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26. Season 2 finale part 1

AN: Here's the beginning of the season two finale. Keep in mind that Richard would not have told Derek about his affair with Ellis during their perspective talk. Seeing as Derek is with Meredith in this story line, I sincerely doubt he would have admitted that.

Derek collapsed heavily into a free desk chair at the nurses' station, silently thanking anyone who was out there listening that Burke had been able to move his fingers. He had been unable to gain perspective before going into surgery, had been unable to properly distance himself. All he could do was empathize with the injured surgeon, all the while wondering what he would have done in the same situation.

Would he have had the surgery?

So much of who Derek was revolved around what he did for a living. He was a surgeon; a very good surgeon. He saved lives. He made a difference. He needed his hands.

Preston Burke was an arrogant man with a God-complex, who hogged the ORs, but he too made a difference. He too needed his hands.

And if Derek had operated and failed...

He sighed and buried his face in his hands, reminding himself again and again that the surgery had been successful. He had removed the aneurism and Burke still had hand function. As long as Burke stuck to a solid physiotherapy program and any problems were detected quickly, he should regain full function. He would be able to operate again. Derek had been successful.

But the expression on his co-workers face in the OR haunted him. His eyes had been glazed from the anaesthesia, but nothing could mask the defeated, terrified look. His mind may have been sluggish and his memory foggy, but he had known. He had known what was going on. He had known the surgery was not going as well as could have been hoped. He had known there was a good chance he would never operate again.

Burke had been lying, vulnerable, on the table, surrounded by co-workers, with the knowledge that he may be about to lose a huge part of himself, that his life and job and everything he had worked so hard for could disappear, right in front of all of the people who respected him for what he did. All the while his girlfriend cowered in the corner, unable to look at him.

Whether Burke had been aware of Cristina's presence, Derek didn't know. He couldn't imagine being in the same situation, couldn't imagine having no control over whether he would ever operate again. And he could only hope that if he ever were, Meredith wouldn't cower in the corner. He hoped that she would be right beside him, holding his good hand and meeting his eyes. He would need her right beside him, holding his hand. He needed her.

She had promised him that she was strong enough to be there if something was ever to happen to him. She had promised that she wouldn't walk away. At the time, when everything was good between them and there were no potential problems like this weighing heavily on his mind, Derek had accepted her promise and been glad. Now, however, he was grateful. Just the thought of losing her from something he couldn't control... Well, that scared him more than the thing he couldn't control.

With a heavy sigh, Derek lifted his head. He needed to go and check Burke in recovery. He wanted to be there when the other man woke up. But first, he really needed to find Meredith. She would be able to calm his anxious mind; even if she didn't know what to say, she would hug him or smile or squeeze his hand, and that would make everything better.

As if she had heard his thoughts, he felt her eyes on him. He looked up and turned to the right, immediately meeting her tired green eyes across the hall. Relief coursed over him at the realization that he would not have to go and find her; that she was not in surgery or with a patient or somewhere else he could not get to her. She was right in front of him. Then he furrowed his brow as he realized she and George were sitting together on the floor, and she had not made a move to get up and approach him.

Pushing himself out of the chair, Derek wandered across the hall to her. Her eyes tracked him the entire time. "Hey," he said softly, and nodded a greeting to George.

"Hey," she replied immediately, but her voice was low and stilted.

"Hi, Dr. Shepherd," George answered as well, his tone similar to Meredith's.

"Do you have a minute?" He met Meredith's gaze and motioned towards toward the quiet end of the hall. They could find an empty on-call room or conference room.

She still made no move to get up. "I, uh, guess I have a minute, but I can't leave this spot."

He raised an eyebrow, glancing between her and George. There wore similar expressions. Derek detected anxiety, worry and guilt. "Why not?"

Meredith hesitated. "Uh... We're kind of on a time out..."

Derek blinked. "A time out?"

"Mmm-hmm." She and George both nodded.

"What did you do?"

She shook her head quickly. "I can't tell you."

Derek sat down onto the hard floor beside her. "Why not?"

She met his eyes and shook her head. "I just can't. Trust me, you don't want to know; not from us. Bailey refused to let us explain even."

"Why would she do that?"

Meredith pressed her lips together into a thin line and sighed.

"Mer?" He prompted, suddenly worried.

"Something about not wanting to be able to testify against us in a court..."

He felt his blood run cold. "What did you do?"

She shook her head again. "I can't tell you. I won't tell you, not now, not until everything is figured out."

"Meredith-"

"No," she cut him off quietly. "I won't do it. I know you, Derek. You would do everything could for me, and as an attending that would compromise you. Trust me, you want to stay in the dark for now."

"Okay," he agreed; reluctant, but knowing her well enough to know she had made up her mind. "Just...how bad is it? How much trouble are you in?"

Meredith turned away to glance at George, who shrugged, and turned back to him. She shrugged too. "We don't know yet. Bailey is going to deal with us later, and probably the Chief."

Derek inhaled sharply; that meant it was very serious. "But you're not in danger of..." He trailed off, not able to say it. He couldn't imagine coming to work everyday with her by his side.

Her eyes flickered slightly and he knew he had hit a nerve. "I hope not," she said simply. "But we did the only thing we could in the situation."

"Then it'll be fine," he told her, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers.

"Thanks." She squeezed his hand. "Oh, hey," she said suddenly, "How was Burke's surgery?"

"Successful, I think. I hope."

She nodded. "Good. I knew you could do it."

He smiled at her faith in him. "Thanks. I tried to find you before... I couldn't get perspective..."

"I'm sorry. I was..."

"Doing the thing you can't tell me about?"

"Exactly." She squeezed his hand again. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You're here now."

She tilted her head to the side and studied him through narrowed eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...I just can't stop wondering what would have happened if I wasn't successful, or..." He trailed off.

She offered him a small smile. "Doing in the 'what if' thing again?"

He laughed quietly and nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing."

"But you were successful."

"I know. It's just...his hand, you know? So important for a surgeon, so important. And it would destroy him if he couldn't operate again."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "It would destroy him, or you?"

He smiled, despite himself. She had, of course, deciphered exactly what was on his mind. "I can't distance myself," he admitted. "I can't imagine being in his situation, having to decide... I can't imagine what I would do if I couldn't use my hand."

Meredith pulled their entwined fingers into her lap and closed her free hand around the back of his, trapping it between both of hers. She ran her palm up and down from his wrist to his finger tips. "You do have good hands," she mumbled absently.

"Mer?"

She offered him a smile. "I'm trying to think of what I can say to make it better. It's not you. Your hands are fine."

"But what if it were me?" He knew he was being irrational and that they were having this conversation on the floor of a busy hallway, but he needed her. He needed her to comfort him.

"If it were you, and we couldn't fix it, then we'd find something else for you to do. You could switch to a non-surgical specialty. You could teach. We'd find you something."

His heart fluttered at her nonchalant use of the term 'we.' "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "And I'd love you no matter what you did. You know that, right?"

"I do. And I love you too, no matter what you did."

She chuckled, but nodded. "Good."

With a sigh, Derek leaned close to place a quick kiss on her cheek and released her hand. "I need to get to recovery before Burke wakes up."

"Okay. Oh," she caught him before he stood. "You should probably send Cristina to us when you get there. If Bailey finds out Burke is out of surgery and she's not with us, sharing in the time out, she'll be pissed."

He furrowed his brow. "Cristina bailed on the surgery. I have no idea where she is now."

"Oh..."

"But if I see her, I'll let her know where you are."

"Okay, it's not like we'll be leaving any time soon."

000

Meredith stood between Izzy and George, in the Chief's office, staring at the intimidating man. But for once, he wasn't so intimidating. Even though she should be scared of the consequences of her actions the night before when she had decided to help her friend, even though this man could make or break her career, and even though this could badly mar her reputation, Meredith wasn't intimidated. Meredith was angry. Two nights ago, she had awoken from a dreamless sleep in the middle of the night and had just known.

Richard Webber was the man her mother bragged about during her dementia induced rants in the nursing home. Richard Webber was the man who had kept her mother at the hospital so much, busy in the on-call rooms. Richard Webber was the man who had destroyed Ellis and Thatcher's marriage. He was the reason Ellis had moved herself and Meredith across the country. He was the reason Meredith hadn't seen or heard from her father between the ages of five and twenty-eight. He was the reason Ellis had resented her daughter so much. He was the reason Ellis had one day brought a scalpel home from work.

Richard Webber had taken too much from her. And Meredith was not about to let him take anything from Izzy Stevens. She had banded her fellow interns together before their 'interrogation' and made them all promise to support Izzy fully. There would be no confessions. Izzy would not be kicked out of the program.

"I cut the L-VAD wire," Izzy admitted beside her.

"Actually," Meredith began, looking the Chief right in the eye, "I cut the L-VAD wire." She had made sure she was second in line. She would support Izzy, and everyone else would fall into step behind her.

"No," George cut in immediately. "I did it. I'm the one that cut the wire."

Meredith breathed a small sigh of relief. The plan was working. No one could be singled out and punished if they all stuck together. There was a short delay and she felt George shift beside her to prompt Cristina.

"Fine; I cut the L-VAD wire."

"I didn't do anything. I'm totally innocent."

Meredith exhaled quickly, disappointed. "Alex," she chastised.

"I wasn't even here," he retorted. "He knows I wasn't here; you think he doesn't know that? The guy's not mentally challenged."

Arguments broke out between the five of them, but Meredith was confident that even if Alex wasn't willing to admit to cutting the wire, he wasn't going to rat on Izzy; it wasn't his style.

"I know who did this, so you might as well come clean," Richard cut in harshly. "I know."

"With all due respect, sir, if you knew, you wouldn't be asking us."

Meredith has to bite back a smirk. She was proud of the progress George had made since she had met him at the beginning of the year. Here he was standing up to the Chief of surgery, when seven month ago, she, Izzy and Cristina had had to force him to go to the Chief with a bribe to get a brain dead John Doe a heart surgery.

Richard sat back and glowered at them.

Meredith felt Izzy begin the tremble beside her. "I did-"

"You have your suspicions," Meredith cut in quickly, only half trying to hide the contempt in her voice. She had her own set of suspicions. "But you don't actually know." George and Cristina immediately backed her up.

The Chief was getting angry. He stood from his desk. "Well, one of you compromised a patient's life. One of you stole an organ. One of you jeopardized the integrity of this hospital, and of UNOS! Now you tell me, and you tell me right now!"

Silence.

Not one of the five of them made any move to speak. Meredith took her silent victory.

Still stewing, the Chief banned them all from surgery of any kind and demanded they take on a single case to share. And as her fellow interns filed out of the office, Meredith stayed until last, staring at the Chief. She would take any consequences that he threw her way. But she vaguely wondered if he had ever suffered from consequences of his own actions; Meredith had definitely suffered from consequences of his actions.

000

Prom.

Meredith had never gone to prom in high school, and now, here she was, planning one. At least she been assigned a relatively easy job. How hard could it be to order food? Meredith may not like prom, but she definitely liked to eat. Food was a good job for her.

She had scoured the nurses' station until she had found a small pile of catering menus in the back of a drawer, and was now searching for an empty conference room to sit and make her orders in peace.

Trying to read the menus and walk at the same time, Meredith didn't look up as she turned a corner. She had been working here so long that she could navigate the halls with her eyes closed; that is, if the halls were free of people. She collided with a solid form and her menus fluttered to the ground as she staggered to stay on her feet.

"Sorry," she said quickly.

Derek reached out for her elbow, steadying her. "Fancy running into you..."

She rolled her eyes. "Funny," she said dryly.

He chortled. "I thought so."

His hand left her elbow and he stooped to pick up her menus. She crouched and together they made easy work of it.

"So, I take it you've heard?" She asked when they were standing upright again, the menus securely back in her hands.

"I have. And there isn't a doubt in my mind that it wasn't you."

She smiled at his faith in her. "I can't say anything."

He nodded. "I know. And off the record, I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," she said, surprised. "I thought you'd be disappointed."

He shook his head. "There's an unnamed quality that you either have or you don't, that makes you better at this job, regardless of your skill. And Mer, you have it."

Meredith stammered several times, at a loss for words.

Derek smiled warmly at her. "So," he began, his tone much lighter than before. "I hear you're planning a prom..."

She rolled her eyes and motioned towards the items in her hands. "We are; interesting punishment, huh? I'm in charge of ordering food."

"Food is good."

She shrugged. "I guess. Though, it's definitely better than decorations. George and Alex are going crazy trying to deal with that." She laughed. "What kind of food do proms usually have?"

"I don't think it matters what you eat; it matters who you go with."

"You're just full of helpful today."

He glared at her. "I'm trying to make a point here."

"That food doesn't matter?" She shook her head at him; he was being weird.

He grumbled under his breath.

She giggled. "What did you eat at your prom?"

"I didn't go to prom. Band geeks with unkempt hair don't usually go to prom."

"You were a band geek?"

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded.

She laughed. "What exactly did you mean by unkempt hair?"

He hesitated. "Let's just say I hadn't figured out the whole product thing yet, and it was a little...big."

"Like afro, big?"

"I wouldn't go that far..."

She giggled.

"Hey, now you understand why I take so long in the mornings. Product is important."

Meredith kept giggling.

He glowered at her. "What did you have at your prom?"

"I didn't go either."

"Band geek, too?"

She snorted. "Hell, no. I did the rebellious thing. Wore a lot of black. Pink hair. Wouldn't have been caught dead at prom."

He raised an eyebrow. "Pink hair, huh?"

"Yup." She nodded, trying to look unfazed, even though she could feel heat rising in her cheeks.

Derek leaned in close to kiss her cheek. "I'm sure you looked adorable, even with the black hair and rebellious thing going on."

She rolled her eyes for a third time.

"So," he stated.

"So," she repeated.

"So." He emphasized with his head.

Meredith paused, confused. "So," she finally repeated again.

"So..." He said again, obviously looking for her to do or say something.

"Okay, do you want me to say 'so' again, or are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Don't you have something to ask me?"

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "About...?"

He raised an eyebrow and remained silent.

Meredith blinked three times and shook her head. "Okay, seriously, Derek, I have no idea what's going on here."

He made a big show of sighing. "Fine, repeat after me; Derek."

"Derek," she repeated, still completely confused by his behaviour.

"Will you..."

"Will you..."

"...go to..."

"...go to..."

"...prom with me?"

Meredith laughed at his antics. "Seriously? You're asking me to go to prom with you?"

"No. I'm asking you to ask me to go to prom."

"Why would you even want to go?"

He smiled warmly at her. "Because you'll be there."

"Derek..."

"And there's the whole getting to see you all dressed up thing..."

She smiled at him. "Do I get to see you dressed up too?"

"Only if you ask me soon," he countered. "I'm very in demand now. My dance card may fill up."

Meredith fought the urge to roll her eyes for a fourth time. "Fine. Derek, will you go to prom with me?"

"You could at least try and sound happy about it."

"I'm twenty-eight, Derek. And it's prom."

He shrugged. "So? I'm thirty-six, and I'm looking forward to it."

"Yeah, but you're the exception. Come on, Derek, you look forward to getting up in the morning."

It was his turn to roll his eyes at her. "I guess I'll have to be the romantic one here." He reached for her hand. "Meredith, will you go to prom with me?"

"So, let me get this straight. First you tell me to ask you. And then I do ask you and it's not good enough. And now you're asking me?"

He stepped closer to her, his scorching eyes making her heart flutter. "Just say yes," he whispered.

"Yes."

AN: Okay, so I had to watch the S2 finale over and over to get everything right, and there are a few things that I just have to comment on here. One – and this gets me every time – when Cristina says there are only three careers she's ever wanted...and that she doesn't SEE any extra countries or invisible planes lying around... hello, isn't the point of an invisible plane that you CAN'T see it? Second – and this I just noticed – how does Meredith call Alex from her cell phone at the other hospital about Denny? Seriously. Anyway...WooHoo; I broke 100k words with this chapter!

Thanks for reading!