Regret

In the waiting room, Jinn and Saya sat intensely, staring back at one another. It was silent for a moment as Jinn was doing his best to keep a level head.

"I'm sorry Jinn, but…", Saya finally broke the silence, but Jinn cut her off.

"What have I done? Why are you always treating me like the bad guy!?", Jinn said as calmly as he could.

"Jinn this isn't about you, this is about keeping Kai safe, something I should have done a long time ago!"

"Don't give me that bullshit! You have been trying to separate us every chance you got! You can't do this to me!", Jinn shouted, tears streaming down his face.

"Kai has gone through nothing, but pain since you and your people have come into his life! Even the things he refused to tell me about, I could see how much he was hurting! I could always see it!", Saya raised her voice back and in walked Mr. Wilkins with Art to see the commotion.

"I have done what I could to keep him safe!", Jinn shouted.

"If that were true, he would not be fighting for his life right now! You have failed him!", Saya yelled, tears streaming down her pretty face.

Hurt and enraged, by what the small woman had just said, Jinn shot up from his seat, his body moving before he had even realized and Art darted across the room to hold Jinn back, with Mr. Wilkins right behind him.

"Calm down, Jinn!", Mr. Wilkins urged his youngest son.

"Saya please!", Jinn cried, both his hands squeezing either side of his brother's shoulders.

With her eyes watering, Saya stared back at the broken man in front of her, she knew how much Jinn loved Kai, she knew deep down how much this would hurt the man. "As Kai's power of attorney, I have the final say in this matter and granted I'd like to keep things the way they are, this decision is hard hearted of me. I'll let you see him, but listen to me Jinn, you need to seriously think about what I said, and think about Kai, not just yourself, he's in room 064.", said Saya.

Even though his knees had gone weak, Jinn darted out of the waiting room down the hall toward Kai's room. When he got there, he quickly raised his arm to open the door, but he paused, only placing his shaky hand to the doors handle. Through the window, Jinn could see Kai just lying there, his body quite still and Jinn had to stop himself from breaking down again. Taking a deep breath, Jinn exhaled, finally turning the handle and went in.

The tears continued to stream as Jinn's eyes danced back and forth, looking at every inch of his lover. Kai's skin was pale, there were cast, bandages and bruises everywhere, not to mention he was hooked up to a heart monitor with a breathing mask covering half of his face.

Slowly Jinn walked over toward the bed and all he could do was place his fist on the bed, to hold himself up from falling onto the floor.

"Just look at you…look at my little sun!", Jinn cried. Becoming overwhelmed, Jinn could no longer look at Kai, because the more he looked, the more Saya's words echoed in his head, this was his fault!

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry Kai.", Jinn's shaky voice whispered as he kneeled down to kiss Kai's cold little hand.

***

Thirty minutes had gone by since Jinn had gone into Kai's hospital room, leaving Mr. Wilkins, Saya and Art together. Mr. Wilkins had spoken with Saya a few times to get more information on Kai, but Art did not. The emotional man simply glared at the little woman the whole time, thinking that she was heartless. If it wasn't for their mother raising them better than that, he might've let Jinn tackle her, he almost wished he had of.

Letting out a sigh, Saya had finally had enough as she stood. She had felt Art glaring at her the whole time, and she knew he felt some type of way about what she had said, but she didn't care, if it meant protecting Kai, she'd forever stand by it!

"I'm going to go check in on Kai.", said Saya as she meant to exit the room, but she paused as the silent sir in the corner had finally spoken.

"You're a little bitch you know that? Do you feel powerful?", Art's sudden question demanded. Spinning around, Saya glared back at Art across the room.

"Arthur!", Mr. Wilkins tried to stop his son, but Art continued, ignoring his father like he wasn't still in the room.

"Do you feel good, dangling heartbroken men by the balls like this? How do you think Kai would feel about you trying to keep the people that love him away from him? I hope he hates you when he wakes up!", said Art, aggression growing in his deep voice.

"Heartbroken men?" Saya questioned.

"You fucking heard me bitch!", said Art, his voice rising in tone, it was clear that he was beyond angry!

"If being overprotective helps Kai live safely in a world with obsessive pricks like you, who will forever try to get into the pants of their own brother's boyfriend, then so be it!", the little women yelled, tears swirling in her big eyes.

"…", feeling his father's eyes on him, Art simply lowered his head. He was livid, yet embarrassed and it forced him to say nothing else. Saya had just outed Art to his father, something he hadn't even had the courage to do yet. Not only would he have to admit to his father that he swung both ways, but he also now had to own up to the other not so nice things that he had done to Kai.

Turning back to Mr. Wilkins, Saya bowed for a moment and walked out of the room, tears running down her cheeks. Quickly wiping her face as she glanced up, Saya saw Jinn slowly walking toward her, his eyes were puffy and his face was wet, if defeated had a look, that would have most certainly been it.

When they met in the middle, Saya expected Jinn to stop, thinking he would have something to say to her, but he didn't. He simply continued walking slowly on past her, dragging his heavy legs along. Letting out a sigh, Saya turned around as tears streamed down her face again, "Jinn!". she raised her voice.

Stopping a moment, Jinn just stood there. He didn't bother to speak of even turn around, although he was listening.

"Y…you…you can visit Kai whenever you want to, I'm sorry Jinn!", Saya finally blurted out, but she did not get the reaction she expected. Jinn simply continued walking down that hallway, turning the corner until he was no longer in sight.

After Jinn had come out of Kai's room, he left the hospital on his own and after hearing the things that Saya had said about Kai, Mr. Wilkins decided it was time for them to go and that he would take his son home. In the car the father and son rode in silence, Art dared not talk because he didn't know what he would say, he had no words to explain his actions. Quiet as well, poor Mr. Wilkins felt awful, he was hurting for Kai about everything that, that poor kid had gone through in his life. Kai was fighting a battle that a lot of them knew nothing about and Art! His son had disappointed the older man so bad, and it wasn't because Art was bisexual, it was because it was clear that he had tried to have his way with Kai on multiple occasions and Mr. Wilkins just didn't know what to say to that right now, so he said nothing.

***

Three very long and painful weeks had gone by and there was still no change in Kai's condition. Practically living there, Saya had spent her every waking minute at the hospital in the last twenty-one days. She wanted to be there whether Kai woke up or God forbid he took a turn for the worst.

The time was now 4:23 pm and Saya had cried herself to sleep in the chair beside her best friend's hospital bed. She had barely eaten and barely slept the last few weeks as she was all but holding her breath for her best friend.

"Sa…Saya…", a lethargic voice called out scaring Saya out of her sleep. Instantly, her eyes went straight to Kai, but he didn't seem as if he had woken up, had she dreamt that she heard his voice?

"Kai?", Saya said softly as she stood, leaning her head down a little closer.

"Saya..", Kai spoke although it was difficult as the mask was still over his face and his breathing was quite labored. The moment he spoke, the little woman collapsed onto her knees, happy tears and joy overtaking her.

Squinting his eyes as they adjusted to the light of the room, Kai slowly glanced around the room, it being full of balloons, cards and flowers.

"What…?", Kai began to say, but it was painful to talk.

"You were in an accident babe, but you're alright now! "Everything is gonna be alright!", Saya cried, "He's awake! He's awake!", her shaky voice shouted, alerting the staff at the nearby nurse's station.

In the distance you could hear multiple footsteps running down the hall. As soon as a couple of the nurses entered the room, they had left right back out, running to go get the doctor. After a few minutes of waiting, the doctors had come into the room and Saya got up to give them some space.

"So good to see you up!", said one of the doctors as he pulled out his flashlight and shined them into Kai's still very sensitive eyes. "Look to the left for me, now to the right.", said the doctor and Kai complied. "Do you know what day it is?", he continued.

"I'm not sure.", Kai replied as the doctor began checking his pulse.

"Right, how about the year?"

"Um, 2022?", Kai responded.

"Perrrrfect, can you tell me your name?", the doctor asked as he continued his examination.

"Kai Pak.", said Kai.

"Great, wiggle your fingers for me, now your toes.", and once again Kai complied. "Wonderful, so right now there doesn't seem to be any major issues, but I'd like to run some test since you've been sleeping for quite a while.", said the doctor.

"How long is a while?", Kai asked.

"It's been three weeks since your accident Mr. Pak.", said the doctor. Hearing this, a lump made its way into Kai's throat and his eyes watered. "I see.", he said softly. Seeing that Kai was a little emotional, the doctor put his hand on Kai's shoulder, "we'll get you something nice to eat and someone will be up to get you so we can start the test afterwards, okay? You're in good hands.", said the doctor with a smile before he left, along with the other doctor and nurses.

When the staff had left, Kai turned to his best friend, fear and hurt all over his bruised face.

"Kai…", Saya began to speak with tears running down her face, but Kai interrupted her.

"Could you pass me my phone? I want to call Jinn.", said Kai.

"Your phone was destroyed in the accident babe, you can use my phone if you like. A lot of people brought balloons and cards while you were asleep.", said Saya as she handed her phone to Kai.

Taking the phone, Kai paused as he was drawling a blank. "Did you ever get Jinn's number? I can't think of it right now.", said Kai, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry no, but he comes every day, I'm sure he'll pop up at some point.", Saya reassured her best friend.

"Oh, okay.", Kai responded, his eyes watering even more as he handed Saya her phone back. He knew Jinn had to be having a hard time through this ordeal, and honestly right now he just wanted a hug from the person he cared most for in this world.

Seeing that Kai was doing his best to hold back tears, Saya quickly perked up as best she could. "Hey Kai, I'll be right back, I'm going to go get some information on the test they're going to do, okay?", said Saya.

"…", not saying anything, Kai simply nodded as he stared down at his lap, the tears finally began streaming down his face.

"Be right back!", the little woman skipped out of the room with her hand over her mouth so Kai wouldn't hear her muffled cry.

Power walking down the hall, Saya had finally made it to the waiting room, wiping her tears before she entered the room with Jinn sitting, just staring off into space.

"Jinn.", said Saya, careful not to startle him. With that same unreadable expression on his face, Jinn turned to Saya, his eyes puffy.

Sitting down in a chair opposite to Jinn, Saya took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "He's asking for you.", she said softly.

Hearing this, Jinn's red and puffy eyes grew wide, "He's awake!?", he asked anxiously.

"Mmm, he woke up a few minutes ago. I haven't told him that you're here, so what are you going to do?", said Saya.

"…." Lowering his head, Jinn fiddled with his thumbs in his lap.

"Keep avoiding him because that'll make it better?", Saya suddenly spoke for Jinn, her voice shaky, yet snappy.

"I'm not avoiding him!" Jinn shot back. "I…it just hurts too much to see him like that.", Jinn continued, his tone calmer now.

"It happened Jinn, and you have to accept that, just imagine how much Kai is hurting right now, he needs as much support as he can get.", said Saya as she stood. I'll give you time alone with him, I need to talk to the nurses anyway." said Saya as she left out of the room.

After Saya was gone, Jinn stood, exhaling heavily as he made his way out of the waiting room and down the hall. Stopping in front of the door, Jinn looked into the window to see Kai sitting there and he could no longer hold back his own tears. He had been there every day since the accident, but he couldn't bring himself to go back into the room since that day. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see Kai lying in a pool of his own blood. Even seeing him all beaten up in that hospital bed just reminded him about everything that Saya had said the day of the accident. It was true that Saya was emotional when she spoke, but Jinn felt that she was right, he had failed as the protector, he had failed as Kai's lover.

With a shaky exhale, Jinn wiped his tears and turned the handle to the door. He was honestly terrified to face Kai again, but it had to be now or never.