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Douluo Dalu: 9 Treasure Sword

Penulis: picaco
Anime & Comics
Lengkap · 4.6M Dilihat
  • 257 Bab
    Konten
  • 3.7
    92 peringkat
  • NO.200+
    DUKUNG
Ringkasan

Observe how Ning Bai, big brother of Ning Rongrong aim to be at the top. ------------------------------------------------------ I don't know anything that you recognize all rights go to the author. The cover is not mine. --------------------------------------------------- This is my first time writing something and English is not even my second language so I will be thankful with the correction of grammar and orthography. Constructive comments are appreciated, plis avoid toxic comments.

tagar
1 tagar
Anda Mungkin Juga Menyukai

Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews conplaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Komik
4.6
776 Chs

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picaco
picacoPenulispicaco

Here's the author doing a review of this already finished novel. I started writing this novel as my first time truly writing in English to improve it. The grammar and phrase construction is lacking at first, but as the novel advances, I improved in it, Grammarly was a great help. For the Stability of the updates, I finished writing 256 chapters after 10 months, almost a chapter for day as average. Is already finished so there's nothing much to say. About the story, at first it start with a lax and infantil writing, with a very crude English. The story being written day by day without, always changing what I had thought. This causes some plot holes over the novel that I closed maybe a little forcefully over the novel. What most people complained was about the loss of memory. Yes, there was and in chapter forty-something is explained the why. Read it thinking that he has no memories of the novel after his first ring. People also complained about his style that was control-defense, but why? With a team is a good style, being able to control the team, letting the others finish them. Then as the story advances, entering more the solo player mode, his style changes. Summarizing, I liked to write this story even facing against the hate. It starts a little poor and I am not too proud of it, only considering it as the improvement of the later parts. But, I am proud of the end, really liking how it finished. If you like OP characters that goes facepalming everyone, because it didn't matter anything because they are OP and untouchable, this isn't your novel. He grows stronger than his age, faving greater enemies but always with that might lose.

Schnee_
Schnee_Lv5Schnee_

What the **** is happening in the story in the start it clearly said he knew what world he is in and he know it but in the middle of the story he didnt know renxue and didnt know the others its more like he got amnesia and for those whi gave 5 star they are just hyping the story saying its good this and that but they forgot the background story of the MC the MC is an avid reader who read alot in his spare time even walking and only stop when he is in roadside so to avoid danger... But the **** i thought the MC is a illigimte child he looks like grandpa sword instead of clan master ning did he get ntred he must be look like either her mother or father not someone who unrelated to their family .... And it clearly said he knew he is in soul land and he still and always do something stupid like how the **** he say they need some good connection for their family to flourish but completely forgot the op omc of the story and go around socialicing in idiots.... Its ok for him to go to the empire school but he completely forgotten the danger of future that awaits for a 100 thousand year old beast so instead of propagating the and queen somjust and must hide her ......IM SURE THE MC GOT AMNESIA WHEN HE FINISH HIS TRAINING IN FOREST AND EAT THE POTATO HE THE MC AND THE AUTHOR BRAIN BECOME POTATO TOO FUCK ENGLISH IM A FILIPINO SO THATS WHY I DONT HAVE A GOOD GRAMMAR

READERofBooks
READERofBooksLv13READERofBooks

Was a good novel until the author made the mc a woos who shares his Oreos with everyone, lost his previous life’s memories, and their team depended more on meiyi than him he also becomes less talented than his sister due to immortal herbs coming out of tang sans ass

SageOfSins
SageOfSinsLv3SageOfSins

Plz I only have one request just drop the story ... And improve your grammar plus try to learn correct spelling... Drop the story and just never write a fanfic later on.. Thank u

Jlax
JlaxLv10Jlax

The grammar is bad and there is little to no flow in the story. The worst part is that it feels messy as f*ck. The protagonist's thoughts are f*cking everywhere and so much unecessary things are going on. The first chapter was trash, the author's comments on the paragraphs just took away any form of immersion from me, not that there was much to begin with. There's an author's note section for crying out loud. All in all, if you like to read something that's of relatively low quality then this novel is for you.

Farmy
FarmyLv5Farmy

BAD--------, Author start with MC suppose to be big fan of douluo dalu before rebirth but after few chapter he show like he know nothing of the canon story [ the idiot did not even know the prince is spy from spirit hall ]. o.o----------------

lomada97
lomada97Lv5lomada97

I like the Story line which it is going.. I hope you won't drop the novel.i will support this novel well. I like the character in this novel. Simply it is very good

Natsu423
Natsu423Lv5Natsu423

just want a op smart mc hes a funking idiot that its act like a 6 years old and the cookie **** its **** ................................................

An_Anime_Addict
An_Anime_AddictLv14An_Anime_Addict

What the **** is wrong with this moronic author. Damn he doesn't even know how to manage his own plot and oh god there are so many plotholes. Also what's with the mc losing all his previous memories and becoming a retard after those bull**** forced things that happened and even more so you didn't even give the true reason for that happening and saying that it would be revealed in chapter 60 and guess what, you didn't tell anything idiotic asshole.

Heavenly_Rain
Heavenly_RainLv5Heavenly_Rain

THIS NOVEL HAS A CRAZY TWIST, NOT A GOOD ONE BUT A CRAZY RAPE THINKING KINDA MAIN CHARACTER. YOU WILL ONLY SEE IT SOMEWHERE AROUND CHAPTER 50-60. FOR THOSE THAT DOES NOT LIKE THIS STUFF, THAN I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ IT.

joe_woollard
joe_woollardLv1joe_woollard

Good story so far the character development seems good so far. I'm curious what you will do with the food spirit he has (lol Oreo cookie aha) a few minor spelling mistakes from what ive seen but nothing major especially if English isn't your first language.

Mordukai
MordukaiLv13Mordukai

This is all I’m saying .MC 💩 .MC BRAIN 💩 .STORY DEVELOPMENT 💩 .Like come on you give twin spirit and yet they are both trash. Do you know what are the odds of getting twin spirit and yet they are both trash. I already had a bit of skepticism since you started off a Mc with support class like really and then you go and give him a second support class in which he can’t even choose what he wants to put. Not to mention the second one is to make his cultivation progress faster and yet he almost got his ass handed to him by the original Mc such a disappointment Anyone who gives this story a 5 star rating you are not only not helping improve the story but you are being kind of D*** to the rest of us that see the rating and think 🤔 well it might be good only to get n Mc that is trash.

3PoundsOfRice
3PoundsOfRiceLv53PoundsOfRice

I think I've seen enough chapters to be able to write a fair review. Your fanfic is very good, the martial souls of the Mc are good and groundbreaking and the pace of publication of each chapter does not fall short, so I think your story deserves this qualification.

Draigon
DraigonLv11Draigon

Honestly, a load of sh*t... The f*cking spelling and grammar make it hard to read as well...........................................................................

Terry_Hilfiger
Terry_HilfigerLv3Terry_Hilfiger

The author has a very interesting idea for the book, but the implementation came out bad. Not only are some points not consistent with the logic of the simplest relationships, but also the plot is very twisted on events that do not greatly affect the course of history. In chapter 141, the author completely spoils the work to the end, which discourages interest.

Mandiiyy
MandiiyyLv13Mandiiyy

MC is seriously nerfed with no proper powers is too weak and can't win again others of his same level if they are slightly genius and till now all his wins are against lower level than himself except one at his childhood. Even that guy is also become so strong now that MC won't even last few minutes against him. As for his spirits boths are spirit tools only helping debuffing others and add buffs to him self and other one is food spirit. In my although both of them are good, they are both trash in combat. And when MC becomes rank 50 he is even more nerfed as author makes a situation where MC is unable to go to heaven dou forest to kill powerful beast to get a powerful ring ability and ends up with a trash ability which cannot even harm rank 40 people. Overall MC is too weak and trash.

Nur_Ahmad_Gifari
Nur_Ahmad_GifariLv2Nur_Ahmad_Gifari

how to say, honestly I do not like it, multiple personalities, naive, and memory loss are all collected................................ . ....................................................

phuc12
phuc12Lv4phuc12

just wow ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Heretoc
HeretocLv4Heretoc

I never rate novels by upcoming ******* authors except, when it's great or very bad. This story is not bad, but the way it's going, it will soon be. Why? 1: Language. I am not expecting perfect grammar, but at least enough to make it readable. Wrong sentence formation, no punctuations, long sentences, lack of conjunctions etc. Have you even ran it on a text editor like Word or on a grammar correcting software like Grammarly? 2: Extremely long paragraphs : After first two chapters I found myself skipping most of the chapters. The language already makes it a burden to read. Add these long paragraphs, you find yourself questioning why? 3: MC : As many people already said, the MC is an idiot. How can someone who is around 18, become an idiot who acts like a kid. Until two or three chapters in, he seem to remember the Canon. Now? He remembers nothing. The best part of it? There seems to be no rhyme or reason behind it. It just is. 4: Story : It's extremely wordy and long drawn. Unnecessary details and over explanation just ruin it for me. All this with poor language and long paragraphs, force you to skip. I have many more things to point out but I am too tired to do so. So sorry, but I am dropping it. This story is not for me. Oh and it's over rated. Why does it even have a 4. Rating when the story is not even around a 3?

Phuong_Tran_2215
Phuong_Tran_2215Lv1Phuong_Tran_2215

Pls more

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