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Saiyan Gods - A Kidnapping Space Monkey

One starry night, Master Roshi shoots his newest technique into the sky. The Kamehameha hits Leon's spaceship and he crashes into the sea. Master Roshi: "Whatever I hit, I hope it wasn't important." Leon: -_- Anyways... Dragon Ball! Every fan may rejoice! Leon has been reborn as a Saiyan, and he plans to capitalize on his situation! A wholesome novel about growing up, while balancing the fate of the Universe. Witness how our "Hero of Justice and Everything Good in the World", learns Martial Arts, milks every last drop of Dragon Magic, and kidnaps children! HE KIDNAPS CHILDREN!?! Author: Yes, but he can't go to prison since his body isn't even 6. THAT'S NOT THE POINT! KIDNAPPING IS WRONG? Author: Oh yeah, he brainwashes people too. But don't worry, Leon is a good guy. (╯°Д°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Author: ^^ ... Alternate Title: "Ascending to Godhood with Babysteps" ... The following is a non profit, fan based parody. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, and Dragon Ball Super are all owned by FUNimation, Toey Animation, and Akira Toriyama. I don't claim ownership over any of the original work's characters. The cover image is taken from Dragon Ball Super. Please support the official release.

AcolyteofSolaris · Anime et bandes dessinées
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18 Chs

C.6: Leon, my boy! I have a great idea!

Tok! Tok! Tok!

Roshi's walking stick knocked against the metal hull, of what used to be a spaceship.

"Oh man! This is gorier than I thought."

Leon examined the small Saiyan-shaped-hole that still had bits and pieces of his skin, flesh and diaperwrapping hanging on the sharp edges.

'No wonder all those evil scientists never had a problem getting their hands on Z-Fighter DNA.'

It wasn't shown much in the Anime, because Dragon Ball was a kid's show. But in real life it isn't just blood that gets shed when operating with planetbusting ki energy.

He eyed Roshi.

In Dragon Ball, even old men with a puny Power Level of 180 could turn mountains into rubble. Erasing an entire moon, if they're willing to break a sweat.

"Well, that's a cracked egg."

Master Roshi declared innocently, nodding his head.

"It used to fly, you know."

"Right. Right. Right now it's an omelette. But what do we do now?"

Leon curled his lips incredulously.

"Didn't you lead the way so confidently? Anyhow, let me see if it's still working."

Saying this he crawled in, careful to avoid sharp edges, or the remains of his diaper. He knew that it had soaked in water over night, but it was also true, that he wore the same diaper for who knows how long. How did he poop? Don't ask him! Maybe Saiyan biology just works that way... Or the machines that put him to sleep were more invasive than he thought. A cold shiver ran down his back.

'Ugh. I really didn't need that mental image. I hope this doesn't follow me into my dreams as well.'

His mood now officially ruined, he pushed a few buttons to see if something was still working. Yes, he wasn't a technological wonder child, but this spaceship was constructed for Saiyans. It couldn't be THAT complicated. It isn't like they would send dozens of their children... to their death...

'You know what? I won't touch anything anymore.'

On that note, he decisively turned around. However, he miscalculated that he had the physique of a toddler. So his leg inevitably collided with a hidden lever, setting off a spring, which rapidly hit him in the back. A drawer crashed out of its socket, spilling its insides all over the floor.

Rubbing his back, he decided that he most likely didn't trigger the self-destruction mechanism, and congratulated himself to yet another day of life.

Picking up a stil dry paper scroll, he stopped breathing for a second, before shouting in joy!

"Hahahaha! I survived certain death twice, only to find such a treasure! If I didn't know any better, I'd think that I'm the Main Character!"

Waiting outside, Master Roshi shook his head.

In his hands Leon held a training manual of one of the few Saiyan-made Ki-techniques. The Power Ball. Doesn't sound impressive? Well it sure is! With the Power Ball, he could shoot a slowly dispersing 'Artificial Moon' into the earth's atmosphere. With this he could transform into his Great Ape form even by day! Without having to wait for the full moon! This would enable him to train safely in the transformation. He was a Middle Class Warrior, so he wouldn't lose his rationality as easily as Goku (that filthy low class warrior), making it possible for him to master the technique with time.

There was one catch though. He was unable to use it himself.This is because of the great strain it puts on the user, as Vegeta is shown to be very exhausted after using the Power Ball.

Then why didn't he just wait for the moon in order to train?

Fool!

If he failed to control the Ōzaru-Transformation using the Power Ball, he wouldn't need someone to cut off his tail, or worse. Destroy the moon! Just destroy the Power Ball!

Leon didn't worry though. Earth was a place full of brilliant scientists and experts in Ki-Based technology. There have been cases of scientists replicating Ki-techniques just by analyzing Z-Fighter blood. It would be quite a cruel joke, if it wasn't possible to make a Power Ball machine.

He was clueless, how this technique which could only be used by the Saiyan Elite got into his capsule. But he chalked it up to Buck having used his family's space pod and forgetting it there.

Convincing himself, he jumped out, his long coat getting stuck at the sharp edges. Making him dangle upside down.

"Hehehehehe!"

Roshi laughed like the old man he was, and helped him down.

"Arrgh! This coat will be deducted from your salary, private!"

Breaking the illusion, Leon bluntly stated:

"Let's go to West City and sell this to Capsule Corp."

With great reluctance and willpower, Master Roshi put away the pirate eyepatches and hat.

Bagging the spaceship in a Hoi-Poi Capsule, he turned away with a grave expression.

"Do you need money that much."

Hearing this, Leon was exasperated!

"Old man! I don't need the money! This is a spaceship. SPACE SHIP! Even if it's broken, if we give this to the scientists they can build another!"

Hearing this, the Turtle Sage brightened up. He would be greatly troubled, if he got the kid addicted to money, just because they were playing pirate.

"Ha! You can call me a fool. But I'm glad I asked."

Shadily looking left and right, as if the fishes were spies, he put down his walking stick like Gandalf.

"Do you know how you can get there? Because Leon, my boy! I have a great idea."

His eyes started twinkling, and Leon had an ominous premonition.

Oh man! I'm slacking off for one day! Scribbling down ideas, and reading bad Dragon Ball fanfics.

And I'm already comfortable with procrastinating again!

I really have to balance study, writing and rest better!

You don't do anything for one day, and poof! You are rusty.

...

...

...

In the next few days I'll come up with a more regular upload schedule. I'm german, so I should lead by example with punctuality!

Uploading chapters whenever I want, be it day or night, is just an insult to my heritage. :)

Anyways.

I reworked Chapter 2, and this will be the last chapter for today.

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