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The Immortal Player

Auteur: RDream
Bandes dessinées et romans graphiques
Actuel · 2M Affichage
  • 298 Shc
    Contenu
  • 3.9
    51 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

Being born from a rich family, Pedro Armaz was often scolded by his family because of playing VR games. Years after playing the VR game sensation "Bearth Online", he was about to finally obtain the victory he always dreamed of! Unfortunately, his guild fell short at the very end and lost due to the 'sudden' lack of guild members. He blamed everything on this so-called 'betrayal' of his 'former' guild members that eventually lead to his untimely death. And as he thought that everything was over, he woke up and learned that he traveled to the past, a year before Bearth Online's official launch! With his past experiences and knowledge as an advantage, Pedro is determined to dominate the brutal and unusual game, Bearth Online, and obtain his long-sought glory by becoming the strongest player in the world! ____________________________________________ I would like to give everyone a heads up, this story was made and posted as the 'raw' chapters. Most of the chapters beyond chapter 111 were edited but the Author himself is not that great with English. Thus, there might be some inconsistencies, grammar mistakes, and such, but rest assured that the author is doing his best in editing/revising these mistakes. That said, I hope you guys enjoy the story! Regards, RDream. :D ____________________________________________

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Table des matières
Volume 1 :The Start of the Journey!
Volume 2 :Bearth Online: Open Beta
Volume 3 :The Beginnings of the Strongest Human Forces!

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
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Morning_Fragrance
Morning_FragranceLv14

Writing quality is dull and boring. There's unneeded censoring, improper use of pronouns, and unappealing descriptions for skills and ****. Story development is terrible, it's going at a steady pace but the obvious plot armor is too blinding to look at. There is absolutely no balancing and stats along with skills are just randomly slapped down while the author thinks, "No one is going to bother to calculate anything, so it's fine. I'm a genius for making mobs so overpowered that a lot of people are in an endless loop of crippling their accounts." Character design.. Oh man, oh ****... Main character is trash for someone who has 7 years of experience while also running a guild/team/whatever you want to call it. I thought, "C-tier? Must of been really behind." But it's quite obvious that the main character is a fucking retard who made his way from sheer luck. Regarding NPCs and other players, their personality and appeal is just as worse as the main character; they're just really stale fluff to add onto the MC's sub-par design. World background. Almost non-existent. Locations names are just dropped down in text, there is no descriptions to build up on the scenery. "It's a cave. It's a forest. It's a road. It's a village." I wouldn't care if the main character was absolute trash if there was an actual world out there and not some **** that was thrown down on the spot without any details. Final verdict - Not even worth to read as a throwaway. And why the **** are you putting so much time into explaining the benefits of the beta when he's going to lose everything when the game officially launches? Please improve the world development, a story isn't a story without an actual world to it.

pandabanana
pandabananaLv5

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