Would've, Could've, Should've

Hope blinked her watery eyes as she spooned a bit of porridge into her mouth. The heavy smoke from the previous night had left a lasting impact. When she'd returned to the castle earlier that morning, she'd taken to the Prefect bathroom to scrub herself of the night's evidence.

While her clothing hadn't been salvageable, she at least got most of the stench of burning corpses out of her hair.

She combed her fingers through her hair now, focusing on the texture of the singed ends while staring blankly at the plain bowl of oats in front of her.

"Good morning-"

Hope nearly jumped out of her skin, her scalp tingling as her heart did a somersault.

With a frown, Newt carefully lowered himself beside her, but not close enough to touch. "Are-are you alright?" He asked gently, brows furrowing. "Did something happen last night?"

"What?" Hope asked, tone a bit sharper than she'd intended. 

Did he know? 

How could he know?

Newt's frown deepened. "Last night? The library? Did you find something?"

Taking in a breath, she let it out slowly, willing herself not to cough. "Oh, uhm. No," she glanced in Newt's direction, addressing the glitter of concern in his eyes, then murmured softly, "I'm sorry."

Last night was something Hope didn't regret, but it wasn't something she was ready to tell Newt, or even Albus for that matter. It was still too raw to process in her own head, let alone share with someone else.

Hope took another shaky breath, meeting his eyes.

"Newt, I know we said we'll be honest with each other about everything from now on, and I intend to, but I also don't want to talk about it."

Newt blinked his green eyes at her and slowly nodded. "Okay," he said, offering a lopsided smile as his curls bounced above his brow, "I trust you, Hope."

A soft wave of relief blanketed Hope's frayed nerves. She took another bite of porridge and glanced up as the doors opened again.

Albus walked in with a smile that didn't quite touch his eyes.

"Good morning," he nodded as he approached the table, "has Newt had a chance to tell you about today's plans?"

Hope pursed her lips and shook her head as she glanced over at Newt and then back at Albus. "He hasn't," she picked up a raspberry and popped it in her mouth, crushing it with her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "what are today's plans?" She asked around her own tart saliva.

Chuckling, Newt nodded. "Albus and I have separate meetings at the Ministry today at roughly the same time. Figured we could make a day of it, going to London."

Hope grinned. "Hmm, I smell the cinnamon rolls already."

With burning ears, Newt glanced around the place as if someone might hear his dirty thoughts.

Laughing, she sipped her coffee and nodded. "Sounds good to me." As she was about to spoon a bit more porridge into her mouth, a great horned owl swooped down and dropped a copy of The Daily Prophet in front of Newt and a copy of The Times, a Muggle newspaper that Albus read often. He said staying updated with both worlds was essential, especially now that Muggles were in crisis.

Newt unwrapped the band from the paper and suddenly sat up a little straighter. "Well, that's not too far from Hogsmeade, look." He offered the paper with the headline that read:

FIRE DESTROYS BAKERY - ONE DEAD.

Chills stripped Hope of all her warmth and replaced her blood with ice. She glanced down at the moving photo that depicted the remains of what was once the cheery bakery she'd visited on occasion to chat with a robust but pleasant Alice. The smoldering remains of the bakery were nothing but ash and a few unstructured beams ready to collapse at the first light snowfall. 

How they had gotten a story on it so quickly was beyond her.

Fresh tears stung her eyes, and she quickly looked away, clenching her jaw to forbid any quiver of her lip.

"Hope, are you alright?" Albus' soft voice came.

Silence fell between them before Newt gently touched the back of her hand. "You said you didn't want to talk about last night," his voice was even quieter than Albus's, "is this what you meant?"

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she tried to find her voice.

"You told us about Alice, she-she was your friend…" Newt trailed off.

Hope could feel their burning gazes on her. She cleared her throat and closed her eyes to relieve some pressure from behind her.

"I saw smoke from the library window and went to investigate," she clicked her tongue. Hope swallowed back the rest of her emotions to meet their searching gazes, "I got there and pulled her out. She died as I was putting out the fire."

Hope reached forward and picked up her mug before swallowing a scalding gulp of coffee that smarted her throat.

"Not sure what else there is to say."

"Hope…" Newt started.

"I didn't save her."

Albus frowned, taking the seat next to her. "You did what you could, Hope."

"I could have given her just a little bit of my blood, and she probably would have healed, but no, I wasn't thinking, and I put the fire out first. I should have-"

No words cut her off, but a sudden embrace silenced her.

Newt, to her right, wrapped his arms around her in a tight grip. He pressed his forehead against her shoulder.

They sat quietly, only hearing the occasional sound of someone coming in to eat breakfast, chatting cheerfully as if Hope wasn't in an emotional downward spiral.

"What can we do to help?" Newt finally asked gently.

Hope couldn't help but take a soft breath, followed by a small smile. "Hm, want to help? Take my mind off of it."

Newt nodded and kissed her jaw lightly. "Let's go to London now, we'll take a portkey to get there early and walk around, window shop a bit. How does that sound?"

Nodding, she poked her remaining food with her spoon, her appetite disappearing. The only positive to The Daily Prophet was the number of deaths they'd counted.

One.

Little did they know, eight more had occurred that night. 

They spent most of the morning exploring London but retired to the Ministry when a torrent of rain unleashed from above, soaking them to the bone.

Hope smiled, feeling slightly more relaxed than a few hours earlier. She still felt terrible guilt for not saving Alice, but Albus and Newt had taken every opportunity to distract her.

For that, she was grateful, but now she sat down on a bench in the main hall of the Ministry, surrounded by Floo Flame fireplaces. She would have to spend the next hour or two with her own pressing thoughts while they attended their meetings.

"We'll be back soon." Albus offered a small smile, taking his hat off that was stained wet.

Hope nodded, forcing her smile as they disappeared down a hall and out of sight. She drummed her fingers on her knees and glanced around to find a way to entertain herself. Something to keep her mind busy.

She settled for watching people and how they dressed; if they carried their wand visibly, she earned a point, and an extra point if the wand was light in color. She tried to get to twenty points when a voice came from her left.

"De ja vu." 

Turning her head, she was met with Thomas's sickly charming blonde locks.

Hope wrinkled her nose, ew.

"I see my presence isn't very welcoming to you," Thomas chuckled, sitting on the bench next to her, "I can understand that. Given the way we started off. Be that as it may, allow me to say congratulations," he gave a toothy grin, "it must be wonderful to have all of your memories back." He held a hand out, obviously for her to shake.

Her sight flitted down to his hands and back up to eyes that held no warmth. He wasn't holding a registry, but that didn't mean he'd given up entirely trying to get her name written down.

"Come now, Hope, I was…well, I was hoping we could be friends."

Tilting her head to the side, she studied him for a moment. "I was locked in a dungeon because of you," she murmured in a low voice, "you are no friend of mine."

The fake smile he'd been holding onto fell out of place. "I think you might want to reconsider."

Hope internally bristled.

"Are you threatening me?"

Thomas's smile returned, but it wasn't hidden behind fake niceties now. It was cruel with malicious intentions. "Never. I'm merely offering you an opportunity."

Obsidian colored her eyes. 

Her jaw clenched. "Do continue," she muttered, "I'm on the edge of my seat." Not far from where they sat, she noticed a man who seemed to be reading from The Daily Prophet, leaning a little closer to where they sat. 

As if trying to hear them better.

"An opportunity to join the Ministry, of course." 

Hope narrowed her eyes on him before gazing at the man sitting a few benches down. When she looked in his direction, his heart began to race as if sprinting.

Returning her attention to Thomas, she smiled as pleasantly as she could. "Thank you for the offer, but I've recently accepted a teaching position at Hogwarts."

Dirty lying asswipe, she thought.

Thomas pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded. "Just thought I'd ask, but good for you. Being the assistant in the Beast's class would be a bit…degrading. After, well, you know…" he smiled.

"Certainly an upgrade." Hope grinned, eyes flashing.

"Well, I'll be seeing you around, Hope." Thomas stood to leave.

Hope kept her shit-eating grin in place. "I look forward to it."

To serving your head on a platter, she thought as she twiddled her fingers goodbye.

"He was baiting me," Hope shook her head from her place in front of the fire, picking apart her gooey cinnamon bun; she licked her thumb and looked over at Newt and Albus, "the man nearby was listening to every word. Waiting for me to say or do something that would deem me an untrustworthy monster."

Frowning, Albus nodded. "I certainly wouldn't put it past him. He is the one who changed Fawley's mind, after all. I imagine it's his Werewolf vendetta. He's always had one."

Hope licked her lower lip. "You mentioned that before. His dad died from a Werewolf attack, and I get it; I'm sympathetic toward an incident like that, but he needs to stop. One of these days, we'll be alone, and the public eye won't save him."

Newt cringed but nodded. "He's playing a dangerous game."

Hope rubbed her temples and then glared down at her sticky fingers that made the sides of her face sticky. 

Chuckling, Albus lowered himself in front of her. He licked the pad of his thumb, gently wiped the residual icing off her face, and then licked his thumb again.

She'd be lying if she said the action hadn't slowed her thoughts a little.

"One crisis at a time," he murmured gently, "the creature in the mirror likely still haunts the walls, and you're still grieving from Alice's loss. Right now, we focus on what we can tangibly hold." He took her chilled hands into his warm ones before pressing a soft kiss against her forehead.

Hope breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

"You're right. Focus on the here and now, or I'll drive myself crazy."

Smiling crookedly, Albus leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against her lips that were still sweet with icing.

"I think," Albus stroked her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, pulling it down a little to show her lower teeth, "you need a distraction."

Hope couldn't stop the soft whine that fluttered through her, and before she could speak her approval, he was already lowering his slacks and underwear. His already hard cock sprang free, the tip brushing against her chin.

Without a moment's hesitation, Hope parted her lips and unhinged her jaw, taking his length into her mouth as deeply as she could.

Albus fucked her mouth with slow, deep thrusts that made her eyes water. In the next moment, Newt stood next to him, his erection already out. 

He reached down, stroking her jaw lightly.

"We're both going to use that beautiful mouth, darling."

Hope moaned, nodding her approval just as Albus pulled out, pulling a string of saliva with him. Almost instantly, Newt's length took his place.

They switched off every few minutes, building themselves up and then pulling away at the last moment, but Dew touched Albus' forehead on his next turn, and Hope knew he was about to blow.

Hope didn't have much control as they tangled their fingers in her hair, moving her head at the angle they wanted, so she hummed around him, and it seemed to be what he needed as he came in a sudden cursing burst.

"HOPE!" Albus cried out, most of his cum going down her throat while some dribbled down her chin.

Newt managed to last just a little longer after that, but he too soon succumbed and climaxed down her throat.

Hope panted as she lay back against the blankets in front of the fire's warmth, eyes closing as she basked in its heat.

"Hm…" she mumbled as fingers traced along the skin just above where her pajama pants started. Still, she didn't open her eyes as the fabric was removed, leaving her bare to the flames.

"Relax, sweetheart." Albus smiled softly against her ear.

He lay down to the right of her while Newt took a place to her left, caging her in. 

Hope listened to the crackle of the fire and sighed softly, letting herself take his advice and relax against the blankets and pillows. She wasn't sure who pushed a pillow under the small of her back, but the action ushered a soft moan from her chest.

A single digit swirled in her sex, stroking through her wet folds in careful motions, circling around her sensitive bud that ached to be given attention.

Her own heartbeat drowned out the sound of anything else. She didn't know whose fingers were where, and frankly, she didn't care.

Hope's eyes rolled back as two fingers pushed deeply into her, stroking the roof of her channel. She sucked in a sharp breath while another finger circled her clit; letting out a frustrated mewl when it didn't massage her the way she wanted. She had half a mind to reach her own hand down but came to the sudden realization her arms were trapped beneath their bodies.

Two fingers suddenly began rubbing slow circles against her clit while the other two continued their internal strokes.

Hope's toes curled, her thigh muscles clenching as slow pants overtook her breathing. It was a slow but delicious build. One that didn't allow for any extra thoughts, only ones of pining pleasure.

Her breath caught as a tickling sensation deeply penetrated her entire being before suddenly releasing in crashing waves. Hope cried out as stars filled her vision, her hips trying to squirm away, but it seemed they had a good hold on her. Making her ride out her orgasm to its blissful end.

Hope's eyes fluttered open, hardly aware of the lavish kisses against her throat as she fell back and forth between an awakened state and unconscious. Gentle fingers kneaded into her taught muscles.

She fell asleep less than a minute later.