Nothing Is Bigger Than Nothing

Was it possible for a heart to explode out of one's chest?

Hope was positive it could.

Peggy gazed up at her with big brown eyes that blinked slowly, and her little lips formed a tiny 'o' as she yawned.

"She's so perfect." Hope murmured while sitting on Queenie and Jacob's apartment couch, holding their little Peggy, who came into the world only weeks ago. 

Queenie grinned delightedly as she gazed down at her with more adoration in her eyes than Hope had ever seen. "Isn't she?" She murmured

Hope couldn't remember the last time she held a baby- had she ever? 

One this small?

She wasn't so sure she had.

Everyone from dinner last night was crammed comfortably into the tiny apartment that held the Kolwaslski's life. While last night had been filled with so much talking and laughter, this moment was almost silent as all eyes watched little Peggy bundled in a pale yellow blanket, stretched her arms out, and closed her little fingers around the hair that fell, framing Hope's face.

Tears touched her eyes as warmth filled her soul, holding her so carefully. As if she might shatter from simply holding her. Hope couldn't say she'd never wanted children- in fact, there had been moments in her life where she'd craved the experience desperately.

This was one of those moments.

Holding something so fragile and defenseless brought out a motherly instinct that harbored deep within her soul. 

Yes, there were times when Hope ached to love something so innocent, but then she looked in the mirror and reminded herself of who she was. 

Hope was not a mother.

She was the Tribrid- a Mikaelson legacy that didn't deserve to bring something like this into the world. Who would want to inherit the life and name she had for herself, and what ignorant man would like to get their child into the world through a woman who had torn out hearts and dismembered bodies on numerous occasions?

No, she'd never be able to have one, but this moment was nice. Being able to embrace something so soft and needing protection and guidance. This moment was everything.

It ended all too soon, but she couldn't complain as she carefully handed Peggy to Newt, who gazed at her with so much fondness it made her heart skip a beat?

Or was that her uterus?

Jacob beamed under his mustache. "Looks just like her mother, don't she?" He sighed as if he were in an ethereal dream.

How Newt and Albus held Peggy sent sharp pangs through Hope's stomach. They two were meant to be fathers; she could just feel it. While Newt held her with a look of wonder, as if he'd walked into Hogwarts for the first time, Albus cradled her with an expression of deep-rooted devotion.

Albus chuckled softly as Peggy stared at him with undivided attention, as many often did. "Such a small being, yet bigger than the whole sky." He murmured, his soft voice slowly putting Peggy to sleep. He continued to rock her slowly.

As Queenie carefully took Peggy to her chest, she swayed out of the room humming softly, likely to put her in her bassinet.

Tina sighed longingly with a small, sad smile. "Maybe someday." She murmured, and Hope didn't miss her eyes that flickered toward Newt and quickly away again.

Hope would let it go for the baby only a wall away, though it did bring on a metallic taste in her mouth that she had to chase down with a sip of coffee.

"What are your plans for today?" Tina asked then, and Hope couldn't help but wonder if her expression wasn't as concealed as she thought.

Newt nodded with a smile. "A bit of sightseeing, I think. Hope hasn't seen the city as it is now."

"That's right," Jacob smiled and curiously leaned forward, "what's the future like anyway?

Hope fought a smile and shook her head. "I don't think I can really answer that."

Albus chuckled and nodded. "Meddling with time is not to be taken lightly, Jacob. The universe has a way of dishing out consequences where they're needed."

That was a nice thought, wasn't it? Imagining karma chasing down the man in the cloak made her smile as she brought the mug to her lips again.

They visited for a little while longer before bidding goodbye once more to take to the streets of New York City. It was still a magnificent city, though seeing so many foreclosed businesses was a bit of a damper.

Still, Hope sighed softly as she walked along the sidewalk, gazing at the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" Newt asked who was on her left.

Shrugging, her smile slowly turned downcast. "Nothing."

Hope could feel he and Albus exchanging a look but didn't argue as they continued. They visited multiple sights, and occasionally, Hope would let something of the future slip. At one point, she accidentally mentioned in passing, "After World War II…"

"World War what?" Newt asked in a hushed whisper, eyes widening.

Hope cringed and scrunched her nose. "Yeah, I need to stop talking."

It was approaching late afternoon when Hope's stomach audibly growled. Looking around, she pointed out a hot dog stand not far away.

Newt smiled. "I'll go and get us some." He disappeared, counting out the Muggle American money from his coat pocket.

She and Albus leaned against one of the buildings and waited, watching people pass by in the streets.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Albus asked, voice level and calm.

Hope glanced over, blinking her eyes quickly, and slowly shook her head as a rising dread threatened her voice. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Smiling crookedly, he cast his warm blue eyes on her. "Peggy."

It was instinct to avert her eyes as that familiar sensation bubbled inside her. A desire that she pushed away every time it came up.

"There's nothing to talk about…" Hope murmured, throat tight.

Silence stretched between them for a long moment before he finally broke the silence with the question she'd prayed he wouldn't ask.

"Do you want children, Hope?"

"It doesn't matter what I want." Hope retorted and then cringed. She hadn't meant to sound so venomous. It made her tongue tingle with regret.

Albus frowned and turned to face her more directly. "What you want always matters."

Hope scoffed then and gave him a look. "Me? A mother? Could you imagine?" She rolled her eyes.

Albus smiled fondly and tilted his head to the side. "I can."

Letting out a humorless laugh, she shook her head. "Don't patronize me. That's not something I'd ever be meant for."

"Who says?"

"Me," she snapped at him, "everyone I've put in the grave. The people I'll eventually force to take their last breath because it's what I do. I destroy and collect, and there is nothing motherly about the monster that I can be." Shaking her head, she looked across the street, staring at another foreclosed sign. "I'm not fit to have something so pure." She muttered as tears stung her eyes. In an even lower voice, more to herself, she said. "What kind of man would even want a baby of mine."

The action was too quick for Hope to comprehend, but Albus's nose practically touched hers. His hands pressed on the brick on either side of her head, caging her in. Forcing her to gaze directly into his soul.

Hope's breath hitched, only vaguely aware of the people walking by them, but none said anything.

"Hope," Albus murmured as her bottom lip trembled, "what you do with your body is and always will be your choice. I will never pressure you into anything you don't want, and I know Newt feels the same. If you choose to become a mother one day, we will help make it happen. If you decide that is not the path you want to take, then that is the choice we will stick by, but you need to know that you always have a choice." Albus glanced down at her lips and then up to her eyes again. "I will not speak for Newt on this, but as for your query to who would want a baby of yours… I would. Please believe that."

Hope's voice seemed incapable of working at all, and out of the corner of her eye, she watched Newt's feet stop just to her left. She swallowed hard as Albus stroked a stray tear on her cheek with the warm pad of his thumb.

"Hey," Albus murmured, making Hope glance up at him with reddened eyes, "We love you. Nothing changes that. Nothing."