Chapter 07: Fears

Steve clinks his glass with Dr. Erskine's. "To the little guys." Steve move to drink, but Dr. Erskine grabs Steve's glass before he can take a sip.

"What am I doing, you have a procedure tomorrow. No fluids." Dr. Erskine reminded Steve.

"We'll drink it after." Steve said. But Dr. Erskine pours Steve's drink into his.

"I don't have procedure tomorrow." He takes a sip. "Is very good. I save you a little." Then as if remembering something important, he urgently said to Steve. "Mr. Rogers...my daughter, Yumhee. I know that the two of you are in a relationship. Though she doesn't speak to me about the details

...I know...I know that you are very important to her. If you can be so kind, please talk to her before we leave. The events that happened a few hours ago...I saw her reaction. I think the incident really frightened her and only now truly beginning to understand the risks surrounding you both, with the war and the experiment." Dr. Erskine stands. "If I go to her, she would only say she's fine and for me not to worry. Maybe if it's you, she'll open up. Please Rogers, help her." He bid Steve goodnight and left after that.

After thinking about what the Doctor said and arranging his thoughts and emotions about the situation he and Yumhee is in now, he stood, grab his jacket then determinedly walk towards her place.

When Steve arrived at her doorstep, he hesitated to knock at her door. He stood there just looking at the door, seemingly frozen from being too nervous. But before he could do anything, the door opened with a somewhat haggard and surprised Yumhee in front of him. Then the next minute, he saw visibly how she hardened her facial expression and changed her demeanor to an aloof but guarded one. She didn't talk. She just looked at him. Feeling awkward and confused, Steve master all his courage and started talking.

"Yumhee...what's wrong?" He paused for a second trying to see any changes in her expression. "I tried looking for you immediately after we were dismissed. I checked every place I'm allowed to but I couldn't find you." Seeing no changes in her face, he started to get scared and anxious. He almost pleadingly said to her "Yumhee, please talk to me. You know you can talk to me about anything. Yumhee please...say something, anything. Just don't push me away." He hugged Yumhee tightly while silent tears escaped her eyes and her mask starts to crumble. "Don't shut me out. Don't do this to me, to you...to us. I won't let go of you no matter what happens."

Yumhee hugged Steve back and cried miserably in his arms. All her fears and insecurities, she let go all of the pain in that instant. Steve helped her into her bed and just comforted her. He doesn't know when the crying noises stopped. He looked at her face and discovered that she fell asleep. He fixed their position on the bed as much as he can and then hugged her to his chest again. He just lay down there and stared at her sleeping face until he fell asleep himself.

THE NEXT DAY

Steve felt Yumhee trying to leave his arms. He opened his eyes and saw Yumhee's blushing face.

"I'm sorry. I was just going to the bathroom." Yumhee said weakly.

"No, it's okay. It's time anyway to wake up and prepare for the big day." Steve smiled at Yumhee.

When Yumhee retuned, Steve immediately asked her "How are you feeling?"

She sat next to Steve on the bed and snuggled in his arms. "Sorry about yesterday by the way."

"It's nothing. As long as we're okay." Steve said reassuringly.

They stayed quiet for a moment before Yumhee decided to open up. "I guess yesterday's events truly opened my eyes to the possibility of me losing you. It terrified me. After the death of my family, I stopped letting people in my life except for my stepfather. Because truthfully, I'm a coward. I don't want to experience that awfully painful process of losing and moving on."

She paused then looked at Steve in the eyes with her right hand in his left cheek. "But when you entered my life, without me even knowing, I have already lost my heart to you. At first, I decided not to act on it. But when you did...I was powerless to resist. I didn't want to but I have recklessly fallen for your charms." She leans forward and connected their foreheads while holding both his cheeks. She closes her eyes and whispered "You make me want things I'm afraid to have. And the possibility that I might lose you too..."

Steve, for the first time in his life, finally believed that he was worthy to be loved just like any healthy man after hearing such a desperate confession from his lover. "Just as you are afraid to lose me, I too am afraid to be apart from you. Never in my life have I ever believed that I'll find someone who can truly accept all of me. You, Yumhee, make me hope for things I thought weren't meant for me." Steve gently kissed her like he was afraid she might vanished.

"Malaya" Yumhee whispered after the kiss. "My name is Malaya. In English, it's translated as free. When war broke out, I thought it was very ironic. Then after arriving here, I thought it was my purpose in life...freeing the next generation from such oppression." She started to smile while looking at Steve. "But right now, that's what you make me feel."

"Malaya" Steve smiled widely after knowing his lover's real first name. "No matter what happens today or in the future, I will always be here for you. Even when you don't see me, hear me or feel me." Steve points to her head and heart. "I'm here and here. You're memories of me and the feelings I invoke in you will remind you always that I'm with you, like your family above. No one is truly dead until they are forgotten."

After talking for a few more minutes, the both of them finally settled their feelings and decided to be strong for each other. When it was almost 8am, they reluctantly separated.

"Then see you later hot stuff." Yumhee giggled a little.

When Steve was almost at the entrance, she called to him. "Steve..." He looked back at her. "Thank you." She smiled warmly at him which he returned.

"Just remember that you can always talk to me about anything. And I'm always here for you. Always." Then he left her room and both of them started to prepare for the day.