Walter Gibson

(From now on you will be reading the notebook)

Hello! To whoever is reading this in the very far future hope, alright my name is Walter Gibson; I am an Irish 24-year-old man, I live in Dublin. It is the most beautiful place in Ireland for me, I am writing this because a doctor I am seeing told me to write down the story of my life, and he said that it is a good way to release the sadness and the stress, so here it is.

I was born on 1956, February the 5th, in Dublin of course, my parents were Marry and Jack Gibson, we were neither rich nor poor we were on a medium level, shortly after my birth on the 3rd of March 1962 My mother gave birth to my sister Vanessa, I was 8 years old when my mom gave birth to my sister, I was very happy back then since I was having a sister, my parents also were very happy about it too.

We lived quite happy for a long amount of time until 1965 when my mother Marry started to suspect my father, she thought he was having an affair with some co-worker of his, she tried her best to hide it all from me but she couldn't, I was a bit of a clever kid, I was always waking up on hearing my mom fighting my father and asking him about the female perfume she smells on his clothes, I remember perfectly that my father was telling her that was just picturing things.

For a while I got used to their fight especially that we used to hear some neighbors also fight with each other, the fights stayed for almost 9 months till the day my father came back home from work and on that night he did not come back too late as usual and when he got in he said to my mom

- Take the children to bed Marry!

He said that with a strong tone that did not seem to have any good intention, at least my mom knew that because while she was putting us to bed her left hand was a bit of shaky and I saw terror on her eyes when she fixed me bed for me, but the thing that made me sure of her condition was the moment when she kissed my sister's forehead, a couple of my mom's tears fell on Vanessa's forehead through my mom's lips, then I was sure that something was happening, I could not sleep but I pretended that I feel asleep so that my mother would stop worrying about us, my mother loved my father more than anything else, she even married him against the well of my grandparents that were my mother's parents.

That night my father brought to my mother the papers of their divorce, He put them on the table and told my mother to sit

- Take a sit, and take a look at these papers.

My mother sat on the chair and checked the papers for 2 minutes then she said while she was trying to hold her tears

- What is that supposed to mean Jack? I do not understand why do you want a divorce?

My father looked at her and said without showing any care

- You were right! I was cheating on you! I do not want to cheat on you ever again; I am deciding to divorce you! And…

My mother stopped him right before he finishes his words while she was crying she said to him

- But I cannot live without you, I love you more than anything else in this world, I cannot be away from you! And I ju…

My father stopped her and said to her on a cold and evil tone

- But I do not love you anymore, I love Jane, she completes me, she is very smart, young and beautiful, I cannot believe that I have been able to spend all of this time argue with you after every beautiful night with Jane.

My mother stopped him and sat on her knees to beg him, her eyes were full of tears and she started crying and literally begging my father

- I will never argue with you again, I will never say anything to you as long as I can see you! You can even bring here home and make her meet the kids, or you can go with her on travels! Just please do not divorce me, I really can't live without you, and you know that!

My father made my mom stand up and made her sit on the chair again, and then he gave her a pen and spoke

- You and I can never be together, Jane is pregnant and she needs a husband to support her, just if you sign the papers, I will leave the house and the furniture for you and the kids, I even will find a cleaning job for you on the company where I work! Do not make this process long and hard for all of us.

Hearing those words destroyed me, back then I thought only about myself, I put my head on the blanket and started crying, imagine how my mother felt on that moment, the man she loved most, the only person she really cared about is leaving her. I did not hear what the end of that conversation was, but I am sure that my mom signed the divorce papers because few days after that my father packed all of his clothes and just disappeared without even saying goodbye to me or my sister.

Shortly after that on 1967 my mother was working on the company where my father was working and she was seeing him every day smiling to his new wife and enjoying his life, he did not care about my mother at all. Vanessa was always asking my mother about my father, my mother was always saying

- Your father is happy and well, and he hates me

My mother suffered for years being able to see the only man she ever loved enjoying his life with another woman, and not even being able to say hello to him. All of that suffering drove my mother to start drinking; she started to drink at home every night after taking us to sleep and starts to talk to herself whenever she gets drunk

- I loved him, I fought for him, I fought my family for him, I carried his babies for him, I quit my studies for him, and I did everything for him! But all what I got in the end is his smile with other women and 10 hours of a horrible job for the rest of my life. All what I wanted was just a loving husband and some lovely children, is that too much to ask for God?

My mother Marry was repeating this almost every time she gets drunk, she kept doing it for months, her routine was cooking for us the breakfast after waking us up, going to work, coming back from work, putting us to sleep and getting drunk then falling asleep on the coach of the living room.

My mother stayed on that endless circle until that night, the night of the 21st of September 1968 when she drank too much and did not talk, she came to our bed room, she slowly kissed Vanessa's forehead and said

- I am sorry darling for leaving but I just cannot handle this anymore, I really hope that you will understand my reasons once you are a grown a mature woman.

She said those words while crying, hearing that squeezed my heart

- Is also my mother leaving us to be with another man? Is my mother going to die? Is my mother going far away?

All of these kinds of questions came to my head, I could not hold it I started crying because of what I heard, and then my mother went to the room's door and said

- I cannot touch you Walter, it will wake you up, I know this is too much for you but I really hope that you can take care of your sister for me, you are a smart boy! Bye bye! My beloved children!

Then she got out of the room and closed the door, I couldn't keep my voice down I just let a cry and I bit my hand, I wanted to feel pain on any part of my body other than my heart, because I couldn't heal it or get used to it or do anything about it.

Few hours later I heard people gathering outside my mother's house and someone was knocking the door insanely and screaming

- Walter! Walter! Are you in there? Are you alright? Is your sister alright? Walter open this door now!

It was a familiar voice; that person was our neighbor Mike who used to buy me and my sister gifts on Christmas.

I ran to open the door, I opened the door, I saw on Mike's face so much terror and worry, he was freaking out, behind Mike there where policemen and people gathered, I tried to get a better look, right behind Mike there was a an ambulance with people touching a lady that was on the grown drown in blood, her legs and arms where obviously broken, here head was extremely damaged, her brain was all over the ground, her eyes weren't even closed, she was wearing a red dress and high hills also in green, her mouth was open and there was blood drilling out of it. The worst thing happened; my mother killed herself, the shocking view made me lose conscious, I woke up the next day with a blurred memory about the previous day, but shortly after I woke up I the memory of my mother's body came back to me, I was on Mike and Alisa's house, after they released I was awake they came to me to try and comfort me, all what I did that day was screaming and crying the whole time, they tried to everything to calm me down but nothing worked I was screaming the whole week

- This is his fault! It all happened because of him! Take him to prison! He killed my mother! He left us and tortured us for years!