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Protagonists are my Stepping Stones

Voted as the most funny and shameless fanfic on WebNovel.

_oinkchan · Anime et bandes dessinées
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46 Chs

Title at the end of the chapter.

"Alright. Everyone close in, I want all of you to listen carefully." I spoke as my lackeys came closer in the circle we had made.

Looking at the anxious Deku, smirking Cid, pale-faced Genos, and the banana-eating Charanko, I almost felt like face palming.

Upon the bed, Hilda sat with Baby Beel in her arms as she rolled her eyes looking at us, and one eye was always in the kitchen where Jabami was making a few snacks for me.

"I have an idea and you all will play an important part in it. If this works... we can be rich as fuck. Without the need to beg grandpa for money or rob any banks or kill a few lolis and sell them on eBay or fuck the wives of some rich cucks."

Cid's face instantly shone as he heard the word money, the man instantly started to smile creepily. I looked at him cringed and signaled Genos.

*Phtack!*

"Owwie." Cid shed a few tears upon being slapped in the head by Genos. Looking at the money-hungry Cid, I spoke.

"Don't get too excited Cid. Excitement is good but above all, we need to be calm, cold, and calculating. I will start assigning everyone their jobs, if you people have any ideas then y'all are free to input."

Everyone nodded. I gazed at everyone and then nodded myself. Umu!

I was about to begin speaking but at that moment, Jabami came and placed my hamburger on the tatami mat.

Looking at her, I realized. Even this girl can be useful, after all, she has been playing with numbers since a young kid plus she was a head of a clan or something similar if I am correct.

"Hachi, my shoulders have been hurting so massage them for me." My voice was stern.

The young bombshell put a finger on her mouth as she smiled in an 'ara ara'.

"Does master want me to massage something else too?"

My eyes dropped low as I checked out her body which was heavily covered. Nodding in appreciation I took a bite of the hamburger.

At least it seemed that Jabami Yumeko had the decency and understood my character during the time she has been my slave.

I don't like my women showing much skin in the presence of others, even in front of my seemingly gay and asexual lackeys.

"Yes, you may however business comes first." Jabami nodded as she trudged to my right and began to rub my shoulders.

Now. I have been keeping my dear servants lacking.

"Today I went to a festival...

~

Cid stared at my face with surprise written all over it as he spoke.

"So basically... you want us to barge into a school festival of the top cooking school.... and open an ice cream and milkshake stall near two Chinese stalls that make spicy food."

The expression on Cid's face made me feel a bit uneasy. Does this wanker think it is a bad idea? Well... maybe it is and maybe it is not. Even if the police are called upon me... I will get a chance to harras- *coughs woo the pretty policewomen. So it's a win either way.

Back to Cid. The kid trembled, his lips quivering and his eyes shining. Finally, he jumped off his pillow and shouted with his hands in the air.

"Yung mastha... you truly are a GENIUS!!! GENIUSSS!!! WE ARE GONNA BE RICHHHH!!"

My lips curled slightly. Of course, we are gonna be rich after all I am the mastermind. Glancing at Genos, we met eyes and then nodded profoundly.

*Phtack!!*

"OWWWIEE!!!"

~

"Before I begin to assign all of your respective roles, Genos go and register for me wherever a company is supposed to be registered. Tomorrow morning before we leave for the grind."

Genos nodded and then raised his hand to ask a question. Instantly I started to feel emotional which is surprising since I am male.

"What happened Gaynos?"

"What name should I register the company in?"

Hmmm. My face frowned as I went into deep thought. Name huh? I wonder what the company should be named.

'Oinkpany?'

'Oink Industries?'

'Miki Industries?'

'Miki the devotee of Oink the Great?'

'..oink...oink...Oink...OOINKK OINKKKKKKKKKKKKK-'

"Uh, master.... you there?"

Broken out of my daze, I glanced at Gaynoats and nodded.

"Name the company whatever you want to." (Insert what you want it to be named here)

He nodded and went back, his fingers on his chin as he fell into his own kind of daze. Oil started to drip out from his metal mouth.

*Frzzz*

A chill went across my spine.

I wonder what perverse thought he is coming up with. Actually... never mind... I do not want to know.

Okay, now time to assign roles!!!

"Coming up first!!! Lil Zoro!!" I pointed at the green-haired stripper as he looked at me curiously.

"Your job is to bait all the customers in with your cuteness. You have to act like a lost child and make people look for your parents but instead, you have to lead them to our ice cream stall!! UNDERSTOOD?!"

"Abuuuu!!!" The little soldier saluted. Next, I turned to look at Genos.

"Uhhhh Genos!!!"

He sat straight and looked at me with utmost seriousness.

"Sir yes sir!"

Umu!!!

"You have to lead customers to the stall using your hero popularity!! You gonna be our pretty femboy waiter. Understood metal robot?!"

"SIR YES SIR!!!" He saluted. UMU! NEXT!

"CID!" He looked at me, his eyes sparkling once again. This....guy.

"Cid, are you a masochist?"

"....."

"....."

"No?"

"Genos slap him again."

....

...

..

"Your job is to be the Mob. You should know yourself how important a mob is. Hence you have been given this prestigious job. You have to be everything from a Karen to the cannon fodder who somehow pricks the interest of more relevant characters to get attracted."

Cid looked at me shocked and soon started giggling.

"SIR YES SIR!!!"

UMUMUMUMUMUMUMUMU!!!!!!!

NEXT IS...

"Charanko!!"

He tilted his head up to look at me. Everyone including me visibility cringed at how he deepthroated the banana that he had been eating.

"Your job is.... you have to deepthroat bananas near the shops of Yukihira Souma and blonde-haired Chinese green tea wankher."

He nodded and smiled with a banana in his mouth.

"Shir Yesh sh- *COUGH!!* *COUGH!!*"

My eyes widened as we smacked his back hard to make him swallow the stuck banana. Seriously... hopmunchkin lads these days.

Then I looked at the final lackey.

"Last yet not the least. Dekoo. Your job is to do analysis on strategies and report it to my slave, Hachi."

Lowering my head back, Hachi's beautiful face came into view.

"-and your job is with the numbers. Accountancy etc etc keeping the books straight. Clear?"

She smirked haughtily and pecked my lips. At least we know that she is clear now.

Her gentle hands massaged my back and rubbed the very bones that made me stiff hitting in the best spots.

I recommend everyone to get a Hachi for themselves. Then again not everyone can get one and even if they do...

I will come to get their woman.

Be it Yukihira Souma or Gilgamesh himself.

All will have no other choice but to bend on their knees, their dick in their hand as I ram into their wives, mothers, daughters and lovers or potential female interests.

Cuz afterall....

"Protagonists are my Stepping Stones."

fanfic over

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