Broken

The hurt I felt in my chest burnt like an inferno. Unable to hold my tears, l let it flow from my eyes like a river as I quickly dress up. I looked back at the door I came out from before turning to find my way out of the penthouse.

The ride back home seemed fast because of the state of my mind when I rightly knew that it took an hour plus. But who cares how many hours it took when I just experienced this level of embarrassment. 

As we reach my home I pay the driver and rush out towards my flat and into my room. Immediately I got into my room I shut the door and I cry, like a child in pains I cried. sliding down the door unto the floor I cried. The scene of everything that transpired playing and replaying in my mind as I cry my eyes out. Regret and hurt the prominent thing I know as of the moment and I cry. 

The first time I decide to give myself to a man and he treats me like nothing, after everything we did together. After making him my first everything. I thought he actually liked me, he told me he liked me, he made me feel special and took me to heights I didn't even know existed. Everything was a joke to him, he just wanted to sleep with me. Who am I kidding, he's a wealthy man and can do anything he wants and can get anything he wants. He wanted me for the night and got me, I feel so stupid, so used, Or did he think I was a prostitute?. As I think on these things the tears pour down without control, my chest begins to tighten, I think I'm having my first heart attack. My chest hurts so bad from the pain I feel. I try to level my breathing by taking deep breaths. After several minutes my breathing calms. I stayed on the floor for hours before eventually deciding to stand up. 

My clothes feel like dirty rags on my skin, I take them of my body and enter the shower. The warm water cascades my body the tears I thought had dried up came rolling down my cheeks. Mixing with the warm water. I scrub my skin so hard, like I'll be able to scrub out this hurt but no matter how much I scrub it still remains. 

By the time I leave the bathroom my head hurts from all the crying. I walk towards my bed and try to sleep, not too long I fall into a long dreamless sleep. 

I am awakened from my sleep by the continuous ringing of my door bell. I groan from the continuous sound, "maybe if I don't answer whoever it is will leave me alone" I tell myself but my assumptions are wrong like everything in my life. Whoever it was at the door is persistent. The persistence makes me leave my room to answer the door. I open the door and Rosie is in front of my door with a scowl on her beautiful face. "Why haven't you replied my messages, where did you run off to last night?, why haven't you gone to see your mum?, why is your phone switched off? and most importantly why are you looking like a truck just ran over you?". She bombards me with questions. "What's wrong?", She asks me again and I don't need to say anything, she hugs me so fast before I can comprehend what's going on. She always knows when something is wrong without me uttering a word. I finally let her into the house. 

"Spill", she said once we've settled down on my bed, "I don't even know where to start from Rosie, a lot happened and…." I sigh. She rubs my back soothingly.

"Okay fine, I had sex with a man " I rushed out and Rosie burst out laughing. " Is that why you're sad?, I know having sex is a big deal but girl…. It's just sex and soon enough you'll have plenty more". She blurts out. "Wait, was it painful, is that why you're sad, or you didn't enjoy it, or wait, you were trying to be celibate all your life and you finally broke that promise to yourself, is that what all this is about?" She laughs hysterically holding her belly and her head is thrown back. When she is done laughing she sees no amusement on my face, only hurt and sadness. She becomes sober and asks me what happened with all seriousness.

"I slept with a man I met at the event, look I had no plans of doing it but when we were at the club I drank a little too much and I needed to use the bathroom, turns out I went to the VIP section and the security wanted to bounce me out and so the man I met at the event intervened then I stupidly followed him home. One thing led to another, he told me he really liked me and I believed him like a fool that i am and eventually we did the did and this morning he told me he didn't know me and kicked me out, I was really hurt I mean we had a beautiful night, I thought I had met the one, only for me to be treated like a piece of rag the next morning. I'm so disappointed in myself, mum and dad would be disappointed too. I told myself I wasn't going to just have sex with any random person but the person that I was in love with but look at me now". My tears which I thought had dried up began to flow again. Rosie immediately locks me in a hug. "Oh Denise, I really don't know what to say now, I'm so sorry for leaving you, it's my fault if I hadn't left you then you won't be in this situation right now, I'm so sorry". She holds me tighter as she comforts me.

We stay there for some time before her phone buzzes and she picks up. When she finally drops the call she looks directly into my eyes again "Denise it's the hospital" My heart sto

ps at her words.