Chapter 8: Heat

It has been a week since the attack and I still was shaken up by it. But it was a good thing I stocked up on pads when I did, because it was that time of the month again. I started to stay in our bedroom most of the time now, but when I would talk with Jay and Liz about what happened they understood why I wouldn't be over something like that.

Leo was working hard on the packs defenses and on trying to fix the metal door from the safe room. He was acting more strictly on where I am and would ask me or tell me to tell him where I'd be going. It was fine to me, but when I'd ask if he was feeling okay he would seem to act like he had clue what I had said or like he didn't hear me. When he did that I frowned and was going to walk away from his desk where I've seen him be at throughout the day. I felt he needed to take it easy especially since his right shoulder was still trying to heal up from his bullet wound. I felt even when I'd ask if he had any of the forms I could fill out he wouldn't talk to me much before returning to getting work done. Sometimes at night was when he'd get dressed and got out to patrol with the warriors. It made me realize when this happened that I felt kinda lonely. I wanted to sleep but as I tried I found myself having a hard time sleeping when I started to have nightmares.

When he'd come back he would notice me being up still even at eleven at night. He would get into some clean clothes and into the bed ask me why I was still up. I told him that I tried but had a nightmare and was having a hard time getting back to sleep. He laid down and faced me and let me rest against him as I tried to get some more sleep. I noticed he leaned his head down and smelled me; which made me ask curiously

" Leo...what is it you smell when you're smelling me? " He seemed a little surprised by my question because I noticed he seemed to calm down when he smelled me, and the way he was able to find me by my scent still was a bit of a mystery to me. After a bit he responded

" You smell kinda heady and comforting, and it's similar to the smell of a sweet, dry and resinous multi layered scent, with spicy, earthy rich undertones. When you get a shower you smell fresher and your scent is clearer more like a pleasant, newly made smell that is clean, clear, cool, crisp, refreshing, sweet, and warm. Why'd you ask? " I felt silly and nervous of what he'd think.

" Um...I was just noticing..that you smell my scent and you seem to relax, but I wouldn't know what I smell like. So, I just was wondering that's all... " he seemed to understand but I ended up asking him looking up at his eyes

" Is your shoulder doing okay? " he patted my head and said giving me a small smile " It's doing fine. Now try and get some sleep. " I could tell he wasn't lying but I still felt like he wasn't taking it too seriously. I started to agree and started to fall asleep soon afterwards.

I woke up when it was morning and noticed that Leo was still sleeping and it made sense since he's been working so hard lately and working late hours too. I can still feel him holding me in his arms like a pillow; which made me feel kinda flustered but also kinda happy to see his sleeping face. It looked carefree and yet slightly like he was sleeping deeply. As my hands rested against his chest I remembered that he was the Alpha and yet he didn't quite look like it right now.

I felt like I just wanted to sleep or just lay here with him as long as I could before he'd have to wake up and do his work. I slowly slid out of his arms trying not to wake him as I was heading for the bathroom. Once I was done and washed my hands I found as I opened the door that I saw that Leo was still sleeping and I noticed that as I approached the bed. That he was holding onto the pillow I had put in my place till I got back. I smiled at how cute he looked and wanted to see him like this more often. I grabbed my phone and zoomed in on his face and proceeded to take a picture, but just after I took it he opened his eyes

" If you post or show that picture to anyone I'll break your phone. " he said it grumbling since he still seemed sleepy and his eyes looked tired. I smiled and said teasing him

" Awe, but I already took it. Plus, I'd bet that Jay or Liz would like to see this. " that made him grab my wrist that held my phone and pulled me back onto the bed.

" Delete it, I'll break or through this across the room! " he was using his Alpha voice and it made me nervous as I said looking down frowning

" Okay.... " " You know I was just trying to mess with you..." he looked at me and let go of my wrist and stopped trying to get the phone as I said smiling fondly

" Remember, you messed with me by saying that you looked at me sleeping. I was trying to do the same thing, but I also was trying to have a picture of you looking so relaxed. " I noticed he moved his right hand through his hair and brushed his face as he had his eyes closed and sighed

" I'm sorry....." then he laid back down on his side as he grabbed my arm and started to pull me into him like he wanted to go back to sleep. He moved his hand down to my waist and wrapped his arm around me like I was a stuffed animal like a stuff teddy bear. He let me keep my phone and the picture, because I don't think I'd show anyone it. Because I'd just like to look at it every now and then since it's the only picture I really have of him. I knew the only reason he was acting grumpy was because he still needed to get some sleep. It was kinda nice just letting him hold me, but once it go to ten in the morning was when I tried to slip away but couldn't escape.

Once it got to 10:32 was when I got out and put a blanket over him. I've grown to understand that he has to do a lot since I haven't taken all the Luna responsibilities from him yet. I walked over to his desk and as I read through some of the papers that weren't done. I stopped at one that caught my attention. It was the fact that with the rouges that attacked are pack they managed to wound a lot of are warriors from the gun shots, and Leo has been working on the things that they would usually do. This way his warriors can have some free time to get better and as I looked at the list of names I noticed that that was twenty percent of are warriors.

Because of this and me nearly getting taken by their leader that's why he's starting to push himself too thin, and he got hurt like them as well. He never told me, and as I looked at the new stacks of paper on his desk. I knew that those were supposed to be sent to the warriors and he had them brought to him. I started to try and go through the papers wanting to do what I can to lessen the load. I even tried to do some of the papers that he was doing for me. I sat in his chair and was set again reminded of how short I was when I sat down in comparison to him.

Once I was done after an hour or two I noticed that I got a lot of the pile-at least-half of it done. I would have organized his desk top but didn't want to disrupt the way he does his work process. I had texted Liz to bring me my breakfast when I started that way I could eat and work.

But as I stood up from his chair and desk I noticed Leo was waking up. I walked over to the bed and looked at his messy black hair. I didn't tell him what I did but I held the stack of papers that I did in my hands behind my back. He seemed more energized now that he got some rest, but that only made him look at the paperwork on his desk and before I made it to the door

" Where are the rest of the papers? " he asked looking at me as I froze now holding the papers in my arms.

" I um...I did these for you. They're all the ones I would have done earlier but did them too...lighten the load. " I felt I didn't like the idea of hiding something from him but at the same time didn't like being caught either. He was standing up and walked over to me to look at them. When he did he smiled and handed them back to me. He moved his right hand to my cheek

" Thank you, Autumn. " he leaned his head down and kissed my cheek and then when he removed his hand I smiled too as I looked at him as I walked out the door as he was heading to his desk. As I walked through the hall a guard was ready to take the papers, and as I was walking with smile on my face I realized that because of my light skin that I must be blushing like crazy. I wanted to see if anyone needed my help, but everyone was busy.

I went back to the bedroom since I knew I wasn't needed at the daycare today. I opened the door and when I turned around I noticed that Leo wasn't at his desk. I noticed as I got closer to the couch that Leo walked out with a trash bag from the bathroom. I tried to erase all traces of my blood so as to not make it noticable. He looked at me and said walking to the door

" Sorry, the smell was distracting to where I couldn't concentrate. " Liz was the one he gaze to bag too behind the door before leaving immediately. He smelt the air as I kept my head down feeling embarrassed. He stopped in place for some reason, the sight of him looking at me freeze in place, his breath catching in his throat, his blood heating in his veins. His inner wolf immediately awakened and fixed its attention on the me with an intensity he'd never shown before. I noticed his eyes were shifting to black and that he was starting to growl.

" Um..is everything okay? " his eyes shifted back and he brushed it off like he wasn't dealing with something. But then as we are eating lunch I felt a little self-conscious because he was looking at me eat.

He watched as I ate a bit of my sandwich then licked my lips. I herd him muffle under his breath something that sounded like damn but he wanted to taste me, to press his lips to mine. He wished I would look his way. Would I feel the same pull between us that he was experiencing? I became aware of this all the way he was looking at me.

[ Alpha Leo POV ]

The idea of another male looking at Autumn made my inner wolf bristle. A part of me wishes for her to always be in my arms and not seen by anyone else. Just to keep her close, but I know that she's her own person and she should try to meet others. When she was in trouble and I stopped the rouges leader. I hated how close he got to doing something horrible. But I was more angry that I wasn't able to be there when she was being put through what she went through. It made me so made that as she cried all I could do was be there for her to cry on. She's been getting better but I know she's trying to move on from something like that, we all are.

She's so young and beautiful and I can see her bearing many fine pups to build the pack. The gods decided that we were to meet and we would be with one another. I could drown in a sea of her scent and feel at peace. The first time Autumn went into heat she seemed to handle the pain pretty well and with me helping her feel cold she was able to endure the heat. But right now as she's dealing with her period I'm dealing with rut.

Rut is the overwhelming need to breed. Alphas generally go into rut every three months, though with a bonded mate, their ruts may align with their partner's heats. Ruts tend to make Alphas more aggressive toward any other Alphas who might come near their mate. Most Alphas get very overprotective of mates they think of as in their care as the rut takes hold. Generally much more sexually active during a rut, since the biological drive to breed is what is guiding them. An Alpha can have a much easier time being alone during a rut than an mate in heat.

In a bonded pair, when the rut coincides with heat, it tends to make both much more intense. The hormones are essentially doubled, as they are both feeding into each other. Bond-mated Alphas may find themselves growling at anyone who comes near their home, and their protective side is amplified significantly. With a Bond-mate, Alphas have been known to go into rut at every one of their heats. This often leads to time off of work for the 4-7 days of heat/rut, plus an extra day for returning back to normal hormone levels.

Rut can be suppressed, just as heat can, though most doctors suggest not doing so. The suppressants for rut are far less tested and regulated, and there are case studies that have shown that being on suppressants for an Alpha can act like a neutering. Rut may be lost to them forever. Scent suppressants are effective, and can help the Alpha get through a sudden or unexpected rut without drawing attention to their situation. We've learned about rut and heat since high school, and sometimes I feel like I just want Autumn so badly that it makes it hard to hold back. I've tried to comfort Autumn and when it comes to the signs of a heat approaching I confirm with her so that she's aware, but I feel like being there for her only makes things more difficult on my end. In the end, I just want things to be perfect between us.

[ Autumn POV ]

I think that my periods are starting to coincide with my heat attacks. But I think I'm starting to go into pre-heat. I've been wanting to sleep in more than normal and I've been really hungry than normal. When Leo leaves to train the warriors I found myself making the bed not feel so big by getting more blankets and pillows almost putting pillows on every corner of the bed.

Three to five days before heat begins, a human will go into what is known as pre-heat. During this time, they will have the urge to start to nest. Nesting is generally making up a small, comfortable place to ride out a heat. The area will be filled with blankets, pillows, and things that remind them of their Alpha. Oftentimes, humans also find themselves being extremely hungry during pre-heat, as their bodies are trying to compensate for when heat itself hits and the girl has little care for eating or drinking. They may sleep more during a pre-heat to conserve the energy they will need for their heat, and often find themselves overheating mildly, especially while asleep. Pre-heat ends when the human goes fully into heat.

I knew one thing for certain about this next heat. It's going to be hell. I'm having cramps from my period and with the extra strong ones from the heat it's going to be even worse than last time. I just want to wait out this next heat alone so I can deal with it myself, but Leo has been never leave my side unless he need to get me food or water. He has made it clear that he wants to be a part of this to help me the best he can. He keeps a watchful eye over me, listening to me and caring for me. All the attention is a little embarrassing. Last time since a heat lasts for four to seven days I was sleeping a lot about twelve hours a day and barely had the motivation to stay up long enough to eat as this happened for almost a week. Once the post heat time passes, the human's body continues on its cycle, and in two to three weeks, it will all start anew.

This means that once my body got back to normal was when everything was going to start again. It was time to sleep for the night and I wanted to ask Jay and Liz about their experiences with heat and how to deal with it, since after the first time I was tired and felt drained. They told me that for them they gave in around the third heat around the twenty second and the twenty third day. Then Jay said that this make....toys for these situations. My face became a tomato and Jay laughed expecting a reaction like this from me as Liz scolded her for mentioning it.

I just want to deal with it later and try to forget this heat that's approaching. I went to bed but felt like Leo was being a bit more...affectionate which I understood since he's going through something too. I felt him holding be from behind and ever often would try and rub against my mark which didn't help me want to go to sleep or at least feel tired. I would make him stop but let him hold me as a compromise.

It was eight in the morning and I jolted awake and found myself feeling like I was getting a begins with fever. I went out of bed even though my feet and legs felt like they were getting weaker.

I got close to the bathroom and I was hit by mild cramping, increased slick, and then increased pheromone production. I tried not to groan because I didn't want to wake Leo. But my period was against me and made the cramps have a extra boost. I managed to change pads and only kept Leo's big baggy t-shirt over me as I turned on the shower to make it cold. I was in intense pain and could barely stand up anymore. I tried to hide my pain and I groaned as I tried to stand up from the shower floor.

Leo must have sensed something was wrong because he woke up and rushed into the bathroom opening the door " Autumn?! " He said and then he smelled and realized what was happening, I was in heat. He looked at me on the floor of the shower only in a t-shirt covering me.

His eyes went black and he looked like he was struggling with how much of my pheromones I was producing. The cold water helped but it wasn't very effective. He looked me up and down and I could tell he was having an internal battle with his wolf as his eyes shifted between colors. He quickly turned around and left closing the bathroom door behind him as I could hear him panting and trying to calm down as he stood against the door. I was panting and felt like my body was on fire, and my heart was starting to race even faster.

The increased pheromones are biology's way of luring mates, and it signals to any Alphas in the area that the mate is fertile. Betas may also feel the pull to breed with anyone in heat, but the draw on them is far less than it is on Alphas because of them being very possessive the desire makes it hard not to especially if they're going through rut. During these heats, the hormones in a human go all crazy. A strong scent is released during the heats, causing the Alphas to smell it and chase after the human. I appreciated him holding back so well for me, I truly do.

I felt the heat really gets going, slick production was ramping up even further. The desire to mate becomes anywhere from a low-grade need that is easy to brush off to a desire that, if not relieved in some way, can become almost entirely debilitating. That's what happened the first time, and I couldn't move afterwards which Leo helped carry me to the bed as he took the couch just to be safe.

Some unmated mates of werewolves may lock themselves into their room or nest voluntarily to stop themselves from trying to convince others to help them through heat. It sounded like a good idea, but as the water dripped from the ends of my hair and the ends of the sleeves I found myself thinking about Leo and it made me feel worse as the heat made me almost want to call out his name, but I stopped myself before anything could come out. The whole week I did this same thing, and Leo was trying to get used to controlling himself by staying away from me. But on the seventh day Leo came back in a while later and he had some clean dry clothes, but I tried to hide my face. I looked down so I wouldn't look at him and make my current state worse.

" Are you doing okay? " he looked at me and I could feel the heat wave going down and I could actually feel really cold like ice cold. I started to hold myself as I tried to make my breathing more steady even though I was starting to shake from the cold. That I think was his sign that it was over for day 8 of putting up with a heat, because he turned the water off and the air on my soaked body made me feel child to the bone. He started to move towards me in the shower and I started move make shore that the shirt was covering me and moving away from him. All I was looking at was his legs getting closer. I started to notice that as the water had stopped that my eyes were crying. I feel like I hate this heat, it's supposed to break down whatever will you have to giving into giving yourself away till it wears you down. I felt like crying even more now. I felt scared of the fact that I'm demobilized right now, and I'm not shore how long Leo will restrain himself. When he was about to move his hand towards me

" Don't touch me! " my voice sounded like it was terrified as it seemed like yelled it. He froze as was standing on his knees " Autumn..." he sounded concerned as I moved my hands from holding my knees to digging into my wet hair

" I..I can do this on my own. " my voice was quieter as said keeping my head down feeling this heat take a lot out of me than I thought it was able to.

" I'll keep on fighting this fight as long as I have to...even if it wears down at whatever is left. " I started to hear myself sobbing " I may not be very strong, but even so. Even if it hurts and feels like hell to do it...I'd rather be hurt and worn down as it starts over....then feel broken giving into it anyway for the rest of my life! " this made me start to cry even more as I kept looking down as the drain was draining the water and tears that were falling off of me.

He had had his left hand resting on the tile floor of the shower as his right slowly was reaching for my face but he stopped and pulled it back. I just want to feel safe and not pressured and have to go through this. But then he broke the silence of me crying

" I'm sorry...." he sounded like he was going to cry by how it hung in his voice. I stopped and looked up slightly and I noticed my eyes widening as I noticed Leo was having his head bowed down to me, him an Alpha showing a sign of submission to me a human. His head facing down in front of me

" I made you a promise, remember? " " I said that I would never let anyone else touch you, and that included me. " this made lift my head as I listened to him

" I'll make sure that you never have to feel scared or like you're alone ever again. You give me strength, the strength to try and do my best and the support to keep being a great Alpha. " I felt like my heart was starting to ache as my eyes were drying out of tears.

" But you are also my weakness, when you're scared I want to do what I can to make you not scared. " " When you cry, " I herd him speaking through a gimmes

" When you cry I can't stand it! even if it's me causing it, I..I want to make you smile and take what you're being put through for you and take it for myself. But the one thing I don't want most....is for you to be scared of me! " His voice sounded like he was reaching a limit too.

Then after a while he said sounding sad almost like he was going through something painful

" I've..I've been falling...in love with you, but if there isn't a bigger weakness then that it's that...I want you. I'll do whatever you want from me....I don't care..if it means that you might.." he started to slowly lift his head and his eyes were closed.No one not even him has told he...loves me. I felt something in me react and held onto his neck with my arms wrapped around him

" Leo.." I said feeling sad and surprised at how much he's telling me and I'm unable to do anything but listen. That I held onto him with whatever strength I had left in my body because my head and body felt limp as I felt him being surprised as my head was resting against his. He was looking at my head now and I felt myself say weakly

" I'm not trying to hurt you Leo...I'm sorry" I slowly felt him move his right hand to hold my right shoulder which felt kinda warm. He closed his eyes and leaned his head into mine as I herd him say under his breath

" I'm not going to let someone else I care about break on me. " It surprised me but I decided not to say anything. I started to feel him lift me up as he stood on one leg slowly lifting me from me holding his neck and his left arm scooped me up.He held me by holding me from the back of my thighs which the shirt covered. He stood up and walked me out of the shower and he put me down on the bathroom counter. He got a dry towel and started to slowly pat me down trying to get me dry. He was able to make my hair as dry as it could get before him asking me a little blush showing on his cheeks

" Do you need me to change you? " I felt tired and thought that I was able to do it myself, but all I could move was my hands a little. He understood that I was too tired to deal with being embarrassed or to hold it against him. He started by using the towel to cover me once he quickly removed the t-shirt. Then he got another t-shirt that was dry and clean and moved my arms up one at a time like I was a doll. He got some shorts and let me put on the pair of underwear that had a clean pad on it on as he walked out of the bathroom leaving the door open as he was putting the towel and the dirty clothes away. When I was done he walked in and he leaned forward letting me drape my arms around his neck which was actually right in front of me. Then he held me side saddle as he took me to the bed. It was getting late and at this time of the heat being back down for a while. Now was the perfect time to get something light and easy to eat down, and I had to drink as much water as possible. I was having a heard time keeping myself awake once he put me down on the bed. It was a little cold but the blankets were making it hard not to be comfortable.

Leo tried to get me to eat as much as I could and drink too, once I was done though I quickly start to take a nap. Leo and me made it through the week but then I felt him sit on the side of the bed. He leaned his head and rested his forehead on mine as I felt him hold my face in his left hand. It felt so warm and I unconsciously held his hand against my face with my hands feeling myself lean into it. He slid into the bed just as I turned on my side still holding him. He wrapped himself around me moving the covers over us as I let go of his hand and snuggled up against him. Feeling really warmer as I was out cold and nothing was going to wake me up.

It was in the afternoon when I woke up, and I still felt really sleepy. I looked around sleepy eyed and noticed that Leo was starting to wake up too. Then something he said hit me like someone threw it at my head and it just stuck as I remembered what he said

" I'm not going to let someone else I care about break on me. " I then asked almost as if he just said it to me because I was still sleepy to be in the right mindset and I asked as he sat up

" Leo? What did you mean by someone else you care about breaking on you? " He almost froze stiff and after a while I started to rub my eyes and was slowly sitting up too but then he put on a smile and held my face in his left hand

" Don't worry about it, are you starting to feel better now? " I answered but realized that I just asked him something like that and what he said last night. He said that he was falling in love with me. Him holding my face only made my face heat up, but then I tried to think about it further and it only made me start to blush. This he noticed and smiled a realer smile then the one he had on. I then started to feel happy seeing him smile like that.

" You know that real smile is more convincing than your fake one, right Leo? " he seemed surprised that I could tell the difference, but then he moved his hand down and said

" I guess I'm not as subtle as I thought. Look Autumn, " he wasn't smiling anymore and was looking more serious then before. I then said trying to take back my question because I really shouldn't do this right now, but he started before I could say anything.

" I haven't really told you about my mom before. She was a kind and giving person, but she was very reserved when it came to things that were important to her and she protected it with all her heart. She was a really great Luna. " I smiled a little at how nice his mom sounded.

" She had really light brown hair that was to her shoulders with a light complexion that made her almost golden eyes stand out even more. She was really a beautiful woman. " she sounded so nice but his eyes looked sad even though he was smiling a little. Then I asked trying not to open a wound or over step.

" Was? " his hand grasped the sheets under it tightly for a while before speaking again almost like he was debating with himself. I felt as I looked at his face that he was struggling, but I moved my hand on top of his making him glance at me as I felt really worried now.

His face started to soften before he opened up again

" My dad, wasn't very lenient as he was trying to change all of the ways of the past. When he found my mom, he was in the process of trying to change the ways of the Black Sun pack. But that didn't mean he was going to be able to change himself. Instead, he used are beliefs and are religion to justify himself for not taking it on himself to change how he acts. " " When my mom went into heat, he didn't try to help her get threw it. He took advantage of the situation, claiming that it would make her feel better and that it would make shore that he'd have a child with her. " " She wasn't really herself that much after that. She began to resent him for it and never really forgave him for that. " I felt surprised since he seemed to talk so highly of him, or at least in what he accomplished. It explained why when he was telling me about him that he took a while to dress him as someone nice.

" One day, she called him out on how he was a fake and a liar for not treating her like an equal. He got really really angry at this, and he hit her across the face making her fall to the ground. When that happened...she was pregnant with me. " I felt myself clench his hand which made him notice I was getting a little scared imagining going threw that..it must have been horrible. Once I relaxed a bit he continued

" When they were getting ready for me. My mom was the one who still stood despite the fact that he was making her resent him even further. She said that she was going to demand that he'd shape up when I'd be born, so that I don't have to grow up with the two of them fighting. He for once agreed and excepted that and probably that was the only decision they both agreed on together. " " Once I was born my dad turned over a new leaf, but even though he acted the part. My mom still wasn't seen as an actual parent who had equal say on how I was raised. " " That would turn out to be the fight that was the first one I ever saw of them. " " The fight was about what I should be taught as I grew up. My father wanted me to fill in his shoes and be as possessive, controlling, and hard-headed as he was. To teach me to make people fall in line. "

" My mom wanted to make me grow up into everything that my father wasn't to her. To respect, and care for everyone. To know how to treat a woman right, and to have a better control and understanding of the needs of a mate and still be able to be a fare and brave Alpha one day. " " I was eight when it happened, and after that fight my mom's heart broke and she gave up on finding love for herself after that. But I wanted to protect my mom and when I was twelve I stood in front of her when he wanted to hit her again. After that my mom was able to teach me how to be great at what my dad wanted me to get rid of when he'd teach me to not show that you're an Alpha and to show that you're not going to take anything from anyone and demand respect. " " But when I got older they both decided to as mates to reject each other and that was before they retired and I took over. "

But then he said leaning towards my head and trying to wrap it up smiling at me " That's why I'm not going to be like my dad and hurt someone who's special enough to be a part of my life, and I'm not going to ever hit or hurt you. " I felt myself feel happy that he's being so open he is being so open with me. I started to think if I should tell him about my birth father and my mother, but I wanted to open up too and I told him about it. Once I was done I felt a lot lighter and I could tell that he felt really happy that I told him when he smiled at me. I felt him kiss my cheek but then he looked at me and I knew he wanted to kiss me on the lips. I actually wanted to as well and kissed his lips so he could. I felt him kissing me back and I felt his hands moving to hold my shoulders as I started to slowly wrap my arms around his neck.