Chapter 4 - First Time

After a quick exit, the driver, who's name I learned was Duke, guided us through the streets to the neighborhood that I would call my future home. It was a quint little area, you could see that homes were so close to completion and I felt a weight beginning to release from my chest. It would be a home for Olivia and I, our safe haven. I felt tears begin to prick my eyes as I met with the men working on the final touches. In a few days I would be moving in and creating a safe space for us. It was more than I had ever dreamed of.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet. I was lost in my own thoughts knowing that in a few hours I would be having dinner with the Beta and Gamma of the Royal family. Would the King show up? He must live a normal life. Every country had their own royal family. Those directly descended from the first werewolves. Men cursed by Zeus himself for falling in love with Selene. Selene, as the stories go, often loved human men which caused great jealousy in Zeus for she would never lay with him. Every human man she laid with, he cursed to become a wolf. The "curse" spread until there were hundreds of thousands of wolves across the globe. The Royal families and the Council had always existed but it wasn't until 1700s that they all agreed to come forth to the world of humans. It took several years but finally there was peace and both humans and shifters began to prosper while living side by side. A hundred years later, more of the supernatural community began coming forward until there was no more hiding for anyone.

Do you think we could find a mate? I know he might not be our fated mate but maybe there's a second chance mate or a chosen mate? Beta Caleb seemed nice. Amara was obsessing, something she never does. It was strange, her sudden desire for a true mate.

Let's get settled and then we can talk about that. I knew she wouldn't relent but my heart couldn't take the thought of more.

You know that there's a Mate Ball at the end of the month, maybe we can go?! She was so hopeful. I couldn't tell her no.

I slipped back through the hotel lobby after saying goodbye to Uncle Kenny, still lost in my own thoughts when the scent from this morning hit me like a wave, only this time slightly stronger. I could tell that it was lingering but the person it belonged to was long gone. It hung in the air and I stood in place with my eyes closed enjoying the warmth it caused in my chest. A feeling of absolute peace, like all my troubles were eased with this one smell. It was unlike anything I had felt before but it was followed with the flutter of realization.

I was hoping you would figure it out on your own. Her voice was a small whisper.

Mate. You knew this morning but didn't say anything? I could feel her pulling away slightly. Not in anger but fear that I would keep her from him, whoever he was.

We have to find him. He's ours, we're his. I didn't want to scare you but I was trying to open you up to the idea that someone is out there for us.

And what if he rejects us? Or he's like Alex and Odin or worse? Then what? You were just saying that we needed to protect ourselves from men and now this?

She grew quiet after that knowing that I would not willingly submit to this crazy goose chase she wanted to lead us on. As I opened the door to my suite the only sound I heard was the soft snores of Olivia and my Mom. Both looked exhausted and judging by the looks of the room, a nap did not happen as planned when I left. I checked the clock on the wall and noticed that I had an hour to freshen up before Caleb and Theo arrived for dinner. I figured I would change clothes and meet them in the lounge to avoid waking up the sleeping princesses but I also was not ready for them to meet my daughter. I was very protective about her meeting new people I was not familiar with. It has caused some problems in the past but I was learning to let go now that she was more vocal about her needs. Not fully knowing Caleb's intentions made me cautious though. He stated that he scanned my file but I didn't know how much he had actually read. I decided it was best to keep Olivia quiet for now until I felt I could trust him, if that was even an option with the Beta Royal. It seemed highly irregular that someone of his status would have dinner with a new pack member – someone of no rank.

I threw on my favorite jeans along with my black boots and a maroon sweater that complimented my fair skin and copper hair. I freshened up my make up and applied a little lip tint. I was feeling slightly more confident compared to earlier. The more I reflected on the feeling the stronger I felt. I could feel Amara more than I had ever before, almost as if she was in the room with me. Her presence was over powering, I could feel her Alpha aura slowly seeping out, a power that she did not possess before. It was hereditary from my father and at this point in my life should be a raging force but because we had been abused and shut away it had effected her negatively. She could have abandoned me but she stayed. She was an incredible wolf. I remember the first time we became one like it was yesterday.

It was my 16th birthday – early for most wolves – I was training with my father. It was sharpshooting that day. I could still feel the wood grain of the rifle in my hands, the smell of the gun oil, the warmth of my father's aura standing a few feet behind me instructing me to slow my breathing. Every one of us had a rifle, bought the year we were born, and had started training at the age of five. My oldest brother, Benton, was a crack shot. He could take out any animal or man from a thousand yards. My older sister, Marianne, wasn't that interested in the training so she sometimes opted out but I loved it. I loved spending time with my father outside in his natural element. He loved the woods and all that it had to offer. He had even built some of the homes that were scattered around our pack with his own hands. He refused to ask anyone to do anything that he wouldn't do himself. He was respected and with the help of my mother the pack had started to flourish and grow. We were still small, only two hundred wolves compared to those surrounding us but more and more pledges were applying to join our ranks because of the extensive training and the equality that my father offered them. He wasn't your average Alpha – pack meetings were discussions not instruction. He always listened to his members and their needs. He was the greatest man I knew.

"Remember. Shoot where they are going to be not where they are. You're moving again. You have to stay still Catie Did or they'll sense you." It was a plastic target on a string. It was too early in the year for deer so Benton and Dad had rigged a practice target to a pulley and Benton was moving the pulley around. I could never sit as still as Benton or my Dad.

"Ugh. I don't feel right. I feel like my body is vibrating." My Dad looked deep in thought while he put his hands on my shoulders. His eyes peering into mine as if searching for an answer.

"Benton! Enough practice today. Get the Doc. Cate's wolf is making her appearance today. We need to prepare. Cate, it'll be okay. Just breath and don't fight the transformation. It'll be painful but so long as you let it happen it should go fast." My heart began racing and I started to panic. I watched as my father mind-link someone, my mother, to let her know of what was happening.

I'm already here. It'll be okay. I'll protect you my little human. Her voice soothed my nerves but I still could do nothing but nod my understanding.

We had gathered into a clearing that my father had designated for those turning for the first time. It was a safe distance from homes and other buildings to protect the wolf and the pack. My mother laid out a golden flower around the outside of the clearing, instructing no one to enter the circle except for me. I could feel the change of energy in the atmosphere, almost like a heavy rain cloud pressing down on me. The sun had just began to set and you could see the soft golden glow peeking through the trees. I watched as my father and mother were deep in discussion, my father seeming rather anxious. My youngest brother, Ray, standing as far back as he could before walking away. It was a lot for an eleven year old to witness for the first time. He had seen plenty of people shift but to witness a shifting for the first time was something else. Benton was standing away from everyone watching me with concern. He was my grounder, the one to reign me in if I lost control. Doctor Narcissa was setting up a small area for once my shift was complete.

It's time. It's going to hurt but I will shield as much of it as I can.

I can't just call you wolf. What's your name?

Amara. Are you ready?

As ready as I'll ever be. The first wave of nausea hit me and I quickly sat on the ground to steady myself. There was an icy cold creeping into my limbs, almost as if I was dipped in Arctic waters. Fear began to spread as the feeling creeped it's way to my heart, fully believing that it would freeze my heart if it was allowed to reach that far. I screamed in terror grabbing my chest praying to the Goddess that I would not die on the forest floor. Soon the frigid feeling was replaced with the slow progression of each bone snapping and realigning. The pain seemed to last for days, each snap reverberating through the woods. I met the eyes of my brother Benton, his concern was now replaced with pure terror. He made a move to enter the circle before my mother grabbed him. I could see her lips moving but could only hear my screams and the shattering of my bones as if they were made of glass. I could feel my limbs going numb, my mind fading, and vision blurring to black before I heard Amara again.

Let go. Trust me and let go.

I had no choice. I allowed myself to fall into the abyss, allowing myself to succumb. The moment seemed to still, I felt frozen in time, my body floating. My vision cleared to grant me the view of a fiery red wolf with glowing blue and gold eyes. She was as large as any Alpha wolf, her paws large and intimidating, she seemed to sense my fear and lowered her head in a bow. It was then that I noticed the scene before me, everyone was frozen but not quite clear, almost as if they were underwater. Everything blurred except the beast in front of me. A dome surrounding us from the outside world, my limbs even felt sluggish. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

I am no beast. I am you. We are one.

"Amara?" My voice sounding foreign to me, "You're beautiful. I've never seen anything like you before. How is this possible?"

We are special. A gift. Don't be scared. We will build your power and strength together.

I blinked and everything returned to normal expect I was now standing on four legs. My first shift complete. I felt the immense power radiating through me, spreading out to those around me and out into the forest. I stomped my paw and let out a roar that shook the nearby trees. The ground vibrating beneath me. Those around me began to bow, each of them letting out a fierce howl as they rose before shifting and taking off for our first run as a family.

I felt Amara's grief thinking about her fallen family and how we couldn't help them. That we had been trapped for years with no relief but I also felt her hope. I knew our powers were slowly growing with each passing day but I knew we also had to be careful. We couldn't allow anyone to know our real secrets or it could lead to more bloodshed and cost us Olivia.