Ch.20 Our True Feelings (7/7)

We approached a reception desk as Saitou-san took charge with me behind her. It seemed as though you needed a key for the many saunas in the back. By showing them our room number we were allowed to access the saunas. But the family saunas are private and have a special fee attached to them.

"I would like to get a family sauna limited to two! Room 11! Make sure it's room 11!"

Saitou-san was direct about the room number. What was so good about room 11? Does it have a special attribute that only she knows about? Strange thoughts like that were going through my mind as we walked behind the curtain now. The hallways were lavish to the point that one could tell too much money went into this place. With fine wood tracing along the walls, expensive breathtaking scenery outside of the window beside us... Talk about a rich person's paradise… It made me wonder just how much money Saitou-san tosses around in a given day.

"Oh...the tickets."

That came to mind as I spoke aloud. I wanted to give the majority of the tickets that Saitou-san gave me for my birthday back. They were sitting in my bag in my room...not as though it'll help me right now. But instead of asking what I just mumbled about, the boss lady continued to lead me to a changing room at the end of the hall. Now it was just the two of us alone. Unlike before where I had a group with me...

"Ah...so we're only allowed to wear towels in the saunas, right?"

"That's the rules."

Saitou-san explained as she made her way to the corner of the changing room.

"Ah…what are you doing?"

She turned her head back to me causing the straight bangs on her cheek to bounce to the side.

"I'm showing off my butt to you!"

That's when her yukata dropped on the ground and sprawled out along the floor, exposing her sharp white backside. The heat of the room rouse to an extremely high level. Wait...that was just the blood rushing to my head. So, I turned away and calmed my chest. There she sat in the corner of the room removing her garments. As I did the same and wrapped the towel around myself it came to me…

Saitou-san never looked at me as I got undressed. She may have noticed my wariness and…consciously gave me the chance to get in my towel without exposing myself to her unwillingly. Was she being mindful of my feelings?

"Ready, Madoka-san?"

"Y-Yeah…and…"

I wanted to express my gratitude…I needed to… Dere we are alone yet she's still being just like she said she was before...a gentlewoman. It made me laugh inside if I had to be honest.

"Thank you, Saitou-san."

"Oh, whatever do you mean?"

She giggled, playing it off as she took my hand again. However, I didn't resist this time. Saitou-san certainly carried that air of maturity where ever she went. It felt like this was a journey for the two of us as we departed into the reserved rooms on the other side of the door. The hallway was long and stretched out as far as the eye could see. Each door led to a small, personalized sauna box. As we walked along the path she jumped with glee once she found the door with the number 11 plastered on it.

"My sister told me today that 11 was my lucky number."

She giggled. So that's why she was so uptight about getting that number. This was another one of her superstitions that were still mind-boggling to me. Such a mature empress of a woman was hankered down by beliefs of things not based on anything...That certainly contrasted her mature outlook.

Now in our towels, we sat in the small sauna room. The heat felt great after all that rushing around if I had to be honest. Saitou-san sat next to me as we settled in a corner of the room. The steam gently flowed along the floor as we basked in the soothing warmth. My partner didn't say anything for a moment as we relaxed.

"Thanks for coming with me, Madoka-san."

She brushed up against my side, her body was as soft as a cloud as her cushy thighs rubbed up against mine. Our sweat merged as they clapped together.

"Madoka-san…can I ask you to...do something for me?"

The tigress flipped her loose bang from her cheek as she whispered in my ear. I started getting on the defensive as I tensed up slightly.

"What...do you want me to do, Saitou-san?"

Her cheeks reddened for a moment as she closed her eyes. With a sharp huff, she spoke...

"Do you mind if…I lie on your lap for a minute, Madoka-san?"

"Lie…on my lap? Like...lie your head on my lap, Saitou-san?"

This was a super adorable request coming from the boss lady that reminded me of a hardened lawyer at times. I wholeheartedly expected her to flirt and tease me as we were in here together but…this request was a shocker. Like a plot twist in a movie, Saitou-san surprised me once again. With no reason to deny her request, I nodded.

"Sure…I guess."

Without time to waste Saitou-san lied on her side and set her head on my lap. The towel stopped right before my thighs so she had her cheeks firmly on them. They were warm and a tad sweaty as expected but it wasn't unpleasant.

"Thanks…"

"Why do you want to do something like this?"

She waited for a moment before opening her mouth again.

"…It's just…different from when I do this with Saya. She's my sister so I know her touch. But...It's been a while since I've done something like this with another person."

"I see…"

That didn't answer my question in the slightest. Not only that, it felt a tad awkward seeing this mature woman in a position like this. Of course, this reminded me of when I was with Mari-san...and she held me like this. It made my heart ached as I silently wished she'd do that to me again. As we sat there in silence the warmth of the sauna trickled the sweat down my back. She wasn't moving and it's been well over a minute so I decided to attempt something…

I pat the top of her head kind of like how Mari-san did with me.

"Huh?"

Saitou-san turned to me with her eyes wide open. That's when it came to me that I might have done something bad. Her cheeks were as red as an apple now.

"Ah…sorry."

My mind was still racing around that time with Mari-san on the couch…she put me on her thighs and pet my head. It was gentle…calming. So, I just figured that it might work the same for Saitou-san I guess. But that was my own conclusion I came to and I touched her in a way that wasn't appropriate it seemed.

"Oh no…it just reminded me of...someone."

"Oh, and who was that Saitou-san?"

"...The person I loved..."

"Oh...sorry then."

No matter how one looked at it...this entire situation was awkward. Here I am with a woman who told me she's attracted to me... A mature woman who was openly flirting with me yet all I could think about is that black-haired troublemaker. That childish joker that's likely aiding her drunken lover in the bar.

It's not as though I don't find Saitou-san attractive...or anything like that. It's just right now at this moment in time my heart selfishly wants to hurt when I think about...Mari-san. It crawls at me when I dare to look away from that fox that entrapped me with her spell. All I want...is Mari-san.

"Madoka-san…"

She spoke softly causing me to strain my ears to hear that charming voice of hers.

"Ah…what is it Saitou-san?"

"You're really in love with that person…aren't you?"

Out of nowhere, she brought up "that person" again.

I wondered what she would think if she knew that person was the woman she bosses around on her job daily? What would she say if I told her that I was in love with Mari-san? I...couldn't even imagine a scenario in which I would confess that to Saitou-san. So, to ambiguously answer her question, I nodded.

"I…do. I love them a lot, Saitou-san."

It came out roughly. Even though she didn't know who I was talking about it felt as though I confessed this person by name. My fingers tingled and I started feeling a tad light-headed. So, to keep control of my body I began to pat her hair. It wasn't as soft as Hana-chan's...it was a tag rough which made sense because of her straight hair, though it didn't feel bad at all. Saitou-san's hair texture was nice and silky in its own way.

"…What do you like about them, Madoka-san? Are they a man or a woman…do they go to your school? How old are they?"

The assault of questions took me aback a little. Her cheeks felt as though they were burning hot and it caused me to rub my legs together.

"Where is all this coming from?"

I didn't want to answer any of her questions so instead, I asked her one. A sad defense mechanism to my feelings for sure. I was more afraid by how sharp Saitou-san was…there was no way I wanted her to pinpoint the person who was raging in my heart even now…

"I just have to know, Madoka-san."

She timidly spoke.

"Everything just aligned, you know? As if the stars lit up in the perfect sequence…I met you again on the train that day…the only time I ever saw you before was in a bed at the hospital with your mom and Koda-san. I never even spoke a word to you...until we met that day."

Her shoulders slumped, putting weight on my thighs all the more.

"And then as I'm writing away at the Red Roses, waiting for my date to come…you sprang up out of nowhere…Out of everyone in this world...you did, Madoka-san."

"...Saitou-san."

"And not only that...you already have this mysterious person in your heart. As if everything the stars aligned for was useless in the end."

She then giggled to my surprise.

"That's why…I want to know what do you love about this person? So much so that you'd go to get a job for them just to give back a gift."

I leaned my head back and searched the ceiling. How cruel this conversation was becoming now registered to me. Here she was, telling me her true feelings despite only knowing me for literally a few days. Saitou-san honestly wanted to know...what makes this person in my heart so special? So, I decided that I had to express my feelings openly.

"…They make me want to change, Saitou-san. This person…makes me want to move forwards so that maybe one day…I could mature and reach them."

That image of the one I love came back into my mind. Where I held her in my arms after she gave me lessons on applying for the Red Roses. How holding her in my arms made me feel that much stronger...

"They make you…want to change Madoka-san?"

"…Yeah. Lately, everything that drives me forwards had been because of them…only recently I concluded that I loved them too."

I searched back towards the floor only to catch eyes with her. Suddenly, a hand rested on my cheek. As I looked down, I met her sakura-colored eyes. They danced about my face as I closed my eyes and calmed my mind.

"You seem to be struggling right now though, Madoka-san…are you thinking about things again?"

Again, it was showing on my face. All these horrid feelings that had no way to vent.

"...Hey, what was your request if you won in that game earlier?"

"Huh?"

I was confused by her question as she lifted her body up. Sweat trickled along her cheek as she nodded softly. My thighs cooled down a little as we faced one another now.

"I..."

I guess there was no turning back now. So, I confessed what I wanted from her...

"I wanted you to talk to me...about my mom, Saitou-san."

"Your mom?"

With a sigh, I leaned back against the wall.

"...Mom won't tell me what happened after I went into my coma...or even before. She's...keeping a lot from me. With you being her boss Saitou-san, I figured that I might be able to get some answers from you."

"And is that why...you've been sad all day?"

She wasn't completely right...but she wasn't wrong either. With a nod, I agreed to what she was saying.

"I got my time with you just as I wanted…so, why don't we both be satisfied. You can ask me anything you want about Nakagawa Ayumi-san…"

"…What?"

"I think I've gathered what's happened, Madoka-san. Nakagawa-san didn't tell you about that time…after your coma…and it's causing you problems. That's pretty much it, right?"

She turned to the side as the heat warmed up the room slightly.

"Me being her former boss…I could get in trouble for revealing things without her permission. That's invading her private life, you know?"

Just as I concluded before...Saitou-san could get in trouble for entering into our family affairs without permission. If mom found out that Saitou-san told me things that she intentionally wanted to keep from me…

"I-I couldn't put you through that, Saitou-san."

Even though I planned to in the beginning...now faced with it I shied away quickly. She just shrugged haphazardly though to my surprise.

"If Nakagawa Ayumi finds out that I said anything to you then she can do her worst to me. I'm quite savvy though so I doubt anything would stick if I say the right things."

Speaking like a true devil she snickered as she turned back to me.

"And I just want to see you smile more, Madoka-san. If me telling you a few things about your mom will help you ease your mind, then so be it."

That's when she stood up causing her tantalizing butt to be right in my face. I'm not sure if she did that on purpose though...

"It's too hot in here and if we stay any longer we'd pass out at this rate."

The boss lady complained as she fanned her face with her hand. But then she turned back to me and encroached on my space.

"The lounge closes at 9 PM tonight but I have the key because my family owns this business, Madoka-san…"

I wasn't sure what she was going on about but she had me in her clutches, so I searched her eyes as they pierced in me like a dagger to the heart. The corner of her lips raised daringly causing my heart to flutter in a different way.

"If you meet me in there at 9:30 PM when everyone else is away in their rooms for the night...we can have a chat for as long as you want…about Nakagawa Ayumi-san."

As if the doors to my answers were bashed open, this boss lady showed me a pathway. Here I sat in this sauna with a chance of my lifetime...

Saitou Risa-san was willing to risk being punished at her job...to help me?

I felt so guilty...knowing that...Silently, I apologized to Saitou-san. How I wish she wouldn't put her neck out for a selfish brat like me. But before I could express my feelings about the matter she opened the door.

"Come on, let's get back to the lounge, Madoka-san."

I followed her orders as I tattered across the wood floor.

"But there is one thing I want you to know, Madoka-san…"

"What's that Saitou-san?"

"Your mother…isn't perfect, Madoka-san. She's made mistakes...remember that."

My heart sank into my stomach now. The realization of something impending curled up in my body uncomfortably. I know from Mae-chan that mom didn't visit the Watanabe's at all…she isolated herself from them…and only latched onto Mari-san...kind of like I did. That's when it settled in me the magnitude that this information might hold. To understand the mindset of my mom…who she was when she latched onto Mari-san...

Tonight at 9:30 PM I might finally be able to understand just who my mom is now and how much the events of the past changed her.

Only then will I be able to know what I must do with these feelings that are raging in me.