Phoenix Interrupted (BL)

MC's P.O.V.: 

 It was a beautiful but sweltering summer evening. Dusk was in full bloom as twilight was taking over. Leaving the sky painted in a wash of dark blues and purples mixed in with varying ranges of pinks, oranges, yellows and hints of lighter blues and greens. In stark contrast a young man, who looks to be in his early twenties was lying on the road bleeding out due to a hit and run. His fellow pedestrians and motorists passed by without a second thought.

"What a day to die… again" the young man whispered to himself as he laid there waiting for this end to finally come. He was bored and ready to be done with this end, so that the pain would not be so bad if only for a bit.

 He found it increasingly harder to breathe as one of his ribs punctured his right lung. His ears were ringing and bleeding to the extent that it muffled his hearing more and more. Thus, making it increasingly difficult to hear the surrounding noise.

 His beautiful bouncy brown curls were now matted with blood and what looked like a bit of gray matter. He could not feel his legs, nor could he move them. He was certain he was now paralyzed along with a broken right arm and that was just the injuries he could discern. In his mind he called out to Solaris.

- Phoenix - 'Solaris, do you think I have enough power now that I can get even a five-minute break before, I am thrown into the next world?'

 Solaris is the mysterious system that hacked into Phoenix's Jailer System and slowly but steadily had been helping Phoenix to gain power in order to break free from this prison he has been tethered to for more than 22 thousand years now.

 Phoenix does not know where that self-aware A.I. system came from or why but throughout the last several thousand years it, or rather he as he refers to himself as, has proved his loyalty and has been vital in helping Phoenix in more than one way.

- Solaris - 'Master, I think you just might, but I do not want to get master's hopes up again, if there isn't again this time.' His tone soft but hopeful at first slowly melted into one of dejection with a hint of guilt.

- Phoenix - 'I have told you several times Solaris, I do not blame you and you have nothing to feel guilty about.' 

- Solaris - 'I know the Master only says this because he is a good master! If it were not for my mistake, you would not have lost the power you gained from the past nineteen worlds. Because of me, the master had to suffer more than he should have. I was created to help and look out for you not make this whole mess of a situation even worse.' 

- Phoenix - 'Solaris one day you must tell me, why out of all the souls in existence, were you searching for me. I would also like to finally learn my real name and recover my memories from before I was imprisoned in this endless cycle of living hell! I know you can only tell me more when the time comes but it is not easy being patient; that being said, just having you as a companion helps me significantly to stay strong and push on. I know I would have lost my mind already had you not found me when you did.'

Phoenix had a shadow of a smile on his beautiful face and his eyes flashed with an indecipherable emotion while thinking about the day Solaris found him and formed their non-breakable bond by fussing with Phoenix's soul, before turning hard with annoyance.

 - Phoenix - 'Could that psychotic prick have chosen a better day to run me down on the streets? I mean seriously it is 104 degrees Fahrenheit or 40 degrees Celsius out! Oh and for the sake of heaven above may I not forget the damn blasted humidity that is so high one could cut the air with a steak knife! It is dusk for heaven's sake it should not be this damn hot still! Is it really necessary for me to be getting second and third degree burns while dying? What is taking so long? I cannot stand this concussion any longer, all I see is a kaleidoscope and I am so over it!' 

- Solaris - 'Master, it worries me how nonchalant you are about your own death now. Though I suspect that could be seen as an expected outcome from living and dying miserably for the past one, two, three, ten… thirty-two thousand years, well give or take a few. But still, I am worried about you dear master.' 

- Phoenix - 'No need to worry about me. I am aware I am jaded when it comes to all of this dying bullshit. It has been one retched life and horrible end after the other for the past 32 thousand years. It is difficult not to become numb to it.' 

Phoenix had to harden himself to all this mess because if he hadn't he would never have been able to survive. If one can call the state of his consciousness as surviving, that is. He just might have passed the crazy bend and dove straight over the waterfall into madness for all he knows. Think about it, what being could handle all that he has been though without going insane? 

If Phoenix were to be completely honest with himself, he is not even sure this is all real. How can this reality be a true reality? It's as if some crazy author decided to write a dog blood drama and he is the poor sap who drew the short straw. Oh, better yet this could all be the matrix, right? Well, it would be more probable if he had Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D. for short. Phoenix let out a snort as he thought to himself, 'Yeap I must have lost my sanity.'

 - Phoenix - 'Hey Solaris, what do you think it will be like once we are finally able to have enough power to finally act the way I want and not be a puppet who must follow the script that is already written for me? I mean being able to make small choices that are my own is great and it has allowed me to slowly siphon some power from the universes I have been forced to live in, but it is not the same as being truly free to be myself.'

The young man's beautiful light blue eyes turned gray with the storm of emotions running through his mind and sparkled with the hope of what could be before turning dark as he pondered on who or what has it out for him. For the past 32 thousand years, give or take a few hundred years, he has been forced to live horrible life after horrible life all while being stuck in the passenger seat as what or whoever has it out for him controls his every movement and even his speech.

He has been forced to do things he not only hates but also forced to take every bit of the abuse and torment that has come his way. His consciousness is there but he has never had control of any of the bodies he was forced to inhabit.

 He honestly cannot remember the last time he ate something he liked. It is hard to appreciate the value in having a choice until that choice is taken away. People take having the option to have any say in what they wear, eat or even say for granted because in the modern age, when and where he is from, having a choice at least when it comes to one's own body is a fundamental right and a given.

Phoenix was just like everyone else from where and when he was from and took it for granted. He can still remember when he was able to simply look where he wanted to. Never in his wildest imagination could he have come up with anything close to the actual hell, dry cough and clears metaphoric throat, the existence he had been experiencing. Who in their right mind could even think up this crazy bullshit anyways? He really was stupid for not appreciating it all while he had it. Thankfully it was not long after Solaris found him and bonded with his soul that he was able to start gaining back tiny pieces of himself and eventually small but precious freedoms. 

*Author's Note: I have a strange sense of humor as it depends greatly on my mood, and I could not help but be snarky when writing this part. I feel Phoenix's frustration with his existence as I have stated in the author's note at the beginning of this novel, I am working through my own trauma and issues through writing this book so most of time I can actually empathize with the characters.*

 He can still remember Solaris's apology as it only had enough power left over from his long search for Phoenix to grant him the ability to simply choose where to look. That day Phoenix cried until his eyes were swollen shut. He doesn't understand why Solaris was searching for his exact soul, but he trusts Solaris.

He honestly thought it was just another way for whomever, to control and torture him even more. However, Solaris has proven himself time and time again. The fact that Solaris only has as much control as Phoenix allows, as well as Solaris also being unable to read his mind or "be present" unless Phoenix chooses to, may have helped him to eventually trust Solaris without hesitation.

 Alright, truth be told it was most likely the deciding factor in swaying Phoenix to trust him or at least give him a chance. But really, one cannot blame Phoenix for being weary after what he has gone through. Nor could he be criticized for needing Solaris' company even if it was coming from an artificial intelligence system or A.I. system for short.

Speaking of which, Phoenix has pondered on the thought throughout the years, is Solaris really just an artificial intelligence system? Solaris does not seem like a typical A.I. system. Solaris started from the beginning that he is a he/male not an it. Phoenix was not aware that an A.I. system could or do identify with gender but this one sure as day does and is very particular about it as well. He has what Phoenix can only describe as a consciousness about him and is Phoenix's only real companion and true friend.

 As Phoenix lay there waiting for the sweet relief of death to come, he looked into the sky and his eyes shone with a dazzling light that was slowly fading along with Phoenix's life. His mouth filled with blood as he began to lose what little consciousness he had left; he saw a light flicker in the sky. Whoa was that a shooting star he thought, while Solaris had an uncomfortable look on his face.

- Phoenix - 'Solaris the sky is so beautiful, it almost feels like I can touch it. I wonder what it would be like to be up there looking out over all these worlds... it must be beautiful and empowering,'

 A single tear slid down Phoenix's lovely and bloodied face, he could not help but wonder when he would finally be free from this torment and hell, he has been forced to endure for the last 32 millennia. His soul is tired, and he is not sure how much longer he can hold on… why him? The last thing Phoenix remembered before he finally faded was hearing the word "Soon" from the most melodious male voice he has ever heard. 'Wait, Solaris, who was that?' 'Rest now master, I have you' Solaris whispered to Phoenix as everything was swallowed up by the void of time and space.

*Author's note: Here when Phoenix communicates with Solaris (I think of it as Sol-r-us, 1. Because of my sothern US accent & 2. spoiler foreshadowing thats the only hint yall get. Hehe) in his mind the conversation will be with '…' and when the conversation is out loud it will be in "…" I hope this helps with any confusion. Our Main Character aka Master, Phoenix and/or Nix was wiped of all his memories and does not recall his real name and wants nothing to do with any of his past lives or names since they all trigger him into having panic attacks and flashbacks to all the torment he went through, when called by the names he was forced to go by. He chose Phoenix or Nix for short due to an interesting birthmark he has on his inner thigh near his groin, which is in the shape of the Phoenix constellation. His real name will come up later I promise but I cannot tell y'all now as it will spoil a ton. It is worth the wait, I promise. I would love to hear what y'all think it possibly could be. I also would like to thank you for picking up my novel. It began because I couldn't stop thinking up ideas while waiting for updates on my favorite novels on WebNovel and I decided to start jotting down my ideas and before I knew it I had a rough outline for a whole dang novel and possibly a prequel and/or sequel. I may also decide to make it one big novel and write it as if it were "seasons" … I am just not sure yet and will see where the writing and development takes me.