15

Last year, I had a nice trip with Sweet and Hera. We went to Japan. Destination; Hokkaido. It was spring, so it was still cold. We had fun at the beach, even though we had to wear multiple layers of clothes.

Then, we visited the Sunpiazza Aquarium. At first, we were planning to do some shopping. But, Sweet noticed the aquarium was just nearby. So, Sweet being Sweet, managed to persuade me and Hera to visit the aquarium. About 200 species had been kept in the aquarium, with approximately 10,000 living creatures in total.

Since we came on normal days, we had no chance to feed the creatures. But, seeing sighting was enough for us. The aquarium has two floors. My legs are almost cramped!

"I'm thinking about something, unnie," says Sweet. We were standing in front of the fish tank at the first level.

"What is it?" I replied.

"How do they feel right now? They were caged in this huge ass aquarium, being displayed to visitors every day. It sounds... Lonely..." Again, Sweet being too sweet to be true!

"I think this is better than roaming in the open sea, end up hunted by predators like us. Human!" Hera sighed. Sweet touches the glass, eyes look gleamed.

"Must've been hard for them..."

I remember chuckling a bit when I heard that from Sweet. It sounded amusing to me back then.

But now, I think I can understand what she meant by that.

Because I'm nothing more than the fish in the aquarium myself!

Every morning, I'll wake up as usual. But instead of dragging my feet straight to the bathroom, I take a lot of time lying like a dead body on the bed. I lost my motivation, knowing that no matter how wide awake I was that day, things would circulate just like yesterday.

A kitchen helper and a maid will knock on the door to serve breakfast. Sometimes, I'll skip, because I don't feel like eating at all. Then, I'll drag my body up, volunteering or not, I have to start my day or the staff will bugging me around. Once, they called a doctor because I was too stoic. They thought I was trying to kill myself.

To be honest, I don't have to. My soul has been dying for ages now.

Lucky for me, I managed to gain my freedom; even though only for about 30% rate compared to the first 48 hours. That only happened after a heated argument between me and Khittan. I don't know how many curses in multiple languages I spit on him that day.

"We might end up killing each other, so please don't make me do it," that's what I told him.

So, Khittan is finally being a bit generous. He allowed me to roam around the house with a condition. I shouldn't go more than the radius given by him. This means I can't go outside but still I can visit the library, mini gym, kitchen, living hall, and indoor swimming pool. At least I can walk around. But still, two bodyguards will follow me everywhere I go.

Even that too caused a heated argument as I requested a female bodyguard instead of a male. I mean, hello! I might visit the swimming pool and you expect that I will allow a man to see me in a bathing suit? Hell no!

So I got a man and a woman as my bodyguards. If you expect me to be close to them, well that won't happen. I don't know where Khittan met these two but now I feel like I'm definitely in prison. These two Hawkeyes follow me so close, that I feel like somehow they attach to me like Siamese twins.

Seriously, I wanna die.

The only time that I feel real freedom is at night when I can have video chats with Hera, Sweet, and Jun. I talk mostly with Jun; through video calls and voice calls. He is a place where I pour all my emotion, like my escape pod. Even though he's busy, he will make room for us to talk.

At first, it wasn't easy. I need to ask Hera and Sweet for help. We arrange a certain time to talk. Sometimes, Jun can't go online at that time because of his practices. Yet, he always managed to snatch even for like 15 minutes just for a simple call.

"You should rest. You look tired," I look at Jun on the screen, feeling hopeless. He shakes his head in tiny while flashing me a fainted smile.

"Looking at you melts my tiredness, noona..." my eyes glassy.

"You know, it wasn't that bad... Being away like this," he puts his chin on a whale plushy. He lays comfortably on his bed.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because the feeling of longing draws us even closer," he smiles again.

"True indeed," I sheepishly giggle.

"Noona, I think by now you might have good news for me, right?" I know he indirectly mentioned the proposal.

"How's the comeback preparation?" I purposely drift away from the question.

"Don't change the topic, noona..."

We are both silent.

"My feeling is firm. I won't back off. Right now, it's even stronger than before. Especially, without you by my side. I don't wanna force you to love me. But, I just wanna know..." he pauses a bit before he continues. "Don't you at least have feeling over me, even a slight tiny?" he asks.

I stare at the screen, watching him waiting for me full of hope. I don't know. The more I spend my time with Jun, the more I feel closer to him. Unlike before. He is always the one who expresses his emotion. I'm the one who always pushes him away.

Nevertheless, I think I'm the one who chasing him now!

"I feel empty without you," I say. I couldn't find words to convey my feelings now. I kind of like losing it!

"Noona..."

"I think by now my feeling has changed. I guess I'm in love with you," I stare at Jun, looking hopelessly at him. I can see that his face gets lit. He smiles and blushes at the same time as well. But he tries his best to act cool.

"So... Would you like to be my girlfriend?" he instantly asks.

"About that... I think we should take things slowly. Right now, the most important thing is your comeback. After that, we'll figure things out," I coax him. I know we love each other, but I do believe that it's not the right time to have a relationship. I want Jun to focus on his career and don't stray away. Love is a powerful feeling that can change the current.

"I understand noona. It's okay. Besides, it's not too long before the comeback promotion ends. In the meantime, we can get to know each other more. I would love that," I nod. The best thing about Jun is he is always mature while making a decision. Even though he's younger, he is always being considered.

"Thank you, Jun,"

"No need to thank me. It's for our future as well. Haish!" he suddenly sighs. "I wish we could meet each other! Do you remember the kindergarten park that we used to visit?" he asks.

"Yeah! We had orange ice cream and play swings... I miss those days!" I drop my head on the table.

"Noona... I miss you," there's a vibration in Jun's voice. He is indeed longing for good ol' times. I watch him slowly drifting into his emotions.

"Noona," he calls me.

"Hm?" I give him a short reply.

"Next week, I need to go to Japan for a tour. I hope that we can meet before that," his voice is getting lower. I feel sad all of a sudden.

That means, no more video calls after this!

"You know what, why don't we meet each other before you leave?" I suddenly eagerly wanna meet Jun. He's in shock, almost jumping down from the bed.

"How? When? Where?"

"I'll figure a way to sneak out from this house. We meet at the park, exactly at midnight. We'll set the date later. Agree?" I ask.

"Agree!"

"So, it's a deal?"

"Yes, it's a deal!"