Episode 14 : To the Wilderness of Shem Again - Part 3

 If--

 If Guin had misjudged and tried in vain to escape, or if he had not misjudged and misplaced himself just a little, his enormous destiny might have ended at the very beginning.

 This leopard-headed warrior, naked half-breed, half-god, who suddenly appeared in the forest of Rude below Staphorus Castle without anyone knowing his true identity, seemed to have a strange and precise instinct for action from the beginning. I don't know why.

 As he was guided by it, he felt the rumbling of a violent sandstorm behind him, and as soon as he jumped from the horse, he squeezed the horse's reins and pulled it down, and using it as a shield, he got down, crouched down with his arms to protect his head, and curled himself up in a fetal position and became small.

 A leather cloak completely enveloped his huge body. Immediately, there was a fierce, pitiful sound of sand and pebbles hitting the outside of the cloak, and the sad whining and screaming of a horse--

 And finally, the storm came!

 The tremendous roar of the mad wind increased to a roar in an instant. With his eyes closed and his head cradled in a posture of utter defensiveness, Guin's surroundings instantly became completely blank, and a terrifying vacuum took over the area.

 The roar turned into a screeching, high-pitched slashing sound, and an overwhelmingly huge palm grabbed Guin and swung him around in a violent manner. A strange sound like sobbing could be heard in the midst of the wind, and outside the eyelids that had been held open, complete darkness and white light were replaced.

 Now, the fury of nature has turned all of the desert into its territory, and it is in full control of its mad tyranny. All the sand that had been swept up by the tornado was splashing, shaking, and boiling like that in a container being violently shaken by a terrifyingly huge hand. The crunching sound of stones hitting stones and sand hitting sand was interspersed with the tremendous cracking sound of the vacuum in the center of the tornado as they hit.

 Even Silenus himself could not have remained unharmed for even a second in the midst of this storm. A huge black hand came out of the sky covered with black clouds and struck the earth again and again with its mallet of air, turning the vast desert into an ocean of boiling storm. It was as if Zord, the son of the demon Dole, the serpent of Hades, in his blind, mad, black rage, overflowing with a desperate desire to destroy everything that touched his long body, was raging and writhing, breathing out fire and sulfur. Nospherus bent his accursed body before the wrath of Dole, trembling at his breath and ranting at his fury.

 A thick wall of air, now covered with stone and sand, filled all vision and turned it into utter darkness. The sand was rolled up and thrown high into the sky, along with the idols, sandhills, giant anteaters, and other strange and brutal creatures that had been lurking safely within. In their wake was a gouged hole, and as soon as it was seen, streams of sand came pouring in from all directions and triggered a tremendous landslide. It was a fierce explosion of power reminiscent of the end of the world - Armageddon. No power, no wisdom, no means could do anything against this direct hit of power. After the tornado had rushed forward, throwing up everything beneath it, a muddy stream of sand drifted down into the rapidly rupturing wound and swept away everything in its path with a deafening roar.

 The storm raged for nearly an hour, for what seemed like an eternity. It was a great storm and a great tornado, so great that it could be seen even from the keep of Alvon Castle, which stood far away across the River Kes. The Earl of Rickard, the lord of Alvon, was so worried about the expeditionary force that he could not leave his watchtower. On that day, in the land of the free settlers around the castle of Turid, further down the Kes than Alvon, the desert wormwood, which should have grown only in the interior of Nosferus, was carried by the wind to the fields they had cultivated.

 It was an unmistakable storm of dole. There was no more sure proof of the persistent belief that Nosferus was the land of the devil, forgotten by God, where all opportunities for grace were lost.

 The sky became as if it had been stained with ink, and the earth shook and rumbled as if it were the dark life that had emerged from hell, as if the legendary horses of Grac had ridden through and back again. The sun had already set when the tornado, just as it had when it was born, suddenly settled in the rocky mountains to the east.

 Guin was dreaming.

 What part of what he saw, unconscious and at the mercy of the tyranny of the wind and the storm, was a dream, and what part was a secret revelation from a greater being... Of course, there is no way for him to know that.

 But he heard a voice calling his name in the midst of the raging storm, the rumbling of the earth like the hoofbeats of a great herd of grack horses, so vividly that he could almost distinguish the tone of the voice, but it seemed to come from a terrible distance.

(Guin ... Guin ...)

 At first, the voice seemed to be nothing more than the roar of a storm, the rustle of the wind. But..,

(Guin--Guin! )

 The voice was becoming clearer and clearer, cradled by the wind, creeping into and clinging to his blank consciousness as he surrendered to the storm. He tried to answer.

Who the hell are you, and why are you calling me?

(Guin--Guin--Guin!

It's me. Guin is me. I'm right here-- who are you?

(GUNN--)

 It was distant, it was close, it was laughing, it was faltering, it was stern, it was threatening. But the only thing that was certain was that it was a woman's voice, a young and beautiful woman's voice.

 Guin doesn't know if it's just one woman's voice, or if it's several women calling out in turn. The only thing he knows is that the owner of the voice knows something very important and is trying to tell him - and when he can understand it or her, everything will be made right and he will have a glorious forgiveness and mercy. He knew that everything would be made right, and that a glorious forgiveness and mercy would come upon him.

I...

 He wriggled his mouth and tried to shout - to get the woman's attention and appeal to her heart.

I know you. ... You're something that I have a very close relationship with. I've been looking for you. I had a question I had to ask you. Why--that's this, why am I like this--

(Why am I like this ...)

Why me?

(Why)

 Suddenly Guin was puzzled. He realized that he couldn't remember why he was so upset, or what the big deal was that he had been so eager to find out. He was perplexed.

I...

(I'm)

(I'm)

(I'm)

(I'm)

 Suddenly, the place was transformed into a silent, deep cave. Guin's thoughts reverberated in the cave, creating countless echoes.

"Why don't you show yourself, instead of playing your little tricks?"

 In a fit of rage, he shouted. Because he knew that somewhere in there lurked the thing he was looking for. It was also..,

Why don't you show me?

(How's it going? )

(How's it going? )

(How's it going? )

 It produced an echo as if it were the voice of an oracle in the temple of Yarn.

 Guin looked around. It seemed to be a place that Guin had already visited once, or had visited more often. This was because there was something terribly familiar about the stalactites hanging and rising from the walls, and the dark, clammy branch holes luring back and forth from side to side.

Where am I?

 Guin tried to remember. But it seemed that all memory was no longer at his disposal, and he could not even perceive whether he knew something or not in the first place.

 He reached out and groped, and his hand touched his beloved greatsword at his hip. The relief and confidence that the reliable smoothness of the steel in his hand brought to him was so great that even he marveled at it. I see," he thought to himself.

"As long as you have this, I don't care what you're up to."

 Once again, he placed his hand on the handle of the bellows, and after confirming that it was ready to be removed, he set about exploring the cave to get somewhere.

 His whole body felt heavy and languid with fatigue. A dreadful distant traveler's dread gripped him, and more than that, a watery stinging sensation in the air prevented him from moving lightly. He looked around as if he wanted to draw his sword and slash through the languor that clung to him.

 What appeared to be countless branch holes in the limestone cave, however, actually turned out to be only four large crossroads when I looked at it that way. The rest of the holes were either dead ends or led immediately to the big one, and only these four, as if waiting for his visit, were glooming like toothless mouths toward the four sides of the hall where he was standing.

 Which one should I go for, he thought to himself. He didn't know why, but he felt hesitant about choosing one of them. He wanted to know what was in it beforehand.

 But he also knew that it was impossible. Once he knew, perhaps the path would quickly change its shape. He searched his hiding place and took out a coin.

 He was going to flick it off and go into the entrance at the bottom. But the moment he laid eyes on the coin, he was startled.

 The profile that is etched into the surface of that little coin of red copper--

 It was, indeed, a relief of the leopard-headed man himself. And that was not all.

 On the head of the leopard, which turns its head to the side and opens its mouth, is a glorious crown.

 It was clearly the proud and noble testimony of a king of a powerful country, rich in tradition and glory, studded with huge jewels and intricate patterns.

(Is this ...?)

 Guin's hand shook slightly. He held up the coin and peered at it closely. Around the coin, in relief, were runes inscribed around his own profile. He read it.

"In the name of Janus the Two-Faced, I pronounce you Great.

 There is.

King?

 Guin rushed to flip the coin. The face of a young woman, not Guin's, was carved on the reverse.

 A slender woman with her hair tied up in a high bun and a small chin turned down - she had a well-groomed, graceful face as if to show her noble bloodline, but the way she turned down her chin gave her a somewhat sorrowful and noble look. . A crown was also placed on his tied-up head. Clearly, it was a somewhat smaller counterpart to Guin's. Beneath it, too, were the words.

(By Yarn's guidance, she became Queen of Guin.)

 and .

(Guin--King ... Queen?

 Guin gasped.

The queen? Who is this-- who is this woman? And this is ...)

 At a loss as to how he had gotten into the hiding place, he looked at the mysterious coin that told of his own rise to fame and the existence of his strange wife.

 But instead of tossing it, he puts it away and decides to solve this mystery later, slowly, and looks for another coin. The familiar Nakahara common one-tenth-run coin appeared.

 Somewhat relieved, he flicked it with his finger. It was thrown up above his head and then landed in front of his right hand - the second cave from the right, as he saw it.

"Very well."

 He muttered and picked up the coin. He straightened up, checked his sword again, and stepped into the hole with a careless stride. For a moment he wondered if he should mark the way back, but then he shrugged his shoulders. In any case, it occurred to him that he did not even know where he was or why he was doing this.

(If you keep going straight ahead, you'll end up somewhere anyway.)

 He began to walk along the dark and narrow road, paying attention to his slippery feet.

 It was a cave that gave me a sense of nostalgia, but it was also a cave that was somehow blunt and full of strange foreboding.

 It seemed to Guin to be the dark womb path that a person must follow in order to be born into the world, or the border between this world and the next, where the dead are weighed by the scales of Yarn for the value of their lives and souls, and then chased away. The sight of a pale fire in the distance made Guin wonder several times if it was a demon fire or the soul of a dead person, but each time it disappeared again and only silence remained.

 There were no lights anywhere, and the place was supposed to be dark, but only the footsteps of the man walking mysteriously appeared as if the earth itself was flooded with light. Guin never turned his head. He did not know why, but he felt that he must not look back, that he must not look back, that he must not look back, that he must not look back, that he must not look back, that he must not look back, that he must not look back.

 Guin's neck was burning, and it seemed as if only some transcendent sense other than the five senses was guiding him to the danger and the right path. He had the feeling that the further he walked, the more the darkness closed in behind him, cutting off his path of retreat.

 As he thought this, he suddenly heard a faint laugh behind him - a sickening laugh, like that of a desert hyena or a werewolf. But still he did not look back.

 The voice calling his name, which he had heard earlier, had one day all but ceased to exist. He did not doubt that he was on the right path, that he was on the right track. Only such a man, who is guided by fate rather than chance, who always does what he should do and takes the direction he should take while believing himself to be by chance, can be a kind of power for fate, ironically enough. The two faces of chance and fate illuminate this world, and it is the choice of which side to reach out to that separates a man from a rowing slave and a pilot guide.

 Guin continued to feel the strange, relaxed comfort of being completely enveloped and protected by the darkness. He felt as if he were awake but not awake, born but not even born, and he was filled with a strange repose and a carnal satisfaction.

That's how one walks. Most men awaken only a small part of their souls from the darkness, and even the so-called wise ones are really only striking their sleepy eyes in the twilight at best. Man is born asleep, walks in the darkness as if he were still dreaming, and then, slowly, puts his head back on the pillow and goes back to sleep as if he had only turned over - this time to a sleep from which he will never wake up. A sleep from which you will never wake. Who is it that is awake? Who is in charge of the border between dream and sleep? Who throws the rhinoceros of chance and weaves the flap of fate? God? What is he? Where is he? Why did he choose me? Who am I? (What did I bring this head up from its comfy slumber to do? ...)

Who am I?

 Suddenly, Guin gasped.

 It was at the same time that he thought so, and in front of him, the darkness that had seemed to last forever suddenly ended, and a pale, inexplicable light shone out from one place.

 Guin put his hand on the hilt of his sword and ran toward the light, watching his step carefully. He could feel the darkness that seemed to hang heavy on the back of his neck being torn away from his body.

This light!

 The pale light seemed to be coming directly from the body of something lying there, on the ground where the earth had fallen suddenly to a lower level. Guin grasped his sword and approached it unsteadily.

 When he finally got close enough to peer into the light, a low moan escaped from Guin's mouth.

"This, this is ...."

 What Guin was looking down on was terrifying and bizarre.

 A gigantic--almost as gigantic as Guin himself--pale, glowing baby.

 But it had no arms or legs. Curled up like a caterpillar, it was nothing more than a lump of flesh with a huge head and a huge torso.

 And that's when it opened its eyes!

"Wah!"

 Guin, unmoved by what had just happened, let out a cry that sounded like a scream and jumped out of his skin. As soon as the baby's huge, single eye opened, a tremendous dazzle took over the area, and for a moment, surrounded by that blue, white-hot light, it shone like the inside of a volcano spewing lava.

 Guin clenched his eyes and staggered to his feet. No sooner had he unsheathed his sword than a white glare pierced his eyes even through his eyelids, which he held tightly with his hands, and the sticky darkness of the past was all but eradicated by the light.

Go your own way.

 In the midst of this explosion of light there came, in the distance, a voice of an infinitely aged man, different from the previous one, powerful and strangely resounding. It seemed to be coming from the lacerated lips of the limbless child who lay before him, uttered by a vocal organ that was not a voice.

Go your own way and meet your own fate. Trample on both crown and chain. Three women will guide you.

Three women?

(Meet one woman and you'll find your destiny - meet one woman and you'll find your crown - and meet one woman and you'll find yourself)

Who's that? Who, no, who am I, what am I, why am I like this! Am I man or beast or am I cursed? Tell me, how can a man be himself and go his own way without ever knowing who he is!

You can do it.

 A voice answered with a whining crack. It was tinged with a harsh, chilling crack.

Because you're not a man.

You're not a man.

 Guin howled. He forgot even his awe at the fury, the rage, and the more insatiable rush.

You're not a man! Am I a monster or just a beast? ! Tell me, if I'm not a man or anything, why did you give me a human life! What do you want from me?

(So...)

 A voice answered.

Let me rephrase that. You're not a man yet. Go your own way and meet three women and be yourself.

How did you do that? Where are you going?

(By doing right in your own way)

How do you know it's the right way? How do you know she's one of the three?

 That's when I screamed.

(Guin--Guin! )

 I heard a familiar voice, a young woman's voice.

 When he turned around, he saw the silhouette of a slender woman standing in the flood of incandescent light. The woman held out her hand to him and seemed to be trying to offer him something.

So this is one of the girls!

 As soon as he shouted, he suddenly rushed towards it. The woman's silhouette seemed frightened. She whirled around and ran away in a dignified manner.

"Wait!"

 Guin ran. A man's legs. Instantly, he caught up.

 A strong and powerful hand grabbed the woman. The woman screamed and fought back. The touch of her smooth, supple shoulders and wrists sent Guin reeling.

"This woman! Will she give me my destiny, my throne, or my lost self? Will she give birth to me in true life, when I am still not a man?"

 Guin put his hand on the woman's neck and pulled her close. The woman flung back her long hair and hid her face. The incandescent light that surrounded her turned her hair into a white light, making its color indistinguishable. Guin twisted the shining hair away from her hands and turned the woman's face toward him.

 And he screamed.

"You are!"

 A moment later--

 Everything went dark.

 All the lights, all the worlds, all the realities, fell away at once. As he crashed headlong into the infinite emptiness, Guin was haunted only by the woman's heated smile.