Chapter 4.

Ji-seok and their mother both rose up.

" How much did you drink?" Ji-seok huffed at his older brother.

Ji-hun pushed the door close while leaning on it and he chuckled a bit. "Hey Soekyyy!" He hiccupped as he tried to stand properly but he fell back against the door again, his back hitting it. "I didn't know you had a double brother..." he said in a groggy manner as he swayed.

"He's so drunk," their mum said in an unbelievable tone.

"Why'd you drink so much when you cannot handle your liquor?! Do you know how worried mum has been?!" Ji-seok yelled at him.

"Seokyy, you look young for your age," Ji-hun hiccupped again. "I'm jealous."

"You have a baby face," Ji-hun continued with his slurred speech. By then he had stumbled to where Ji-seok was standing and he was patting the latter's cheeks. "Give me a hug!" he mumbled, draping his hands over his younger brother's shoulders.

"That's enough already, older brother!" Ji-seok jerked off his older brother's hands and pushed him away violently.

"Let's get him to bed," their mum sighed.

Ji-seok scoffed as he watched Ji-hun mumble unintelligible words as he played with his fingers.

"Really?!" he yelled at Ji-hun who looked at him and smiled lazily.

"That's how you repay mum, huh?! By getting drunk?!" Ji-seok yelled.

"No, no, no..." Ji-hun said in a sing-song voice and grinned foolishly. He tried to step closer to Ji-seok but he staggered and tripped. Their mum quickly rushed to help him up.

"I un..." Ji-hun hiccupped again and his eyes rested on the food that was on the table. "I'm hungry!" he announced instead in a loud manner and pulled unsteadily out of his mother's hold.

He took a rice cake and chewed on it. "It's good." He licked his fingers.

Ji-seok clenched his fists; he felt like beating the crap out of his older brother.

"Ji-hun, please, come and lie down. Here's water," Ji-seok heard his mother pleading. He turned to see her trying to help Ji-hun stand properly.

"You're just like dad," Ji-seok whispered fiercely, his eyes smoldering with an unleashed anger. Their dad had been the town drunk, always gambling and drinking before he one day disappeared into the night out of fear of the loan sharks that were after him.

As if Ji-hun heard him, his eyes shot up and all the silly giggling and chuckling he had been doing stopped. A soberness replaced his drunken stupor.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school, you jerk?" Ji-seok said scornfully as he looked at his brother. "While your mates are out there learning you're here getting wasted."

"Ji-seok!" His mum called in a warning tone as she turned to her younger son.

"What's the use?" Ji-hun said weakly and looked away. "I lied."

He laughed again but in a sardonic manner. "I wasn't sick, I never was."

"Why-" Their mum started to ask but Ji-hun only shook his head dejectedly and gulped down more of the alcoholic content that was in the bottle which he held.

"I'm not smart enough for a scholarship and there are just so many fees; tuition fees, textbook fees, money for tests and projects… Am I supposed to keep collecting money from you and Ji-seok, mum? You guys barely even eat one meal per day. You won't let me work and you say I should concentrate on my studies but how can I even do that?" Ji-hun said anguished.

"I dropped out."

"You did what, you jerk?!" Ji-seok yelled in disbelief.

"Did I ask you to worry about us?!" Their mum snapped at Ji-hun.

"How can I not worry, mother?!" Ji-hun protested.

"Why did you quit school? Just a few years more and you'd have graduated and gotten a stable job, you just ruined it all!" Ji-seok said through gritted teeth.

Ji-hun's gaze lowered to the cold, uncarpeted cemented floor for a long time before he looked directly at Ji-seok. "Aren't you tired?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"I'd rather die than let this way we live go on for a few more years. Me too, I want to help out..." He fell to the ground as a result of exhaustion.

"Ji-hun!" Ji-seok and their mum yelled in unison as they quickly went to where he lay crumpled in a heap on the floor, his body heaving from a deep sorrow.

His eyes were tightly shut but he was still mumbling, "I'm tired."

Ji-seok helped their mother spread out the bed and clear away the table and the cushions around it. He then laid his brother gently on the bed while their mum wrung out a wet cloth and cleaned Ji-hun's face with it. She then covered his body with an old blanket. After she was done taking care of her older son and he was sleeping peacefully, she went to meet Ji-seok where he stood by the window, looking outside.

"He's right," she mumbled as she stood beside her younger son.

She sighed and looked down at her weary hands. "But we'll pull through," she said reassuringly as she stared out of the window, determination creasing her brows as she gazed unseeingly at the distant lights of their neighbors.

Ji-seok turned to face her.

"I didn't want to mention this because I wasn't going to consider it but-" he paused and pulled out a sign-up sheet from his pocket.

"What?" His mum asked in a tired voice as she turned wearily to him. Ji-seok placed a calming hand briefly on her shoulder.

"I auditioned." he said simply as he looked out the window again. "An entertainment company wants me to be working with them. They've heard a couple of my tracks and like my rapping skills." He bowed his head.

"I could earn a lot." His voice dropped to a hushed whisper and he looked up and glanced briefly at his mother.

"What are you saying?" His mum asked with wide eyes, uncomprehending.

"I'm going." He turned to face the window again.

"What does that mean?" His mother asked, still staring at him with the tired expression still on her face.

"I'm going to train under Wic-It Entertainment Company, tomorrow."

"How long will you be gone?" His mother wanted to know.

"Five months? Twelve? Three years? Ten years? Honestly, I don't know," he sighed tiredly. "But I'll be visiting and sending money and--"

She cut him short by hugging him. "I'll miss you."

Ji-seok hugged her back.

Later on, when all was still and the soft snores of his brother filled the quiet room, Ji-seok sat up. He saw his mother had fallen asleep as well.

I'll have to take the fall for older brother's mistakes again. Can he just not do anything? He should just stay still and breathe… that's all he can do. Anything else is just making everything worse. A tear ran down Ji-seok's cheek but he wiped it off with his cheek.

"I thought I'll be finally able to go to university too, I even saved so much waiting for older brother to graduate," Ji-seok murmured to himself before sighing. Dawn soon crept in and their mother woke up but she got startled seeing Ji-seok was still awake. The dark bags beneath his eyes told the tale of him being unable to sleep.

"Didn't you sleep at all?" she asked worriedly but he just smiled a bit at her and stood up.

"Can you go to the Entertainment company tomorrow instead? You don't look very good," she commented.

"It's better I begin as early as possible, the trainee years are rumored to take quite a while," Ji-seok replied and held her hand when he saw her worried look, "It's okay mum. I love anything related to music anyway, you know how good I am at playing the keyboard, right?"

"I'm like a pro you know! They really need me in that company," Ji-seok added with a grin. That seemed to convince his mum that he was fine with the arrangements and she smiled a little at him.

"That reminds me," Ji-seok said before rummaging through a dusty old bag and bringing out a huge wad of cash which made his mum gasp. "Older brother has to return to school. Make sure you scold him properly before giving him this."

"Ji-seok, were you saving for-" she started asking with tear filled eyes but Ji-seok cut her off.

"No, I was not saving for anything. I just felt it would be good for us to have emergency funds and it turned out to be useful now." He smiled at her but she could see he was trying hard not to cry.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't let him know I gave you that, he'll feel too guilty. He should focus on his studies and work hard for the family," Ji-seok told her before stepping outside for a call.

"Hey, Hyo-mun," he smiled a bit as the call connected with his friend. "I'll be away for a while, you remember that agency my boss at the studio said I should audition for and I got in? Yes, I'll be leaving today." He kept quiet as he listened to Hyo-mun's response.

"Hahaha," Ji-seok chuckled nervously, "Did I say that? Anyway, I've changed my mind about it. No, it's not because I need money... I said that's not the case! I just want to gather experience, why would you lend me money? Don't be silly."

"I'll be going by the morning bus… you want to drop me off? But the shuttle bus is fine, I have enough for transport… Alright, you can drop me off but you better be here in fifteen minutes or I'm leaving without you. Bye."

Ji-seok hung up and sighed before dashing in to get ready.

Minutes later he had packed the few things he would be needing and hugged his mother one last time just as he heard Hyo-mun's car honk in front of the apartment. Ji-seok casted a glance at where his brother laid still fast asleep. He headed over and squatted down;

"Older brother, be good for mum, okay? Don't ever quit, no matter what," he whispered before leaving.

His brother's eyes fluttered open just as he exited the room, but he sleepily rolled back and resumed sleep. "I thought I heard something…" he murmured in a sleepy voice before he drifted asleep and started snoring again.

Their mother watched with a heavy heart as Ji-seok greeted his friend before they both entered the car and Hyo-mun zoomed off.

"I'm sorry Ji-seok, this will be the last sacrifice, I promise," she muttered underneath her breath before backing away and sobbing into her palms.

Meanwhile Ji-seok rested his head back on the first passenger's headrest and sighed. "You can sleep, I'll wake you when we arrive," Hyo-mun was saying.

"Thanks man," Ji-seok smiled a bit before closing his eyes but he still found it difficult to sleep. Hyo-mun watched with a corner of his eye how Ji-seok kept turning and tossing on the chair and inwardly sighed. Ji-seok had really been through a lot. Ji-seok, I'm going to stand by you, we'll stay side by side as friends like this – don't worry. When you return in a few years' time, the story will be different.

As if Ji-seok heard his thoughts, he turned to look at him.

"Why are you staring at me weirdly?" Hyo-mun asked with a snort.

"You were sneaking glances at me, you better don't pity me," Ji-seok snorted back. They both then burst out laughing. Before long, they had arrived at Seoul.