I feel like screaming

"It's not like I met you on campus..." he sighed. "And of course you're already 29," he said seeming to think it through.

"Do you find it okay if I call him now? I'll call you back in a moment?" he questioned, sounding on edge.

"I don't think that's necessary, because I'm not going on a date with you anymore," I angrily let him know. Julian rubbed his fingers across the skin of his left eye.

"Because I am a professor at a class you attend to this semerster?" He frowned. "No, not that," I bit out.

He stared at me, and then I saw that it dawned on him.

"Well, I can't change that I've shared 'pleasure' with women other than you," he said blowing air in his cheeks, like blowing up a baloon. He breathed out again and continued speaking. "I can… promise you that it will never happen again. I can promise you that I am yours from now on," he said in a warm voice.

Jeez, how convincing he sounded. It made me angry, because I didn't want to believe him at all. "Cherry, I think it's for the best that I give the good man a call right now. I'ts already late," he spoke with urgency in his voice. I looked at the clock, it was indeed already 21:30.

"I'll call you in a moment," he said, winking at me. I swallowed and squeezed my thighs together.

"See you soon," he said again and hung up.

I looked around the room and I was suddenly aware of my surroundings. I got back to reality and realized that I was at home, on my couch, under a warm blanket. It was stupid how he had sucked me in completely.

I put my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. I couldn't really concentrate on my article anymore.

Almost half an hour passed, and I still hadn't heard from him. When I actually got up to go to bed, my phone rang.

When I saw him on the screen again, my heart made a cautious leap. For stars sake, he was really handsome. But then again, he was also so wrong as hell. I mean, the guy had casual sex with whomever, I had to remember myself.

"It's okay," is the first thing he said, in a reassuring tone. "A second person has to look at your exam and paper," he said softly, "but we are safe".

Relieved, I slowly exhaled. Why did I feel relieved at all?

"Then we will see each other a little earlier than expected," he said in such an immensely sweet tone. "Is there anything I need to know about you in advance," he asked teasingly.

"Like what," I frowned. He tilted his head a bit, and a playful crooked smile appeared.

"Good night cherry," he said huskily.

~

I hadn't slept in two days.

I kept feeling… well.. what did I feel? Guilty, I guess. I felt guilty that in little more than an hour I would have a date. A date with another man than Julian. A date with Rick and a third date to be exact.

Most of the time, a third date is for making clear you intentions… and sometimes even a little physical action. Unless you are Julian. Julian would ask you to marry him, making explicitly clear of his intentions, as early as the first half-hour you meet.

My kids were already in bed and my babysitter just arrived. I gave her instructions and walked out the door.

All day I had been thinking of reasons why I should cancel this date.

It didn't feel good. Well, not anymore. But Rick had not done anything wrong. On the contrary, he made me feel special, in ways I hadn't never felt before.

I got on my bike and drove to the city. It was still hot outside. Rick and I agreed to have a late dinner, so I was extremely hungry.

When I parked my bike, I immediately saw rick.

He approached me with a loving gaze. "Hey beautiful," he acknowledged me. "Hello," I smiled back. He was wearing a black t-shirt and shorts. He looked much different than the static way Julian dressed. "I think you need to carry me to the restaurant," I joked. "I feel faint from not eating so long," I laughed.

Rick smirked at me. "In my mother's home-country this is actually quite a normal time to eat," he told me. Rick was half Italian. "Is that so? I bet Italians have a whole different way of living all together," I stated as we walked inside a small Italian restaurant.

"It smells delicious in here," I said clutching my empty stomach. Rick grinned and asked for a table for two. The restaurant looked cozy, and there was a live singer who filled the space with an Italian song.

"Wow," I exclaimed as I eyed the singer. "Beautiful, huh," he smiled. Rick ordered us something to eat and drink. He said he knew exactly what I would like. Would he be a… what's the right word? Stalker... would he be a stalker too? Like Julian?

Nope, I found out that he was definitely was not a stalker when de waiter brought our food. The plate I had in front of me, was something I would never order myself. To be honest, I do enjoyed vegetables. But only vegetables, without meat, was not my cup of tea.

"Do you like it?" Rick asked as I tried to empty my plate. "Yeah…" I completely lied. Rick went on talking about his music, but I was not really listing.

Would Julian still be in Paris?

"Emily?" Rick prompted. "What?" I asked unsure of what I had missed. "Would you like to go to a concert with me on Saturday?" he asked. "Uhm… " I couldn't. I was going to have a date with Julian then.

"I have a thing on Saturday," I choked on the words and bit my lip. "Oh…" Rick mumbled. "That's okay, there will be other concerts," he smiled.

By the end of the evening I hadn't really felt like I was actually there in the room with him. My mind kept up wandering back to Julian.

"I want to introduce someone to you," Rick said, pulling me out of thought. There was a waiter standing at our table. No, I think he was the cook. The old man with white-greyish hair smiled at me.

He held out his hand shakingly. I hesitated to take it. Who was this and what did this mean? I glanced at Rick and he encouraged me to take his hand.

"This is my grandfather, Pedro," he told me.

I felt like my throat closed down on me. Oh no… I should of read the signs. Were there signs to begin with? I mean, I guess I clearly missed them. "Oh… Hi," I sheepishly said. "My name is Emily," I told the old man.

"I know," Pedro grinned at me. He took my hand in both of his, and held me like I was something dear to him.

I swallowed.

"I will leave you two to it," he chuckled at my behavior. "Bella," the old man said, seemingly approving of me, as he walk away.

Rick smiled from ear to ear. He looked like he won the lottery. And I… I felt like screaming, or was running a better option?