Fractals

Garen always have the same dream forever where he acted feral... Extremely feral beyond his own self recognition. The entire school was basked in blood bath. Every still body that surrounds him were knocked cold on the bloody floor.

Garen's instinct was always wanting to kill his younger self, desiring desperately to prevent those words that he told Liliane in the past to be sounded in this dream world yet, the dream realm mockingly prevents him from doing so.

Garen watched his young self, facing young Liliane who was trying to convince him out of such berserk.

"Garen... You're not this. STOP THIS." Liliane was trembling and crying as she begs the boy.

"NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO." Garen's eyes were glowing madly-gold and canine teeth was small but, quite sharp and noticeable. He growled like a feral beast and he stood so tall.

"GAREN PLEASE, PLEASE... Please... You've gone too far! Please... This is not you!" Liliane sobs.

In spite of her trembling entirety, Liliane approaches the boy, reaching out her trembling hand, the tips of her finger flinches.

"WHO ARE YOU TO ORDER ME" Garen shouted as he slaps her hands away, scratching her palm with his now-grown-long and sharp nails.

"Garen... You are my friend... My first friend... You are someone special to me... I care for you!" Liliane's voice was weakened and her words were extremely broken as if a dagger would stab through her heart every time she speaks.

Liliane's wound was deep and it was bleeding so hard. Liliane have grown accustomed to physical pain that it wouldn't hurt her much but, words are even more painful to the heart. She clenched her wound as if she was holding on herself desperately.

"You have always... Been by my side... Of course, I don' want to see you like this! I won't let you be like this!..." Liliane uttered with her weak voice but, Garen was a beast with monstrous hearing.

"You think you're so good? Hypocrite, Just like the omega you are. GET LOST." Garen says and that was the time he witnessed life leaving from the eyes of the girl.

"An annoying hypocrite, you've always been too proud but, you're just an omega. An omega who is bound to the will and whims of Alpha."

Garen didn't have any idea of the weight of those words he once let go, until he saw himself reflected in her darkened eyes. Garen's vision turned blurry at that moment until...

"Are you proud yet?..." Young Liliane asks as she holds on to her severed neck.

Her hair tied in a pony tail was flowing to the floor, it was beautiful but It was also upsetting, painful, heartbraking to see the state of the girl. Garen desperately wanted to embrace her and beg for forgiveness for all eternity.

"How can you hurt me like this?"

"It hurts... It's so painful... I want to die but, why won't you let me?"

"You killed me once then, more and more... Will it never be enough for you?"

"Are you still proud of yourself?" Liliane asks.

Garen felt like a sinner to the core of his soul. He felt a lump was stuck on his throat and his chest was being tighten till it was squashed.

"I'm not... I'm ashamed... I don't deserve to face you." Garen was desperately whispering within his heart with pain heating up his eyes.

At first, these gore scenes would have turned Garen's stomach, upside down but now, the repetitive cycle of these kinds of dreams was simply tearing his heart like a detestable habit you've grown accustomed to and desperately want to discard but, can't easily rid off. It was the biggest mark that Liliane left on his soul after all.

Garen knelt in front of the girl, helplessly and lost of thought. He let Liliane vented and listened to her every words with his heart. It was painful and torturous but, it was the only drive away from being numb. He needed to listen and listen, engrave it endlessly to his heart and mind, and to use it as a flame that painfully burns himself to life.

It was all the same cycle until the Liliane spoke out new words and Garen was finally able to speak to her.

"Why didn't you hear my words?..." Liliane asked with her trembling lips.

(I heard it all...) Garen replied.

"Was I... Really unworthy?..."

(You were more than great... It was me who didn't deserve you...)

"Did you really not feel anything about me, at all?..."

(You have always been by my side... The only one who understood me... You were the only one who makes me so happy... You... I love me who is always with you..."

Garen's heart was pouring out his emotions with every reply he sent to the girl. He wanted to tell her of everything. How he laughs with pure joy with her presence, how he felt the most special times he had in his life were times that were shared with her, how he come to knew the deep meaning of love from her patience, care, struggles, and sacrifices for him, how much of his life was build by her, how he was a fool for being controlled by the verse, how he never meant those words he said back then...

(I was scared... When I slowly notice how I was changing... I was scared of the terrifying thoughts that rush to me those times, how I would be any other alpha that hurts their own omega, how I would eventually hurt you like a beast, how... You'll grow afraid of me... How you'll hate me..." Garen cried and he sighed, realizing that he really did turn those fears to reality.

Garen felt utterly pathetic and that was right. He turned into someone he never wanted to become.The irony of it.

Garen slowly opened his eyes to the real world, he saw Liliane, crying above him. He felt angry to himself because, all he ever did was make the wrong choices all over again, breaks the promise he made, and only cause sadness towards Liliane.

"Garen... Thank God! You're awake!" Liliane cried.

Garen heard the beeping sound of a monitor and he felt his body was heavy.

"Lili... Is that... Really you?..." Garen asked puzzled as he felt like in a state of one of his dreams.

Liliane nods with an agreeing hum that whimpered in the end.

"I see..." Garen softly whispers.

He was stuck in the dream that felt forever, making him unable to even have a guess of how much time have passed.

"Garen... I don't want you to be in pain..." Liliane says and Garen pulled her to an embrace.

"I'm... Sorry..." Garen whispered.

"Lili... I'm... Scared... Of losing out of control again... Of the thought that I might harm you..." Garen's breathing was heavy as he slowly broke into sobs.

His big body trembled like an insecure child, filled with anxiety and fear. In the end, he was just a simple young man.

"Garen... Should we just stop?..." Liliane forced a bitterly, painful smile.

Garen's breathing stopped and a painfully, obnoxious ringing sound plays in a sharp tone.

"I've long forgiven you... You don't need to feel burdened, guilty, responsible, anything about me at all..." Liliane's eyes goes red and hot that tears were overflowing from it.

"Let's stop..."