Perpetual Samsara (Part 9)

"Tch…dammit…ha…" Raizo gritted his teeth in frustration panting heavily as sweat poured from his brow, trickling down his face.

"Again," the voice of Sivanah commanded as she sat across from him while watching him meditate.

Wiping the perspiration from his face, he adjusts his posture and takes in a deep breath to calm his nerves and find his center. He closed his eyes and proceeded to meditate once more. His mind quieted down, the slight echo of a soft breeze and running water in the distance made for the ideal setting for him to relax. As a result, he found himself diving into the recesses of serenity; however, as soon as he encountered that zen moment, a ridiculous pressure assailed him. His eyebrow twitched while the unknown density escalated against his consciousness.

"Gahh…ha…ha…" he broke from his meditative state struggling for air once more. The cause of this action was none other than the Great Tengu Mother herself. She carefully observed how Raizo was diving into his training and every time she felt like his focus wavered, she would increase the weight of her presence.

"You aren't focusing like I told you to dammit. Had you been doing it the right way, my aura would not be at the forefront of your mind's eye right now," she chastised.

"You haven't even told me the point of this anyway. How the hell am I supposed to get my powers in check or develop accordingly if I'm not doing some sort of physical training?" he complained.

"You damn idiot…good grief. Has anyone ever truly taught you anything? True strength isn't in the weight of your sword, physical might, or potential inherited through your bloodline. To attain a true sense of strength and grow beyond measure, one must seek the Way behind every machination of this shadow we call reality."

"Umm…what the hell?" Raizo responded in utter confusion whilst tilting his head.

"Understanding goes beyond the capabilities of the individual body, mind and soul. You must feel the way of reality. The Tao is what your intuition must discern to realize the potential for true wisdom."

"So uh…this 'Tao' thing is like the cogs inside a machine; a complex system of gears turning underneath reality or something? Like…um…what's those things called from Aniki's world…pistons inside an engine, right?"

"..." Sivanah went silent before reaching out and abruptly slapping him on the back of the head.

"OW! What the hell?!" he yelled out.

"You idiot…" the Tengu sighed heavily before collecting her composure, "This is not something that can be grasped as a concept. It is known through the actual living experience of one's everyday being."

Raizo maintained his silence at this point so that he would not risk being slapped again.

"Tao is not a name for a thing or a being, but the underlying natural order of existence whose ultimate essence is difficult to circumscribe because it is non-conceptual yet evident in one's being of aliveness. The Tao is eternally nameless and should be distinguished from the countless named things that are considered to be its manifestations, the reality of life before its descriptions of it."

The Crusader took those words and felt like he had an inkling of an understanding of it. In his mind, it was like an unseen life force governing all things… or a driving energy. Something that is unseen, cannot be put into words, but is nonetheless always present. However, if he tried to think of it that way, perhaps it would make his training even more complicated. As a result, Raizo just began to clear his mind of stray thoughts, freeing himself from the waking mind and letting himself go.

"Empty your mind, be formless; shapeless, like water. Let yourself become the flow of the tide that comes and goes, forever one with the Tao," Sivanah guided him through the process, but the youth was gaining insight of his own.

"Blood is the currency the wolf uses to repay sin and corruption…"

"All I want is revenge…"

"Don't insult me, just who the hell do you think I am?!"

"You dare insult her…my wife of all people!"

"Place all your bets on me…you'll never lose."

"Go while I still have some sense of reason left!"

"All I want…is a place to call my own."

"I have already ordained a light in you that no god could ever know."

"Become the storm raging within you, tame it and make it yours."

Various voices filled his mind at that point, some familiar, others completely foreign to him. Each one carried its own distinction which allotted him the insight to relax and experience this new journey. Sensing his path taking root, Sivanah softly echoed her own wisdom.

"Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have patience, be still and allow the mud to settle. Akasha's hand has cast the Tao who casts the shadow that is our worldly existence. To grasp it, you must let go. Everything must be equal in your eyes–good and evil, beautiful and ugly, foolish and wise. For beneath it all there is only the Way…there is only the Tao."

Just when Raizo was edging towards the cusp of breaking into this new world, his transcendent focus was invaded by a dark voice invoking destructive impulses.

"Break…everything…."

"We are one and the same, you can't escape who you truly are…"

This made the youth snap out of his meditative stance in a cold sweat, his body quaked with anxiety and fear. As he looked at his hands, he felt like he had an out-of-body experience and was dragged to a mental space not of his own design. That darkness was familiar, yet foreign at the same time.

"Well…you had something going there for a minute," Sivanah sighed upon seeing her new protege fail once more at the task at hand.

"Nevertheless, I don't expect you to master something you've never been aware of the whole time. Exposure is the first step in this long journey you must face. However, I sense a lot of fear within you; that and doubt over what you could become."

"....It's like I don't even know who I am sometimes…I don't get it, what's wrong with me?" he groaned whilst balling his fists up.

"That is something you must ask yourself. In order to truly move forward, you need to break through this threshold; otherwise you will be eternally stuck at this glass ceiling of your own potential. You need to let go and face yourself."

Raizo really did not have anything to say in his rebuttal, so he just took her advice and calmed himself once more. As he regained his composure, he began to focus more on his surroundings. The space they currently occupied was isolated from the rest of the palace. The domain was like an isolated dimension.

Its setting was like a tropical island fixated in the middle of the ocean; except, the water that washed upon the shores was a living, bioluminescent shade of green. The skies above were dyed in a widespread aurora that switched color palettes based upon the overall atmosphere of its occupants. During Raizo's previous struggles, the skies shifted to a deep red and black, but at this point, it became dyed with cool colors of aqua, blue and violet with hints of yellow mixed within. Time was not a factor in this space. It was an independent reality that separated not only from the Tengu Kingdom, but also Cocytus entirely.

"This kid is a bit of a slow learner, then again, he doesn't realize the mountain of untapped potential he's sitting on. Fuck's sake, Akasha…you really dumped off a challenge on me; annoying, but not a complete lost cause. Ah what the hell? Might as well contribute," Sivanah thought before flipping her hair away from her face.

She quietly positioned herself mere inches away from Raizo's position. As the Crusader's focus was driven deep into meditation, the Great Tengu Mother elected to join him. As she took a deep breath, she slowly reached out to him to touch his forehead. Without him even realizing it, the woman performed a dive inside the boy's mind.

Sivanah was absorbed into the realm of his identity where the sum of his experiences and memories spread out like a gallery in a museum. Instantly, the Great Daitengu felt the influence of the Arcana Crystal as bits and pieces of its immense energy trickled the muddled canvas within the boy's consciousness. Within those fragments, she felt the presence of another individual–her sister, Sakinah Vashti.

Flashes of the woman's memories appeared. From the harsh environment she grew up in, to the dark nature caused by seeing humanity's worst, the harrowing trials and tribulations that followed which led her to an unrelenting fury unrivaled by all, and then some. All of these experiences built up a belief that the world needed to be reset and Akasha must be forsaken; even if it meant destroying the very chosen ones meant to carry humanity forward unto dawn.

"How unsurprising that my sister became this way. Deception by everyone around her; whether by humanity even when she protected and healed them, or the foolish gods so blinded by personal ambition that they could not turn her away from vengeance. Their fate was but an inevitable result of their ego," she sighed at the behest of the images unfolding before her.

"Good grief, there is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning. Yet humanity followed that folly instead of understanding the Tao…"

Just as she came to a pause with her thinking, involuntarily, her mind traversed back to her past. The flow of memories overtook her which resulted in her own essence being displayed by the inner canvas. The mighty woman paused for a moment and recanted a small smirk.

"Interesting, I haven't reflected on these moments in many eons…"