Chapter 44

March 30th, at the break of dawn.

A servant hastily ran over and knocked on the master's bedroom door, startling Yan Xiaohan inside. Fu Shen seemed to sense that from where he lay sleeping beside him, as he moved as well, only to be gently hugged by the other man. "It's okay," he said, voice low, muddled, and husky, "you sleep."

He draped a robe over himself and got up, opening the door with a tired look on his face that had been put there from the disturbance. "What is it?"

The servant grinned from ear to ear. "It's a happy day! The Prince of Qi's Estate just sent someone to bring news. His Consort had given birth at the time of the Tiger today to a little Countess,[1] and both mother and daughter are well."

It was indeed a joyous occasion for the Fu family, for the Prince's Consort to overtake all the rest of the concubines and birth the eldest legitimate daughter. Though not a son, this was still the first child of the Prince's Estate, and would surely be an aristocratic pearl cherished in the

palm of their hand. Yan Xiaohan had him go to the accounts office to pass along the message that every person was getting an additional half-month's pay, but when he turned around the close the door, he noticed that Fu Shen had already completely woken up at some unknown point in time and was just about to try sitting up on the bed.

The blanket had slid off, his belt was loose, and his lapels were wide open, exposing his sturdy, smooth chest and faintly-seen abs. What was most alarming were the splotches of red spots littered on his collarbone, the scarlet seeming to float all the way down to his chest; one look told they were iron-clad evidences left behind from a passionate night. And what had had sweet love with him was a particularly enthusiastic, troublesome tramp

— why did he even suck marks right over his throat?!

Fu Shen got up, but he wasn't able to sit still at all, as his 'waist' portion seemed like it was disconnected from his body for no reason. He furrowed his brows and supported his lower back with his arms, his movements a bit magnified. Yan Xiaohan immediately threw himself over, bundling him up like he was guarding a treasure from being thieved, and put him back down. "Don't get up, just lay down."

Luckily, Fu Shen had just barely awoken, and hadn't yet considered recalling all that had happened last night. He only vaguely heard of "the Prince of Qi's Consort", and was now forcing his eyelids upwards to ask about it. "What's going on with his Consort?"

"Congratulations, you're an uncle." Yan Xiaohan's dry, warm palm was placed on his forehead. "She had a daughter, and someone came to report the good news just now."

Fu Shen was suddenly very alert. "What about my little sister?"

"Relax. Both mother and daughter are fine." Yan Xiaohan hung up his outer robe, then laid back down on the bed, peeling half the bedding off the other. The two crammed in together under the covers, the warmth and affection making one close their eyes like they'd be able to fall back into dreamland.

"It's still early. Sleep a bit longer, and go to the Prince's Estate to congratulate them when you wake up."

He whispered so that only they could hear, a special sort of intimacy between them in their tiny world hemmed in by the bed curtain. Something really had become different from then on.

Fu Shen's lower back was massaged as the other held him, his sore and numb muscles gradually regaining feeling, and the preposterous event immediately came back to him. By means of the slight light coming from the window, he lowered his head to take a look at his chest. "Yan Meng'gui, are you a fucking dog?"

The sound of low laughter flowed into his ear, bringing with it a burst of a heart-tickling tingle. The contentment in his sigh held even further obscure satiation. "Jingyuan."

"Mm?"

"Jingyuan."

Fu Shen's entire face pulled downwards. "Go play with eggs."

"No." With Yan Xiaohan's desire fulfilled, his entire being was currently just the word 'spoiled', in all caps. He maliciously stuck close to the other man's ear. "I'll only play with yours."

Fu Shen slapped him expressionlessly. There was the crisp sound of skin meeting, yet only extremely light pain. Yan Xiaohan knew that this was the leniency he was never willing to say out loud, giving a small punishment to prevent something larger. Even if he'd hit him with actual force, it'd be just like last night where he frowned and panted, yet never once called for him to stop.

He couldn't help himself from hugging the man tight, the strength he used akin to wanting to merge their flesh and blood together. "Thanks for your hard work, Jingyuan."

"Quit trying to look well-behaved when it suits you," Fu Shen replied coolly. "How come I didn't see you act like that when you were badgering me yesterday? Before you come faking sorry to me next time, remember to hide that wagging fox tail of yours first."

"There's a next time?" "…Sure isn't. Get lost."

When he woke up again, the other side of the bed was already empty. The sky outside the window was resplendent with light, and the twitter of birdsong could be heard. Having no idea how long Yan Xiaohan had pressed him down by the waist for, Fu Shen was eventually able to stiffly sit up. After a careful examination, he was almost frightened by all the bruises and love bites on him. To say Yan Xiaohan was a dog would be speaking highly of him; he was indeed deserving of coming from the Flying Dragon Guard, because this devastation was pretty much like that of the Department of Punishment's.

He definitely couldn't go out and meet people like this. He vaguely remembered Yan Xiaohan saying that there was wound medicine in the headboard, so he reached out and pulled a drawer open, absent-mindedly feeling about inside it for a spell. No medicine bottle was found, but he did rummage out a small, hardwood box.

It wasn't locked. Fu Shen didn't think much of this, his hand quicker than his head as he promptly lifted the lid.

Two trumpet vine jade pendants laid beside each other on deep red, embroidered silk. One was like new, bright and shiny, and one had been inlaid with gold after it had been smashed, barely able to be mended back to its original look.

As it happened to be, he wholly recognized both of them.

He's long since known about Cai Yue. His heart was turbulent at the time, and it had been difficult to calm down. He believed that to have been

the limit of his distress, but he didn't expect there to now be another worry added on.

No matter which side he's looked at from, Yan Xiaohan was absolutely not a passive and weak person, to the point where he couldn't be said to even be benevolent or kindhearted. Only when it came to Fu Shen was he cautious to the extent that he was afraid to move.

Fu Shen could pick out a pile of faults within himself with his eyes closed: he had a bad temper, acted on his own accord, was heavy-handed when he should've been lenient, yet tried to be friendly when he shouldn't be lenient… he was even more ridiculously ill-versed in the world when he was a teen. Strictly speaking, he really wasn't completely without responsibility for that incident, but in the end, Yan Xiaohan was the only one losing sleep about it, experiencing full persecution.

What virtue and skill did he have, to be worthy of being treated so preciously?

During his trance, light and steady footsteps came down the corridor, coming up right outside the door a short instance later. Yan Xiaohan pushed the door open with one hand, a violet-gold pin-crown* for binding up hair in his other, and came inside. "Are you awake, Jingyuan?"

Fu Shen sat up in bed like nothing had happened. "Mhm. What did you bring?"

Yan Xiaohan placed the pin-crown on top of a small stool, brought a warmed outer robe over to the beside for him in passing, and spoke as he helped him put it all on. "Aren't you going to the Prince of Qi's Estate today? I had just called for someone to put gifts in order, then happened to find a pin-crown for you. You're visiting someone to give congratulations, you can't dress too plainly."

Fu Shen's waist was still aching. He leaned on the other lazily. "You'll be going with me there for a while," he suddenly stated.

Yan Xiaohan's hand trembled, nearly putting the pin-crown on crooked.

"I'm going with you?" he repeated in stupefaction.

Things like going to visit family together were only to be done by a right and proper married couple. Though he and Fu Shen were married in name – as well as married in truth – it was nothing more than a hollow wedlock to the eyes of outsiders. The Prince of Qi's Consort likely wouldn't acknowledge him as a 'family member' at all. Why would Fu Shen want to bring him with all of a sudden? Was he not aware of what this implied?

"It just so happens that you're going with the Prince of Qi to Jingchu next month, so you'll say your hellos beforehand," Fu Shen replied. "We're all a family, you two should get familiar in advance."

A family…

Yan Xiaohan's hands gently fell upon his shoulders, and, through the not very clear bronze mirror, Fu Shen caught a flash of helplessness pass by his face.

"What?" he smiled. "You've got a new niece. As her uncle's wife, do you not want to go see her?"

Yan Xiaohan could obviously detect the change in Fu Shen's attitude, and he wasn't sure whether it was influenced by yesterday night's lovemaking or not. Fu Shen seemed to have completely accepted him, cherishing him entirely without restriction on top of that. Even if Fu Shen had a good deal of indulgent concessions towards him before, he very seldom took the initiative to request anything of him, and the progression in their relationship was limited to just one another, not a thing known to outsiders. Now, however, he's apparently been transferred into Fu Shen's scope of 'self' at last.

He tried to quell his chaotic heartbeat. "You and I visiting together… aren't you worried that the Prince will get the wrong idea?"

"Wrong idea about what?" Fu Shen paused, after which had a realization. He coquettishly pinched the side of the other's face, unable to

keep from grinning as he spoke. "Our Mister Yan is pretty, gentle, pleasant, perfect in his wifely duties, and respectable and gracious, of course. Don't worry, keeping one's mistress in a pretty house isn't being done here."

"I can't…" Yan Xiaohan realized his slip of the tongue and abruptly shut up.

Fu Shen's expression sank in increments. "What do you want to say?

Finish your words."

When his imposing aura rose up, Yan Xiaohan immediately shrank. What could Fu Shen still not understand upon seeing him like that? There was pain and anger in his heart, and further still a shred of hatred that he still didn't get it. "Well, then," he proceeded to sneer, "I'm not aware of when, exactly, the magnificent Royal Inspector Envoy and High General got an inferiority complex?"

He had latched onto the meat of it and struck the nail on the head. Yan Xiaohan was speechless for a moment, eventually starting up with a strained voice. "Jingyuan, I'm covered in filth. I can't—"

Fu Shen slammed the table. "Yan Xiaohan! Keep talking and see what happens!" he bellowed harshly.

He'd just told the man to 'finish his words', yet now he wasn't letting him speak, which was honestly a little unreasonable. But Yan Xiaohan knew that he'd already understood what he'd meant.

He simply couldn't attempt to be selfish and infect Fu Shen with slime; the Marquis of Jing Ning had half a lifetime of a clean reputation, and mustn't be needlessly tarnished by his own life of dirty work.

It sounded absurd, but it was genuinely what he believed.

Fu Shen said he had an inferiority complex, and he wasn't wrong. With such an uncomfortable origin and growing up in that sort of atmosphere from childhood until adulthood… whether in a mad frenzy or in willing

humbleness, Yan Xiaohan was already the result of having done his utmost to exercise restraint.

In fact, Fu Shen was clear about the crux of Yan Xiaohan's issue was that he took him too seriously, and Fu Shen had failed to give him an ample sense of security. The discrepancy between their statuses was too great, and the more he cared about it, the more he weighed the gains and losses for it. Amidst the engrossment he couldn't help but possess, he was simultaneously distinctly aware that every single second of intimacy was stolen time.

It was a given that one could not be as unbridled as they liked in this world, thus he expended his heart's blood like so.

He was born with a snake's fate, yet hadn't its flaws. Such a thought… was bizarrely pitiful.

"The Emperor sanctioned a marriage for you and I. Was that not precisely to force you into becoming a half-member of the Fu family, in preparation for taking over command of the Northern Yan in an orderly fashion? Since that's the case, shouldn't you do your part and earn that reputation early on? Why are you doing the opposite by holing yourself up and not daring to meet anyone?"

Each word punished the heart.

"You're well aware that I'm not going for military power," Yan Xiaohan said, voice somber.

"Yeah, you're going for me. And I want to be with you out in the open, but you don't."

Yan Xiaohan's anger also rose up. "You think I want to be sneaky about it? You're a pure, meritorious official that's supported the country – is hearing that you're getting mixed up with with Court's bloodhound going to be pleasant to the ears?!"

"Alright, I get it," Fu Shen jeered in extreme fury. "You've said it over and over again that in your heart, Mister Yan, I'm not as important as a phony reputation."

Yan Xiaohan sighed, the anger leaving as quickly as it came. He didn't want to be quarreling with Fu Shen today. "Jingyuan," he said, trying to patch up the fight.

"Right now, you think that us being together is name-sullying," Fu Shen suddenly raised his voice. "You fucking already sullied me, how come you're only thinking about that now instead of then?!"

"..."

Mighty ancestor, please don't be yelling.

"I'm leaving these words here today. You and I were sanctioned a marriage by His Holiness. The Ministry of Rites set up the wedding. We officially wed as husband and wife. We worshiped the Heaven, Earth, and our ancestors on the Golden Stage. We completed the rite of the Duke of Zhou.[2] In the future, we'll fly on cranes to the afterlife as a pair, and we'll be buried in the same grave. A married couple is one unit. There's no question of being worthy or not; even if we go out this door, you can call me 'husband' by all rights."

Yan Xiaohan's eyes felt hot around the edges, and he was moved, and he was happy.

He didn't cry, nor did he laugh. Endless words arrived at the edge of his lips, and they all turned into one sigh. "I know what you're saying. Even if I died horribly right this second, I wouldn't have any regrets. It's just that gossip kills intangibly, and it's enough having just my reputation worn out by it. Listen to me and don't have yours suffer, too. It's not worth it."

"Did you not understand what I said just now?" Fu Shen said resolutely. "It's enough for me to have you, what would I be wanting a fake reputation for?!"

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Translator notes:

[1] 郡主 – lit. "master of a county", though for some reason, the -zhu (master) suffix denotes femininity in nobility, like the term for Princess 公主 (duke + master). There's no such thing as female Counts in ancient china, and the wife of a count would be Madam Count Whatever, but the daughter of a Prince also can't be called a Princess, because that term is reserved for the Emperor's daughters… so, Countess it is, I guess.

[2] The Duke of Zhou was a puritan who said you shouldn't have sex before marriage, and then pretty much no one listened to him, making the "rite of Duke Zhou" a sarcastic idiom. *This is what I call those hanfu headpieces men wear, because they're crown-like, and… have pins.