Chapter 6

Months went by and Paul and I were still no closer to speaking to each other. It was not because we did not want to but there is just no time. We were all graduating in less then a month and I was thrown around trying to finding the perfect dress, the perfect date and I was in charge of all the slide shows and technical stuff.

As much as I said that I did not want to be apart of this celebration it was something that I had been waiting for for many years. I was never the girl who wanted all the attention and presents but I did love any occasion to go shopping and get dressed up. I had spent weeks trying to find the perfect dress while also trying to get all my homework done and organizing our grad ceremony. I had little time to contemplate if I wanted to be with Paul or not, but he was patiently waiting. Many times I would come home to find flowers in my room or other gifts that he set in my room. As much as I appreciated them it made my decision even harder. He was trying to make it up to me and I appreciated it but I had a whole future ahead of me that I had not thought through. I wanted to be a teacher, to inspire young children and I could not do that with only a high school diploma.

I wanted a future but the only place I could go was to Florida because they had decent colleges and I was unsure if Paul would even come with me. He had his own wishes and dreams. Everyday that I thought about our future together made me even more unsure if we were really meant to be. Yes I knew that our fates were intertwined and we were going to end up together no matter what but none of our wishes ever aligned.

One day when I was in my free period he came up to me with a chocolate bar in his hands.

"Here I got two and I do not feel like eating two"

"Why do you keep doing these things for me. It has been months"

"Because I believe that we are meant to be together and I am willing to try everyday to make it work"

"But what about our dreams they are different. You wish to stay here all your life learning a trade to keep you afloat and I wish to inspire children but I can not do that here. It is inevitable that we will separate."

"We are not separating yet we still have time but you wont give me any of that time"

"Because I am scared that I will get attached again and then time will be up and we both will be gone separated again."

"Then we will not separate, I will follow you to Florida find work and the where ever your job takes you we will go"

"It can not be that simple"

"But it could if we made it"

"I guess, maybe"

With that he sat beside me taking out his books from his bag he started doing homework.

"You do not have study hall with me" I stated questionably

"I switched mine to today so that we could spend some actual time together then glances in class or smiles in the hallway. I am trying here, I just wish that you could see that too." I did not really know what to say to that. He was actually trying no matter how many times I told my mind that he wasn't, he truly was. I was the one that was not trying. I had let my grief and terror rule my head all over again.

"What are you doing for Grad?" I asked

"Umm I do not know I wasn't thinking of anything really why?"

"Do you want to go with me" It was a moment I never thought I would come to. I was asking Paul to spend a day with me that signaled we were back together, as much as I wanted to admit I was not ready to take this step but to be honest I was always ready, ever since I had kissed him. It was me who was to scared to take the next step in our relationship.

"Do you really want to go with me?"

"Would I have asked if I did not want to?"

"Good point, can I think about it?"

"Of course but the grad is in two weeks so you do not really have much time."

"That was a joke of course I want to go with you"

"Well its settled then pick me up at 8"

"Okay I will then" I smiled at that comment. Things may have started to look up for us. Once I took the steps to welcome him back, maybe the problems we faced in the future would not be so difficult, but there was only one way to find out.