Always

First of all, Merry Christmas all of my favorite readers. Thank you so much for supporting me all these years (and I recently saw new people reading my story, which kind of blew my mind, so thank you to them too). I can't thank you all enough and honestly, I just love you all. I hope you all have a great holiday time and the happiest New Year. 

Again, thank you, and for Christmas here is an extra extra-long chapter for you all (Like literally it's three times the size of my normal chapters).

***

The mirror reflects the soul of the warrior,

Only for the calm minds but not the minds that stir.

The memories of deep can be hidden so fine,

Yet can be found as the stars do not lie.

Chris thought about the riddle again and again and groaned in frustration. What was the centaur talking about? And was this really the time to speak in riddles?

Mirror . . . reflection . . . soul . . . calm minds . . . memories . . . stars . . .

Could it be Dumbledore's pensive? Dumbledore's office?

But Fergus confirmed it wasn't something inside the castle.

Mirror . . . reflection . . . soul . . . calm minds . . . memories . . . stars . . .

"What the hell am I missing?" Chris spoke out loud looking up at the sky.

"What's going on, Christina?" Oziyat said appearing in front of her. "What did that Centaur say? And what happened with Maligno? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am okay," Chris answered distractedly, as she wondered how much to tell him about the whole situation with Maligno and the riddle the Centuar just gave her. "Oziyat, can . . . ?" Before Chris could say more, she abruptly trailed off noticing something.

She wasn't exactly sure what but something was wrong. Very very wrong. She just couldn't put a finger on what it was exactly. Her eyes slowly looked around but nothing looked out of ordinary.

"Christina, what --?" Oziyat began worriedly but paused as a cloaked figure appeared before them.

"My Queen," Ryan bowed before Chris.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked immediately, the bad feeling in her gut was still there.

"Nothing is wrong with the task you have given us, my Queen," Ryan answered promptly. "We destroyed almost all the Dementors on the enemy side. A few escaped but we can find them and destroy them. I came here to ask for your permission to go after them."

"No, that is not necessary right now," Chris said feeling more restless. What was she missing? Why did the bad feeling keep growing?

"As you wish, my Queen," Ryan spoke and suddenly turned towards the castle.

Chris quickly tried to follow whatever got his attention.

"What is it?"

"It's the boy, who keeps attracting Dementors," Ryan replied turning back to Chris.

"The boy, who keeps attracting Dementors? You mean Harry?" Chris looked around but couldn't find him anywhere. 

"Yes," Ryan nodded.

"Why can't I see him?" Chris groaned out loud as the knot in her stomach intensified. And all of a sudden it occurred to her. Harry was under the invisibility cloak. "Ryan, do you know where he is exactly?"

"I can not tell you that, my Queen. I can not go close enough to him to tell you that. It would affect him --"

"No, no, I understand," Chris almost forgot what Dementors' closeness did to others, especially Harry. "Don't go after other dementors and don't harm anyone on our side. Stay close enough without affecting others."

"As you say, my Queen," Ryan said and disappeared. 

Chris looked around the castle steps and the space between the forbidden forest and the castle again. No one was visible but Chris knew Harry was there.

"Oziyat, please ask Rosaline and the guardians to take shelter as soon as the sun goes up, I don't want any vampire to be hurt by the sun. They plan to attack when you all get weak," she told Oziyat as quickly as possible. It was almost sunrise.

"Yes, I understand and that's why we are trying to break the barrier now," Oziyat said looking confused.

"I don't think you all can break it," Chris said hurriedly, keeping an eye around. "He has gotten pretty strong. But still, if you have any news tell me. I have to go right now."

Chris didn't wait for Oziyat to respond, she took off. She closed her eyes and opened them again. She was trying to sense Harry's aura, something she always saw around people. Their energy. But she never saw it without the person, which was extremely hard, yet she tried it as she had seen Rosaline doing it.

It took a while for her to figure it out but she finally sensed Harry's aura and stopped near it.

"Harry! Where are you going?" Chris asked looking around the empty space.

There was no response. No answer. As if there was no one and Chris had completely lost her mind. But she knew Harry was still there, so she pulled out her wand and waved it around murmuring the revealing spell.

Harry's Invisibility cloak fell off and he stood his back facing Chris.

"Harry? What's going on? Why didn't you show yourself when I called you?" Chris asked as Harry stood there motionless. So she pulled him back and turned him around to face her. "Harry?"

Harry's face was completely pale for some reason and he still didn't look up to meet Chris's eyes, which alarmed Chris further.

"I was just . . . I have a plan . . ." Harry said suddenly trying to sound sure but Chris knew him too much to believe him.

"What plan?" Chris asked skeptically.

"You know . . ." Harry waved his hand around holding the Invisibility cloak. "I am planning to go to Voldemort and --"

"Harry . . ." Chris interrupted him immediately catching up to what Harry was doing. "You aren't surrendering, are you?"

"No, of course not," Harry said unconvincingly as he suddenly looked up at Chris. He couldn't lie after meeting her eyes so he became quiet.

"Harry?"

"It was Snape," Harry said abruptly.

"What?" Chris blinked.

"The . . . Half-Blood Prince . . . Snape is the Half-Blood Prince and he is the one who sent you the book."

Chris stared at Harry as he spoke. Snape betrayed them multiple times, he was on Voldemort's side so why would he give Chris a book . . . unless it was cursed, but she checked it so many times for different curses and jinxes but found none. That didn't make much sense.

"Why?" Chris asked confused. "Did he do something to the book like --?"

"No," Harry answered firmly. "He didn't do it to harm you or any of us . . . He was on our side, Chris."

"But he murdered Dumbledore!" Chris almost shouted in disbelief.

"It was Dumbledore's plan . . . for the greater good," Harry smiled looking at Chris but there was so much pain in that smile, Chris was taken aback. "And I have to do the same. For the greater good, I must be brave and determined like Dumbledore."

"What do you mean . . . you have to do the same?" Chris's voice shook as she spoke. She was never this scared, even when she found out she might die at the end of this war. This was different.

"It's the only way, Chris," Harry spoke, his smile still lingering on his face. "There is a reason . . . Voldemort and I are connected. I think you know that too . . . I mean you could have guessed. Or the Demetors must have told you about it. They can sense these things more than any wizard or witch, right?"

Chris wanted to deny it, she wanted to play dumb but her brain already caught up to what Harry was implying. The reason behind his connection to Voldemort and Nagini, him attracting the Dementors, and Dumbledore's warning about him. It all made sense.

"But there has to be another way," Chris said visibly panicking. "You can still . . . we can . . ."

"Chris," Harry clutched her hands tightly. "I have to do it. It's the only way. Dumbledore told everything to Snape. That's what was his memory."

"Maybe you misunderstood him!" Chris choked as tears threatened to spill from her eyes again. She couldn't lose Harry too. 

Please no.

"Chris --" Harry tried to reason but Chris didn't want to believe him. She gripped Harry's hands back and looked into his green eyes.

"I need to see for myself. Don't resist," that's all the warning Chris gave Harry before diving into his recent memories.

She looked for memories of Dumbledore and Snape and quickly found them.

"Don't kill me!"

"That was not my intention."

Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand.

"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"

"No – no message – I'm here on my own account!"

Snape was wringing his hands. He looked a little mad, with his straggling black hair flying around him.

"I – I come with a warning – no, a request – please – "

Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other.

"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"

"The – the prophecy…the prediction…Trelawney…"

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"

"Everything – everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why – it is for that reason – he thinks it means Lily Evans!"

"The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July – "

"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down – kill them all – "

"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"

"I have – I have asked him – "

"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and Chris had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little, "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

Snape said nothing but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

"Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her – them – safe. Please."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In – in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Chris expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."

The hilltop faded, and Dumbledore's office appeared, and something was making a terrible sound, like a wounded animal. Snape was slumped forward in a chair and Dumbledore was standing over him, looking grim. After a moment or two, Snape raised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery since leaving the wild hilltop.

"I thought…you were going…to keep her…safe…"

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

Snape's breathing was shallow.

"Her boy survives," said Dumbledore.

With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly.

"Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish…I wish I were dead…"

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Snape seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him.

"What – what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

"He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone – "

"The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself and mastered his own breathing. At last, he said, "Very well. Very well. But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…especially Potter's son…I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist…"

The office dissolved but re-formed instantly. Snape was pacing up and down in front of Dumbledore.

" – mediocre, arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker, delighted to find himself famous, attention-seeking and impertinent – "

"You see what you expect to see, Severus," said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy of Transfiguration Today. "Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child."

Dumbledore turned a page, and said, without looking up, "Keep an eye on Quirrell, won't you?"

A whirl of color, and now everything darkened, and Snape and Dumbledore stood a little apart in the entrance hall, while the last stragglers from the Yule Ball passed them on their way to bed.

"Well?" murmured Dumbledore.

"Karkaroff's Mark is becoming darker too. He is panicking, he fears retribution; you know how much help he gave the Ministry after the Dark Lord fell." Snape looked sideways at Dumbledore's crooked-nosed profile. "Karkaroff intends to flee if the Mark burns."

"Does he?" said Dumbledore softly, as Fleur Delacour and Roger Davies came giggling in from the grounds. "And are you tempted to join him?"

"No," said Snape, his black eyes on Fleur's and Roger's retreating figures. "I am not such a coward."

"No," agreed Dumbledore. "You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon…"

He walked away, leaving Snape looking stricken…

Then they were back at Dumbledore's office.

"Well, really, this makes matters much more straightforward."

Snape looked utterly perplexed. Dumbledore smiled.

"I refer to the plan Lord Voldemort is revolving around me. His plan is to have the poor Fawley boy help in murdering me."

Snape sat down in the chair Chris had so often occupied, across the desk from Dumbledore. Scowling, Snape said, "The Dark Lord does not expect Jason to succeed. This is merely Maligno's idea to isolate Norton. Slow torture for Jason and drive him away from Norton like everybody else in her life."

"In short, I have a death sentence pronounced upon me as surely as Christina has her heart getting broken," said Dumbledore. "Now, I should have thought the natural successor to the job, once Jason fails, is yourself?"

There was a short pause.

"That, I think, is the Dark Lord and Maligno's plan."

"Lord Voldemort foresees a moment in the near future when he will not need a spy at Hogwarts?"

"He believes the school will soon be in his grasp, yes."

"And if it does fall into his grasp," said Dumbledore, almost, it seemed, as an aside, "I have your word that you will do all in your power to protect the students at Hogwarts?"

Snape gave a stiff nod.

"Good. Now then. Your first priority will be to discover what Jason is up to. A frightened teenage boy is a danger to others as well as to himself. Offer him help and guidance, he ought to accept, he likes you – "

"Only because his mother knew me in school and told him about it."

"He also respects you as his teacher, Severus. Use that. I am concerned less for myself than for accidental victims of whatever schemes might occur to the boy. Ultimately, of course, there is only one thing to be done if we are to save him from Maligno and Lord Voldemort's wrath."

Snape raised his eyebrows and his tone was sardonic as he asked, "What are you insinuating, exactly?"

"I'm simply informing you that you must be the one to kill me."

There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise. Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttlebone.

"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"

"Oh, not quite yet," said Dumbledore, smiling. "I daresay the moment will present itself in due course. But we can be sure that it will happen within a year."

"If you don't mind dying," said Snape roughly, "why not let any of Maligno's men do it or whoever they would send to help Jason? Or why not Jason himself?"

"That boy's soul is not yet so damaged," said Dumbledore. "I would not have it ripped apart on my account."

"And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?"

"You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation," said Dumbledore. "I ask this one great favor of you, Severus, because death is coming for me as surely as the Chudley Cannons will finish bottom of this year's league. I confess I should prefer a quick, painless exit to the protracted and messy affair it will be if, for instance, Greyback is involved – I hear Voldemort has recruited him? Or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it."

His tone was light, but his blue eyes pierced Snape as they had frequently pierced Chris, as though the soul they discussed was visible to him. At last, Snape gave another curt nod.

Dumbledore seemed satisfied.

"Thank you, Severus…"

The office disappeared, and now Snape and Dumbledore were strolling together on the deserted castle grounds by twilight.

"What are you doing with Potter, all these evenings you are closeted together?" Snape asked abruptly.

Dumbledore looked weary.

"Why? You aren't trying to give him more detentions, Severus? The boy will soon have spent more time in detention than out."

"He is his father over again – "

"In looks, perhaps, but his deepest nature is much more like his mother's. I spend time with Harry because I have things to discuss with him, information I must give him before it is too late."

"Information," repeated Snape. "You trust him…you do not trust me."

"It is not a question of trust. I have, as we both know, limited time. It is essential that I give the boy enough information for him to do what he needs to do."

"And why may I not have the same information?"

"I prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much time dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort."

"Which I do on your orders!"

"And you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you place yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort and Maligno what appears to be valuable information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you."

"Yet you confide much more in a boy who is incapable of Occlumency, whose magic is mediocre, and an even younger girl, who barely manages to control her powers!"

"Since when do you have problems with Christina, Severus? I thought she is the only Gryffindor you are impressed with . . . after Lily, of course," Dumbledore said with amusement in his eyes.

"She is too impulsive just like every other Gryffindor. She's just better at magic than her peers, that's all," Snape scowled. "But that's no reason to confide her in such dire situations. The more you involve her in Dark lord's business the more dangerous it gets for her."

"But her talents are enough for you to secretly train her?"

"I'm not training her in any way."

"Then how did the Half-blood Prince's potions book find its way to her, Severus?" Dumbledore chuckled. "You have seen her progress, haven't you? And dare I say, saw her using the Half-blood Prince's spells, your spells had made you proud."

Snape's scowl deepened but he didn't disagree.

"Admit it, Severus, you are fond of Christina as much as I am," smiled Dumbledore.

"But what about Potter, who has a direct connection to the Dark Lord's mind? Why do you trust him?" Snape suddenly changed the direction of the conversation. 

"Voldemort fears that connection," said Dumbledore. "Not so long ago he had one small taste of what truly sharing Harry's mind means to him. It was pain such as he had never experienced. He will not try to possess Harry again, I am sure of it. Not in that way."

"I don't understand."

"Lord Voldemort's soul, maimed as it is, cannot bear close contact with a soul like Harry's. Like a tongue on frozen steel, like flesh in flame – "

"Souls? We were talking of minds!"

"In the case of Harry and Lord Voldemort, to speak of one is to speak of the other."

Dumbledore glanced around to make sure that they were alone. They were close to the Forbidden Forest now, but there was no sign of anyone near them.

"After you have killed me, Severus – "

"You refuse to tell me everything, yet you expect that small service of me!" snarled Snape and real anger flared in the thin face now. "You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore! Perhaps I have changed my mind!"

"You gave me your word, Severus. And while we are talking about services you owe me, I thought you agreed to keep a close eye on our young Slytherin friend?"

Snape looked angry, mutinous. Dumbledore sighed.

"Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you…"

They were back in Dumbledore's office, the windows dark, and Fawkes sat silent as Snape sat quite still, as Dumbledore walked around him, talking.

"Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?"

"But what must he do?"

"That is between Harry and me. Now listen closely, Severus. There will come a time – after my death – do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."

"For Nagini?" Snape looked astonished.

"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Harry."

"Tell him what?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsed building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die."

"So the boy…the boy must die?" asked Snape quite calmly.

"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."

Another long silence. Then Snape said, "I thought…all those years…that we were protecting him for her. For Lily."

"We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth. Sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."

Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.

"You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?"

"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape. He stood up. "You have used me."

"Meaning?"

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter – "

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

[To be continued]