Ready for The End

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Happy new year, my favorite readers! I hope you all have a great year ahead and this new year all your wishes come true and you become happier.

Also, thank you for sticking with me and my terrible posting schedule for this long. Thank you for loving my story.

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***

Chris dropped Harry's hands as all strength left her body completely. Only one thing echoed in her mind, Harry had to die and Dumbledore knew . . . and Dumbledore manipulated everything and everyone to make sure this moment happened . . . that Harry did die at the right moment.

How could Dumbledore do something like this to Harry of all people? The boy he always told he was fond of? How could he use Snape's feelings like that to have him do this? 

And now both of them were dead. And Harry was on his way to die.

"Chris?" Harry called softly holding her hands again.

"How could he? How? Why?" That was all Chris could muster to mumble.

"For the greater good," Harry smiled bitterly. "I'm the last link of Voldemort's life. Neither can live, neither can survive. We are destined to die together. How ironic, isn't it?"

"No . . . no . . . please. . ." Chris whispered and her voice broke.

"It's fine," Harry whispered back as he tucked a few of her brown hair strands behind her ear. 

Chris saw the certainty in his eyes. Like he was ready to die and that broke her completely. She embraced him with as much strength she had, she buried her face in his shoulder and gripped his back with her trembling fingers. It wasn't Dumbledore's betrayal that hurt Chris, it was Harry's acceptance of the betrayal and the acceptance of his death. He was ready to die and finish his job. Just like as the protector Chris had accepted to die, Harry had accepted his end at the hands of Voldemort. And she could do nothing to change his mind. 

A few tears silently fell from Chris's eyes and got soaked into Harry's shirt. She didn't even have the strength to weep. She had already cried so much that her eyes felt tired but without the loud wails, her heart got heavier and heavier with every passing moment and she needed to say it before she could never have the chance to say it.

"I love you, Harry."

Chris's voice was barely more than a whisper but Harry's sudden stillness made clear that he heard her.

"I love you too, Chris. I always have," Harry murmured in her hair.

They kissed. Both were painfully aware that this was going to be the last time they got to hold each other, kiss each other. Both of them felt tears in each other's faces but they didn't stop. They gripped each other's faces and kissed until they were completely out of breath. 

"I am sorry for leaving you," Chris whispered looking into Harry's beautiful eyes. This close his eyes were the only thing she could see and that's all she needed. "We could have more time if I hadn't --"

"Shh . . ." Harry smiled at her again, wiping away her tears. "I wouldn't change a single thing about you. About our story. Thank you for being you, Chris. You know I jump into a lot of risky situations in my life because at one point - I don't know how - I started to believe that no matter how many times I act stupidly brave and do something completely stupid, you will always watch my back. You probably scolded and beat me afterward but you always understood why I did something, even when nobody else did. Because . . . you always have been my strength. You have always been there for me. Since the day we became friends. Since the day we met. One day you just barged into my life and changed it forever. And I will be forever grateful for that." 

He kissed Chris's forehead lightly as Chris tightened her grip around him. 

"Now, don't follow me, ok?" Harry spoke very softly as he started to pull back. "Finish this after I am gone. Save the wizarding world . . . for me."

Harry stepped back and Chris reluctantly let go of his hand. This was it. Their end.

Harry gave a last painful smile as he walked backward . . . away from Chris, but couldn't bring himself to look away from her. But just as he was about to wrap his Invisibility cloak around him again, Chris stepped forward.

"Harry, wait!"

Harry halted in his steps as Chris approached him. But before Harry could say anything, she pointed her wand at him . . . specifically his eyes.

"Your glasses . . . they are broken," Chris informed, then suddenly a memory made her smile. "Remember I said, I would fix it for you when I have my wand."

It took Harry a few seconds to remember what Chris was talking about but when he did, he chuckled through teary eyes. It was the first time they met in the Diagon Alley and he bumped into Chris with his broken glasses.

"You said, or else I would go around knocking over people," Harry laughed at the memory.

Chris smiled the same way and even though her tears were blurring her vision, she waved her wand and mumbled, "Oculus Reparo." 

It had been a while since Chris actually uttered a spell. She always worked with non-verbal spells since she learned how to do them, but this time she had to say it out loud. Maybe to relive the moment she had met Harry for the first time.

"Thanks," Harry smiled again, and before Chris could say anything else, he wrapped the Invisibility cloak around him and disappeared.

Chris stood there alone as she watched or rather felt Harry's energy going further and further away from her. She didn't follow him as Harry asked her, she didn't even call him, because she knew it took everything in Harry to walk away. Minutes passed as Chris stood there motionless even though she knew Harry was long gone. But she didn't want to move, Chris's legs felt as if they were glued to the ground. 

Chris dropped to her knees and broke down completely. Tears she didn't even know she was holding back, poured out of her without any restraint, and burying her face in her hands Chris let them flow. She always knew the end was getting closer and closer, yet she never expected it to look like this. Barren, empty, and devoid of life. So many had died today but wasn't it enough? She just kept losing people again and again. What was she protecting anyway if she was this protector? She couldn't save Jason, Remus, Tonks, and the others who died in this war. She couldn't save Harry. Hell, she couldn't even save the ancient Hogwarts castle, something she claimed and promised to protect. And now Maligno was going to suck the rest of the lives out of this place unless she figures out a way to stop him.

"Christina?" Fergus called quietly but Chris didn't look up at him, so he continued, "I know what just happened and I can feel how you are feeling. Trust me . . . I know how it feels to lose the person you love. But I learned the hard way that if you let those emotions rule you, you will end up losing more. You have to --"

"I always believed that too, you know," Chris spoke quietly without looking up, her voice hoarse from crying. 

"What?" Fergus asked at the interruption. 

"I also believed that if I let my emotions control me, I would lose. Why do you think I ran away from my friends? From Hogwarts?" Chris spoke monotonously, staring at the ground. "I have always been running from my feelings, Fergus. I ran away when I realized I hurt Richard with my magic, I ran away when I attacked a classmate, I ran away from my feelings again and again, never letting anyone get close to me. I took pride in it too. I always told myself how I wasn't so emotional, how I wasn't like Harry, who relied so much on his emotions that he could never learn Occlumency. But whenever I lost control because of my emotions, I ran away. I used to think like you Fergus, that my emotions were the problem but it isn't. It's the lack of it. You also always controlled your emotions, didn't you, Fergus? You were also taught that too many emotions would lead to destruction with our powers. So you did the same, so you never realized either that it's the suppression of those emotions that leads us to lose control. We lost control because we never let them out normally and one day just snapped."

Chris looked up to find Fergus staring at her with glazed eyes. The realization finally dawned on him.

"Turns out if we don't feel enough, we can't care enough, thus we can't live enough. And if we don't care enough, then how can we save people?" Chris found herself smiling as the pieces at last clicked in her mind. "The mirror reflects the soul of the warrior . . . Only for the calm minds but not the minds that stir . . . The memories of deep can be hidden so fine . . . Yet can be found as the stars do not lie . . . reflects the soul of the warrior . . . not the minds that stir . . . memories of deep . . . stars do not lie . . . I need to find my soul, Fergus, where it reflects when everything is still and not stirring and it's hidden in the deep . . . Of course, it's the place I always felt connected to. The Lake." 

Chris stood up before Fergus could respond.

"I am ready Fergus," Chris smiled. "Let's save the rest of the Wizarding World. . . for Remus, for Tonks, for Jason . . . for Harry."

There were tears in Fergus's eyes as he looked at Chris and after a second, nodded in agreement. Fergus slowly merged into Chris as her power-sharing spell was deactivated. Chris ran toward the direction of the lake.

"Ginny," Chris spoke into the talisman. "Kill Nagini."

That was all she said before diving head-first into the lake.

[To be continued]