Chapter 3 MUTTERSEELENALLEIN

German adj. to be utterly and extremely alone and lonely that no one could even find you or reach for you, physically and mentally.

A lot has changed over the years, especially between Eunae and Jaehyun.

They were more mature now and have been building their own ways to reach their dreams. Jaehyun had been taking over their company, the same way Eunae did for theirs. Who would have thought that after a few years, they would be where they were now—handling big companies that provided means of living for hundreds if not thousands of people? More so, using the same surname not only on legal documents, but rather daily of merely being addressed?

Eunae had always thought that the union between them as lawful husband and wife would make them even closer, maybe even more than what they had as best friends.

But she was wrong.

Because the moment they exchanged their "I do", she had unexpectedly lost her best friend, completely.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Kim!"

Her train of thoughts was instantly cut short as a business partner approached her. In a second, she stretched her mouth into the smile she had grown to wear.

"Thank you, Mr. Park. It's a pleasure to have you here," Eunae greeted, reaching out her hand for a quick handshake. She had been doing this for a couple of times tonight for this accomplishment celebration.

"The board of directors is proud of what you've accomplished. I'd like to extend our sincere good wishes to have more collaborations with you in the future," he said, craning his neck. "May I know where's Mr. Jung?"

"It would be our pleasure to work with you, Mr. Park. There he is," Eunae said, pointing at the man who was a few feet away and had his back at her. "Shall we go?"

The walk towards Jaehyun seemed to be one of the longest and most painful walks she had ever did. It almost felt like crossing the path to hell, leaving her terribly broken and bruised. Every step seemed to burn her skin and scrape her flesh that her eyes nearly brimmed with tears.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jung."

Jaehyun abruptly spun on his heel and extended his hand, "Mr. Park, the pleasure is mine to have you here."

"Your business is soaring greater heights, congratulations! The younger generations are really changing the course of the game, huh?" he chuckled, swiftly glancing at the woman beside Jaehyun before looking back at Eunae. "I hassled Mrs. Jung to bring me with you, my apologies that I might have took your time with…?"

Jaehyun shook his head, "No, you didn't. I'd like you to meet Daeun," he introduced, as the woman unclasped her arms around him and extended her hand before giving a radiating beautiful smile.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Park. I'm Jang Daeun, Mr. Jung's assistant."

Almost instantly, Eunae felt a burning sensation surging her throat. It was too painful to watch that she could barely bring herself to make a sound, more so to utter a single word. The gut-wrenching view before her had her insides twist in the most horrendous way it could ever do that, she nearly broke down right there and then.

She was used to this seeing this; she should have been numb by now—she should have known better.

Knowing fully well on what situation she was in, her breath suddenly got stuck in her throat, grazing her insides excruciatingly. And just then, reality seemed to kick her back in the curb and forced her to wallow on her own dark void where her frightful narrative laid—closeted from everyone else to know.

As always, Jaehyun was true to his words.

When he said he was not like her father, he truly was not.

Jaehyun was way worse.

Because right after their wedding ceremony, he began seeing his ex-girlfriend behind her back. He began seeing Daeun, his assistant—his mistress.

"Mrs. Jung, are you okay?"

Eunae was pulled back to reality when Mr. Park lightly tapped her shoulder. Her thoughts had probably consumed her once again that she had lost track of her surroundings.

"I'm fine, I've probably had a few drinks," she chuckled, plastering a smile at the man who looked more worried for her than her own husband.

"Mr. Jung, why don't we get some drinks by the side and meet the Kangs? They've been waiting for you for a while now," Daeun softly suggested with the familiar tone that rang in Eunae's ears.

She knew what Daeun meant; she already learned her schemes. This was always her means of taking away Jaehyun—of making him flaunt her to his colleagues and business partners like how he usually did.

Jaehyun placed his hand above Daeun's arms which dangled around his, "If you could excuse us, Mr. Park."

Suddenly, the pain pressed in waves and crept into her heart as she watched them strode away. Her throat quickly drying uncomfortably and her mouth curving unconsciously into a harrowing smile, while they looked as ecstatic as ever. Gritting her teeth, Eunae swallowed hardly and pushed back the bleat that wanted to break through the surface.

This had been constantly happening for two years right before her own eyes.

Eunae could not help but wonder why it was still mortifying to be on her shoes. She should not be hurting anymore; should not be feeling this. She should have been used to this—she should have been numbed by now with all the atrocities they committed against her. At times, it would not fail to surprise her how she could still feel the stabbing sorrow hitting her deeply in the gut just like how it did the first time it happened.

Eunae felt her eyes stung as she watched them laugh, while he held a champagne glass. She wanted to swat those arms away from him forever, but she knew she could not. Not when Jaehyun valued Daeun more over her. As beaten and pitiful it sounded, it was the truth she had to live by.

Any moment from then, she knew her tears would dampen her cheeks, and she could not let it happen. She was still in the middle of a party with so many prospect business partners around. She could not tarnish their image; she knew she could not risk jeopardizing their companies even if that meant having to tuck all the hurt all at once. Eunae knew she could not act rashly—not when people did not know that their marriage was all a façade for business, and that her husband has been committing infidelity since day one.

Not really having any strength to stay in such place any longer, Eunae immediately walked away from the party with her head held high. She continued to exchange smiles and glances to people she passed by, not really minding how she had been crumbling from deep within. Eventually, she reached their garden where she chose to slump back and gazed at the stars. The little twinkling lights painted the lonely pitch-black horizon just as how her tears streamed down her face and decorated her cheeks.

As soon as she was finally alone, Eunae cried as if her heart would break. She keened for her dreadful fate and miserable life. She mourned for the wishful thinking of living the life she had always dreamed of—having a normal family of her own that she sworn to protect with her whole life. As the agonizing truths and the torturous reality consumed her whole, her poignant sobs ultimately wracked her body and woefully scraped her throat. The coldness of the night licking her skin like a comrade she never had.

Eunae had never wept in front of Jaehyun ever since she found out about his affair. She could not bring herself to confide with him like how the younger Eunae always did. She couldn't even breakdown in front of him when she couldn't even see any trace of the best friend she used to have in him; he wasn't the best friend she knew neither the Jaehyun she had always loved—she just didn't know him anymore. He was seemingly a stranger whom she had to live with under one roof.