Whisper of Thoughts

"Aiden! How many times do I have to tell you to wake up now?"

"Yeah, Mom, I'm coming."

"And what did I tell you? Do not close the door completely. Leave it a little bit open so I don't have to bang it so hard. Now, what happened to you? Why are you making faces this early in the morning?"

"Nothing, Mom. I just don't like to wake up so early."

I lied. It was so easy for me to lie, and I don't understand how I could say it so casually. I think it has become a habit of mine.

"Honey, that's not how it works. You've got to get a hold of yourself. Don't forget your daily reminder: 'Take a deep breath when you feel uneasy and be kind to yourself.' Do you get it, or am I talking to the walls? Give me a response, at least."

"Yes, Mom, I know, and I will never forget those words. Now, let me get ready, or else I will be late because of you."

I love seeing my mom smile; she has done so much for me. It's good to see her recovering. I know it's not good to say this so early in the morning, but I'm glad my father is dead. It feels like a burden has been lifted from both our shoulders. I feel light and calm.

"Enough talking to yourself, Aiden," I told myself. I took a deep breath as Mom advised, but it didn't help. Why do I feel so restless and uneasy? Is it because of that nightmare, or is it something else?

I got dressed, left my room as it was, and joined my mom in the kitchen. A lot of her friends say I look just like her. We have the same brownish hair and light brown eyes. It's funny; when I see her childhood photos in the album, it's hard to differentiate who's Aiden and who's Ruth.

I chuckled. "Miss Ruth, what are you making today?"

She smiled. She always likes it when I address her so formally. "Now, sit down and finish up your sandwich. I'm running late for work, so I'll see you in the evening, sweetheart. Take care and enjoy your first day at college. Don't forget to make lots of friends."

"Mom..." I groaned. "You know that's not going to happen. It's impossible."

"You can at least try. Maybe you can find someone better. You know, there is no joy in living an isolated life."

I sighed. "But Mom, I have you, and that's enough for me. Bye, you're getting late now."