Ch37

"So, you're Dennis Creevey then?" Harry asked politely, looking at Colin's younger brother. The small boy had never really forgiven him for Colin's death since – according to him – Colin wouldn't have snuck back into Hogwarts in the first place if it hadn't been Harry's decision to have the battle. Harry wasn't entirely sure about that, but since he'd mostly ignored Colin due to sheer annoyance and he had so obviously idolized him, there was some lingering guilt there. He had already made the effort to be nicer to Colin himself but he figured it wouldn't hurt to do some work with Dennis, either.

"Uh-huh," Dennis confirmed, nodding excitedly. "I fell off the boat on the way up here and Colin said the giant squid pushed me back in! Isn't that awesome?"

"That is quite a story," Harry conceded. "Of course, my own boat ride was on a nice, calm night without any near-drownings and I think it would have been a much pleasanter experience, but I can't really tell people about it because they don't care. You, however, can use your story to terrify all the little first years for the next six years."

Dennis' eyes widened in anticipation. "Awesome!"

"This is Harry Potter, Dennis," Colin introduced reverently. "He's probably insane, but really cool. If you ever get really bored, go find him and something exciting is sure to follow."

It was, Harry reflected as he moved back to his own seat, better than being sought out because of his evil facial disfigurement.

"I do hope this year's batch of Gryffindors are up to scratch," Nearly Headless Nick remarked idly. "We don't want to break our winning streak, do we?" He paused. "Of course, that's not bloody likely with Harry here, but it wouldn't do to get overconfident, would it?"

"I just want you to know that I really hate you right now," Harry glared at the insensitive ghost, who looked remarkably unconcerned. If looks could petrify, though…

The opening feast was, of course, fantastic and Harry was fully engrossed in it when he heard Hermione horror-struck screech. Alarmed, Harry's head shot up in time to hear her say, "There are house-elves here? Here at Hogwarts?"

"Certainly," Nick said, looking surprised at her reaction. "The largest number in any dwelling in Britain, I believe. Over a hundred."

"I've never seen one!" said Hermione.

"Well, they hardly ever leave the kitchen by day, do they?" said Nearly Headless Nick."They come out at night to do a bit of cleaning ... see to the fires and so on ... I mean, you're not supposed to see them, are you? That's the mark of a good house-elf, isn't it, that you don't know it's there?"

Hermione stared at him. "But they get paid?" she said. "They get holidays, don't they? And - and sick leave, and pensions and everything?"

Neville was beginning to look a little pale. "Careful Hermione. What you're talking about sounds suspiciously like a union."

Hermione looked a little confused as to why that was a bad thing before she remembered the poor boy's Boggart. "Oh, sorry," she said apologetically. "But don't they get some kind of compensation for their work?"

"They get more work and accommodations," Ginny replied. "And they really don't want anything else."

"Dobby does," Hermione insisted.

"And Dobby gets paid," Ron pointed out.

Hermione looked down at her mostly untouched plate of food, then pushed it away from her in disgust. "I will not be a part of this slave labor," she announced.

"You know, you really didn't seem to have a problem with the Weasley's House Elf when you stayed with them over the summer," Harry pointed out. "Or did you import all your meals?"

Hermione flushed. "That's different."

"How?" Ron asked.

"I know that your mother treats Slinky kindly and she's always so happy," Hermione replied.

Knowing it would only make an annoying situation worse, Harry wisely resisted the urge to point out that Slinky's happiness could very well just be a sign of a thorough indoctrination and Slinky didn't know any better. Instead he asked, "You really think Mrs. Weasley treats House Elves better than Professor Dumbledore? Seriously, he hired Dobby for real wages and he was willing to pay quite a bit more than Dobby was willing to accept, so he had to talk him down. If the other Elves wanted it, they could get the same deal."

Hermione sniffed. "Just because none of you care about social justice-"

"We talked about this, remember?" Harry interrupted. "Baby steps. Going on a hunger strike won't make the House Elves want freedom any quicker and pushing for immediate emancipation would just freak them out. Instead, you should try studying the laws and policies regarding them and work towards outlawing House Elf corporal punishment," he suggested.

"Fine," Hermione snapped, realizing that Harry had a good point and reluctantly picking her fork back up. "But for the record, I am NOT happy about this."

Soon, Dumbledore stood up and Harry automatically tuned out the list of rules and tedious announcements.

"It is also my painful duty to inform you that the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year," Dumbledore was saying when Harry finally tuned back in.

"What?" Harry burst out loudly. As everyone turned to stare at him, he figured he might as well go for broke. "But my scar said that the Quidditch Pitch shouldn't be occupied until around March or so! Surely the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students coming in for the Triwizard Tournament aren't demanding we cancel our ONE sport. I mean, for God sakes Krum is a professional Quidditch player!"

There was a shocked silence, then an outbreak of whispers.

Neville groaned. "Harry Potter: Thunder Stealer."

Harry snorted. "You want to talk about thunder stealers? What about him?" he pointed to the door, which immediately flung open, revealing what appeared to be Alastor Moody.

Harry quietly nudged the twins, who were sitting a few seats down from him. "Hey," he whispered. "I'm feeling mildly paranoid. Can you do me a favor and make sure that's really him?"

Fred and George exchanged looks and shrugged. Fred pulled out the Marauder's Map under the table, muttered the password, and examined it for a moment before wiping it clean again. "Yeah, that's him. Alastor Moody."

"Damn," Harry swore.

George raised his eyebrows. "That's…a bad thing?"

Harry shook his head. "It's unexpected."

"We like unexpected," Fred told him.

"Well I don't," Harry said frankly. "I prefer my chaos to be organized."

"That's such a contradiction of terms," George said, shaking his head sadly.

"He might be onto something, though," Fred mused thoughtfully.

"May I introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Moody," Dumbledore said brightly. He paused for a moment. "And yes, Hogwarts does have the pleasure of hosting the Triwizard Tournament this year. So thoughtful of Mr. Potter to inform us all…"

If it had been anyone else, Harry would have bet that the old Headmaster would have been annoyed. Seeing as it was him, however…Dumbledore honestly seemed to think he was being considerate

Typical.

"Age line?" Fred moaned. "What does he MEAN there's an age line?"

"It's for our own good, really," Angelina told him, smirking.

He glared at her. "You're only saying that because you're already seventeen."

Angelina crossed her arms unrepentantly.

"There's got to be a way to beat the age line," George insisted. "We've just got to find it."

"I know how to get past it," Harry spoke up. "And I plan on entering." After all, he reasoned, there was still a chance he would be entered since the Third Task was such a perfect kidnapping opportunity (he didn't think he'd changed anything as far as the Tournament itself was concerned and the Third Task was traditionally a maze of some sort anyway) so he might as well do it willingly. And since an Aging Potion wouldn't fool the Age Line as it could tell how old you really were, it should be able to tell he was in his twenties and let him by no problem. Obviously they hadn't thought to do anything to stop people of age from entering people who weren't, but then he supposed that since most people who could enter would, they wouldn't want to lessen their chances by adding more applicants. Now he only had a month to figure out how to trick the Goblet into believing there was a fourth – or fifth, depending on whether one of Voldemort's followers still struck – school. Wouldn't that piss everyone off, though, having three Hogwarts champions versus one Beauxbatons and one Durmstrang contestant. He vaguely hoped it wouldn't start an international incident. If it did…oh well. Better that than a Voldemort incident.

"You do?" Fred asked, a little skeptical.

"How?" George demanded.

Harry smirked. "Now, now. That would be telling. For five Galleons I'll be willing to enter anyone who wants me to. Spread the word."

----

Harry always welcomed the chance to hone his BS abilities and so was quite looking forward to his first Divination class. Hermione had dropped at the end of last year, of course, but since she was still taking Muggle Studies, the two of them were still using a Time Turner to get to their one class more than everyone else was taking.

"Good day," Professor Trelawney greeted them ethereally. She turned to Harry, who was her favorite pupil. Well, she probably would have liked Luna, but the Ravenclaw had opted against taking Divination as she felt that the class would be too structured for such a mysterious phenomena as the Inner Eye. "You are preoccupied, my dear," she said mournfully. "My Inner Eye sees past your brave face to the troubled soul within. And I regret to say that your worries are not baseless. I see difficult times ahead for you, alas ... most difficult ... I fear the thing you dread will indeed come to pass ... and perhaps sooner than you think ..."

"I know," Harry agreed sadly. "I just heard that Ludo Bagman is going to be a judge in the Triwizard Tournament and he's bet the goblins that I'll win."

"You aren't even entered," pointed out Neville.

"Bagman got a great deal," Harry shrugged.

"So…about that whole 'you'll enter anyone' thing…can you get me in the Tournament?" Ron asked hopefully.

"I can get you into the running," Harry confirmed. "As long as Hermione doesn't find out, because I don't want to have to deal with her complaining that I'm 'cheating' or some other such nonsense until afterwards." He shuddered. "She might even…tell on me."

"Uncool," Ron agreed. "So I'll get you the five galleons by next month and don't even THINK about trying to give me a 'best friends discount' because I already owe you enough."

"Alight," Harry agreed. "Neville?"

The other boy snorted. "Please. Why would I want to go up against the finest Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang has to offer?"

"Because you're stupid?" Harry suggested.

Neville glared at him.

"Oh, I didn't mean you, per se," Harry backtracked hurriedly. "I just meant, that's why everyone who's not a sixth year who just barely missed the cut off like the twins wants to enter. They just want the prize money, and maybe the fame. They're not thinking about the competing against the best of the best and the chance they could die."

"Am I right in saying, my dear, that you were born in mid-winter?" Trelawney's voice cut through their conversation.

"Well…" Harry trailed off. "I, personally, was born in July. My scar, however, was born on December 31st."

"I thought your scar was born on Halloween," Lavender said, puzzled.

"Oh, no," Harry corrected. "That's just when I got it."

"And that' not when it was born?" Dean raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"No, it was born on New Year's Eve," Harry repeated, annoyed. "Don't you people listen?"

"We do," Parvati assured him. "You just make no sense."

"What's not to get?" Harry demanded. "My scar was born on New Year's Eve and I got it on Halloween. Seems simple enough."

"You know what?" Seamus asked. "Never mind. This will not be worth it, I can tell."

"Spoilsport," Harry muttered bitterly.

----

"I can't believe we have so much homework," Ron complained. "Just because Trelawney can't take a joke…"

"You told Lavender you wanted to see her anus," pointed out Neville. "What did you expect?"

Hermione, who had been shoveling food into her mouth as quickly as possible, looked up sharply. "He said WHAT?"

"Oh, don't you start," Ron said irritably. "She already hexed me for it."

"It's no less than you deserve," Harry told him frankly. "You know, in the Muggle World that would be considered sexual harassment and you could get into all sorts of legal trouble."

"It was a JOKE!" Ron cried.

"It was a stupid one," Neville said bluntly. "And Ginny heard about it from Parvati, so she's out for your blood as well."

"Oh dear God…" Ron groaned, burying his head in his arms.

"I've got to run," Hermione said, standing up. "I'm going to the library."

"I thought you didn't have any homework," Neville said, surprised.

"I don't. This is for…something else," Hermione said evasively, heading towards the exit.

"Hermione, I should probably warn you that I trademarked SPEW over the summer," Harry called after her.

She stopped, looking a little disappointed. "You did? Why?"

"I started a Grammar Nazi organization. Stop People Abusing Words," Harry explained.

"That would be SPAW, now SPEW," Hermione pointed out.

"I spelled 'Abusing' with an E," Harry grinned. "It seemed ironic."

"And…this went over well with the Grammar Nazis?" Hermione couldn't believe it.

Harry shrugged. "It has the Harry Potter name attached to it; why wouldn't it?"

Hermione just shook her head and stormed off.

No sooner had she left than Fred, George, and Lee Jordan descended upon them.

"Moody! How cool is he?" Fred asked.

"And still Moody, we checked," George added.

"We had him this afternoon," Lee told Harry, Ron, and Neville.

"What was he like?" Harry asked, honestly curious. He'd never had Moody as a teacher, after all, but Crouch was pretty good and he wanted to know how similar the two teaching styles were.

The three older boys exchanged a look full of meaning.

"Never had a lesson like it," said Fred mysteriously.

"He KNOWs, man," said Lee.

"He knows what it's like to be out there doing it," George said, his voice awe-filled.

"He's see it all," said Fred.

"Amazing," Lee concluded.

"So…he started a cult, then?" Harry asked innocently.