Chapter 48: Camping Trip

Kai appeared on the Merry with emotionless eyes. Landing right next to someone.

"Don't touch Merry." He said in a dull voice scaring the man he landed beside.

"Wha- how I didn't even sense you with my mantra!?" He asked bewildered.

Kai stared at him dead in the eyes. "That's not even what it's called dumbass."

He walked away from the man he was standing beside and walked up to Chopper who was frantically blowing on the whistle Gan Fall gave the crew.

The man who was here to attack Chopper and the Merry decided to charge thinking that what Kai just did was a fluke. He charged at Kai's back from behind him and used his spear to pierce Kai's head.

Chopper screamed. "Watch out! NOO!" As he saw the spear aiming for Kai's head.

Kai didn't look back at all, he only tilted his head to the side slightly causing the spear to miss his head to the right as it passed by where his head just was a moment ago. Kai's then used his left hand to catch the spear that was now in front of him. He finally looked back at the guy behind him.

"THAT'S how you use kenbunshoku, birdbrain." He said in his cold dull voice.

Before he pulled the spear towards him and punched the man in the face knocking him unconscious. He set the man down and dropped his emotionless facade.

"Wahaha! What an idiot! Right doggo?" He said as he turned to face Chopper who was staring at Kai in disbelief.

"What just happened?" Chopper asked.

Kai laughed again. "Some idiot attacked Merry and tried to kill a dog! What an asshole! Anyway, here." Kai said as he tossed the unconscious man to Chopper and Disappeared.

Chopper had his mouth drop to the floor but Kai was already gone. After a few minutes Chopper called out. "Wait! I'm not a dog, bastard!!"

Kai was already back beside Zoro at this point.

Zoro looked at him. "What did you do?"

Kai shrugged. "Took a piss maybe? Who knows really?"

Zoro chuckled and said. "Alright let's go." Before walking in the complete wrong direction.

Kai was going to sigh but he just stopped himself. He wasn't even disappointed anymore, he just expected it.

A while later.

Everyone arrived back at the ship when it got dark and Luffy, Sanji and Usopp rejoined the group. They all decided to camp on the island tonight instead of sleeping on the Merry. Kai walked over and set up his own tent. When it got dark the crew set a campfire and started sitting around it.

They were all hanging out and laughing before Kai thought of something and smiled.

He whispered to Robin. "Don't spoil anything."

Robin was confused until Kai asked Luffy. "Hey rubber band. Did you ever tell devil-chan who gave you that hat?"

Luffy thought for a while. "I'm not sure." He said.

Kai face palmed and Robin giggled. "No he hasn't.'' Robin answered for Luffy.

"Oh, then I guess I haven't. It was a pirate called Shanks! He had red hair and a scar on his left eye!" Luffy said happily.

Robin's jaw dropped. "Does he mean?"

Kai and Sanji both nodded at her. ""Yup."" They both said at the same time.

Robin thought for a second. "Nishishi! You really know a lot of interesting people, Mask-san." She said as she thought back to who Sabo was and started to wonder who Ace was.

Zoro realized why Kai did this. Shanks seemed to be a really well known pirate but most of the crew still had no idea who he was. Zoro was starting to understand that the world was a lot bigger than he knew. The rest of the crew were curious as to who he was but they didn't ask.

Sanji started to cook food over the fire and Kai started drooling. He was hungry! Sanji finished and handed everyone some food.

"Thanks love cook!" Kai said as he took a huge bite of fish.

Zoro asked Kai a question he wanted to for a while now. "Why have you never called him shit cook? You always call him love cook, I think it's the only nickname you haven't called anyone on the ship before at least once."

Kai kept eating as he said. "Are you dumb? Can you not taste this? He's a great cook! Why would I call him shit cook?"

The rest of the crew brushed this off as Kai just being weird. I mean he called Chopper a dog even though he knew Chopper wasn't a dog. Would calling Sanji shit cook be any different? Sanji excused himself to go to the bathroom when he heard this and Kai did the same.

When he got far enough away Sanji pulled out a cigarette but before he could light it a hand appeared and lit it for him.

"You're a great cook, Sanj. I'm proud of you…" Kai paused for a second before he added. "Mom would be too." He said as he walked away leaving Sanji alone.

Sanji had tears in his eyes as he muttered under his breath, "Thanks, Aniki."

He finished his cigarette out in the woods and Kai walked back before him. "Whew. I'm getting tired." He said as he got back to the crew.

They started nodding in agreement and went to bed. Kai was sitting in his tent thinking about the past. He had thoughts swirling around his mind about all the awful things that had happened and how he let his mother take that medicine. He still couldn't bring himself to tell Sanji as he thought Sanji would either hate Kai or blame himself for being born. Neither of which he wanted.

He started sweating as his thoughts got more and more intense. Eventually he decided to take a step outside. He walked out of his tent in his shorts and mask and lit himself a cigarette as he sat down on the edge of the cliff looking out at the Merry. He was looking for its ghost all night but it never showed up.

Kai was staring out in the distance and smoking as another figure walked up to him. "Can't sleep?"

Kai shook his head. "Thinking about too much."

The person sat down beside him and let her feet dangle off the cliff as well.

They sat in silence for a while before Kai asked. "Say, Robin, do you believe in god? Not the fake god of this island but a real god who overlooks everything."

Robin thought for a moment. "I haven't thought much about it, I was always too focused on other things to have the leisure to pray to someone who I don't even know exists."

Kai nodded. "I see. I'm torn. I find it hard to believe that someone who was almighty would just let people suffer when he could save them. But, I can't bring myself to completely rule out his existence either."

Robin leaned her head on Kai's shoulder and hummed. "Then what DO you believe in?"

Kai thought for a long time. "I'm not entirely sure, what exactly goes on with god or what not but I do believe in one thing." Robin nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

"What do you think about reincarnation, devil-chan?" Kai asked.

Robin pondered before answering. "Never thought much about it. But I do like the idea of it. It explains what happens in the afterlife while also explaining why some almighty god doesn't save everyone. If there is no almighty being and everyone just reincarnates then the world is bound to have flaws."

Kai nodded. "My thoughts exactly. Plus it's the only thing I truly believe in. Maybe there is or isn't a god, but I believe that people reincarnate."

This intrigued Robin. "You believe in it? Why?"

Kai just said. "How could I not? I'm living proof of it."

Robin was shocked. "What do you mean?"

Kai took a long drag of his cigarette and finished tossing it off the cliff. "I remember my last life."

Robin paused for a second before giggling. "That must be pretty handy. No wonder you're so smart, Mask-san."

Kai didn't laugh at this at all though. "You'd think right? But all it felt like was a curse. I couldn't do anything as everything in my life crumbled to pieces. I knew what was wrong and what I had to do to fix it but I wasn't able to. My body just couldn't do it. It's infuriating to see the right path but be unable to walk it."

Robin had a sad look in her eyes. "I see. That sounds hard."

Kai nodded. "Thanks."

There were a few moments of silence between the two before Robin spoke up. Trying to cheer Kai up a bit. "At least it's different now. Now you have the ability to do what you want. That must mean at least something."

Kai shook his head sadly. "Nothing has changed. I'm still not strong enough. I understand that not everything I do is useless. Nojiko taught me that, but I'm still powerless to do what I want to. Every time I realize this I feel like a little kid all over again. I feel like the same little kid who couldn't stand up for himself. I feel scared that no one knows or supports me. I'm scared that once I take off this mask no one will accept me." Kai said as his eyes glowed slightly blue.

Inside them he was at war with himself over who he really was. Was he the little boy who let himself be pushed around because he didn't have the strength to stand up for himself? Or was he the man who could go toe to toe with Blackbeard, a future warlord and yonko without an ounce of fear?

Robin didn't say anything as she just listened to Kai's thoughts. Kai sighed as his eyes dimmed letting the light in them die down. As his eyes portrayed those of a little boy who couldn't stand up for himself. He seemed to have lost the battle against his own trauma causing his eyes to go back to normal.

Eventually Robin spoke up. "You saved me. You were the first person there for me since my Mom died on Ohara. You saved me before in many ways. Not just by stopping Crocodile's attack but by saving my heart from what it once was, cold and closed off. I had no reason to keep living on until I met you. You gave me that reason."

Kai didn't say anything but grabbed onto Robin's hand with his own. Not letting it go. He rested his own head on hers that was on his shoulder. "No problem Robin, and thanks."

Robin nodded with a genuine smile on her face. "No, thank you."

The two stared off into the distance for a while later, cuddled together for warmth until they eventually went to bed.