Chapter: One -Stalker or Lover

Walking down 134th street hand in hand with my two best friends we head towards our favorite store, XVI. Determined to get a few new necessities we enter and halt as the a/c hits us like a punch of cold air getting rid of the July heat. As we embrace the cool air dancing across our bodies, we make our way through the racks of clothing. After only a few moments I find the perfect pair of hip huggers hanging on a clearance rack. Shuffling through the rest of the unwanted last-season clothes I grab a black tank and a few more items to try out. I rush over to the other side of the store to peer into the only available mirror. Running headfirst into a hard chest. Having lost my grip on everything due to shock, I bend down to retrieve my precious items. Looking from the corner of my eye at the man who seems to just be standing in front of me. I scan him from his black loafers to fitted black slacks and black button-down shirt left open to display the snug gray tee that clings to his muscular middle and broad shoulders. Muttering an apology under my breath I try to make my way around while clenching my newly retrieved items to my chest.

"Sorry I didn't hear you." His lips curl into a smirk as I realize there is no way past him. Huffing I say in a loud enough voice "I'm sorry I was not looking where I was going; Okay? Not like you couldn't move out of my way." Staring up into his eyes in defiance I quickly intake a breath to steady me. His face threatens to steal away all the air my lungs could hold and my sanity along with it. Breaking eye contact I search for anything else to look at.

"Can you move so I may pass?" I lower my voice back to nearly a whisper. My body quaking a little as it begins a chemical reaction to just how stunning this man is. He moves in close causing me to react; hairs standing on end, breath quickening and knees ready to buckle, as my stomach clenches with warmth and nausea.

"You may pass; Principessa" His voice comes out sweet and rough, coating me in its honey tones crashing into me like waves of unbridled lust. Gathering what little dignity I felt I had left I squeeze through the small space he afforded me. Taking solace in the corner mirror I peer at myself while riddled with emotions that did not fit me much like my new body. For months, I have worked on shedding the old me; the chubby girl that no one had found appealing. Running and sweating out the new slimmer, shapely version that stares back at me. My ample breasts and hips that refuse to get any smaller and my newly uncovered abdomen nearly flat, a body nearly an hourglass. The perfected body that has always been portraited as the epitome of beauty.

"That looks good" shaking me from my reverie I see Mari behind me taking in the jeans and blouse I have pressed against me. "So, what happened with you and Mr. Hot over there?" Winking and nodding her head over in his direction.

"Nothing and nothing will happen, nasty. First, he is rude. Second, he is like 25 years old minimum. Third, I don't know him and have no intention to." Rolling my eyes I say still in a huff. I turn from the mirror placing my unwanted items on the nearest rack as I leave in search of more.

I quickly find myself in the lingerie section staring at a delicate corset in the most beautiful baby blue color. Trailing its lacy, silk cups decorated with frills leading down to the bodice my fingers work their way to the hem and garters.

"Are you going to get that?" She eggs on.

"No, I have no one to wear it for." As the words leave my mouth, I know who I want to see me in it. As if drawn to him my eyes find him standing in a shaded corner. His smoldering gaze watching me as if I am the only one there. The only one worthy of his notice. The warmth I had felt before begins anew with an increased intensity overwhelming me with exotic fantasies.

As if in a dream, the lights turn dim and he gets closer. Soon we are but mere inches away from each other, his breath on my face like a kiss from a god. So wonderful, passionate, full of love and yet animalistic while being nothing more than air. As it lingers between us it captures my own breath within it mixing our scents into a concoction so sweet it threatens to devour me.

"You should get it anyway. Just in case you find someone worth the view." Smirking at me she walks away to look at daisy duke shorts. A bra dangling from one hand, the other swaying in rhythm with her hips. Looking over her shoulder she calls out "You know you've recently met someone you want to share it with" she says smugly.

My cheeks flame up and my face turns into a bright cherry tomato, eyes bulging out of my face as if I am a cartoon character off Bugs Bunny. Luckily, Ella appears next to me ready to ease my embarrassment with gentle words.

"Mari, did you get everything? Me and Soph are going to check out." Raising her normally soft, high voice to reach the vixen of the group. Looping her arm through mine we make our way down to the counter sans the devilish minx who continues her search for more accessories to accentuate her small seductive frame. Placing my items on the counter a glint of dark silver butterflies holding an amber gem set of earrings captures my attention.

"Is that all?" the cashier asks for what must be the fifth time. As she put the last of my things into the shopping bag.

"Yeah, that's it." Grabbing the bag filled with new clothes and shoes I turn to see the other girls waiting for me.

"I'm going to head out. I have to start getting ready for my date tonight." Smiling Mari gives us each a pert hug and walks away. Laughing to ourselves as we exit behind her Ella gives me a quick squeeze as well before heading off in the opposite direction to head home and care for her younger brother.

"I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah" watching her go, her shoulder length strawberry hair flying behind her as she runs to catch the bus. Her cherub face squinting in the sun light as she just barely makes it on with all her belongings.

Standing in the shade of XVI's awning I ponder if I should go back inside and buy the earrings when suddenly, I feel a presence. Turning I see Mr. Mystery man standing a little closer than comfortable.

"Why don't you get the earrings?" His voice assaults my body in the most delightful way. Trying with difficulty to hide my interest in him I turn to walk away. Saying over my shoulder "What earrings?"

"Do you mean to play games? The ones you longingly want from the counter." Walking in step with me he smiles down.

"No, I don't want them and even if I did, I can't afford it." Turning the corner, he follows me still.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" My body and mind start a fight instantly at the gall of him; one saying Yes, yes please!!! The other demanding, I respond with a firm NO!! Taking my time, I inhale deeply before replying.

"No, I'm having dinner with my family. Have a good evening and goodbye." Before I could leave the shade afforded to me by the many stores that lined the block to cross into the entrance of the train station, I feel a hand snake its way around my arm. Turning I look up at him with unbridled anger. How dare he grab me!

Smiling back as if we were the best of friends, he lets me go saying "Why in such a rush. Can you not stay out a little longer?"

"No, I cannot unlike the girls you must be used to; I have concerned parents at home waiting –

"How old are you?"

"Just turned Eighteen and you?" shoving my hand on my hips I wait for his lie.

"A couple years older." Cocking my eyebrow at his blatant bull.

"Like 25 ?" I let my sarcasm wash over him.

He chuckles and it sends butterflies into my stomach, my knees shaking ever so slightly and my heart pounding. How is that even possible to react in such a way?

"Around there" He finally gets out between laughs. Rolling my eyes, I walk away without hindrance.

Tossing around beneath my light covers I shoot up as panic races through my body. Grabbing hold of my chest I try to slow my breathing as I take a cursory glance around my room and settling on the clock directly across from me squinting I make out 10:30 Am. Throwing my covers off I run to retrieve the first outfit I can lay my fingers on. Heading straight for the bathroom and the cool water it provides. Splashing my face with ice cold water I throw on my shirt and hop into my jeggings while sliding on my flats. Catching myself against the sink as I lose my balance. A sigh of relief whistles through my lips. As I make my way to the front door, I hear my mom calling to me "Do you have money?" her voice tender, concerned.

"Yes" I say as gently as I can.

"I have some extra money if you need it." My once stubborn and strong mother stood before me looking small and shifty. I could tell the woman I loved and admired as a small child was still in there buried beneath the trauma. Taking hold of her hand, I give her a big kiss and hug "Thanks mom" I smile back at her while grabbing the money and walking out the door. Sometimes I still wish I could curl up with her, sooth away her sadness and fear. I hate walking away from her. I hate the way things for us ended up becoming. I know I could never really leave her but, I also cannot stay with her trapped in this house. As I hit the bottom of the stairs, I rush out of the building into the already blinding light of the sweltering summer day and run down to my bank.

"Hello Miss. How may I help you?" An older woman asks from behind the glass teller window. A plastic smile pasted on her face; her customer service smile it reads.

"I want to make a deposit." Looking around I pray he doesn't see me. Just like I do every time I walk into this institution.

"Do you have a slip?" she asks keeping her persona in check.

"No, I don't." I say sheepishly. My arms folded in; hand rubbing my arm causing it to go red with irritation.

"What is your account number?" she states plainly unfazed as if this happens to her a million times a day.

Shifting my weight back and forth I reply "I don't know it off the top of my head. Can you go by my name?"

"Yes, miss we can." Typing in a blur she asks, "and what is your first and last name?"

"Sophie Ortiz" I rock some more, as my fingers begin to scratch into my delicate flesh.

"And which account will we be putting this into? Your college? Savings? Or personal with the subheading of rent?"

"Rent please" Sliding the hundred dollars through the slot. Nervously I look around and out the windows for the fifth time, I continue to hope he will not stumble upon me. For years I have been accumulating funds for everything I might need. Having started work at the tender age of 7 years old I used to hide my earnings under my pillow. Quickly I realized I could not hide anything in that house. Every time I would try, He would find it and squander it. At 8 I came to this bank with my dad's best friend opening my first savings account. By 10 I had saved several hundred dollars and started considering saving for different things for my future, such as a college fund. Now, eight years later I had three accounts and thousands of dollars squirreled away where only I could access it.

"Here you go miss. Have a good day." Snapping back into the present I take my receipt and leave just in time to run out the door to the bus stop and step onto the Bx 14 bus. Shortly after I cross the street from the train I had transferred to, to the McDonalds my brothers work at. Stepping inside my eyes take a second to adjust to the dimmer artificial lighting and spot my friends hovered in a booth in the farthest corner of the room. Having already ordered their food I walk up as they are stuffing a bunch of fries into their mouths.

"Hey, order me anything?" I ask as I take a seat next to my sweet Ella. Her Music could be heard clearly even though the headphone is embedded into her ear. I attempt to grab a fry but am swatted away by Mari. Always, looking for a quick spat and a way to claim leadership (rather superiority) of the group she spits out "No, we didn't know if you were going to make it out today." From the corner of my eye I can feel Ella go on guard. Her red hair falling in front of her face as she puts in her other headphone trying to keep out of the dominance dance. Thinking back, I miss the days I first met Ella. She was always so excited and happy. Her emerald eyes would shine with pure exuberance. She was full of energy and defiance. That is till I introduced her to Marisela. Marisela and I go back since birth. Our mothers were close friends until my mom re-married and everything changed. Luckily, Mari never left me, and I never left her. However, as the youngest of her siblings she often lacked the voice in decision making for herself and the attention she so desperately needs. When Ella joined us, Mari decided we needed a leader and she would be that. Squelching any rebuttal that might come from Ella or me. I though am not as easily beaten down as Ella but, often just give in to keep the peace.

"I'll just get my own." Getting up I can see Ella start to ease up and come out of her safe place; probably a place where Mari is sweeter. Making it to the counter it isn't long before it is my turn.

"Can I take your order?" My brother says as I reach the counter.

"Hey, can I get a number 9"

Pulling out a larger cup from behind the counter, he practically slams it down.

"Woah! You okay?" I jump back a bit from sheer shock.

"No. Dad is acting weird and things are really getting out of control." He lowers his voice so no one around will hear his shame.

"Are you staying in the dorms?" I ask knowing just how bad life can be with a raging alcoholic.

"Not so much lately. Trying to be home with my mom. Don't want her to deal with it herself." He shakes his bowed head.

"Yeah, but if its stressing you guys out maybe time away from him is better. Have her go to her uncles and you go to the dorms." Looking back at me he sighs with a reluctant "yeah"

"So, how are things with you going?" his voice is hopeful.

"It's okay for now. He hasn't been home in a few weeks so." I smile up at him while taking my cup. I head over to the Iced tea fountain and spot a familiar figure from my periphery. My heart starts to hammer as I commit myself to ignoring his presence. If only I was better at it and could not notice him look at me multiple times. Causing my pulse to act erratic.

"So, what's up?" sitting back down, I sip on my sweet drink and ask the table.

"Not much, although last night was wonderful. Jeff and I went to dinner then we went to the movies and made out the entire time." Mari's eyes sparkled with lusty love; Ella and I could only look at each other and roll our eyes. We have seen this before; Mari is a man eater, but she will never admit it. She loves to get close to the boys in our school and develop a short-term relationship with them but once they consummate it the poor boy is a goner.

"How about you Ella?" pulling up a chair my brother, Jacob sits down handing over my food and joins in the conversation.

"No, n-nothing. Th-there's no o-one." She stammers as her eyes dart between my brother and the table. "How about you Soph?" Ella asks gathering her courage to change the topic over to me. "Nothing either." I let my face drop to the table as my eyes wonder around the room beneath my lengthened lashes, looking for the most handsome man I have ever seen. A man a part of me wishes I had said yes to. Finally, I catch a glimpse of him and pick my head up slightly for a better look soon locking eyes with him. It's as if the world around us becomes blurred around the edges and the only thing that I can see is him, the only thing I can hear is my pulse pounding in my ears. "Soph" His lips quirk up in a smirk as if he knows his effect on me.

"Sophie" I grimace as the outside world starts to invade our little bubble. "Sophie!" Mari yells nearly in my ear. "What?!" I yell back embarrassed that I was caught zoned out staring out into space or worse that they might know who I was staring at.

"If I didn't know any better it looked as if you were entranced again. Could it be you are thinking of Mr. Hotty from yesterday." She states it more like it is a fact than a question and I am utterly flabbergasted that she would bring up the subject of a guy in the presence of my older brother.

"I don't know what you are talking about Mari but, if I was to meet a Mr. Hotty with you, I'm sure you would have claimed dibs anyway." I state simply hoping my brother would take the truth of that statement and leave. My brother leaves soon after and the rest of our conversation continues with no more incidents.

As we are getting ready to leave Mari comes up to me and says "So, the cutie in the corner is not the guy from yesterday? And even if he is, I have dibs?" She laughs as she walks out the door. Walking out after her I ignore the pull I have towards him, the need to talk to him to see what he was doing there. To see if it was only a coincidence that he happened to be at the same store as me. Making my way to Grand Central Station to the 4 train I set a quick pace to make it through the big hallways and to the train on time. As I settle into luckily an empty car, I lean my head back and close my eyes for a moment until I hear footsteps. Looking up I see him coming closer and taking a seat next to me. I turn slowly "Are you following me?" I accuse.

"Maybe, just a little. I want to get to know you. To take you out on a date." He takes my hand in his bringing it up to his lips. "I know we do not know each other. So, my name is Sebastian." I swear he can feel my heart beating through my fingertips pressed into his hand as he kisses my wrist next.

Panicked I reply "No, I'm sorry I can't." taking my hand from his I stand up and walk toward the other side of the car.

"Okay, then how about we get to know each other now and you can give it some thought. I'm not going to give up on a beautiful, amazing young woman as yourself." The heat of his words colored my cheeks and I was sure he was telling the truth about not giving up. He seems like a stubborn man but, I am a stubborn woman and I can't get close to anyone else. As the train comes to a stop, I get ready to bolt. I can feel him behind me but since we had been on the last train car, I wait till the train is getting ready to move again before jumping back into the front car. Sliding in just as the doors are closing on his sweet, handsome face. I felt a tinge of sadness that he did not make it and I would not be subject to another round of his pleading were maybe just maybe my head would allow me to give into him.

Walking into my house I could sense he is there; the smell of evil assaults my nose as I open the door. Jimmy my stepfather a man so foul that I honestly believe hell spit him out just to torment us on earth.

"Hey, beautiful." He slurs in his drunken state. His breath scented with a mixture of beer and rum, not the best combination. Made me want to upchuck my lunch. His slicked back hair greased with gel and probably two weeks' worth of unwashed oil. His eyes match his hair pure deep Black which had always bothered me. His corneas permanently blood shot from the consistent alcohol he guzzles down.

"Hi, Jimmy. What are you doing here?" I say letting my hate for him seep into my words as I make a move to get around him but, his hand shoots out and grabs hold of my arm.

"I'm not through with you! Where's my diner?" he spits into my face. I don't dare back down. "Did you make it" I say back in defiance. He raises his other hand but my mother walks in and he lets me go walking away cursing about how ungrateful I am. Without looking back, I go to my room lock the door and lie down. I must get out of here; I can't stay like this. I have to go for a run. My mind made up I quickly change into leggings and a tank while throwing on a pair of battered sneakers and leave my room for a late-night run.

Waking up after essentially sprinting five miles I can feel my muscles ache in protest. Quickly I make my way over to the hottest shower of my life and just stand beneath the spray allowing my muscles to relax under the relentless pressure of the nozzle. Once my skin is pruned beyond hope I finely leave the hot cocoon and get ready for the day.

"Hey, Soph. You ready to go?" I had just made it to my friend Gina's house when she started to usher me out the door reminding me about our plans of hitting up the stores. I nod my affirmation with little else to do. We make our way from store to store looking over what they have to offer until we make it to a quaint store Brandy's that showcases lots of jewelry and under clothes. I do not feel too interested in buying anything, but it was the only time I could be with her before she went back to New Jersey.

"So, you were telling me about this man you met- "she probes hoping I will continue telling her about Sebastian. The need to get it all out had been building over the past few days. "It really is nothing. I just have a small crush on a man I met at XVI and he has been following me and asking me out for the past couple of days and even though it's a little scary; he intrigues me and I cannot get him out of my mind. He is romantic and persistent and when I look into his eyes it is like we are the only two people in the world. Part of me just wishes I could run my hand down his chest and kiss him. To have him hold me t- "suddenly I feel him behind me, my cheeks color with my embarrassment and I start a silent prayer that he did not hear me. Gina takes notice of my rose-colored cheeks and looks up from my face to see Sebastian standing behind me.

"Is he 6'2" with long curly hair in front of his face? Almost angelic looking yet rough?" I nod and she smiles her approval. Turning to face my shame I ask, "How much did you hear?" my voice quivering as it comes out small and childlike.

"Enough to know how you truly feel about me." He smirks at me. His ego clearly inflating with every word he heard. Annoyed with his reaction I start walking away yelling back to my friend "Gina I have to go!" I can again feel him coming after me, so I bolt out the store and across the street only looking back when I no longer feel him behind me. I see him standing at the entrance of the store just in the shade. Turning away from him once more, I make my way to the train. Once in the car I lean back and close my eyes prepared to give myself a mental lashing. Instead of my mental tirade and shame flooding me all I can feel are Sebastian's hands. My eyes languidly open as the warmth from his body spread from his touch; one hand on my face and the other on my neck. I know what he is going to do but I don't care anymore. My mind has shut down and my body welcomes him in every form he will give me. His lips touch mine and it's like I have never lived before this moment; before the minty scent of him. I open my lips welcoming him, begging him to let me taste the mint on my tongue and he obliges with a growl vibrating from the back of his throat. His hands slip down to the buttons on my shirt as mine grab at the lapels on his. Grabbing at him, bringing him closer, wanting to be flush with him and feel his rock-hard body against my soft one. I can feel each button slip open as he makes his way down and my mind quickly wakes up with the release of each one. I scream in my head please no, please I do not want to stop but, just as the fourth button is released my mind awakens and panics. My eyes snap open and the dream recedes from my mind and body. My skin once warmed by his touch now cold and bereft. My lips still feel bruised from our kissing and when I look down my shirt is indecently unbuttoned. Quickly before the train comes to a stop at the following station I rebutton my shirt and straighten myself out feeling quite embarrassed. In my Eighteen years of life I had never had such a naughty dream in a public setting and never so strong that I unconsciously acted it out. Red faced I sit as small and unnoticeable in my seat as possible until I reach my stop.

Walking through the maze to my house I feel a presence behind me. Worried about bringing home yet another dangerous being I take a detour to the only person I know that would not mind being placed in danger; My bio-dads best friend. My bio-father is a retired cop and so is his best friend. They worked together for several years when I was a baby and Derek just took a shine to me. Even after he stopped approving of what my father did and hanging out with him, he stood in my life and helped me navigate it as best as he could. He even offered to let me live with him as an alternative to the crappy life I lived now. However, we both knew I would never leave my mom, could never leave my mom. Finally, at Derek's door I slide behind the fichus where there is a secret compartment and a hidden key. I make my way into the house and drop the key on the entrance hall table while making myself known.

"Derek! Derek! Are you here?" I can hear a clamor and stumbling coming from the back in the living room and start to make my way towards the noise.

"Sophie?! Is that you? What brings you here?" He calls as we meet each other in the hallway just outside the dining room.

"Hey Derek. I think someone is following me and I didn't feel safe going home so I thought I would come over and hang out for a little while if you don't mind." I give him my best, biggest, round puppy dog eyes and pouty lips.

"A heads up would have been nice but, of course you are welcomed to hang here until we are sure it's safe for you to go home- or you are always welcomed to spend the night here…" he says tentatively. He is never one to step on toes but Derek definitely prefers knowing I am safe and the only way he ever feels that way is when I am far away from my house and even better when I spend the night at his. "You know what why don't we have some Iced Tea while you think about it."

"I would love some Iced Tea." I reply trying to wiggle out of any commitment to spending the night. I already feel bad bringing someone to his house, I do not need the added guilt of leaving my mom to face my demon stepfather by herself. It is not like my brother will step in and help her. I can count on one hand the amount of times my brother has gotten in the middle of the two of them and even worse what if my brother does not come home at all. Then my mother will be all by herself with no one to help at all. As if he could read my thoughts Derek hands me a glass and with a sympathetic face says "Honey, everything is going to be alright. A couple of hours here is not going to endanger her and your mother is a lot stronger than you think she is. Take this time to relax. This is not the first night you have stayed away from the house if you choose to and it will not be the last. Just don't think you have to be her shield."

I know he is saying the truth but all I want to do is walk away. Walk away from the blatant facts of his words and how they make my skin itch.

"Yeah, I know." I mumble back with my lips around the rim of my glass as I timidly take a sip of my Iced Tea.

The rest of the time there we quietly watch tv and talk about how much I am looking forward to my senior year of high school in a month. We talk about how much I enjoyed my birthday that had just passed not two weeks prior and how I put half the money I received away and have been using the rest to buy what I need for school. By the end we are both smiling and had a decent time together.

Once I get to my house I practically run to my bedroom and lay down on my four-poster bed. I have just enough energy to kick off my shoes into the middle of my room and fling my red quilt on top of me. I turn over onto my stomach and lay directly in the middle of my full-size bed.

He's on top of me, pulling my covers off slowly as if I am a present that he savors revealing. His hands push back my curly hair and starts to kiss my forehead down my cheek and jaw line to my lips. Smiling against his I feel his warmth seep into me and for the first time in this house I feel safe and secure. Slowly I start returning his kisses turning onto my back to get a better taste of him. My hands of their own accord reach out to him and find his shoulders, sliding down slightly to his hard pectorals and around to his muscled back. Frustrated that there is a barrier between my hands and his bare skin I whimper into his mouth as he chuckles back at me. Slowly he unbuttons his shirt never once breaking our heated kiss and just as he is about to shrug off his shirt my mind screams NO! Shooting up in bed out of breath and longing my eyes dart around the pitch-black room for him. My only light the orange glow coming through the window being emitted by the streetlights below. I can barely make out my white closet doors that hide my dresser, tv and two racks of clothes. Leaning in the corner of one of the closet doors is my broken-down shoe rack filled with about 12 pairs of new and old broken shoes. For the main part my room is empty. I never really bought anything or decorated my room. I did not want anything that Jimmy could steal. Even the jewelry I do have is hidden away in a safe Derek gave me that goes in one of my drawers as a false bottom. Seeing no one in the room, the dream starts to fade and with it the safety and heat Sebastian had given me. Yet, another naughty dream but this one did not fill me with embarrassment. I can still feel the tingles low in my belly at the thought of his lips on mine. How he captured me in those passionate kisses and what I would give to have that dream start again. Settling back down I pull the covers back up over me and slip into a restful sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

My eyes slowly open to the sounds of my alarm blaring on the windowsill next to me. With nowhere to go and nothing important to do I throw on some raggedy clothes and start cleaning my house starting with my room since it's in the back of the house. Once I'm done I do the hallway that leads to my brothers room but do not bother to go in and clean it knowing that He is either in there asleep or already gone for the day and would kill me for invading his privacy. As I make my way down the hallway sweeping up all the dust and bits of garbage, I make it to my parents' room to the left of me. I continue right past it not wanting to see if anyone was inside or disturbing them if they are. A little bit further and I am at the bathroom and I head inside sweeping everything out to join the bigger pile into the hallway. I keep this up until I have swept and mopped the house. As I am putting away the broom and mop my mother comes out of her room and whispers "Here I want you to go and get yourself some stuff for school. I know it's not much but-" I can see her holding back a few tears and take hold of her hand.

"Thanks mom" I give her a peck on the cheek and pocket the cash. Unable to look at my mom in her saddened state I quickly go to my room to change; letting her know I will leave immediately to get some stuff.

Walking into XVI the a/c blasts me with its icy air clearing me of the end of July heat. Wondering through the Aisles in search of boots I end up face first into a hard chest nearly falling onto the floor yet again for the second time in this store in the matter of two weeks. I don't even need to look up to know whose chest it belongs to. Instead I just say, "You never quit, do you?"

"Not when I have so much on the line." His voice is raw, emotional as if I have the same effect on him as he has on me. The same longing, butterfly inducing nausea that intensifies the closer we are. Gulping I ask, "what do you have on the line?" I bite at my thumb nail and he places his hand on mine pushing my finger from my mouth.

"The chance of getting to know you. One of the most beautiful, loyal, and loving young women I have ever met." His eyes shine and his hand clasps mine gently bringing me closer to him.

"Okay, I will go out with you." I swallow back the enormous amount of saliva that had settled into my mouth looking at him. His sexiness, his persona all made me nervous and excited all at the same time.

"Great lets go!" He practically yells over his shoulder as he turns and pulls me after him.

"Where are we going?!" I shriek back at him in my nervous confusion. My feet barely moving fast enough to keep up with him as he walks me out the store and along the borders of the surrounding stores to the corner. Where he pulls up his hood from his hoodie under his leather jacket and tells me to get into the car. I hear the click but gape at the realization that he means the Mercedes that is directly in front of us. My head starts to scream do not get into that car. You still barely know this man. Before I can change my mind, I race around the car and get into the passenger side. Before buckling though I take a quick survey of my surroundings hoping to make sure I do not find rope, or a shovel, or any other types of killer belongings. He quietly watches me as I twist and turn around in my seat taking in the clean leather interior and rear makeup mirrors. Only to then turn forward and glide my hand over the paneling to feel a few "secret" compartments and accidently bring up the keypad on the touch screen under the cd slot.

"Ready to go?" he asks intrigued by my boldness. He a lots me more time watching closely to see if I feel safe in his car or not.

"Yeah, where are we going?" I ask buckling my seat belt and lean back into the soft leather seat. I want to bring my knees up in the chair and hug them like a little girl, but I am an adult now going on my very first date ever. Instead I look out the window as we start driving and I faintly hear him say where we are going.

"It's cool that your windows are tinted. I feel like we are celebrities on our way to an event or something." Looking over we smile at each other and his only response is to take my hand kiss it and say, "You are far more important than a celebrity."

We ride in the car for about fifteen minutes before we pull into the parking garage of a restaurant called Al's Steak House.

"This is my friend's establishment and I love eating here. They have a wonderful selection of food and don't worry about anything." He tells me as he grabs my hand and walks me towards the underground entrance. Knowing this just makes me feel even more nervous, it's like I'm meeting my boyfriend's family without having a boyfriend and being on the very first date just getting to know him. We enter and immediately seat ourselves in the back corner of the dimly lit classy restaurant. Placing my napkin on my lap I sit quietly looking down unsure what to expect. The waitress appears a few moments after we seat ourselves with menus and a wine list.

"Hi, you must be a newcomer. My name is Erica and I will be your waitress today. I will give you a moment to look over the menu. Would you like water and something else to drink?" She asks with a painted-on smile as she takes out her pad and pen. She almost seems nice with her British accent. Her shoulder length blonde hair settling around her shoulders. Her uniform consists of a red clingy shirt that showcase her healthy bosom and tight black jeans are covered in the front by a gray apron. She looks to be in her early twenties with her bright red lip gloss and manicured nails.

"I'll have the usual." Sebastian says dryly handing over his menu without even glancing at her. I quickly scan the menu and settle instead on having a burger with mashed potatoes and a ginger ale. I hand back my menu and look at her and Sebastian's body language. It's clear they once had a relationship and she is still very interested in him. She may be trying to keep her face unreadable, but everything sang clearly through her eyes. However, Sebastian on the other hand is very clearly doing his best to dismiss her. He was either over her or doing his best not to let me know about their past fling; either way I am not sure which one bothered me more. When she goes to take our orders into the back, I ask him as demurely as possible "So, you two know each other?"

"yeah, we are old friends." He replies in a monotone voice, never once taking his eyes off me. Our conversation halts until our food and drinks arrive. He tells me a little about his family and what he does now, a lawyer in the city. When the conversation takes its inevitable turn to me, I become hesitant sharing about my life. I do not want to tell him about my messed-up home life and receive pity stares. Its why I had always stayed away from dating, well a part of the reason why. Who wants to date the fat girl who disappears several weeks out of the school year without an explanation or even worse you know the explanation and cannot do anything? In the end I tell him about my family's name and where we live. I tell him that I live with my mother, stepfather, and older brother. I tell him how I have worked three jobs since I was eleven. It was starting to get late when we finally finish with our meal and I let him know I should be heading home.

"Before we leave, I have something for you." He says with a Cheshire smile. He takes a velvet box out of his inner jacket pocket and slides it across the table. "Consider it a late birthday present." He continues egging me on to take the box and see what is inside. With trembling hands, I grab the box and raise the lid to find the earrings from the first day we met at XVI. The dark sterling silver catches the light as my eyes take in the butterflies that grasp a ruby to their bodies.

"They are beautiful, thank you but, I cannot accept this." I state matter of factly placing the box back down in front of him on the table. Without a second thought or hesitation at all he turns the box back around and says "of course you can. They are only as precious as you are and will only serve to bring out your own unique beauty. Please keep them and on our next date wear them." His eyes plead with me, his smile encouraging me, and his hand place the box in mine. I cannot argue with such an eloquently said speech and so I take the box and place it in my bag.

Reaching my house, he walks me up to my door. He gives me a kiss on my cheek both overwhelming me with a sense of warmth and excitement along with disappointment. He watches me as I walk inside a bit dazed from my first ever date and kiss from a man that was interested in me. I make my way to my room half blind, unable to register anything but the lingering feel of his lips on my cheek. I swear I will never wash my cheek if I can keep this feeling. I finally make it to my room and plop across my bed staring at the ceiling recalling images of the two of us and all of our encounters. I turn and stare out of my window at the orange glow of the streetlight outside only to find a bat perched on the outer sill of my window. Its black velvety face so precious and sweet. Crawling over to the pane I stare back at him and whisper reverently "Goodbye my Sebastian, goodbye my love." I can't believe I said it even if it is just to a bat, but it still feels right. I kiss the window near its face and in response it squeaks back and fly away. Suddenly I become very sleepy; crawling back over to my pillow I place my head back down and drift off to sleep.

He came through the window waking me with soft kisses all down my face, neck, and collar bone. I moan softly as he pulls me up, so we are facing each other as he resumes kissing me this time on my lips where I had so desperately wanted him to kiss me this evening. His hands glide down my arms rubbing me lightly creating goosebumps with each pass before he reaches out for my breast. Cupping my DD that seem to fit so perfectly in his hand, his thumb brushes gently over my nipple while his other hand reaches for the zipper of my sweater that I had fallen asleep in. Unzipping me we let the thin material fall to the bed. I wrap my arms around his neck to leverage myself, I raise up onto my knees, so I am higher than him allowing my long-curled hair to curtain our faces. Our kisses become deeper and more passionate as I begin to press myself more and more into him wanting to feel every inch of his body flush against mine. I can feel his hands wrap around my waist grabbing my butt holding me as he pushes back against me. As one of his hand moves around the band of my pants my mind wakes up and screams No! Not there! Not now! My eyes snap open as I fall face first onto my bed. "What the?!" I say to no one in particular. Sitting up I look around and again I don't see him there. Yet, another vivid dream that my body has decided to 'sleepwalk'. Looking behind me, I see my sweater laying on the bed and pick it up to hang it in the closet and get changed for bed.

Waking up the following morning I am exhausted and late; without showering I throw on some yoga pants and a t-shirt leaving for my brothers' job. Running out the front doors the first thing to hit me is the wind lashing at my eyes. Throwing my hands up in defense I make my way to the bus running like a bullet through the gust. My overgrown bangs whipping around my face flying out of my messy bun, consisting of my golden brown midback length hair. I make it to the bus after a series of mazes just in time to load and feed the beast my money. The bus ride is short to my transfer, the 4 train to get to the right McDonalds that my twin brothers work at.

Entering I see both Jacob and Benjamin working the counter in their green label shirt, black pants, and visor. After a few minutes we catch each other's eye and they nod me over to our table with a look that spoke of promised food. I walk over seating myself in the plastic booth feeling the cool plastic through my t-shirt chilling me a bit along with the a/c they have running on high to combat the now high temperature of August. Peering around to pass the time I see Sebastian in the farthest corner of the store away from all the windows near the fountain machine. Looking back over at my brothers I notice they still have quite the line before they will be able to come over and spend time with me. So, I get up and walk over to Sebastian and demand what he is doing here.

"I came by for a quick snack and something to drink." His lips upturn with a smirk and I have a hard time believing that is the only reason he is here.

"So, it is just a coincidence we are here at the same time." I accuse a little less firmly, unsure about what he is up to.

"It is just a coincidence, Principessa" He claims taking my hand in his with a soft touch and brings it to his lips placing a sweet kiss to the inside of my wrist.

"Okay, well I'm spending some time with my brothers, so I won't be over here. I guess I will see you around." I reply feeling a little off kilter after that interaction. Walking away I cannot help but to keep looking back at him but when I make it back to the table, I see my brothers are already there and looking at me expectantly.

"Hey Soph"

"Hey, Sophie" they say in unison their eyes darting back and forth between me and what I can only imagine to be Sebastian.

"H-he-ey guys." I reply as nonchalantly as I can muster. According to their faces they do not believe it.

"Who's the man?" Benjy asks with a bit of an attitude clearly not happy that I have a new man in my life. The twins have always been protective of me when it came to me liking a guy but never had to worry about me dating before. This is new territory for all of us.

"I think he is my new boyfriend." I say while shuffling my feet.

"OH, HECK NO!" they say in union again, Benjy jumping up from his seat and Jacob slamming his fist down on the table. Their disgust clear on their faces as their noses scrunch up and their eyebrows crease. Benjy grabs my arm to make me look at him and demands from me "What the hell are you thinking? You want to get killed or worse?" I look him right in his eyes in pure defiance unable to believe that he would think I could be so stupid to choose someone that would be bad for me.

"Look he is a great guy who makes me happy and I think I'm falling for him. In the long run isn't my happiness more important than the few years he has on me. It's not like I'm a child, I'm 18 years old." I state haughtily.

"You may be a fresh adult, but it doesn't mean you are old enough to have an adult relationship like he is." Benjy spits out so quickly that I almost fall back from the verbal whip lash. I look towards Jacob with pleading eyes knowing he might understand since he has a girlfriend my age. Jacob just looks away signaling he is unwilling to assist me against his twin and so I am stuck sticking up for myself.

"I am sorry you two are against my relationship, but it is not going to stop me from seeing him. I really like him, and I want to see where this relationship is going to go. Honestly, you can either accept it or not, but he is going to be a part of my life for the time being." I practically stomp my foot down on the floor to punctuate my statement. Benjy infuriated by the way I am acting just walks away and goes back to work while Jacob gets up and hands me a velvet box. I open it to find a slender ring with a turquoise gem in the center. It looks almost like a class ring but on the inside, it is engraved with Ortiz Family. I can feel the tears start to prick the back of my eyes as I bite my tongue to hold them in. I had seen rings similar to these on the family members on my father's side but had never been privy to one myself. It was all I could ever ask for to be fully included into their circle not just talked to.

"That is why we invited you over here today. We wanted to give you one." A small tear escapes down my cheek and I wipe it away with the back of my hand before using the same hand to place the ring on my finger.

"I'm sorry Jacob, let us just enjoy today please." I choke out before more tears fall.

"Sure" he chuckles awkwardly feeling a bit uncomfortable with my raw emotion at his job. I sit back down and wait as he goes and gets Benjy again so we can hang out a bit more before I have to go and they have to officially go back to work.

Back at home all I want to do is lie down and watch some tv. Plopping onto the futon I pick up the remote and put the tv on the Disney channel hoping to catch something that will relieve my stress and make me feel small and innocent. Something I have never truly felt since my stepfather came into my life at four years old.

"You watch kids shows?" he says incredulously with a chuckle. I stiffen in my seat as I turn my head to see Sebastian leaning against the entrance wall to the living room.

"Yeah, it makes me feel all innocent…" I taper off unsure where else to go, feeling silly now being caught watching a cartoon after just having an argument about being an adult. He walks over to me and sits down on the uncomfortable futon right beside me.

"Who let you in?" I ask barely able to breathe knowing how close he is and with the knowledge that we are probably alone in the house.

"Your mother." He whispers as he leans in closer staring into my eyes. My breathing hitches as the thought of his lips finally on mine consumes me. The idea of finding out if my dreams measure up to reality.

"wh-where is she by the way?" I stammer out still barely able to get a full breath in, with a hard swallow.

"Left with what I can assume to be your stepfather." He says in his honey tone as his lips finally brush mine, causing my heart to jump in response. Before I could deepen it, open up to him and truly capture his lips he leans back looking me in my eyes and says, "are you sure."

"Yes" I breathe back to him. Without a second notice his lips are back on mine and we are finally kissing like in my dreams. It is exactly how I imagined it, the taste of him is the same minty, coppery taste. I feel myself starting to go backwards as he leans against me and my mind starts railing against me. I break off from the kiss much to my own disappointment and insist that we take things slow. "I love kissing you but, I'm not ready to do anything else just yet. I'm sorry." I blush red knowing I must sound a bit childish. Even Ella had lost her virginity and Mari was sleeping with several guys a year. I just can't bring myself to give it away when I can barely date. He grabs my chin and forces my head up until our eyes lock and tells me with all the patience in the world "It's okay. We can go as slow as you want. I love kissing you as well and if that's all you are comfortable doing right now that is fine Principessa." He punctuates his statement with a peck on my nose. "So, what would you like to do?" he asks politely as he rearranges himself.

"Why don't we talk." I decide why not take this extra time to get to know him a bit better.

"What would you like to talk about?" He places his arm around my shoulders and brings me in close into the nook of his arm.

"Your childhood" I say in hopes that he will start telling me so much about him that he will not ask about me or what he might have seen while here.

"How about we talk about yours." He quickly states with a smirk trying to turn the tables.

"Why don't we watch tv." I say grabbing the remote again and start to flip through the channels.

"Okay, but adult shows only okay." He says mockingly with a few chuckles.

"Ha ha very funny." I give him a gentle smack with the back of my hand. "How do you feel about psych?" Looking up at him I know all I want are his lips back on me and take a big gulp of the accumulated saliva in my mouth before it could make its way out.

"Love it." He smiles down at me, giving me a small peck on my forehead. My lips turn down in a frown wishing it had been a kiss on my lips. I know he is trying to respect my wishes of going slow, but I did say I love kissing. As we settle in together hands clasp, my head on his shoulder and our eyes firmly glued to the 40-inch tv. A couple of episodes into the psych marathon my eyes become heavy and I am unable to keep them open.

Groaning my eyes barely flicker open as the light from my window blinds me. "oww!"

"Sophie! You okay?!" I hear Sebastian running over to me.

"Sebastian?" I ask confused "What are you doing here? What time is it?" I start spitting out questions worried about what happened? why don't I remember getting into bed? and why am I in bed naked? Clutching my sheets around me Sebastian finally sits down on my bed and starts answering.

"I stood over last night after you fell asleep on my shoulder. I brought you to bed fully clothed and then talked with your mom when she returned home without your stepfather. She said since it was so late, I could spend the night on the couch and leave in the morning." He says it all so calmly as if it is such a normal thing to say. As if staying over in your new girlfriend's house who just became an adult is an everyday occurrence.

"uhmm, what time is it?" I say shaken by all the information I have just received and the thought that I have technically spent the night with my boyfriend under the same roof as me.

"11 am" he tells me gently obviously able to see that I am quite spooked.

"I have to get dressed and you have to go." I say trying to get up and shoo him out panicking while keeping my sheet around me, covering myself.

"Okay, I'll be in the kitchen." He says purposefully ignoring that I basically kicked him out of not just my room but my house. Without answering I close the door behind him and lock it sliding down to the floor exacerbated. Taking a few moments on the floor I contemplate the night and remember how in the middle of it I felt so heated I stripped down before getting beneath my light grey sheets. As the revelation dawns on me the anxiety I was feeling starts to lessen. I get myself off the floor to walk over to my closet, grab a summer mini boho dress and pull it over my head while sliding on black leather strap sandals. Walking out a few minutes later I am prepped, glammed, and ready to leave with the sweet handsome man that took care of me as I slept. Entering the Kitchen, I strike a pose and say, "You ready to spend a day together?" with a wink I try my best at sexy. Looking up at me I see a smile spread across his lips yet again as he gets up from our small tan topped and green legged dining room table replying, "oh, yeah Principessa"

Leaving we go back to Al's Steak House and return to the same seats we were in the first time we came here. "You really like it here. In this spot. Let me guess ordering the same thing. Ha?" I ask looking at him through my lashes. Part of me was being sarcastic but another part was being profoundly serious. The serious part needed to know if he came here cause his friend owned it or because Erica worked here.

"Yes, we are all family here and I really would love it if you could get acquainted with my friends." He lets me know sincerely, taking my hands in his rubbing soothing circles arounds the pressure points between my pointers and thumbs.

"Hello again! Here are your menus. Do you know what you would like to drink?" Erica the waitress from the first time strolls over to the table and hands us our menus. Taking out her pad and pen to take our drink orders. Dismissively in the driest tone I can muster I reply, "We will have the same thing as the other day." She scribbles down our orders and leaves with her head high and a pout that I, a stranger would treat her so rudely.

"What was that about?" Sebastian inquires with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"Nothing just tired of the way she was acting." I state while withdrawing my hands from his and placing my napkin in my lap. Instead of asking more questions he just chuckles softly to himself and reaches out to take my hands again. Pretty soon afterwards she brings out our drinks. I take a tentative sip from mine to find that it tastes a little more like seltzer than normal ginger ale but in the end decide I am not going to raise a fuss. I just place the cup a little further away from me and stare up into the eyes of the man that is choosing me to date, to be with.

"You don't like it?" He asks stretching this pointer towards the glass of ginger ale, tapping the rim.

"It's fine. Just want to save some for lunch." I lie through my teeth. Hoping he has not picked up on any of my tells yet. Shortly after Erica returns with our orders placing each of them down with care in front of us. Giving us both a smile but only giving Sebastian a clear view of her breasts in her black tight, low cut shirt. To his credit Sebastian keeps his eyes fix on his food only lifting them to look up straight at me to smile as if he is completely unaware of the pair of breasts just to the right of his vision. Maybe his periphery is exceptionally good, and he can see her chest without so much as looking her way or maybe, just maybe he cannot be bothered by her blatant show of her assets. Maybe he likes the fact that I want to take things slow and that I am a virgin. That although I have never expressly told him that fact he does somehow in fact know it. Pushing aside all of it, I take a few tentative bites of my food after Erica decides to leave with as much dignity as she can after being so thoroughly ignored by Sebastian. I wash my spoonful down with just a few sips of my ginger ale even though something nags me in the back of my mind. The world begins to spin as if I am in a tilt-a-whirl at the carnival. I place both hands on the tabletop in hopes it will help steady me, but it isn't my body that is spinning it is my mind and its perception of the world.

"Sophie? Are you okay?!" Sebastian's voice drips with concern. I can almost feel his need to reach out to me and make sure everything is kosher.

"No, I'm sorry I don't feel well. I think I need to go home." I state as calmly as I can muster. While, inside I can barely contain my own hysterics. He looks around with an angry face and mutters something inaudible. He finally comes around to my side as he notices me trying to get up on my own; a failing attempt to get the heck out of there and back to my bed.

"Please Soph allow me." He just pleads barely getting the words out as he places an arm undermine and the other one under my knees, picking me up bridal style. Lolling my head against his shoulder, my eyes drift close resting in the safety of his arms. I can feel him for what seems like a minute later placing me in the car, my protest verbalized without my consent. He plants a sweet kiss on my forehead telling me not to worry. Before I know it he is in the seat beside me driving through the streets of Manhattan towards my house in the Bronx on the east side. I can feel the car stop through the daze of my half sleeping state and him leave the car only to return a moment later with a bottle of water requesting over and over again that I wake up and drink it. After some pleads from him, I acquiesce and drain the bottle of its contents. Only to return to my slumber. Pretty soon we are at my house and Sebastian strong arms are carrying me inside, using my key to get in, and placing it back into my bag. He brings me to my room, lays me down on my bed, takes off my shoes, and then covers me up with the same grey sheet from that morning.

"You'll be okay soon. I promise my Principessa. I'm so sorry." He whispers in my ear as he trails kisses down my jaw line. His words sounding more like pleads to me than a promise. I can feel him get up to leave, it is as if he cannot watch me be sick. Even if it is for a short time according to him.

Sitting up in bed I can tell that whatever had occurred has now passed thanks to the nap and probably the cool water Sebastian provided me. I make my way first to the bathroom to pee, then to the kitchen to grab my mickey mouse mug from the dark brown paneled cabinets. I turn on the faucet and allow the cold water to trickle down like a small waterfall into the glass. Every bead of water perfectly merged with the others. I become so concentrated on what had happened at the restaurant that I don't even notice the cup overflowing, the tingle of freezing liquid flowing over my hand or the splash as it falls into the sink and down the drain.

"Sophie? Sophie?!Sophie!" my brother calls out to me.

"Stefan what?!" I demand; annoyance surging through me as I am startled out of my reverie, still unaware of the water cascading down my hand.

"Your hand." He points out in such a matter of fact way you can hear the duhh being implied.

"oh, snap. Thanks Stefan." My eldest brother and the only one from my mother. His 6'2" slender but muscular figure makes him perfect for his career choice of a dancer. I turn off the faucet while pouring a little bit out then wiping both the cup and my hands on one of the kitchen towels. On the way back to my room I look to the right and see Stefan in the living room playing on the Xbox. Turning left outside the kitchen, I head to the back of the house and toward the bedrooms only to place my now half empty cup down once I get to my room.

***

"Sorry I'm late Mr. Walter." I apologize while pulling my white apron on tight around my body. My hair was already in a tight bun and inside of a hair net as per regulation rules.

"Don't worry about it. Just get to work. Okay." My boss tells me in his gruff voice. Mr. Walter is a no-nonsense kind of guy and if you work hard for him than he will often look the other way if you are late or need to leave early. So long as you do not abuse his good natured-ness.

"Of course." I say getting to work and soon falling into the natural rhythm I have behind the fish counter whenever I am assigned to work it. As I look up from arranging a dish of salmon, I see an elderly woman waiting for me to take notice of her.

"Hello, madam what can I get for you today?" I ask using my automatic customer service voice. A voice I had been practicing for several years. It was a mixture of slightly bored, preppy/ happy and interested. The woman of at least seventy can clearly see past the voice but did not let the charade deter her. Her ocean blue eyes are surrounded by snow white wrinkles; she is a beautiful woman with kind eyes. Her husband walks up behind her as if they are still young and kisses her on the cheek. It put something in my heart to watch them together. I can almost see me and Sebastian together that old and still madly in love with each other only I can't see us as old. We look the same as we do now, but the years have passed and done something to us.

"Honey? Sweetie, can I get the trout?" her voice quivers as she asks for her order, but it is strong, and she is firm. Like she has the heart of a lion and nothing can shake her. I serve her, her order and go about my day serving customer after customer. In between customers I clean and gut the fish until I notice a familiar red head.

"Ella? What are you doing here?" I ask as I wipe up the counter practically done with my day. I love taking the last fifteen-minute break for the last fifteen minutes of my shift.

"Just came to get some chips and salsa." She says in her high melodic voice. I can hear her headphones blaring the latest set of music she has found.

"Okay, give me a sec. and we can grab some snacks together and then maybe I can stay at your place? He's back and it's getting worse." I say as if I need to explain to her why I might want a night away from my house.

"Of course. It's just me tonight any way the rest of the family went up to see my grandma, but I wanted to stay down here." She parks her cart by the counter and chats with me aimlessly while I finish wiping down the counter, put away my apron and throw away my hair net. We walk around the corner to the electronic card reader for my timecard and I punch out for my fifteen minutes. Giggly with Ella has always been the closest I have felt to being young. Grabbing an abandoned cart, we decide to play cart tag and race half forgetting to pick out snack. Once my fifteen minutes is over, the timer on my phone goes off, both of our carts have some treats in them. We quickly go to clock me back in and then out before going to the cashier and officially acquiring our loot.

By Nine thirty that night we finally make it back to Ella's home and our first responsibility is to put away the freezer/ fridge treats we had gotten at the store before deciding what activity we want to do.

"Binging or fashion show?" I ask a smile forming on my lips, knowing full well what the answer is going to be from my bestie.

"I'll go with fashion. That way we can actually fit into the clothes." She giggles knowing just how seriously we take our snackage.

"Great" I call back as I race down the hallway to her bedroom where I have a drawer of clothes and small duffel with even more belongings. Swiftly I remove my white polo shirt and jeans to reveal a white pleather boned corset and frilled white booty shorts.

"Whoa! What is that number? When did you get that?" Ella asks, eyes bugging out as she takes in the full picture of me. My hair let down in a tidal wave of curls hanging down in perfect layers to my mid-back, my rounded butt filling out my shorts, and my DD's practically spilling out of the corsets cups as the corset cinches in the last inch of unwanted belly fat I have. I am finally 116 lbs. my goal weight but my stomach still has a chubby edge to it, it won't get any flatter.

"It is something I bought a year ago and swore I would wear when I had the body for it." I say twirling around letting her get the full view of me as I shimmy and shake. Doing my best to be seductive.

"Ella, do you think he will like it? Do you think I am sexy enough?" I ask in such a small voice I'm not sure she hears me until she replies.

"Yes, I think he will love it and you look very sexy." She says it so sweetly and purely that there is no room for doubt that she genuinely believes it, but it doesn't prevent me from having a small nugget of doubt in my mind.

"Want to dance for the camera and we can send it to Sebastian, see just how fast he replies?" She asks hopping onto her bed with a devilish grin while pulling out her iPhone. Turning to face her I wait till she gives me the cue that she is recording then with the best sexiest smirk I start moving my body as if I am a stripper on the main stage and every one's eyes are glued on me. Swaying my hips back and forth I make my way to the floor onto my hands and knees only to crawl over to Ella and peer up into the camera. I place each of my hands on her knees as I slowly swing my body again back and forth this time lifting myself up, bending ever so slightly forward to give the camera a perfect view of my cleavage. Still moving my hips in sync to the music playing in my head before quickly turning around and grabbing her nearby bed post; wrapping my leg around just as Ella calls cut.

Out of breath I place my foot back onto the floor, turn and ask "H-how wa-was that?" gulping down a fresh deep breath as I try not to cough it back up.

"I think you gave me a boner." She chuckles not bothering to look up from her phone as she works her magic on the video and subsequently sends it to me.

"Do you think you'll be losing your virginity to him?" She quietly asks. For a moment I am unsure if I hear her correctly and when she doesn't say anything more, am shocked.

"I don't know. I just know I'm not ready to have sex yet. I just kissed the man. Just kissed any guy for the first time the other day. I need time." I say panicking trying to catch my breath as I perch myself on the edge of her darker, wooden version of a four-poster bed. Her Black sheets crinkle around me as my weight makes the bed settle in. Ella takes my hands in hers and just nods in understanding before getting up and retrieving our snacks from the kitchen. As I am waiting, I get up and grab a pair of pjs from my drawer and start pulling them on before I hear her voice echo from down the hall.

"Come to the living room!" Her voice rings like soft and high windchimes. I head towards her looking at the walls, the chores chart with allowance money still being used for her younger brother; the graduation photos and baby pictures lining the hall. My fingers softly brush against the wall as I round the corner into their living room. My hand grips the wall as if not quite letting me enter the same room I practically grew up in, spending nearly every day after school and weekends in, I was not working or at Mari's. Reflecting it dawns on me I spent more time with Ella than I did with Mari after meeting her in the fourth grade. Although, we did not have the most copasetic relationship when we were younger it always felt like our friendship is a lot more genuine than my other ones. Eventually she notices me in the doorway and with a puzzle look motions for me to sit beside her on the floor in front of the tv. She's still in her street clothes a black crop band t-shirt, high waisted light denim shorts with black boots folded beneath her lithe form. Her pile of candy, salsa and chips and our special treat of cookie dough ice cream all artfully arranged around her. While next to her is my pile of equally artfully arranged treats and chips and salsa lay. After I finish pondering, I walk over to the same young woman who brought me into her life and has protected me with no questions asked the way I have wanted for the past ten years. For a few hours we sit in near silence eating and laughing at our favorite shows; we don't think of anything else and nothing else can touch us. Eventually though all good things come to an end and I notice that my laughter is no longer being echoed by her higher melodic version. Peering over I see her dozing, laying against the mud brown couch, one arm under her cherubic face. I start gathering all the plates and treats placing them in the right bags to either be discarded or to be put away. Trying to make it in one haul I gather it all up in my arms and bring it to her kitchen, dropping it all onto the vintage linoleum countertop. I start moving the dishes into the sink and the trash into the can inside the cabinet below, then move to put the food into the fridge to save for another day.

Standing in front of the sink again I start rolling my neck, closing my tired eyes before going to start washing the evidence of our night. I can feel him close; I can smell the sweet minty scent of him wafting over to my nostrils. It's like a call to my body and I react before I can even think about it, before I can wonder how he knew where to find me. My feet all but run to the door as my hands spring out to yank it open to find him standing on the other side. My mouth is the next to start moving before I can even realize what I am doing and I hear myself, my breathy, excited self, invite him inside. Grabbing at his outreached hand practically dragging him in to me. Hoping, praying that he will hold me close, kiss me deeply. Chuckling as usual he reads my needs not just on my face but etched into the grain of every cell in my body. He obliges me and dips his head down as I reach up for him on tippy toes to meet him half way, lacing my fingers through his lustrous hair as our mouths meet a carnal growl rips through him as a moan escapes me. Spinning me around in his arms he backs me into the now closed door, crushing me into the frame, his hands on either side of my face just close enough to tease my senses. Whimpering as my tongue plays with his, allowing his to take the lead to teach me what he likes, I let one of my hands fall to the back of his shoulder. Rejoicing in the feel of his muscles I make my way further down his arm until I intertwine my fingers with his bringing his hand down to touch me. Unsure of where to have him touch me first just knowing that I need more than for our lips to be molded together. I place our hands on my stomach relishing the burn of him there. Knowing how close he is to where I crave him the most but cannot have him. Taking my hand back I place it on his chest wanting to feel him as much as I want to be felt by him. Together we start to explore each other's torsos. Enjoying the tentative touches and fervor kisses until his hand slips beneath my shirt and touching upon the bottom of my corset. Pulling back, he cocks an eye at me in an unasked question that I answer with equal silence. Taking his hand again I walk us down to Ella's bedroom and start stripping out of my PJs revealing my underwear from my earlier video. He takes a long moment to stare at me in appreciative, longing glances. His eyes roaming me in hunger like a predator having spotted its dinner and devising the best way to accomplish the feat. Taking a few steps back as I notice this change in him, I see him take languid steps toward me. More hurried I continue to move backwards, only taking quick glances behind me from my periphery so as not to take my attention off of him and his movements. Not that it matters; in mere seconds he has his one hand around my hips and the other twisted in my hair, my knees buckling from being too flushed against the edge of the bed. The only thing keeping me from tumbling right onto the bed is him holding me in place. His mouth drops onto mine with such a hungry need that I feel my body's tension relax into him and respond to him, match him. I open myself up the best I can while making quick work of getting rid of his shirt and finally having his full hard chest beneath my touch. My fingers roam, taking in every groove of his abdominals as I become more and more curious about how it would feel to feel even more of him. A small yank of my hair and our kiss is broken, his lips glide down to my neck pressing several passionate sloppy kisses along the way. At the conjuncture of my neck and collar bone I feel his lips latch on, licking, sucking, creating a pleasurable pressure build in my body until I feel a sharp pain blossom suddenly beneath his attentive care. Oh God No! Stop! I try to jump back; my eyes snap open and I am left alone in the room panicking, panting just as Ella walks in to find me disheveled. My lips red and puckered, hair wild and loose, clothes mussed but worse of all a small stream of blood flowing down my neck staining the left cup of my once white corset.

"Sophie are you okay? What happened here?" She asks panicking as well; looking around the room and out in the hallway as if an assailant has passed her without her noticing and maybe he has. Without answering her I pick up her towel off its hook and my pjs off the floor while keeping my head down to keep her from seeing the tears that are now running down my face.

***

My emotions are ricocheting all over the place and as I sit in her bath now lukewarm, I try to straighten it all out. Was it a dream? Was it real? Its real. Why did he hurt me? Or did I hurt myself and project it as him? Block him. Why am I so sad? Why do I want him right now so badly? Do not love him! Sitting for just a few more moments longer I lay my head against my knees and let the tears just slide down into the water.

***

Looking into the mirror the next morning I make sure to take a good look at my neck; with gentle fingers I probe the area. Taking a cotton ball from the nearby overhanging cabinet and some peroxide I clean it again and watch as the liquid turns the purple skin darker with each stroke. If anyone was to look at it, they would think hickey; not quite a normal bruise which I am very used to sporting, used to cleaning but at the center of this hickey looking bruise is one pinprick puncture mark. Not giving myself permission to dwell on the wound much, I pull up the collar of my leather jacket to cover it up and stare at the rest of my body.

***

A week later and several dodged calls from Sebastian I find myself outside again with Ella showcasing my now clear skin. Since, the event I hadn't had another dream at all and am a little sad over the loss of them but overall happy to not be in harm's way again of sleep harming myself. I still am not sure though about giving Sebastian a call back, his voicemails seem panicked and I feel bad for not replying to him at all but I need space. Space to decide what I want from the relationship and not get lost in the emotions that clearly threaten to come out if those dreams are any indication. Looking over at Ella and her new boyfriend Efrem a small smile creeps across my face. A small pleasure takes root in me at her happiness and all I can hope is that I can have a portion of what they have, but in the mean time I enjoy the attention my outfit attracts from the nearby boys and men. A few of which are bold enough to come over and ask if I am taken, to which I evade. While waiting for the next guy to come up and take his chance with me only to be politely shot down after a few laughs; I lean back in my chair enjoying the heat of the sun bake my skin. My blue mini skirt hikes up a little as I scoot my tush down into the chair a little more to angle my body better. My black tube top clings to my body like a second skin doused with a healthy amount of perspiration from the blazing heat of mid-august. Turning my head slightly to shield my eyes from the blinding rays of the sun I notice Him standing in the shade of a building across the street staring at me. My heart jumps and slams against my rib cage in terrified happiness. My cheeks begin to take on a rosier look as the shame from my flirting and ghosting him sinks in. My mind races with questions of how long he could have possibly been standing there watching me. Excusing myself from the table I walk over to Ella's side and whisper in her ear "Sebastian is across the street. If I am not back or text you in 5 minutes, please come get me." My voice already started to crack as I start to think about maybe telling her instead that I will see her tomorrow, but before I can change my mind I straighten up and calmly walk across the street. Halfway there I look up at the building's sign and realize how truly silly I am to not have noticed, to have figured out that he would be here. Walking up to him I move to the other side of his office building doors, lower my eyes to the ground and croak out "How long have you been watching me?"

"Well, I came out to have lunch about thirty minutes ago when I noticed you and a young man flirting. My first reaction was to go over there and rip out his throat and demand an answer from you as to why you haven't returned a single one of my texts or calls. Then I thought better of it and decided I wanted to see just how far you were going to take his advances. When you eventually shot him down, I was pleased but he was soon followed by several other suitors that you entertained." His ice-cold stare burrows into the top of my head and I can feel the hurt behind the anger of his words. He must have been really worried only to find out that I was fine and on top of it flirting with other guys and not having the decency to break up with him first.

"I know it doesn't make today better, but I had a rough week and I just needed to let off some steam. It was harmless interaction and my plan was to contact you later today." I lie hoping he can't tell how my palms start to sweat as I try in vain to dry them in my skirt. Looking me over carefully he walks to me, stopping right before me and places his thumb on my chin, raising it. The heat from his body seeps into mine and I can feel the chemical reaction to his proximity, start. My eyes go just a bit wider with lust, my tongue quickly flicks out licking my lips, my core turning to molten lava churning. Shaking my head, I turn it out of his grasp, taking in a deep breath of air as if the hot air outside and loss of contact will cool the need in me.

"Let's go get lunch." He states blandly grabbing my hand as he pulls his hood over his head and starts to drag me across the street to Brisas. As we pass Ella, she looks at me puzzled but I have nothing I can even say to her. Instead I shake my head, mouthing "I'll text you" before being dragged inside the Spanish restaurant towards the back table with its own little nook.

Shortly after sitting down the waitress arrives to take our orders with a heavy Dominican accent and Sebastian surprises me by ordering for both of us in fluent Spanish. Once, she is gone I turn to him and ask how it is that he knows fluent Spanish.

"I traveled a lot in my life, and I spent a few years in Spain a while back." He replies nonchalantly as if most people had the privilege of traveling abroad. He must have seen how incredulous I feel by it all because he continues a little more about the circumstances around why he ended up in Spain. Telling me how he had been following a girl who he had met while he was away in boarding school; how he wanted to see the sights she was telling him about. How he ended up moving schools just to be able to spend more time there and with the people. By the time we finish eating our arroz con gandules y chuleta fritas we are on much more amicable terms again.

"I'm glad we had a chance to talk and get to know each other more. However, I feel like there is still the issue of why you needed space." He urges me, eyes looking down at me. A flash of pleading broadcast in his eyes but quickly vacates just as fast. Unable to look at him in the eyes knowing my reason for blowing him off the past week is not his fault I start taking him in instead. His hood is down again having left behind tousled and frizzy curls that are no longer pulled back in his pony. His leather jacket with black hoodie underneath seem to be his signature coat. He's wearing it over a form fitted button down light blue shirt and navy thin tie. I keep my eyes fixed on the ties knot work; its once tight embrace loosened at the beginning of our meal is now resting comfortably a few notches below the base of his neck. His top button is unbuttoned and open so I can see his hard flesh below. Heat flushes up my own neck and into my cheeks as I remember the night at Ella's and the mark on my own neck, how I will now have to explain it to him. Quietly as if under a spell I start "About the time we first met I started to have dreams about the two of us. Dreams that have made me sleepwalk or sleep act out or whatever you want to call it. In the last one I was injured, and it shook me. It shook me because of what I did and wanted in the dream and what I did and how it made it seem like you were the one who hurt me and I couldn't remove the correlation." I suck in a breath after just letting it all out. After a moment of silence, I raise my eyes to meet his and I see only understanding. Without a word he puts his hand inside his jacket and pulls out a small green box. My insides squeeze shut and all the air I had leaves as he slides it across to me open. Inside I can see a turquoise diamond infinity necklace with past, present, and future stones. Getting up he walks around the table, lifting my hair to the side, he grabs the necklace from its case and clasp it around my neck. My hand flies up to the pendent feeling the grooves of the stones. Lowering himself so his mouth tickles my ear he tells me "This is a family heirloom and I hope that one day you will be a part of my family. Please do not run from me again". His honey voice coats me, releasing me from the panic I was feeling from such a strong statement. Slowly I breathe in his scent, breathe in the cool air of the a/c room, and let it take away the lingering worry.

"Let me take you home now." He whispers one last time for the day in my ear, then kisses my cheek and helps me to my feet and out the door.