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Reincarnation into a Patchwork Abomination: "My Class is Alter-Ego."

Imagine, for a moment, you die. This is an unfortunate thing, but you managed to get lucky and draw the lottery ticket of Reincarnation! Woo! Isekai Dreams, right? But, get this, you aren't some Legendary Hero or Cheat-Swordsman, you don't even get a unique skill- You just get some scuffed serf class like "Farmer" or "Writer"... Well doesn't that suck! Well, it'll be fine. Even if people can already do those things, you can just do it better, so you can make one hell of a killing! Yeah, this'll be a relatively easy life- *thunk* *thud* A journey to live in a world where you're already dead.

VeryWrathfulNugget · Fantaisie
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5 Chs

003: If a Tree Falls

"Damn it, Damn iiittt!!" I continued running as fast as I could as my thoughts ran ahead of me, cursing not only this damned body but- More than that- My reaction to this whole thing, my hindsight kicking in and telling me that this was going to make everything much more annoying in the long run. "Tsah, if I go back to that town it'll be even worse, won't it. I might as well never go back there!" Scratching the side of my head frustratedly, I attempted to force my body to stop running.

I needed to calm myself down, take deep breathes, and take a look at my surroundings. As my sprint reduced itself to a brisk walk, I noticed the fact that I was way farther from the village than I had expected. Even in the past, with my longer legs, I'd say I was way slower than that. Truly, it seemed that a three in Agility was in fact a notable difference. If I was to guess, an extra stat was like a 'multiplier', making me about three times faster than before give or take. "I think I'd have to look into that more, however."  

I bopped myself on the head. I just told myself to take a look at my surroundings, and here I was trying to figure out how fast I was- Focus up already! Looking around at my surroundings, I confirmed that there was basically nobody around me- And I meant that literally. Not a person, not a peep. In the distance, hidden by the trees, I saw not a sign of a person. On the ground, I didn't even see a single footprint of a beast or man-shaped thing beyond my own footsteps. You might think I'm trusting myself a bit too much, but I'd say I was trusting myself too little with how clearly I was seeing it.

Holding my hand in front of my face and waving it back and forth, I noted my vision: It was good. Great, even. While I wouldn't say it was anything supernatural, I'd describe it as wearing the perfect prescription glasses for me at all times. "Wow." That was all I could say about it. In my past life, I had to wear glasses that became outdated for me rather quickly but never got the chance to replace them. In my life as 'Theophilus', my eyesight around that same level, but this- It was clear, it was descriptive, it was... surprising, undeniably so.

"..Wait a second." I stopped walking, redoubling my grip on my broom as I realized something... Why are there not even the tracks of an animal in a forest? Not even a peep from a Goblin? Not even a glare from an owl? I could understand no monsters showing up near a Town, since they'd likely learn not to go towards there after a couple of them died, but not even an ordinary animal? Not even small prey animals, or birds? It was off, extremely off, wasn't it? There was something here, wasn't there? But what? What if it was a monster with a stealth-based ability, wouldn't I be at risk then?

I remained there for a moment, cautious of my surroundings... Before sighing, and continuing to walk. While I had confirmed in my mind that there was something here, I knew it wouldn't do anything to stand around waiting for it to find me- Especially not at the level of strength I currently was at. No, not even at this level, I didn't know if I'd be able to fight them at a higher level either- All of my classes are below-basic level, aren't they? I wasn't sure how to apply any of my abilities in combat. Therefore, the smartest thing to do was to just keep moving forward. 

Eventually, I decided to split from the path I was walking when the path became too covered in trees to walk through, having to take a turn and head in a different path to the upper left of where I was heading. Eventually, I found myself at a clearing by a lake, a place that was somewhat settled in it seemed. At the edge of the clearing laid a wooden manor that seemed that it had gone uncleaned, and directly ahead of me was a wooden dock, with a barrel full of fishing rods and a somewhat uncomfortable looking chair besides it. Also, from what I could tell, there was someone sitting in it!

Deciding not to be rude, I adjusted my rough shawl and began to walk straight forwards towards them, to talk to them. But, I began to notice off things about it as I did. For one, this place was just as quiet as the forest that I had just walked on, no signs of anyone besides me and this person. In addition, the person wasn't moving in the slightest, not even rocking a bit in their chair or leaning forward. And most importantly of all, my last revelation...

The man was dead. His body wasn't warm, but it wasn't long ago. It wasn't a death done by human weapons, and the reason I knew that was simple: The thing that did him in was still right in front of me, a wooden spike as long as my broom and as thick as my head, shot straight through his chest and out the other side of the chair. Despite the wound, there was no blood, completely dry... "What the hell is this..?" Just as I asked that, I felt a premonition, my heart beginning to pound as I clenched my broom and...

"Broom Proficiency!" I spun around, swinging my broom into the open air. In truth, I was hoping I was merely being paranoid and that my broom would hit nothing, but I hope was for the people who were in safety. Instead, my broom hit something hard, making a 'kthunk' sound as I found something looking down at me. It was... "A Tree Spirit...?"

In the place where there was once a completely grassy clearing, there was now a tree- A birch tree, with countless branches hanging downward with blood-red leaves. Its roots were slightly upraised but still buried in the ground, telling me indirectly that it had no problems with stability- and no problem moving either. Most notably of all, however, were its eyes. One might expect it to have two glowing yellow eyes with a bit spiky open mouth, but they did not. They had countless eyes, all along its trunk in all directions, and yet they were all looking at me.

And as I was taking in its form, it swung one of its branches at me wildly- Which I responded to by raising my broom to block and letting me understand that its attack was... "H-HEAVY!!!" As I said, its blow was extremely heavy- causing my guard to be knocked off balance in that instant and barely giving me enough time to dodge the next swipe of its branches, its leaves grazing against my face and cutting across it painfully- Each one as sharp as a blade. Turning behind me, I knew that I was at a disadvantage here, with me having no place to run. Therefore, I had to go all out- Just this once.

Backstepping out of the way of another wild swipe of its branches, I reached for the barrel full of fishing rods- Grabbing a random one with my hand and.. at the same time, getting struck multiple times across my arm with another one of its branches, cutting it up multiple times... However, my arm was still there even though it was bleeding like crazy, and therefore- It could be used. Stamping my feet firmly against the ground, I held the fishing rod in one hand and my broom in the other, my grip around the middle of both of them as I had to bet everything on one move.

The Tree Spirit seemed to sense I was about to do something, as its branches began to raise as if it was prepped to cut me apart at this moment before it extended its branches forward- Each one elongating like a spear and a tendril at the same time, aiming to skewer me all across my body. It seemed to have been playing with me before, as well, as its attacks were much faster than before- Enough to overwhelm my measly three agility.

..Truly, what scuffed balancing, but whatever. I wasn't some hardcore gamer or anything, but in the Multiplayer Games I played... "I was a master at Situation Reversal!" I couldn't help but grin wildly, sharp canines on full display as I swung my fishing rod forward- Its hook going wide and missing the monster's trunk, but that was fine by me if my guess was correct. "BAIT!" All in, I casted the skill that I believed came from the Fisherman class. I felt a strange emptiness rush through the arm that held the fishing rod as it channeled through it, the tip of its hook glowing with a golden radiance.

And the monster's attack went off, every jab of its branches being offset in the direction of the branch. It wasn't enough to make the attacks miss me completely, but the ones that would've certainly killed me only cut me up instead- A much better situation from the alternative, to say the least. Naturally, I moved to try and capitalize on this- Advancing forward while the Tree was still confused and reeling both my Hook and my Broom up over my head before bringing them down onto one of its branches. In particular, I aimed for one of the large branches rather than the twigs extending from them.

My attack failed to break it off, and the Tree moved to attack again- But I hadn't expected to break it in one blow, I wasn't foolish enough to believe in my hope that much. I was prepped for the next attack, as I had already found a way to break it in my first attack. At the exact same time it prepared to attack, I casted my crutch once again- "Bait!" And its attacks went backwards. Not every attack hit its target, but the ones a short distance away did- Striking its own branch and causing it to crack slightly.

I had deduced that my Bait skill was a skill that basically changed the 'target' from myself to my fishing rod's hook and assumed that the reason why it didn't completely offset it is because it was already in the movements of attacking. Therefore, if I casted 'Bait' at the exact same time it attacked, I could parry its movements! That was the idea, and it did in fact work, but there was one issue... It was draining. Extremely draining, if I had to guess it took about 25% of my mana per activation, and considering how I had a Two in Mana that basically meant that just these two casts of it would have drained my energy completely without these enhanced stats.

"What... a load of... BULL!" Grunting to myself as I grumbled about this, I stamped my feet firmly onto the ground of the docks and pulled as hard as I could, hearing the sound of wood crackling as I ripped the branch off of the tree with my fishing line, snapping off at the same time that my fishing line snapped. As I expected from its red leaves, red blood began to pour from it- Far more than what I was losing with my cuts, but considering how long I had been bleeding since the fight began it wasn't really an advantage. I had to outlast it, and it had to outlast me... I believed we both realized this at the same time.

"..Graaahh!!" The Tree suddenly let out a loud screeching noise as it swung its branches towards me to attack. Ducking out of the way, I discarded the broken fishing line and ducked past it now that its attack options were cut by 1/4th. Reaching my hand to the ground, I picked up the broken branch and discarded my broom at the same time, assuming a fighting stance. As I picked it up, I felt the same calling that I had felt with that old broom with this one. Indeed. The leaves at the end, the long handle, it was... "A broom."

I swung upwards to match an attack from the branches that could reach me at this moment, offsetting the attack so that it grazed my shoulder. I then took this time to counter-strike, moving with a broad horizontal strike across its body. My strength was still the same, but the attack power of the leaves and the durability of the branch allowed me to actually do damage, cutting across the side of its trunk and taking out three of its eyes, causing it to let out another wild screech.

Its branches began to flail wildly as it desperately tried to hit me, but I did my best to remain in its blind spot until I found a chance to strike again- My next attack, raising the branch in my hands up over my head and bringing it down with a horizontal strike that cut across the same line I made from before- Taking more of its eyes as well as dealing more damage, creating a small point that was deeper than both of the previous cuts. 

Unlike Bait, Broom Proficiency didn't take as much mana to activate, but the trade off was that passively- It was a continuous drain on my energy, meaning I had to finish this quickly. Grabbing both sides of my broom with both of my hands, I went for a precise strike at that exact point- Only to miss as it dodged past the attack, its roots raising out of the ground to block my strike and push itself away at the same time. However, I could tell there was a reason for it not really leaving the ground often by simply understanding why trees remained in the ground in the first place.

Its stamina was going to be heavily reduced with its branches out of the ground, as I could tell from the way its eyes were drooping after just a mere moment of being out of the ground. So then, I should naturally... "Not give it a chance to recuperate!" Dashing forward towards it, I swung at it again as it attempted to burrow its roots into the ground, causing it to dodge away from me and swing at me with its branches again- Which I dodged. I'd then continue this process repeatedly, dodging out of the way of its attacks while constantly threatening it until- On the fourth repeat of the motions... it couldn't even jump, and its branches swings were as slow and gentle as swaying in a gentle breeze.

"Close your eyes and dream of the soil." I decided to say something cool, and the tree responded by continuing to stare at me with vitriol in its eyes. The spot that I had struck with my first two swipes was bleeding slightly, the place I needed to strike highlighted in deep red as I planted my feet firmly into the ground, lined up my broom- And thrusted forward with a precise strike, spinning the broom around in my hands to drill into it until I penetrated the trunk and reached its core- killing it.

BEEP! Tree Spirit (Young) has been killed! The Conditions for an Ascension has been reached: Leveling Up!

I received a System Notification, and was met with a strange sort of nausea as I felt my soul burn in a different way it did when I received my class. Strangely, it was only in my arms, but the feeling was.. awful. It felt like my muscles were being torn apart, and then reborn as something new. And at the same time, it felt like that same process was being done to something beyond my mere muscles, my very soul. And then, the sensation spread to my other body parts too, like a poison rushing through me- Multiplying the sensation fivefold, perhaps due to me being made of multiple people rather than just one.

I couldn't even scream as I collapsed to my knees, only being able to wait for the sensation to pass until.. It was done. Coughing into my hand, I checked my status and found...

Classes: X-5$#% (LV1?), Farmer (LV2), Fisherman (LV2), Cobbler (LV2) Janitor (LV2), Optometrist (LV2).

Stats: Strength (4), Vitality (4), Defense (3), Agility (6), Mana (5), Luck (3)

My stats had dramatically improved, basically all of them being improved twice over. In addition, all of my classes had leveled up despite only using two of them, although all of my skills hadn't leveled up. The skill that did level up, however, was Broom Proficiency at Level two. I didn't know what it'd do yet, but I could assume it'd basically just do its job better. But that raised another question for me: Why did only Broom Proficiency go up when I had used both BP and Bait in that fight..

And then I realized: I had used Broom Proficiency before the fight, which meant that skills could naturally level up without needing to use them in a fight. Thinking about this, I looked at my third skill, Shoe Make, and then looked down at the dead body of the Tree Spirit."..Sigh, I gotta do what I gotta do, right?" I shrugged, and got to work on it. I'm sure it'd be fine with me doing this to its body, right?

Longest Chapter yet! And also the first problem child out of all of my chapters, as I had to rewrite the beginning cuz I forgot to save (I'm an idiot). If you liked this one, please tell me below so I can work harder!

I am a very praise-fueled person, fufu.

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