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THE LAST HEIRESS OF OBLONSKY, BEATRIX

The sound of guns... The darkness... The smoke... Then, oblivion. Everyday, I am haunted by my nightmares. Everytime the thunder roll and lightning strikes, I shivered. Looking outside my window, I am writing my daily journal and poetry today... To release all the pains and tensions from my past. And I wrote.. December 18, 1980 Myshkin, Russia My beloved, Have you ever ask yourself... What's your life purpose? If.. Are you doing the right thing? Are you on the verge of confusion, loneliness, unhappiness and being stagnant? Day dreaming into your own world? Too much questions filled in your heart and mind. Too much of everything that you don't want. Too much! To clear out my confusion and to have more clarity about myself, I dig deeper inside me. Reminiscing my childhood moments and cherish them. Facing the darkest and painful moments of my memories. Those memories of repeating horror, memories of loss, memories of death. Yes, I did face it all. I cried hard. After decades of those patterned memories... This is the first time that I realized.. How I treated myself so badly. And I really wanted to give back to myself. By appreciating my past. Appreciate yourself more... Love yourself more... And you will discover more... I have discovered each words, all feelings, expression, harmony just fits well to take steps in writing this poem for my past. ***A LETTER FOR MY PAST SELF*** My dearest self in the past... I have been visiting you lately in a vast... You are carefree, immature and FEARLESS, You go out more, loving the sun and grasses, Full of sweat and sun-kissed from above. Joyous days, feet touching stones and green Oh How glorious those days have been Flowing like water in every storms within And wind touches, caressing my skin Telling me, It's ok dear, everything has it's purpose". A path full of journey and a dead rose All those rise and fall, I am with you... All those tears and laughter, I am with you... I am always with you til the end of time. You have no choice, we are both destined. Oh loving sun and dreamy moon, Grace us the light in our path divine, My past self, I thank you! For the wonderful memories... In my troubled present, found peace in you. Beatrix ********************************************** As I closed my journal... I just hear my Nana's footsteps and call out. "My princess, it's dinner time. Don't forget your coat, it's a bit freezing today!." "Yes, coming Nana!." I checked myself in the mirror for the last time, before sharing the table with Nana. The beauty in the mirror speaks of simplicity and elegance. I'm tall at my age of 15, around 183cm, with soft silver wavy hair and emerald green eyes. I'm looking at the reflection of my mother. And before my tears fall. "Beatrix?" A hint of annoyance in Nanas voice. "Yes, sorry Nana." Then, we silently eat our beetroot soup. In the same month, in different year. Our mother gather all of us, her children, near the fireplace hearth, made of granite and marble stone. My eldest brother Maxim played the piano while my older sister Annika played the flute. While me and my mom, cheerfully singing. Then, our beloved father Dimitri, joined us in our joyfulness. Amidst our liveliness, the commotion outside the House of Oblonsky raised our fears. People shouting with torches and guns. My father Dimitri was stunned. I'm crying in horror. I hugged my father...for the last time. When.... My small voice... bellowed "NO!!!!" "Mama, Papa..." "Maxim, Annika..." 

L_StellaLuna · Histoire
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35 Chs

THE TRAIL

Stefan started to unload the saddle bags.

And I helped him with the lunch boxes.

"Your highness? what's the matter? is there something wrong? I asked impatiently.

"No nothing is wrong, it's just that the trail is not good for the horses. We need to hike." he answered.

Then some weird looking man ... approached him.

"Your highness!" he bow down. "How can I be of help? he added.

"Hello Oscar, my friend!" Stefan shakes his right hand and tap him in his shoulder.

"We will be hiking today! I am with my guest here... Princess Beatrix.." he turned to look at me.

Then Oscar ..bow down showing respect and said " Pleased to meet you, your highness!"

I nodded.

"Your Highness, I'll bring you some hiking sticks to help you with your trek, give me a minute." he added.

Oscar left us alone outside his native house.

While waiting...

I examined the lunch box bag, it's a kind of one strap bookbag. I decided to put it in a crossbody position for easy hike.

Then, I saw Stefan managed to put up the camping bag to his back by himself! that's quite a big bag to carry.

Now.. I started to feel worried.

This is the first time that I'll be hiking in a mountain.

I hope that everything will be ok.

Oscar returned with four hiking sticks and hand out two hiking sticks each.

Then he said to Stefan " Please be careful at the beginning of the trail your highness, black bears are being spotted on the area lately."

Black bears?

Haven't seen any bears my whole life!

Stefan looks at me... and I felt skeptical.

"Are you ok My Lady?" he asked.

I couldn't utter a word.

I just nodded.

We leave and started our hike to the beginning of the trail.

We reached the entryway with wide parking area outside.

A small signage written "Harding Icefield Trail" 8.2mile round trip.

My eyes widened and felt astonished.

That's quite a hike!

"Are you afraid, My Lady?" he asked teasingly.

"No, I'm not.. I'm fine, Your Highness! " said in irritation.

I'm worried with my feet. If I have known, I should have changed my footwear! I muttered.

"Let's then start our hiking, and be sure to make use of the hiking sticks when the trail become dense." he said.

"Yes, I will, thank you for the reminder, Your Highness!" And started to walk.

The footpaths are made of rocks and stones, it's a rocky road trail, the hiking sticks are truly helpful.

We passed through a small bridge with small valley of waters flowing.

Then a little resting hut for hikers on the side of the trail.

As we continue our hike...

my eyes is feasting on the thick greens and lush vegetation on each side of the trail.

Welcoming us with different kind of flowers and raspberry bushes.

It feels like ... I'm in a different world.

My soul is singing in an utmost joy!

We continued our journey on the trek.

Then we passed through the heather filled meadows...

Two miles from the entryway, we have reached the Exit Glacier as Stefan announced cheerfully.

Then he pointed out the massive chunk of ice, carving like a valley.

"Do you see that? That's thousand of iced compressed together."

"That's splendidly beautiful!" and I gasped.

He look at me ...

His eyes... outlined a feeling of fondness.

Then he asked....

"Aren't you hungry My Lady? We already passed our lunch time."

"Oh..I forgotten about it..by just looking at the beautiful scenery!" I replied.

"We need to eat..we still have to hike above the trees, the summit" he said while unpacking the camping bag.

He laid out a picnic blanket.

And approached me..

Helping me with the lunch box.

Then.. we are settled.

Enjoying the view and the food.

He offered me some coffee from the thermos flask and I warmly accept.

I smiled and say "Thank you.. Your Highness! I felt fortunate to be here."

He just nod and smiled.

We collected our things and started to our journey again.

As we continue on the ridge...

All covered in ice!

I called out Stefan.

"Your highness, my feet is freezing cold. I couldn't continue."

I retreat and move when...I fall into the ground, my legs..is having muscle cramps.

Stefan immediately approached me.

And carefully raised my body from the ground and carried me.

He walked briskly.. withstanding the weight.

We returned to Exit Glacier location, where he laid me down in the ground and stretched my legs and start massaging my feet up to my legs.

I felt relieved.

"You should have changed your footwear earlier..My Lady..Are you feeling better now?" he said in a composed manner.

"I'm so..sorry..Your Highness.." I stammered.. feeling cold.

He took the thermos flask and let me drink the warm coffee.

I finished the coffee and feeling better.

We are starting to walk back to the trail when we saw two black bear cubs.

And then their mama bear behind.

"Your highness! " I whispered and feeling frightened.