Chapter 43

To have the Yuantai Emperor entrust him with authority over the 

Northern Yan Army, not hesitate to make an exception for him to enter the Hall of Exalted Glory, and even have him act as his spokesperson in the Hall to balance out the power of several princes — that's no longer 'merely' being put into an important position, it's just about catching up with the ruler's own family. 

"Are you actually the Emperor's son?" Fu Shen suspected 

Yan Xiaohan started to laugh. "If I was, the Fu family would certainly 

have two Prince's Consorts right now," he purposefully teased. 

"..." 

Yan Xiaohan lifted the pot and refilled his cup of tea, stowing away the 

joking expression he had. "Do you know who the Emperor trusts most, 

Jingyuan?"

"Himself," Fu Shen answered with no hesitation. 

Yan Xiaohan had been intending on having a serious, proper in-depth 

analysis with him, but Fu Shen's answer ended up making him smile. He could definitely tell that the gray shadow cast in the man's heart from past events was slowly diluting, and it seemed he could take all these immense issues with a grin when they came up before him. 

"Aside from himself?" Yan Xiaohan questioned. 

Fu Shen was genuinely stumped. 

The Yuantai Emperor was so severely paranoid, he didn't trust generals 

under him that had military power, nor his blood-related brothers, nor his sons that stared at the throne, nor the literary officials who stood cliqued together in the dark… after deliberating upon it, he couldn't think of a single suitable person out of all the military and civil officials of the Court. 

Fu Shen quirked his mouth downwards, thinking to himself that the 

Emperor was truthfully quite the lonely person. 

"In comparison to civil officials, he trusts military leaders more," Yan 

Xiaohan said unhurriedly, "and he's more trusting of one stationed where he can see them as opposed to a general stationed elsewhere. So, he trusts me more than he trusts you." 

Fu Shen made like he going to hit him. Yan Xiaohan smiled, grabbed his hand, and gently clasped it. "The Flying Dragon Guard and Imperial 

Northern Office have always been his heaviest truncheons. Second comes 

the five major encampments, because their Commandant Wang Zhen 

stands alone and doesn't have a clique. The imperial city's military 

department is out of the question. Then there's the County Prince of 

Xiping; he's been silent and keeping to himself these years, which eases 

the Emperor's heart about the old official somewhat." 

Who he'd brought up were people Fu Shen was naturally no stranger to. Hearsay told that there were "Four Pillars of the Nation" – that is, the currently most well-known Generals of the troops guarding all four directions. They were: Commander of the Northern Yan Iron Cavalry Fu 

Shen, County Prince of Xiping Duan Guihong, East Sea Naval Commander Sa Zhimu, and Commandant of the Capital Encampments Wang Zhen. 

[T/N: The capital is in the South, and 'Xiping' means 'west 

tranquility', so that's where those two directions went to. Also, Wang 

Zhen's surname is a different character from Wang Gou'er's; there's no 

relation.] 

Wang Zhen had always behaved low-key, even more so than Duan 

Guihong — the County Prince's name wasn't prominent in the capital 

because he was far removed from it, and news didn't travel well. The 

former was garrisoned at West Mountain, which wasn't far from the capital, yet for so many years, there was no fuss kicked up from any sort of action he'd taken. A good amount of people only knew of the encampments; as for their Commandant, they'd have to rack their brains for a while to think of his name. 

Even so, it was the Northern Yan, five encampments, and Imperial 

Guards that made up a triple-layer barrier in guarding the capital. 

"So, what?" Fu Shen asked. "What are you trying to illustrate?" 

"Someone who can gain the Emperor's trust must claim no credit for 

themselves, stand in no clique, have a low-key presence, and would best be an older official. Can you still not think of who?" Yan Xiaohan happily asked back. 

Fu Shen gave up. "Tell me." 

"An imperial eunuch." 

Fu Shen's first reaction was to shift his sight downwards for a glance at 

Yan Xiaohan's lower half. "Can't be. Isn't it normal?" 

"..."

Fu Shen realized his own crooked thoughts but a moment later, raising a hand to cover his face in embarrassment. Yan Xiaohan held back his grin, then grabbed the wheelchair's armrests to hauling him over to be in front of him, their knees facing each other. "Don't be shy. We're husband and wife, what's there to be ashamed of… put your hand down. When are you planning on inspecting whether or not I'm normal, Marquis?" he said with a completely straight face. 

"I'm planning on having you try out some corporal punishment, first," 

Fu Shen seethed out between gritted teeth. 

Yan Xiaohan laughed loudly. Fu Shen maintained himself for a bit, but he couldn't help but do it, too. "…Bunch of bullcrap. What happened to that serious talk? Get back to it for me." 

"Do you remember Duan Linglong?" Yan Xiaohan had laughed enough, 

still stickily tugging at him and unwilling to let up. "You hadn't yet entered Court back then, so you had never witnessed the grand spectacle of him single-handedly pull wool over the people's eyes. That's why he was said to be etched into the Emperor's heart, his glory and favor enduring. Imperial eunuchs have no children, and from the very moment they enter the palace in their youth, the only thing they can rely on is the ruling monarch's trust and favor – for that reason, Duan Linglong was truly devoted to the Emperor. To say if there was ever a person on Earth that the Emperor trusted with all his heart and soul, it could only be him. There might be no one who'd believe it, but when Duan Linglong passed away, His Majesty actually did shed tears for him. I was abandoned at the entrance of the Cosmos Witness Temple after I was born. It was a holy place of the imperial family, and everyone inside was a royal concubine that had left the home and practiced Buddhism, accompanied year-round by only oil lamps and Buddhist statues. Seeing me so pitiful, they had a moment of compassion, and let me stay in the Temple to be raised. As 

citizens were not allowed entry there, they guessed that some palace maid might have had an illegitimate child. Worried that she would have no support after the birth, yet unable heartlessly choke me death and dispose of me, she consequently brought me to the Temple, leaving my life or death up to luck. For that reason, it's impossible for me to have any blood of the heavenly family – the Emperor trusting me is purely because my adoptive father is Duan Linglong." 

Fu Shen's heart tightened as he listened. He hesitated a bit, then lifted his hand and lightly patted the back of Yan Xiaohan's. 

"Duan Linglong had feelings for a nun, and he often went to the 

Temple in private. He heard that an abandoned baby had been taken in 

there, and with his own inability to have children, he acknowledged me as his adoptive son. I received his teachings for years, as well as his 

instruction on martial arts, all the way until I was seventeen, and then he brought me straight into the Imperial Guard." 

For the years prior, people had denounced Yan Xiaohan most on two 

points. One was that he behaved strangely, and his methods were brutal. The next was that he venerated a eunuch as his foster father, which indicated that he was climbing the social ladder to gain the power to do evil, his intentions wicked. 

Despite Fu Shen having paid no mind to rumors about him for a long 

time now, he presently couldn't help but sigh with a "so that's how it is". 

He not-so-gently took Yan Xiaohan into his arms, as he felt that anything he could say would seem inept, a hundred different feelings within him all turning into indescribable distress. He itched to go back in time and hug that still-young little boy, just like this. 

Yan Xiaohan allowed his embrace. "Don't pity me," he said softly. 

"Mn. I don't," Fu Shen replied. "Are you not allowing me to pamper 

you, then? Since I can't be a Prince's Consort, you'll just have to be 

Madam Marquis of Jing Ning all nice and proper-like, alright?" 

Yan Xiaohan smiled soundlessly. "The Emperor had known early on 

about Duan Linglong and the nun, so he naturally knew of me, too. 

When Duan Linglong became seriously ill, he made me swear to him 

before his sickbed that I wouldn't leave behind an heir in this life,devoting myself to the monarch. After his death, the Emperor promoted me to Royal Inspector Envoy." 

He didn't have blood of the royal family, but the Emperor had more or 

less watched him grow up. His origins determined that he would be outcast from civil officials by matter of course, and he was the successor that Duan Linglong had personally trained; as a to-the-letter isolated, faithful official with a known background, it was natural that the Emperor dared to so boldly and confidently employ him. 

"Why'd you agree to him?" Fu Shen asked. "If you didn't enter the 

Flying Dragon Guard, you would've still been able to lead a good life. 

There's so many roads to take in the world, so why did you insist on 

picking the hardest one?" 

"When the Eastern Tartars besieged the border that year, why did you 

agree to them and go onto the battlefield?" Yan Xiaohan countered. 

"Was that what I wanted? I was forced." 

Yan Xiaohan was silent for ages before he seemed to have resolutely 

made up his mind, opening his mouth to speak with great difficulty. "There was a person. I might not have been able to ever stand side-by-side with him, but I could still put him in my heart, watch him from a distance, and say a few things to him on occasion, and that'd be just as good." 

Fu Shen didn't know what he was going to say next, but he had a gut 

feeling, his heart suddenly pounding madly. 

"But, later on, he was forced to the frontlines of Northern Xinjiang." 

Fu Shen's mind went blank. 

This seemed to be within expectation, yet also completely outside 

prediction. 

"Everyone knew war was dangerous, and this trip was one with 

inevitably no return, yet of all the do-nothing bluebloods of the Court, nota one stepped forward and blocked this horrible assignment on his behalf. It was only then that I realized that they were weak and their words meant nothing, and none of them could even dream of being qualified for this." 

He smiled in self-deprecation. "So it's fine to live in infamy, and it 

doesn't matter if I can't have heirs. So long as I could climb upwards, I 

could agree to anything." 

"Stop talking…" Fu Shen's chest rose up and down violently, one hand 

kept on the other man, his own voice hoarse. "I know, Brother Yan, don't talk anymore…" 

"It's okay. It's all in the past." Yan Xiaohan went to hug him, 

affectionately petting his tensed back. "I'm merely catching you up right now. It goes without saying that this has all been me willfully going down my own path, and you don't need to have pity on me or feel burdened. Being able to reach this step today is proof that I hadn't made the wrong choice back then." 

"If I had known earlier…"

Yan Xiaohan imagined that scene for a second. "If you had known, you 

might've gathered up a bunch of dandies to come beat me to death on the spot, yeah?" 

In their brief encounter and fleeting glances at the city gate years before, he had casually tossed him a twin lotus, yet that drew in lifelong sweetness and craving. 

Their shared tribulation under the cliff face, their unforeseen quarrels, 

ruptures, reconciliations… for seven years they kept their distance, yet there was no place they weren't mutually present. They walked towards each other from distant, opposing ends, and though the road stretched long, they were finally able to meet up. He used to believe that it'd be hard to even hope that they could stand shoulder-to-shoulder, but now, it had come to be within reach."

When you went to battle, there was nothing I could do." Yan 

Xiaohan's tone was consoling. "Fortunately, I became the Royal Inspector Envoy afterwards, and when the Emperor was sanctioning a marriage for you, the very first person he considered was me. You see, this is what's called 'if there's a will, there's a way to crack open even metal and stone'." 

"..." Fu Shen couldn't keep from being blunt. "What if he hadn't 

sanctioned it?"

Yan Xiaohan looked at him, then smiled. "I'm not a big-hearted 

gentleman like you, Marquis. Since I had done everything I could to take the Envoy position, even if the Emperor didn't allow it, I'd set about stealing you back. If the Court lackey isn't maiming the loyalist, how 

could I then be worthy of the gossiping masses of the world?" 

Fu Shen knew he was talking nonsense the second he heard this, but his heart still hurt. He raised a hand and struck the other on the back." Putting on a happy face for no reason – why're you so bullheaded." 

"With one look at you, I could wait for no one else for the rest of my 

life," Yan Xiaohan said leisurely. "I would use any means at all." 

None of Fu Shen's words were spoken aloud, all harbored within his 

tender gaze as he smiled. 

Supposing that the Yuantai Emperor hadn't sanctioned the marriage, Yan Xiaohan probably wouldn't do something as drastic as kidnapping the Marquis of Jing Ning. Maybe he would go on pretending that they were fire and water, appearing like strangers. 

One look, and he could wait for no one else. Fu Shen could hold him up for his entire life, but he wouldn't hold up Fu Shen's life. 

"Okay, now." Yan Xiaohan let him go, but right as he went to withdraw, 

his figure suddenly faltered as someone grabbed his collar out of nowhere.

"I'm really sorry for holding you up all your life," Fu Shen spoke 

confidently, leaning back relaxed as his lips tilted up at the corners. "Come on. You can come back from your waiting, now."