webnovel

Cultivator Battle Royale

Every year, a group of the weakest cultivators in the planet is offered the chance to compete in the Cultivation Battle Royale, a chance for them to rapidly gain power as they defeat other cultivators and risk their lives for valuable herbs, pills, and techniques. Xing Wenghu, The reincarnation of the Immortal 9 Quadrants Chicken Wing Emperor is chosen to enter. Having failed the Thunder Tribulation of moving out of his parents house, he risks life and limb to overtake the other "Bizarre" cultivators he competes against. A satirical parody of many cultivation tropes, stories and characters.

SmilesS · Fantasi
Peringkat tidak cukup
10 Chs

Rise (2)

After a few days of failed training, and almost breaking his hand. Today was the day in which Xing Wenghu would be transferred to the Cultivator battle Royale.

The young lad was excited to prove himself and become just like his past powerful identity.

The power that would be wielded in his hands, the techniques he would earn would be but a breath of air compared to his past self!

His mother meanwhile, was in such a good mood. The doorbell rang, causing Xing Wenghu to rush over downstairs to answer it.

Clearly, these were the people who would escort him to the Cultivator Battle Royale.

However, when he opened the door. Xing Wenghu was greeted with the sight of his nearby neighbor. Sun Yaozu.

Sun Yaozu was a rather tall and muscular cultivator, as well as an accomplished man who made Xing Wenghu look like a dwarf.

"If I were in my prime, Sun Yaozu would be like an ant!" Xing Wenghu thought to himself, while his mother quickly ran over to the door.

"Sun Yaozu! You're early I...Wasn't ready yet." Xing Wenghu's mother blushed, Sun Yaozu took this opportunity to enter the house.

His tall and imposing frame lurked over Xing Wenghu, "Oh? I just couldn't help myself Miss Wenghu."

Sun Yaozu casually strode over to the couch and sat down, "Could I have something to drink, from a Jade Beauty such as yourself?"

He shamelessly decided to flirt with his mother. Xing Wenghu couldn't believe this!

Xing Wenghu felt his head about to burst, this bastard dare to flirt with his mother!? "He was courting death!!!" Xing Wenghu took a stance, and looked fiercely at Sun Yaozu,

"Hmph. I see you are so shameless as to flirt with my mother in front of me Sun Yaozu!!!" Xing Wenghu shouted at him, taking a ridiculous karate like stance.

Sun Yaozu stood up from the couch, "Oh? And what if I want to?" He glared at the young man, looking down at him as if he were a child.

"Your mother over here seems to enjoy my company, doesn't she?" Xing Wenghu's mother blushed further, unable to look straight at him.

"Well I..."

Xing Wenghu then raised his voice to interrupt her, "Don't speak mother. This man has bewitched you, but I the Heavenly King shall stop him!"

Xing Wenghu ran to tackle Sun Yaozu, shouting dramatically his attack name like all manhua protagonists were destined to.

"Bull Overtaking Tackle Nine Yang Formation!!!!"

Xing Wenghu put his fingers over his head to imitate the horns of a bull, his mother dying of second hand embarrassment from the motion.

"Oh Goddamnit Xing..."

She winced in embarrassment at this. Her dumb son was ruining her date!

Sun Yaozu sighed, raising his hand to slap some sense into Xing Wenghu. The slap collided with Xing Wenghu's face, sending him flying into the house wall.

Xing Wenghu left a noticeable imprint on it, there were multiple cracks in the walls foundation as well.

"Sorry Miss Wenghu, I'll be paying for that myself." Xing Wenghu meanwhile struggled to get back up, he couldn't allow this rapscallion bastard to flirt with his mother!

'H-He's strong!' Xing Wenghu thought, working on a plan to fight back against Sun Yaozu. "It seems I will have to go all out for this one. You are courting death by daring to flirt with my mother!!!"

Xing Wenghu took an even more ridiculous stance, posing his hands arms and legs as if he were a praying mantis.

"Five Yang, Mantis Rush!"

Xing Wenghu attempted a second unusual attack, but upon striking Sun Yaozu's body a loud crack was heard throughout the house.

Xing Wenghu smirked, "Hmph. Looks like your meridians have already been shattered by my blow!"

Sun Yaozu only looked down at Xing Wenghu in confusion, "Hm?" He said, unaffected by Xing Wenghu's attack.

Xing Wenghu was stunned by this turn of events. If his body were unharmed by his attack, then that must mean...

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Xing Wenghu now clutched his hand in pain, the damage inflicted upon it too great for him to handle. Sun Yaozu only laughed at Xing Wenghu's pathetic attempts to harm him.

"Miss Wenghu, may I slap your son around a bit. He seems to not know his place here." Sun Yaozu said, Missus Wenghu submitting to him.

"Oh of course, actually you can hurt him as much as you like. The Officials taking him away will treat all his injuries anyway!" She smiled happily at that last part, almost like a demonness.

Xing Wenghu was caught off guard, his mother had been bewitched by this demonic cultivator!

How dare he come between a son and his mother's love! He would destroy the Yaozu family after he mopped the floor with foolish Sun Yaozu!

At-least, that's what he thought.

Xing Wenghu took a ridiculous stance once more and shouted, "Dao of the three pyramids, Yin Yang Convergence!!!!"

Before leaping right at Sun Yaozu with his fists out stretched. Sun Yaozu however only yawned at Xing Wenghu's incompetence.

He proceeded to take out his belt, and cover it in qi. "Oh you think you're a daoist huh? Well taste my Dao of the belt!"

The dao of the belt was a very famous power in the lands Xing Wenghu had come from, many children ran in fear of the dao of the belt.

For when it struck, it was harder than any metal!

"No Please!"

The dao of the belt was a force far too strong for Xing Wenghu to handle, as the belt collided with his face, sending the poor young man flying away. "Hmph. That should take care of him, now where were we Miss..."

Suddenly, multiple knives flew from out of nowhere, and stabbed Sun Yaozu in the leg. "How did he-"

Xing Wenghu was now standing up, holding qi enchanted knives that were powerful enough to stab the average cultivator.

"Hmph Sun Yaozu, don't try to toast when you can't catch a mouse! Sun Yaozu was now enraged, plucking the knives out of his body and rapidly healing from this.

"I was going to stop at the dao of the belt, but now I've seen enough! " Sun Yaozu instantly disappeared, causing Xing Wenghu's eyes to shoot up.

"H-he's fast!"

Sun Yaozu was now behind Xing Wenghu, he struck him on the back and sent him flying into the floor.

Then he picked Xing Wenghu up again and slammed him once more down on the ground. This process would repeat itself, much to the enjoyment of Xing Wenghu's mother.

"Finally, the brat is getting his ass beat!"

Xing Wenghu's mother never had it in her to discipline him, not even when he roleplayed as a Heavenly King and proceeded to turn insanely delusional.

Sun Yaozu was like a hero in her eyes, on top of being totally handsome and attractive. Xing Wenghu could not believe his mother's words on the other hand.

"Mother! Do you really not like me!?"

Miss Wenghu smiled unable to take any more of this delusion.

"Yes! You keep saying your an immortal heavenly king, but you can't even fill out a job application!!!"

Sun Yaozu then slapped Xing Wenghu in the face, "You need to stop acting like a brat and start acting your age."

It was at that moment the scuffle was interrupted by another ring of the doorbell, everyone conveniently stopped what they were doing.

Xing Wenghu's ass beating was paused mid air, while his mother went to open the door.

Multiple men and women dressed in suits were standing right outside. "Yes we're looking for a Mister Wenghu...?"

A tall, balding man asked. Xing Wenghu smiled, saved by the agents from a beating.

"Yes, that would be me."

"Come along with us, we will be flying you to the testing grounds."

Xing Wenghu looked back at his mother, and the man that had bewitched her. "Hmph. Just you wait, this Heavenly King will come back with a vengeance!"

If his mother wanted to betray him for the man next door, then Xing Wenghu would be shameless upon his return!

Going to bump this up to 2 updates a day starting next week with more time. Hope you guys enjoy the story!

And yes, it will get more ridiculous from here.

SmilesScreators' thoughts