Disappointment

Your pov

I went to my parents' house and told them everything.

Everything about Jungkook, what happened to him and how he struggled by himself all these years.

I begged them to help me as I cried into their arms.

I told them how I came to love a person who wasn't normal. But either way, I didn't care how he was. Because I knew how warm and kind he could be. I knew his heart.

And I also knew that it wasn't his fault he was in this way.

And I wanted to do everything in my power to help him. I wanted to at least to try.

I also told them about Jin and how I suspected Jungkook being the one who killed him.

I had to tell them. I trusted my parents and in their good judgment. Maybe they weren't the greatest parents, but they were kind at heart and they always took their job seriously.

They promised me that they will search for him. Of course, I couldn't stay back and wait. I had to be with them and their colleagues. I was too worried about their safety, as well as for his safety. And I was the only one who knew how to approach him and get close enough to inject the drug into his neck and calm him down if he becomes too anxious or scared.

So many neck injections wasn't something I was very happy about. But it was needed because this way the drug will go straight to his brain and it will be more effective. I couldn't afford to lose time.

But something neither of us thought about, happened.

The next day Jungkook went to the doctor's house and threw all his hate toward him until Mingyu lost his consciousness.

I went to the hospital and he was in a really bad condition. I didn't know if he would survive.

What happened between the two of them I didn't find out.

And I couldn't understand why Jungkook had done something like that to Mingyu,  someone who genuinely cared about him.

He was one of those few people who really tried to help him and wanted what was best for Jungkook. And I cried because of that.

You are so wrong Jungkook. Please be aware of that.

_

After four more days, we finally found him. He was sleeping somewhere in the Seoul city subway. Someone who passed him by called the police after seeing blood on his clothes.

I begged my parents and the two officers who were accompanying us to let me alone with him. I knew how dangerous it was but I needed to do it myself. I couldn't bear seeing him chased by them or being taken away handcuffed, or worse, being shot.

So they hid so Jungkook couldn't see them. My chest tightened seeing my father pull out his gun in any case.

"Please no matter what, don't hurt him. " I said as I wrapped my arms around my father. I am begging you."

"You are my daughter and I love you. I am doing all of this because of you. But if your life will be in danger because of this boy, I will not hesitate to hurt him. I prefer your hate than seeing you dead. No matter how sorry I feel for him. "

I threw a glare at him. He was a parent so I guess he was right, but I couldn't help hating him right at that moment.

___&___

Jungkook opened his eyes before you had the opportunity to touch him.

He felt you. Of course, he always had his guard up since the first day. He couldn't otherwise.

"Why? " Jungkook whispered seeing you sitting beside him, not close enough to scare him.

"How did you find me? " he asked as he looked around, making sure you were alone.

"Of course I would find you. Didn't I promise that I will not leave you alone anymore? "

Jungkook frowned at that. "I am not one of those idiots. So this will not work with me."

"But they are a part of you. So if you are considering yourself an idiot then." You smiled. Although your chest hurt seeing him in that state, you still smiled warmly at him.

Jungkook didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled his knees to his chest, closed his eyes and placed his head on your shoulder, taking you by surprise.

You felt him so vulnerable at that moment and so lonely. Tightening your fingers around the syringe you were hiding at you back, you didn't know how to do it. Your heart didn't let you, but you were aware that you had to capture him somehow. You knew you couldn't let him be free.

A tear was felt on your cheek. Then your eyes overflowed with tears. After all, you didn't know how to help him. You felt powerless. You couldn't find a better way for him. A better place for someone like him.

You didn't know how to make him understand. Understand what was the right thing to do and what was wrong.

"Why did you hurt Mingyu, Jungkook? Do you feel better now? "

" I remembered him coming to that house when I was little. I saw him only three or four times, but I remembered him.

I told him what was happening to me. What that man was doing to me. But he didn't believe me. He talked with my parents and they told him that I watched too many dramas and that I liked to invent things. So he believed them instead. Their word was above mine. Because they were the mature ones, and I was just an orphan picked up from the street. So, of course, everyone believed them.

And when I went to his house, he suddenly started to cry and beg me to forgive him. And it was annoying. About his apologies, I don't give a shit. I don't need them. It's too late for that. "

"So killing him was the answer for you? "

"Yes. But I don't think I killed him though."

"Almost." You said. "He didn't wake up yet."

"Good."

"He cares about you."

"Not enough it seems."

"I will not say that I understand you. Because I am not in your shoes. I can't imagine how hard it was for you. But sometimes people can change. There are some who loves you. "

"Like Mingyu. Like my father. Like Jin." Jungkook whispered, his eyes still closed as he came closer to you, searching for warmth.

"Your father and Jin didn't love you for real. That was a sick love. They were thinking only about themselves. They didn't care about your feelings," you said, looking at his face that was so close to yours.

You wanted to caress his head, to run your fingers through his ravishing hair but you didn't know if you were allowed.

"But Mingyu wasn't faking. He wanted to see you safe. He left everything behind just to take care of you. He told me that he was aware of how many mistakes he had made and how guilty he felt. Maybe it was too late, but he was still fighting to find a solution and bring you back.

And he isn't the only one who cares about you."

Jungkook opened his eyes at that, then he looked into your eyes.

"I don't believe you. From my point of view, love is something disgusting. And I don't want it."

"Because you were hurt by so many people. Those people told you that they loved you. But that wasn't love. "

"And how should I know that? Don't you understand? That love you are talking about, it's the only one I know and I lived with. Even if it's fake. That's the only one I recognize.

So no matter what you say, I will not believe you. "

"What about me? " You found yourself asking.

"What about you? "

"Do you believe that I want to hurt you? Do you believe that I have something to hide? Did you feel me try to take advantage of your illness?"

Jungkook didn't know how to answer to that. Pulling himself away from you, his eyes were still on your face.

"But you are attracted to me!"

"Yes. I will not deny that. But... it's something more than that. Than wanting you for myself, I want more to see you safe. I want you to be happy, no matter what makes you happy. But now you aren't. Not like this. No matter what you do, nothing would change the way you feel. It will be even worse. So do you think the answer is to kill everyone? Where all this hate will lead you? I will answer that for you...into an even darker place. Where you will always feel lonely, lost and scared. "

"And what other choice do I have? "

"Come with me and let me help you," you raised a trembling hand and caressed his cheek gently. Let me inside your heart just for a moment. And if you will feel that I am a bad person too, then take me out of there and throw me away."

"No." Jungkook shook his head in terror. "I will not let that happen. I don't want you close to me," he whispered as he pushed your hand away.

You felt him wanting to get up and run away. And you quickly said the first thing that came into your mind as you grabbed his hand tightly.

"Alright. I will leave you alone and never come in your way ever again. I promise. But only if you will let me hug you for the last time. Please? Would you do this for me? "

Jungkook saw your tears leaving your already puffy eyes, and he suddenly felt an impulse coming from inside of him to hug you. And he knew who that was.

He bit his lips as he made a step forward, wrapping his arms around your waist he hugged you tightly, his head placed on your shoulder.

He knew the feeling. He felt it so many times before when they hugged you. You felt warm and comfy and he couldn't help but breath you in as he buried his face into your neck.

You were crying as you hugged him back with all your might.

"I love you." You whispered. "And I am so sorry." You added the moment you pushed the serum into his neck.