Chapter 9: Letters

I found I'm able to do a lot more than I had before when I arrived here at the pack house. I've gotten used to dealing with these heat attacks, but I've begun to feel more comfortable around Leo. I've been starting to feel these feelings when Leo would hold me or kiss me that's been making me feel like I want to be kiss him more and more. I've started to at certain times when he is holding me lean into him or peak him on the cheek; which that makes him smile and look down at me with a soft smile that makes me feel really happy. Sometimes he'd smile and lean head down to nuzzle me with his head or give me a real kiss.

Later on I've noticed that he'd give me a lot of affection and he'd act so sweet. Like if I'm reading a book once when he came back from patrol and I looked up from the book and he held out a lily he got for me. He does sweet things like that when he's really busy and doesn't have enough time to see me. I've still tried to do some work on helping the daycare, but then one day he visited me at the daycare. I was holding onto Anna in my arms and he came up and had a look on his face like he was concentrating on something as he had a mischievous smirk on his face.

" What? " I asked looking at him confused. Then he said shrugging as he stood in front of me as Anna looked at him

" Nothing, I was just thinking about something. " then Anna said looking up at him " Are you Autumn's boyfriend? " he looked down at her as I did too surprised at her asking that and he said smiling and messing with her hair

" Well, she kinda is my girlfriend but she's also my mate, you little cutie. " She frowned at him messing with her hair then yelled angrily

" I don't like you! You meant! And you don't deserve Autumn! " Then I said panicked at her before I had to let her go to run off.

" Anna! You don't say something like that. " I felt myself blush slightly as she ran off but then Leo walked over to me. I looked up at him and said

" Sorry about that. " then he wrapped his left arm around my waist as he had this right hugged around my shoulders. He rested his chin on my left shoulder and he said calmly

" It's alright, but I do like kids though. " he smiled and nudged into my mark

" But I liked seeing you holding her up like that. It makes me feel like....I can't wait for you and me to have are own pups. " I felt my face heat up as it blushed scarlet red. Then he smirked into me as I started to stutter

" Uh....Leo?! We're in public..." Then he whispered into my ear " It's alright, besides I haven't seen you since this morning. " Then I remembered what he just said and felt the topic of kids very nerve racking and I answered

" And about that...we'll talk about it later. " I said whispering nervously then he let go of me and tried to take me with him outside, but as we walked and talked the topic of kids was haunting my mind. Then I noticed the fact that I can't shake the topic anymore and it's really concerning me. We got to the pack house and Liz had made sandwiches for everyone and she had left along with everyone else. As we were eating I brought the topic up keeping my eyes down.

" Um..Leo. " " About having kids I um..." he looked at me and moved to hold my hand and I knew he was listening intently.

" I don't think that..I'm ready to have a kid yet. " " I know you want them, but I'm not quite ready for being a mother...let alone a parent. " I said feeling a little guilty about letting him down but then he said calmly

" I get it. I mean, I'm not exactly ready to raise a kid either. I do want them but I don't want to force the idea on you though, so it's okay if you aren't ready. " That made me breath a big sigh of relief then when we finished eating I started to feel this strange feeling in my stomach. Then Leo said to me

" Autumn, there's a meeting that I have to attend today with all the Beta's and the Zeta. I need you to come with me to it as I start to give a speech on how to welcome the new warriors and who I'll give direction to. " He seemed to talk about that like a person would if they were at least ten years older than he was.

" Okay, will it run long? " I asked as we were in are room and he was looking threw his closet.

" It shouldn't if there aren't any issues that are going to take longer to resolve. " I then thought about what I'd wear but as I was looking threw my bag I stumbled across the pictures I packed. I found myself looking at the one with Summer and me in it. I got interrupted when I herd Leo say

" You getting ready yet? " I put the picture away and smiled and said " Yeah, I'm just trying to pick out what to wear. " Then he walked into the bathroom and he said giving me a peak on the cheek

" You can wear that white dress and black over coat. " he said looking into my closet. I thought that be nice since I liked that outfit since it's formal and nice to wear. I then said that I'd wear that then he picked it out and gave it to me. But then as I was going to close the door with him standing outside the door he said smiling at me with a smirk

" If you want I can watch you get ready or help you get dressed. " he was trying to tease me I got that but I rolled my eyes even though once I closed the door I felt self-conscious about him possible going to open the door while I'm changing. I even yelled at him to get changed too which I could hear him chuckling slightly. I got dressed and I walked with Leo who was wearing a very loose looking black t-shirt and jeans and I noticed that when we were walking to the room we have meetings in that I recognized the packs only Zeta, Randell. We walked into the meeting room and as Leo sat down in his chair and I noticed that Zeta Randell was paying attention to me and held his dark navy blue eyes on me almost like a hard gaze. It made me feel nervous what was it he was looking at me for? Then I felt Leo grab my wrist and then he looked at me with a look was asking me what was bugging me.

I smiled to say that I was fine as the meeting started I stood to the right of his chair. Leo talked about the recent increase in numbers of men and women wanting to become warriors over the course of the last month. Then he addressed Zeta Randell who is the only Zeta in the pack.

Because Zetas are the highest ranking warriors in the pack, often called the "Generals". Although they take direct orders from the Alpha, they are in charge of their own armies and war plans. Zetas often train the younger members who show promise as warriors, and ready them to either be an Eta, or to take his or her place as the Zeta. Their is usually only one Zeta per pack, but there can be up to three of them if the population is high enough.

" Zeta Randell, you will be taking in and training these new warriors. You will be assisted by Beta Nick and Epsilon Ron to deal with these growing numbers. " I kinda liked how he sounds in his Alpha voice and acts so confident and direct. But then I noticed that Zeta Randell seemed completely confident and from what I could tell. Leo seems to have complete faith in Randell. Once the meeting was over and everyone was leaving the room I looked at Leo and was asking him about whether or not the number of papers for application would go down or not now.

As we were leaving I felt myself get pinned to the wall of the hallway. The back of my head hit the wall making me wince once I looked at who it was. Like I thought it was going to be it was Zeta Randell, and his dark blue were full black and he was leaning his head close to my face. As was saying panicked he sniffed my my face and was moving down

" What are you?!- " I tried to push him away only to have him pin my wrist's to the wall. Then I herd him say quietly as he was growling

" The scent is almost gone...." " You're the one who said it was your sister right? Where is she? " I felt a strong sense of desperation coming threw his voice. But I wasn't going to let my anger at this guy going unanswered for this.

" I'm not letting you anywhere near my sister, and you get off of me! " I gritted my teeth as I tried to struggle against his grip but then he said slamming my hands back into the wall above my head.

" You can't keep her away from me as much as you might want to keep her safe, bug I am NOT going to let you keep me from my mate! " He growled but then I felt the fear I felt get ignored by the idea of Summer being found by this guy. I know as long as I have any strength I'm going to keep her safe. But then I felt my arms suddenly we released and in a flash I saw Leo pinning Randell to the floor growling sounding startlingly enraged

" What the heck are you doing to her?! " I was rubbing my wrists as Randell growled back being defiant despite the fact that the Alpha is pinning him down

" I'm sorry Leo, but I won't be kept from finding my mate because she refuses to give me what I need to find her! " He was silenced after Leo snarled angrily

" That doesn't give you the right to touch her! I understand you Randell, but that means you should be damn aware that if you ever touch her again..then I will make sure you have an even bigger problem. "

I could hear slight sympathy in his voice but then he said the rest and I could hear he was cold and sounded dead serious. It made me worried for Randell and for him. He got up off of him and Randell sat up looking nervous and disparaged. I may not like him but I couldn't help but wonder what Leo meant.

I snapped out of it when Leo said looking concerned as he looked me up and down.

" Autumn, are you alright? " I nodded trying to give him a reassuring smile, but I once I said that I'm fine he looked at my hands that I was holding and leaned his head against mine and asked in a whisper

" Are you sure? " I looked down at my hands and realized that they were shaking a little. I didn't even notice it till now. Then I felt him hold me in his arms as he held the back of my head and I could feel and hear him taking a couple deep breaths in as he was inhaling my scent. I could tell he was trying to calm down and relax his breathing. I leaned my head against him as my hands were against his chest as I was trying to calm down too. My hands stopped shaking and I noticed that Randell was still on the ground but to my surprise he was kneeling on one knee as he had his head held down his hands in fists as they were on the ground. Leo still held me but looked back at Randell and said seeing him on the ground and then Randell said sounding calmer

" Luna Autumn, I ask that you forgive me for my actions here today. " I wanted to understand what could make his actions justifiable? I could tell that Leo was still pissed off and was checking me to see if I'd forgive him. In the end I asked

" What exactly should I forgive you for? You assaulting me? You demanding for me to tell you where you can take my sister? " As I was talking he could tell that I wasn't happy and Leo knew I was still pretty mad still and I don't get angry easily. Then I asked calmly but I could hear the sternness in my own voice

" Look, l don't understand your reasons but I'll make this perfectly clear. My sister is the most important thing in the world to me, and I will protect her from people who I don't think is worthy of even being near her. So I'm sorry if I'm making it harder, but I do that to look out for her even though I'm here. " I could tell that both of them were looking at me almost like they were surprised with the look on my face that wasn't scared of him.

" You were right, I can't stop you from eventually finding her. But I want to make myself clear. " " Until that day comes, I want you to prove to me that you are someone I'd be able to make peace with being with my sister. So until then you better make a better impression or when that day actually comes I will not be supporting you. " " So if you are so serious about her; I want on the day of the ceremony that I can be the one to give my world to you and feel content with who I'm giving her to. Understood? "

Randell looked at me and I could tell he had a bit of hope in his eyes at my offer. I could hear Leo whisper in my ear " Really? Are you sure you're going to give him a chance? " I then looked back at Leo and whispered back in his ear

" I was scared that I'd be picked by someone who wasn't right for me, but now..I have you. I'm going to find out about him so I can help my sister in finding if he's right for her. It will help her when she comes to grip with the same situation as me. " his head was to my left blocking me from Randell's view as he kept an eye on him. I felt myself feel happy when I said how I have Leo now and I felt myself move my lips back down as I kissed his cheek gently before he nodded agreeing with my choice and pulled his head back so Randell can see my face again.

" Well? Do you except my offer? and in exchange I'll tell you a bit about her if you gain my trust first. " He seemed confused and asked

" But I don't understand, why would you give me this after you haven't said whether you forgive me for what I've done? " I then looked up from him and said

" Stand up. " he hesitantly stood up after glancing at Leo who gave him a half cold look that only made him stand up nervously. I looked at Leo and pulled away from his grip which he kept a close eye on what I was going to do next.

I walked in front of Randell and I looked up at him and said with a blank expression that reflected that I was calm and wasn't mad. I looked him in the eye, his chin length blond hair was messy and his clothes looked a little ragged from him being on the floor.

" I don't need to forgive you, Zeta Randell. Because I've already forgotten about it. I've excepted it as something that happened, but the only thing that is of any importance to me is whether or not these kinds of things repeat. " " I want to get to know you so I can see what is just an act of instinct or if it's a part of your character. " " This is why I highly suggest you should take my offer and make a better imagine of who you are in my eyes, or I won't take any future incidents like this one as lenient as I am now. " He seemed by the look on his face surprised but understood the situation. He then answers bowing at the waist

" Uh yes! I'll do my best to be worthy of this chance, Luna Autumn. " I smiled and said good as I walked back to Leo as we were going to go back to are bedroom. But as we were alone again I sighed and plopped onto the couch laying on my back feeling drained and I opened my eyes when Leo looked at me and asked smiling a little

" Are you alright? " I stretched and then said looking at him standing in front of the couch.

" Yeah, at least this way better than hating him for something he clearly can't restrain. I mean, it's not like I'm really hurt or anything. It was just the only way he could get his message of desperation across. " " Hey, Leo? " I said remembering something else

" What is it? " He asked as I sat up and looked at him " I could tell you sympathized with him when you tackled him. What did you mean you understood Randell? What exactly do you understand? " I asked trying to understand as he took a bit before sitting down beside me and started to answer me after rubbing his neck.

" Well, Randell may not look like it, but he's actually twenty-five years old. He's wanted to find his mate so badly after multiple failed meeting attempts that he's grown all the more desperate. " " He's a strong hearted guy who's pretty old fashioned. I've grown up knowing him, and though he doesn't admit it. He's pretty lonely a lot and gets gloomy at times." " Spending five years searching against his doubts made his hope for finding his mate over time almost seem like a lost cause. "

I started to understand why he was feeling so frustrated at finally being so close. Then I understood how he was able to detect my sister after so long of leaving her still on me. He found the faintest thing and knew, and no wonder he wanted to have someones help for once. I then asked

" So, what was he like growing up? " he smiled and I felt his left hands fingertips upwards from my cheek to down my neck. He leaned down towards me as he started to mess with strands of my hair.

" I think that's enough for today. " then he kissed my forehead and I was okay with not digging any more today, but then he said trying to hold me

" Good, know I'll make sure to keep you even closer so what happened today doesn't happen again. " then he had a small smile and then later on threw out the week Zeta Randell started to try and get into my good graces. He doesn't try constantly, but when he sees me with spare time for the both of us we try to get to know each other with a blank slate.

He seems normal to me and he's not the possessive pigheaded guy I thought he was. He seemed kinda shy when talking. I think it was because any awkwardness about what had happened and based on last time. I wasn't letting anyone push me around which meant that he saw a side of me that isn't so adamant about anything but my sister. He told me about himself and I slowly was letting my guard down, but I found that he does have a strong will to protect the pack. This process of getting to know him went on threw out December. I noticed when I'd talk with him while Leo was training some men to be warriors that he'd notice us talking. One day, Randell told me about his family and I figured out what Leo didn't want to tell me.

Apparently, his mother died giving birth to him. This left his father devastated and heartbroken. Without the woman that he loved he decided to raise Randell on his own. He trained him to be a great fighter and told him stories about his mother, and told him that the reason he wouldn't find a new mother for him. Was because she was his mate and she was possibly too perfect for this world and no one could ever come close to replacing her. Once he turned nineteen his father told him that if you every sense or smell your mate to never give up on finding her and never let her go. Once he turned twenty he went to the choosing and couldn't find her. This happened with no clue or sign of getting closer to finding her. He said that a couple times he's felt envious of others who have found their mates and worried if he'd ever find his mate. Then it was this years, and he could smell my sister on me and it was the closest he has ever gotten and felt the need to pry more about her from me. I started to understand the sheer desperation he was facing. Because he was telling me all this I thought it earned him three things about my sister that I was going to tell him in return.

" My sister's name is Summer Miller. " He repeated her name almost like he was just trying to hear how it sounded. Then I said " She's a year younger than me and.." I felt a little apprehensive about telling him about her birthday, because then he'll look forward to the time coming soon. But he was just a guy that already cares for my sister without knowing much to anything about her. But before I said anything else I asked him sounding serious

" Look Randell, I'm going to tell you when her birthday is if you promise me something first. " he practically said he'd do whatever I wanted and I said grabbing him by his shirt in one hand

" Look, when the day comes that you two do meet her. I want you to let my sister have the freedom to come to me whenever she wants. I want you to not make any advances without her consent, " I felt the worst things come to mind and said angrily

" and if you take advantage of her. I swear that I'll make shore that she's safe from you and I'll make you pay dearly and make your life a nightmare. " he seemed scared at how dead serious I was being and a part of me was surprised I had this much inside me. His face was pulled close to mine and he said after swallowing a lump in his throat.

" Okay, I'll take responsibility for my action's. " I let go of him and said sighing " Alright, her birthday is March 24 next year she'll be turned twenty. " This felt kinda wrong giving something like that up about my sister. He smiled getting excited that it's not too fare away and to know the actual day. He even thanked me and said surprising me

" Thanks Luna Autumn, I know this must be really hard on you. "" I mean, from what you said before it must be hard trying to prepare for when you have to give someone you love up to someone you probably don't fully trust or know. " I felt surprised that he got how the reason I've been acting tough and scary was to cover up the fact that it's all a gambol and I'll loose no matter what I do. That I'm scared of not being able to do or say much to protect her from growing up into a world like this one. At least we'll both be in the same pack and I can do my best to keep her safe and try and make shore she'll find happiness.

" Yeah...to be honest, you're not the worst guy that could have my sister, but I'm still going to be playing a bit of the big sister role so bare with me. " We both smiled and as I was walking into the pack how I noticed that Leo wasn't in the dueling yard. I noticed him once I went into the hallway but he had an irritated look on his face as I noticed he was glaring out seeing Randell leaving and then focused at me and before I could say anything I felt him grabbing my right arm and pulled me into him before I understood that I was in his arms I felt him intensely pushed his lips on mine startling me. I tried to pull away to ask him what he was thinking, but I felt he wasn't letting me move at all. I just started to kiss him back and excepted it, and when he finally pulled away I could tell that he was distressed.

" Leo? What's wrong? " He still looked unhappy and then he said angrily " I don't want you spending so much with Randell. You are Mine!, and I'm not going to let you spend all your free time with him. " I felt confused but then by his eyes were slowly turning to golden again I realized what it is his problem was. He was jealous of Randell getting my attention and me warming up to him. I didn't say anything and I just nuzzled him and rested my head in the crook of his neck. After a while of silence

" Okay, you just want all my attention right? " I said softly smiling a little at how he was missing me. He nodded and then lowered his head resting on me before I said feeling his calm down his grip lessening.

" You didn't like feeling jealous about him spending time with me and when I'd smile at him, did you? " he answered in a pout " Maybe a little...I didn't like how he'd smile at you and when I saw you smiling and grabbing at him. I was starting to loose it. " he sounded like he was admitting it and I kissed where I was resting my head; which I could tell made him shiver as I lifted my head to look up at him.

" Don't worry about it. Besides, I like being with you a lot more so you don't have to worry. " I said smiling at him that was when his face softened and I gave him a real kiss on the lips this time. He kissed back tenderly and sniffed me once we stopped and then he seemed reassured. He was done with work and we got into the bedroom and we decided to watch a random movie on the TV, and I sat in his lap as he wrapped his arm's around my waist watch his head perched on my left shoulder.

I remembered the letter I wrote my parents and my sister before I left home. Before then I've done so many new things: I've left my pack for the first time, I've fallen in love, and I've gotten a new found strength that gives me courage to where I can be brave. The letter I gave Summer I told her not to read it until she is really afraid of the getting chosen. The one I gave my parents was to give them strength to keep Summer happy and to assure them that I'll be alright to them.

Hey Summer,

By the time you read this at any point I've left and will have a mate. Though I due dread the thought and the idea's of never seeing you again. Though I want you to know that as terrified I am. I want you to know that the possibility of finding someone to love and cherish me is what gave me the strength to give you this letter.

I will write to you about how I'm doing to get you and Mom and Dad know that there's no need to be worrying. Just remember that I'll always love you and I want you to remember to make the most of the situation and the chance to be happy and find happiness.

And just in case I can't contact you as soon as I can, or at all I want you to know that no matter what I'll do what I can to protect you and make sure you're safe. I will make sure that I keep in contact no matter how far away or hard.

I wrote a letter to her and Mom and Dad, but I hadn't herd of a reply nor did I know if they received it. I wrote about everything that happened since I left my pack and my house. I just hope that everything's alright, and I want to hear from them more than anything right now. Weeks go bye and not an answer or response. Though I wish I can understand this lack of a response made me feel on edge. I felt myself trying to reassure her in the letter that everything will be alright. I think Leo could tell I was tense because he held me and nuzzled his face into my neck

" You should relax. The letter will get to your family, and you just got to be patient. " I sighed and said knowing he's right.

" I know, I just feel a little antsy with the anticipation of getting a reply. But I'll try to be patient. " he said into my neck slowly kissing the back of my neck causing me to shiver

" Good. " If there was one thing about Leo that helped me was when he would make me forget about my cares and worries almost effortlessly. And so as the new year started I felt like I was clinging onto my family as much as I could lately. I think it was because I was really starting to feel at home here now, and my family was the only thing missing.