9 • The Homophobe

"What?" She asks, stopping to look at me with confused eyes. Beautiful confused eyes. If it weren't for my friend's obvious feelings for her, I'd be trying to convince her to escape with me to the nearest suite, "Beau isn't rude, not at all. He's been incredibly sweet to me from the moment he arrived."

Huh... at least he's not misogynistic, which is good. I guess.

"I wish I could say the same," I murmur, taking her hand to give her a delicate twirl around herself before returning her to my body, "Every time I appear in front of him, he looks at me like I'm a cockroach. It's not hard to deduce that he's a homophobic piece of shit."

"You're gay?" Sam asks, looking at me with surprise, "But you have a girlfriend, don't you?"

I'm not surprised she knows that. Although we'd never sat down for drinks together before Monday, we've known each other by sight since she started working with Charlie. Besides, my relationship was very public and there aren't a lot of secrets around here.

"Not anymore. And I'm bi," I reply, brushing aside the memory of Dolly before I start to get doubly angry, "Men like Beau see someone with pink hair and start hating before anything else. But if you like that kind of man... it's your choice, I guess."

"I don't like him," she lets out, putting her arms around my shoulders with more confidence. The song ends, but we don't stop dancing until another one starts, "Do you?"

"No!" I defend myself, forcing the same disgusted face that came out so genuinely to Beau earlier, "I just want to save you from a potential abuser. It's all connected, you know? And you're more deserving of a man like... I don't know, Cain. He would be perfect for you."

Sam is petrified for a second and then keeps dancing, laughing and shaking her head.

"Cain and me? I don't see that happening," she says, though it sounds like a lie, "And back to your first point... Beau is not ugly. And I think you know that."

"He is to me," I spit, though it sounds like a lie too. And Sam laughs as if he knows it, "We're a couple of liars, Sammy."

"It's not a lie if you're in denial," she mutters and we both stay silent until the new song ends and then we turn back to Beau and Cain. Their talk stops when they see us. Sammy walks over to her date to take him by the arm, "Beau... come with me. Excuse me, we'll be back in a moment."

Cain frowns but nods and when we're alone, I let out a heavy breath.

"How long have we been friends, you and I?" I ask and Cain looks at me like I'm stupid.

"All our lives," he replies and then narrows his eyes at me when he realizes I want to get to something else, "Stop being so obtuse. Say what you want to say."

"You still think you can hide things from me? When not only do I know you completely, but I'm also extremely perceptive."

"For God's sake, Pinky. I'm not hiding anything from you."

"Then you're hiding it from yourself and apparently you're the only one in the dark," I comment, trying to walk away at that moment to leave him in doubt, but Cain grabs my arm and pulls me to him tightly, "Ouch. I'm a delicate butterfly."

"Tell me what you're talking about," he demands, without letting go of me. A couple of people turn to look at us, but Cain doesn't notice the scene he is causing.

"Cain," I say his name as loudly as he said mine and I move closer to him. We're about the same height, so I don't let him intimidate me, "You're in love with Sammy. It's obvious to everyone but you and her. And you're upset because your new homophobic friend is winning her over."

"I'm not in love," he defends himself, letting go of my arm and lowering his gaze for a few seconds to think about my words, "Besides Beau is not winning her over, he assured me they are just here as friends. And what do you mean by homophobic? You've only met him twice and he's never said anything bad to you."

"I don't need him to say anything, it's enough to see his eyes full of hatred towards me. And it's worth mentioning that I didn't do anything to him, so that just means he's homophobic," I spit, more annoyed than I should be. I don't even know why I care so much.

"Pinky... I have to admit I noticed earlier that he didn't look too happy when you showed up, but I don't think that's why," he says, making me open my mouth in surprise. I'm about to call him homophobic too, "Don't look at me like that, you know that kind of shit doesn't fly with me. And that's why I don't think he's like that. He's been nice to everyone since he set foot in the building, even Vic."

Vic is a sweet twink I was dating two months ago, very fem. He couldn't stand my intense personality so he blew me off after two weeks, but we've continued to be nice when we see each other.

"So I'm the only one lucky enough to have his contempt?"

"Apparently, so it's personal," he explains, crossing his arms at me, "If you're the only person he dislikes, gay or not, then you're the problem."

"Cain, what the hell," I complain, offended, "I am not the problem. I can't believe you're on his side, you just met him and I…"

"I know, and I'm not choosing him over you," he clarifies, rolling his eyes, "But, objectively, if you're the only person he doesn't like, it's personal. I'm going to ask him what's wrong with him. And if he tells me anything that sounds a thousandth of a percent homophobic, I'll stop trying to be his friend."

"Okay," I reluctantly agree, crossing my arms across my chest and watching Beau from afar chatting with Lambert, not paying attention to me, "And I'm not gay."

"I know that too, which brings me to my next point," he lets out, his voice becoming stern and annoyed, "What was that with Samantha, that dance? Maybe I don't know how to dance, but I know that no one was holding their partner like you were, or talking to them as close as you were... explain yourself."

"And you dare to say you have no feelings for her?" I mock, not even getting a smile out of my friend, "I was just dancing, sorry if I'm too sexy, but I wasn't trying anything with her. I was telling her the truth about Beau, too."

"Hmm. You're obsessed with Beau, you know that?"

"Just because I hate him as much as he hates me," I mumble, though his words make me shudder because he's getting so close to something that could be true.

{ Beau }

For almost an hour I'm Charlie Lambert's new pony. He drags me from place to place introducing me to everyone and at the end, when Charlie looks at me with a knowing smile, we return to the table where we left Sam sitting next to an elegant older woman who looks like a model, especially because of the way she is sitting with her hand holding a cigarette while chatting with another woman her age with the same elegance.

My mother could never look like that, like them. She is a depressed and bitter old woman who looks it. I've seen her once or twice over the years, from afar, and she looks worse and worse every time.

"I don't think I've introduced you to the most important person in the whole town," Charlie comments when we reach the table and stands behind the copper-haired woman, "My other half, Berenice. This is the boy we've been talking about."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Beau.... beautiful name, by the way."

"Thank you, although my full name is Bernabeu," I admit with a grimace, making her laugh as I grab her hand and shake it gently.

"Bernabeu, now it makes more sense. That ugly name suits you better," mocks a voice way too familiar for my taste, coming up behind me.

"Timothy, have more respect," the white-haired woman complains before stretching out her hand and introducing herself, "My name is Juliet. I don't work for Lambert, I just know these people."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am," I answer with a smile and sit down because I'm the only one standing now, but the only free seat is the one between Sam and Pinky.

Being near him makes it harder to ignore the future. Especially after what I saw earlier, when the sight of his nipple gifted me with a new future. A future where we don't get married, which is good... but I don't like what I have to do to get there.

It's a big sacrifice, however... I'm considering it.

Everyone chats around me as I swallow and try to ignore the man next to me, though he makes it impossible. He opened another button on his shirt, so now I can see his entire chest, including the tattoo of a drugged ghost near his left shoulder.

I try to study him some more to see what kind of man he is. I can't say he's feminine because he has no womanly mannerisms or anything like that... although his clothes and hair don't make him look masculine, either. It's a strange mix that I don't quite understand.

"Stop looking at me," Pinky suddenly commands, angry even in his whisper. I raise my eyes to his and I can see the confusion in them, "Do you want to fuck me or what?"

"No!" I spit immediately, frowning and feeling my whole body tense up at his words. This is the moment when I can take the 'easy' way out, but I cannot.

No matter which way I go, in all of them I end up sleeping with him. Even when I treat him badly, when I reject him, when I try to push him away from me. He still wants to fuck me.

Pinky is obsessive, no one needs to tell that me to realize it. The only way I can get rid of him is to take him up on his offer to fuck. Once I've done that, he'll forget all about me.

But I can't.

"I think you want to," he challenges, moving closer to me and I can't help but move back in fear that he'll try to kiss me just to get a reaction out of me. My response makes everything worse, his eyes narrow until they're almost completely closed and his fists clench.

I know I'm digging a fucking hole that I'm going to fall into sooner or later, but I can't stop myself. It's my natural response and therefore provokes a natural response in Pinky.

That naturalness is what's going to lead us to a fucking altar and that makes me shudder, but the alternative would be to openly flirt with him, show interest and take him to my house to fuck.

I can't.

"I don't want anything to do with you, Timothy," I whisper honestly, hoping it will work to push him away even though I know that's not how things work, "Stay away from me."

His mouth drops open in shock and now I know I've fucked everything up yet again, but I can't keep thinking about him right now, I need a break.