Story of Nikki Lindsey

CHAPTER 28: HER PAST

When I heard the faint sound of a door opening and a door closing, I wished for the floor to eat me.

Even though I attempt to listen to every step he takes, I barely hear his footsteps when my heart is pounding loudly inside my chest. It seems the blood stops running through my veins. It left me unable to breathe normally. Am I going to faint?

I was embarrassed, agitated, and had self-pity while fighting the tears in my eyes.

Putting a blindfold on top of my eyes, my head wanted to shrink. But I have to calm down, and it is too hard to do that when my hands are quivering on top of my lap. The strength I was able to gather came from gripping the lower end of my nightie tightly. I held my breath as I could feel a huge frame standing in front of me.

I press my eyelids. Even if I desired to open my eyes, the blackness would only greet me wearing this blindfold around my head.

What game was he about to play?

Why do I feel that I have become Ana, and now Christian Grey is standing in front of me?

Suddenly, I had this crazy assumption about myself. Does he want to play Christian Grey's game?

Honestly, I only watched that movie because of my crazy classmates during my college days. I thought it was just a group project overnight, but in the middle of our discussion and planning, my group project classmates suddenly suggested we finish it tomorrow. I didn't know they had planned everything already.

Locked inside a dark room when no one was around, seven junior college students; squealing and screaming. I feel numb afterward, listening to different pitches exploding before my ears all night when we binge-watch the three movies straight.

Of course, I can't relate to it because I was the only one who had no boyfriend among them. Discussing and sharing an opinion about the movie, specifically the sex scenes and fore-plays, embarrassed me watching the whole show. How do I react? 

Moreover, what could I share? Besides, even if I have a boyfriend, I definitely won't do this stuff before marriage.

I still believe in PURE LOVE.

They teased me big time. But I have reasons: I haven't had a boyfriend since birth and have no plans to get one. After the movie, we all cried instead.

For the first time, I shared with other people when I almost got raped by a group of teenagers back in Hanford City.

Working hard to overcome my trauma, we never get justice to what happens to me. My family received death threats when we tried to file a case against them. It infuriated my father, but there is no fair. Just ten years ago. They threatened to kill us, all of us, and even someone tried to set fire on our shop. If not caught by the Shopping Center police, it would cause a big fire.

So my parents keep silent until forgotten as we choose to. My parents focus on helping me to go back to my everyday life. By now, I cannot remember that day anymore. It was a long time ago. I forgot about it already and buried it deep.

But how lame that I recall the past at this time around? In all the things, I am supposed to at least act like a lover meeting my man. Not a sad history was flashing back. It must be because of the situation I was in, and the movie triggered it.

But yes, I mentioned that I almost got raped. If not for someone who attempts to save me, they must succeed. But I lost consciousness when someone hit me with a baseball bat, so I haven't witnessed what happened next.

Someone told my father he died, and I didn't know when I was not with myself in the next few months. It seems the only good news my parents have received is that my check-ups have resulted in bruises all over my body and a crack on my skull. It healed, but it changed my life after.

I wonder if he was ever alive. Who is that guy who helps me?

Immersing myself in thinking of the past, I jolted when I felt a warm palm grasping my hands.

My body was shivering, my hands were trembling, and even my legs were shaking. He must feel it.

His gestures surprise me. I clasp my hands when they won't stop shaking, somehow hinting that he is a good man.

He squeezes them gently, like he was helping me to calm down. 

And that surprised me greatly.

He did nothing yet but clasp my hand against his large palm.

I bit my lower lip.

Is he trying to let me become familiar with him?

And I wouldn't say I like this feeling slowly growing inside my chest.