Chapter 29.5 Bonus: Rediscovering Purpose

Red. All I see is red as I pound my fists against the light barrier holding me captive. I bang against the invisible barrier. My hands feel painful and heavy, but all I feel is rage, and this hunger that shakes me to the core. I wanted power; I needed power ever since I was a little girl. I had always felt powerless. I lived in a small underground encampment called Deepfoot Underpass in Nocturnia, where the dark elves lived. Dark elves were elves who had turned their backs on the goddess Azura for the power promised by Seraphina long ago. Their skin turned gray from a life underground, and they were granted impressive power by Seraphina in return. My people have always lusted after power in any form, studying dark scrolls, or other alternate magics.

Elves have always had magic built-in, but mixed with this new power from the goddess Seraphina, their raw power was limitless. There are two sides to every story; some dark elves were occasionally born with little magic at all. I was one such case. I was a defect in the underground, never accepted by anyone. My own parents gave up on me once they realized my lack of potential. I was also bullied by the townsfolk for being powerless, and eventually, I decided to run away from home. I wanted power, something I could call my own so that one day, when I returned, everyone would accept me. I studied the best I could as an urchin living on the streets in human cities. I started small, selling my potions for food, but eventually, I grew, going from town to town, making my living as a merchant.

Once I was able to sustain myself with my potions, I began to purchase more books on alchemy. I wanted to find a way to gain power without using magic. I noticed that there were certain herbs and magical stones that could be broken down for raw power. That was when it clicked for me; I could create my power using the energy packed in nature as fuel. That was when I noticed my body changing; my joints began to hurt more when I wasn't on my homebrewed potions. I began to rely on these potions to feel normal, but I wasn't stupid. I was aware that was a weakness. These drugs were beginning to break down my muscles and joints, and it would only be a matter of time before they broke me.

That was when I met Lucius. I originally intended to use that boy as a means to an end like every other human. I couldn't do that as long as I was bound to him. That was when I unconsciously began to rely on someone other than myself. When he would save me or provide me with words of concern, it made me feel weak. Once I saw that book, it clicked for me; I needed something. I needed power to take away the weakness I was feeling. I decided right then that I would never become a support for someone else, even if some great mage said it was for the best. I had taken the power and gave in to the rage as I turned on those who had begun to provide me with comfort.

I looked around me; the barrier began to open up. It was a large area now, and we seemed to be in some kind of basement. Three targets appeared in front of me, dressed in school uniforms, and they seemed ready to fight. A mage with grey hair pointed at me, "All right, students, consider this a practical exercise. Try to exhaust Lulith. In an exhausted state, she should be easier to reason with, okay?" The students collectively approved, "Yes, Principal!" I cared not. I charged at them on all fours, and my dagger-like claws shot out to skewer the girl. The boy next to her, with a long silver sword, took the stance of a batter as he used the blunt of his blade to knock me away. The blade hit me hard in the stomach, and I shot back but landed on the backs of my feet.

I used the barrier as a launchpad, and I pounced again at the boy who had launched me. The dreary-looking boy next to him yawned, and the boy muttered, "Arrow of Arjuna." Wind blew out from his palms, which effortlessly sent me flying back again. This time, I slammed into the barrier. The cheery girl smiled, "My turn! Heaven's Foot!" Light chains shot out from the girl's hand, binding me in place. I tried to resist, but the more I struggled, the tighter the hold of the chains became. I began to think about my childhood again. Even my own siblings picked on me; they used to call me Dullith because my body was like a blade that, no matter how much I tried, would always remain dull. My body pulsed with power, and I never wanted to feel powerless again!

The chains began to bend and break as I unleashed a wild yell. Caught off guard, the students seemed to back away. Once I was free, I dashed off the barrier again at lightning speed. The girl tried to cast a spell, but it was too late. I would enjoy using her body to fuel myself. This wasn't even close to enough power. Right before I got to her, a light barrier blocked my blow, separating me from the students again. The voice of the girl rang out, "Thanks, professor; that was close!" The dreary boy chimed in, "Call me crazy, but this seems pointless; there isn't anything left in this person anymore." The mage laughed, "Give her a chance, Kaiser; this was only round one, and you already got her panting. I would say that is a good start."

The boy rolled his eyes, seemingly ready to fight again. The barrier was put down once more, and the boy Arthur roared, "Kaiser, this is good practice, man. If you ask me, this is a blessing." His sword glowed with red energy as he slashed downward, "Red Cardinal!" The fire wasn't hot as it struck me, but instead, I felt my energy being sapped away. The boy smiled, "You're up again, Kaiser." The dreary boy sighed but seemed to get serious, "Pandora Bubble Storm." He began to flick bubbles he conjured towards me; they floated as if they had a mind of their own. My body, moving on autopilot, evaded a few, but they slowly made their way to me, and once they popped, they blasted me backward. Finally, the girl glowed, and it would appear she was their closer as she yelled out, "Rainbow's End!" Light multicolored beams flew out in all directions toward me, and it was impossible to dodge. I was stuck directly as the beams blasted me painfully, and I landed a crumpled mess on the ground, my head beginning to pulse painfully.

In my weakened state, I panted, but I was ready to strike at them again, gearing myself up for another attack when a barrier was placed in front of me. The voice of the mage before rang out from the sidelines, "Amazing as always, students. Now, let me take it from here. Lulith, can you hear me? I know you can! Get a hold of yourself, or you will be forcing my hand." The annoying voice seemed to swarm into my ears, and I panted, "Shut up!" The voice seemed to mock me, "That is a good start. Listen to me, girl. You're out of control; you need to remember who you are and what you want." I yelled at her, "I want power!" The voice sighed, "Not that. Try to remember what you really wanted. Nobody seeks out power just for the sake of having power."

I wanted power to show others how capable I was. I wanted power so I could return to my people one day with my head held high. I began banging against the barrier again. How dare this person mock me? I would rip them to shreds. The voice rang out again, "Lulith, try to remember your real desires, not something superficial." I began to cry as I pounded the barrier pathetically, and I roared, "I just wanted to be accepted!" I felt truly powerless in this moment, even with a pact to a god. I was still just a rat trapped in a cage.

The voice, full of hope, explained, "There we go. If that is all you wanted, you already have people that seem to accept you, right?" I saw a face flash into my mind, a boy's face, one that I hadn't really known for long, but one that had shown companionship. I felt my power begin to lessen as I cried, and I could feel myself returning to my former strength. I felt weak and pathetic. The woman finished with, "Strength isn't just about magic; it's about the bonds we form." As I wept, the prison of my own making shattered. My own realization began to dawn on me that maybe I could begin to trust others again and heal my wounds from the past. The woman, who I now recognized as Altaria, took down the barrier and began approaching me. She hugged me in a tight embrace. Altaria smiled warmly, "You never need to travel the road alone, my dear. It's always better to travel with friends." She then winked at me, "Now that you've embraced your true self, it's time to master your powers. Lucius will have to wait your new form is still volatile. Let the training begin!"