we do? We can't even get our speeches out!" Peeta yells back.

"You can propose," I say quietly.

"Huh?" Peeta says.

"You can propose to me. In the Capitol, to tie it all together," I say.

"Okay," Peeta says as he walks out angrily.

"What's his problem?" I ask Haymitch.

"Oh, I don't know Sweetheart, maybe the fact that he wants this to be real, and you want this to save another man," he says. "You're right, proposing will be perfect, but frankly, I don't blame him for being mad. This whole Tour, all you've talked about is saving Prim and Gale, because those are the two most important people in your life right now. Guess who Peeta's trying to save? You! Have you once thought about saving him?"

"No," I whisper. He's right, I haven't thought about saving Peeta. I've been terribly selfish.

"Exactly. This whole time, he's been worried about you, trying to save you. In the arena, when he practically begged me to let him die so you could live. Here, where everything he's done has been to draw attention away from you! Do you realize that? He's given himself all of the attention so Prim and Gale are safe," Haymitch says.

He's right, of course. Everything, starting with donating a month of our earnings, to each speech where he seems to always say something that makes him the star. Now that Haymitch has explained it, it makes perfect sense. Peeta's been slowly drawing any and all attention away from me so Snow has no other choice but to punish him. He's already saved Gale and Prim, and me, and what have I done? Asked him to give up yet another dream of his to ensure they're safe, without once considering his feelings or him in general. I feel like the world's most selfish person right now.

"I know," I say quietly.

"You could live one thousand lifetimes and still not deserve that boy," he says. "I hope he knows what he's gotten himself into…"

The rest of the Districts went alright. District 1, 2 and 4 were weird. They actually cheered for us, like the Games are fun and joyous and not bloody and cruel.

In District 4, Peeta took me on another "date." We went to the beach, and I taught Peeta how to swim. He found a pearl in a clam we found, and gave it to me as a gift. For the rest of the Tour, I kept that pearl in my pocket and rubbed it between my fingers when I felt really stressed.

The Capitol is an interesting place. People with colorful clothes, even more colorful hair, weird accessories, and even weirder body modifications. To think that if it weren't for Cinna, they might have done something like this to me sends shivers running through me.

We're led off the train in the middle of the night, without alerting anyone of our arrival. No cameras to capture us entering the Tribute Center makes it a lot easier to get there.

Everywhere I look, I see the faces of the dead tributes. Tributes I watched die, watched suffer. Tributes I killed. Tributes Peeta- Peeta didn't kill a tribute. He really didn't let the Games change him. Somehow, Peeta finds a new way to make me proud of him each day. He told me he didn't want the Games to change him, and he proved himself right among all odds.

When Peeta and I make it to my room, we each lie down and fall asleep quickly. It's been an exhausting Tour, but only a couple more days until we're home and free of this.

Dinner with the Gamemakers is not something I'm looking forward to. We're to thank the Gamemakers for allowing both of us to live, and congratulate them on how well the Games went. It's all ridiculous, but if this will help save Gale, Prim, and Peeta, then I'll do it.

Peeta does most of the talking, as if the Gamemakers are his old buddies from high school. It's almost laughable how easily he can get Peeta to like him. It's like a switch he has, where he flicks it on and his charm oozes out of him in waves.

Maybe that's how he got me to fall for him. He forgot to flip it off while I'm around. Who am I kidding, I fell in love with him because he's genuinely the best human being I've ever met.

I meet the head Gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee, and we make idle chit chat before he rambles on about a meeting he must attend, although he seems to be speaking directly to Peeta. This makes me slightly uncomfortable. He shows us his watch, which has a fading mockingjay on it. The whole ordeal confuses me.

The other Gamemakers brag to us about which contraptions they created to try and kill us, like the fire wall, the fireballs, the falling ground.

When Effie finally grabs us and takes us home, I'm relieved. I can not wait for this Tour to be over. Peeta has taken the worst of it, and yet I'm complaining. I haven't heard him complain once. In fact, all he's done is comfort me when I need it. Haymitch is right, I don't deserve him.

Today is the day of the interview with Caesar Flickerman. Peeta will be doing most of the talking yet again, but I don't mind. Cinna and Portia dress us in matching outfits once again, and we're whisked to behind the stage, where we hear Caesar talking to the crowd.

Haymitch gives a pep talk to Peeta about the proposal, which Peeta's still upset over. I don't blame him after my conversation with Haymitch. Eventually, Haymitch is called on stage for his short interview, and it's just Peeta and me.

We're called on stage by Caesar eventually, and my hand suddenly becomes sweaty. If Peeta notices, he doesn't say so.

"Please welcome the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen!"

Peeta and Caesar sit and chat, as if they'd known each other for years. They laugh and joke, involving the crowd, and thankfully, not involving me.

Eventually, Caesar flicks a screen in front of us on, showing Peeta and I kissing throughout the tour.

"My, things sure have gotten spicy on Tour, haven't they Katniss?" Caesar asks. I nod and smile.

"What can I say, it's hard to keep my hands off of him!" I say and giggle. It's overly fake, but the audience has no idea and begin cheering.

Peeta takes this as his queue to propose. He stands up, and gets on one knee in front of me. I know this is fake, and just for the cameras, but I still feel like I'm ready to cry.

"Katniss Everdeen, I've loved you since I've known what love was. I've loved you from afar for so many years, and now I finally have my chance to love you fully. Our lives have always been changing, yet loving you has always stayed the same. Loving you is like breathing. I do it without even thinking about it, but it's as if I need it to live," he says. "In the arena, I couldn't imagine living without you. I decided that dying was better than living without you in my life. I decided that jumping off the edge was better than living without you. And when you took my hand, saying that you'd rather die than be without me too, I knew it was the right choice. If it weren't for President Snow allowing us to both live, I wouldn't have this opportunity, and I will not let it go by. Katniss Everdeen, will you marry me?"

The crowd is silent, waiting for my answer. "Yes, I say as I hug him, squeeze him and let the tears flow. As much as I wanted this to be real, I know it's not, but that won't stop me from imagining it. The crowd cheering brings me back to my senses.

When we finally make it back to the train, well past ten o' clock, I strip once Peeta and I make it to his room. I slide under the covers, waiting for Peeta to do the same. He leaves his underwear on, and slides in.

I wake up with Peeta curled against me, still asleep. Even in his sleep, he still holds me protectively. God I love you, I think to myself.

I feel him tense for a brief second before looking up at me with a big, goofy grin. Oh God, did I say that out loud?

"Katniss Everdeen," he says playfully as he crawls towards me. "Did you just say that you love me?"

By now, he's practically on top of me, and I hold my breath. He leans in, almost as if he is about to kiss me, until his hands find my sides and he begins tickling me.

"Peeta!" I yell as I laugh and giggle, trying helplessly to get him to stop. Nothing works, he's too strong. I can't stop giggling, and I try to tickle him back, but I can't find anywhere he's ticklish.

Eventually, he stops and kisses me deeply. I relish in the kiss for a couple seconds before he pulls away. "I love you too," he says sweetly.

We eat our breakfast quietly. Today is the day we find out if we did enough to save our families. I drink my coffee, sweetened by Peeta, while he drinks his black. It tastes disgusting that way, but he insists he's had enough sugar for his lifetime.

My dress is black, and makes me look stunning. My curves seem to be enhanced, going from subtle to noticable. Peeta will love this.

Peeta is in a matching suit, looking perfect as always. His hair and eyes, bright as can be, always contrast the dark shades of his suits.

Effie escorts us to the event, and I'm left momentarily speechless when we enter. Ceilings the height of the fences back in District 11, with chandeliers everywhere. Crystal lights shine from above, giving the look of a starry night. Gardens line the entrance, and I'm momentarily stunned to see such beautiful flowers in a place like the Capitol.

Fireplaces seem to be in every corner, with tanks of fish that connect to a pond. It confuses me to think of a pond full of fish inside of a building, but this is the Capitol. If it makes sense, it most likely isn't here.

There is food everywhere, and I think I've found where I'll be for the next two hours.

"I want to try everything," I whisper to Peeta. I hear him chuckle besides me.

"You should pace yourself then," he says with a kiss to my temple.

"Alright, no more than one bite of each dish," I say.

We go from table to table, tasting this and having a plate of that. I make Peeta eat whatever I can't since neither of us want to waste food.

My prep team is fluttering towards us, looking drunk and wobbly. They look happy to be at such a big event though.

"Why aren't you eating?" Octavia asks, gesticulating with her hands more than she normally does, which is saying something.

"I can't eat another bite. I'm stuffed," I moan. The team laughs almost in unison, as if there is some joke Peeta and I aren't a part of.

"Here, drink this!" Flavius offers, handing me a tiny stemmed glass with a clear liquid in it. As Peeta brings it to his lips, they all start waving their hands wildly

"Not here!" shrieks Octavia.

"You have to go in there, otherwise you'll get it all over the floor!" Venia adds, pointing to the bathrooms.

I take the glass from his hands. "You mean this will make him sick?" I asks.

"Not sick, it will just make you vomit. So you can keep eating!" Octavia says.

"I've gone twice already," Venia brags. "How else would you have any fun at a feast?"

"Alright Katniss, I think it's time for a dance," Peeta says, trying to leave that awkward conversation. We begin dancing more comfortably with how much we've done recently. "There's starving families in 12 and they throw up food for fun," Peeta says angrily, but in only a whisper. "You think they're normal people, and then they do that."

As we continue to dance, Plutarch Heavensbee stands next to us and asks if I would like to dance. My immediate thought is, no, I'd rather die, but he is a Gamemaker, so I can't deny him or it'll hurt the tributes next year. I reluctantly agree.

"So Katniss, have you done some thinking?" Plutarch says.

"Thinking? Of course, I've been thinking nonstop about a couple things," I say.

"Hmm? And what would those things be?" he asks.

"Is Prim going to be okay? Or Gale?" I ask.

"No, you don't have to worry about them. They're safe, Miss Everdeen. President Snow says you've behaved well on the Tour, and he has no reason to punish you," he says.

"Okay, thank you," I say.

"I'll let you get back to your fiancée," Plutarch says. "Congratulations on the wedding!"

I leave Plutarch as fast as humanly possible, not wanting to spend any more time with a Gamemaker as possible.

I start looking for Peeta, but he's nowhere to be found. I've been searching for a couple minutes, asking people if they've seen him. It's frustrating because he normally would have been waiting for me. Oh God, what if Snow killed him! Or beat him bloody again?

After another ten minutes, I see him exit a door with two peacekeepers next to him. Oh my God, what did they do to him?

I run over to him, not caring who I bump into on the way. I need to make sure he's safe, that he's alright. That Snow didn't have his peacekeepers beat him again.

"Peeta!" I yell as I reach him. I wrap him in a hug, squeezing him tightly, not wanting to ever let go again. But he doesn't squeeze back. His arms are limp at his sides, like he's not even there.

"Peeta? What's wrong?" I ask. He just shakes his head at me and gives me a smile that looks more like a grimace. Fine, I'll drop it for now.

We head back to the dancefloor, but before we can begin dancing, trumpets blare the anthem of Panem, and President Snow makes an appearance on a balcony overlooking the party. We grasp one another's hands tightly, making sure not to lose eachother again as we listen.

"People of Panem, thank you for coming to celebrate such a splendid occasion!" Snow's voice booms. "I want to congratulate our two Victors on their amazing excellence, on surviving against all odds, and most importantly, on young love. I have been inspired, as have the people all over Panem. You're an inspiration to all, for as long as you live!"

His eyes seem to lock on mine, as he raises his glass above his head, and I see him give me the slightest nod yes. We did it! Prim really is safe, and so is Gale and Posy! I see him lock eyes on Peeta, and give him a cold glare. No. No, this can't be happening. I feel Peeta's body go rigid next to me.

We make our rounds saying goodbye, listening to each congratulations we get from random people we don't know.

Effie eventually finds us, and leads us out of the party and to a car, which will take us directly to the train. Our belongings have already been moved there. I'm thankful for Effie in this very moment, although I take it that Peeta didn't really care if it were time to leave, because he was ready to go before we ran into Effie.

Traffic is unbearable. It seems like every single person in Panem is here trying to get a picture or autograph from us. Let us go home!

When we finally reach the train, we silently make our way to Peeta's room. He looks out of it, like he's not even there.

"Peeta?" I ask. "What happened?"

"They're dead," he whispers. "They're dead. They're dead!" he yells, tears in his eyes.

"Who? Who is dead?" I ask.

"My family! They're all dead! Snow killed them!" he yelled.

I hug him and don't let go. He needs me, I'm all he has right now, and I'm not letting him go through this alone.

"Come on, we're just going to lie down," I say as I drag him to the bed, and help him remove his clothes.

I hold him as he cries, his tears soaking my shirt right above my chest, but I don't mind. He needs this, and it's the least I can give him.

"I love you Peeta," I whisper. He needs to know he still has someone with him.