Fireworks Chaos and Fury: Caster's Stand Against the Unpredictable Foreigner

Scene break - Later, Fuyuki City

In the dimly lit room, Kiritsugu Emiya sat across from his assistant, his gaze piercing as he assessed her condition. With a weary sigh, he reached for his pack of cigarettes, the need for a smoke almost palpable in the tense atmosphere.

Kiritsugu: Recall everything, Maiya. Start from the moment you are taken.

Maiya: I remember until I lost consciousness. It's baffling why I'm still breathing.

Kiritsugu couldn't agree more. The enemy Master had shown a willingness to kill without hesitation, yet Maiya was spared. It didn't sit right with him.

Kiritsugu: Do you feel anything unusual? 

Maiya: Negative. I'm in optimal condition.

Just like the situation with Assassin, this was too good to be true. The enemy Master was planning something. He disliked unknown variables with a passion, as any strategist would.

Maiya: Still, was it always possible for there to be more than 7 Servants?

Kiritsugu: Other classes, yes. The Einzberns summoned "Avenger" in the last war. More than 7, not until now.

Maiya: How should we approach the enemy?

Kiritsugu: The Master's elimination is our priority. I doubt that even Saber could stop the Servant for long.

Maiya: Identity?

Kiritsugu: Unknown. A young magus, but clearly an experienced one. Search the Clocktower files when you have the time. For now, the mission. Set a course for the Hyatt Hotel.

Maiya: Understood.

Scene Break

Emi opened her eyes, smirking at her Servant.

Zaegar: What's up

Emi: Lancer's Master is going to be attacked soon.

Zaegar: And how'd you come by this delightful nugget of information?

Emi: Remember when I said, "It doesn't hurt to have eyes behind enemy lines"?

Zaegar: Ah, right. So, you did some sneaky mage stuff when you put that poor hostage to sleep?

Emi: You could say that. Infinite mana and instant knowledge about everything opens countless doors for a magus.

Zaegar: Damn, you really know how to keep things interesting. So, what's our play here? Sit back and watch the show. Hit up the local pub for some intel on Caster. Carpet-bombing the city? Nuking the city?

Emi: Not yet. No. Absolutely not, twice.

Zaegar: Come on, I deserve a little fun after the performance I put on. Let me handle it!

Emi held his gaze for a beat, weighing her options. Watching from afar seemed dull, but unleashing Zaegar's brand of chaos had its risks.

Boredom was a relentless enemy, though.

Emi sighed.

Emi: I'm probably going to regret this, but... What do you have in mind?

His grin widened to almost impossible levels. Perhaps she should have thought this through more carefully...

...But where's the fun in that?

Zaegar: Oh, you're going to love it. just a sprinkle of classic Zaegar madness.

Scene Break - Fuyuki Outskirts

Rider and Waver had steadily reached their abode on the Gordius Wheel, both of them silent as they were thinking over the events that had transpired at the harbor.

The King of Conquerors observed as his Master collapsed onto his bed, exhaustion etched into every line of his face. It was evident that the encounter with Lancer's Master had taken its toll, alongside the ongoing battle against the enigmatic Foreigner Servant. Rider couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for the boy.

It had been Waver's naivety that led him to compete in the Holy Grail War, but Rider had grown up with the philosophy that such mistakes made people grow and surpass their current selves, Rider himself was no exception. He preferred not to be reminded of his younger days, however.

Waver: I'm so far out of my depth! Why did I ever think stealing from Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald was a good idea? He's known for his temper, for crying out loud!

Rider nodded, acknowledging the truth in Waver's words. Recognizing one's mistakes was the first step towards growth, and Waver seemed to be slowly grasping the gravity of the situation.

Waver: I'm completely outmatched by the other Masters. What chance do I even have at winning? Maybe I should just give up...

Suddenly, Rider stepped forward and delivered a light flick to Waver's forehead, eliciting a yelp of surprise.

Waver: Ow! What was that for?

Rider: Quit wallowing in self-pity, boy! Don't underestimate yourself. Not everything about you spells disaster. You're better than you give yourself credit for!

As Waver blinked in surprise, Rider continued, his tone firm but encouraging.

Rider: Mistakes teach us valuable lessons. They show us what not to do, pushing humanity forward with each stumble. And trust me, compared to Lancer's Master, you're a shining beacon of potential.

Waver: W-What? Why?

Rider: Despite your cowardice, you chose to ride forth into battle at my side, knowing the full risk. That action alone gives but a glimpse of the courage within you!

He wasn't lying. The boy needed to man up, but Waver Velvet had the potential to be someone great. He just needed guidance. The guidance that Rider was all too willing to share, for that was the duty of a king.

Waver: O-Oh... No one complimented me like that at the Clocktower... 

Rider: Well, use this as a starting point. Now, then, we need to discuss the enemy Servants. 

Waver: Oh, right! We should be cautious with Archer and that new Servant... Foreigner, yeah! Is that even possible?!

Rider: It is now. And I agree with you. Archer's Noble Phantasm is something to be feared, and the young warrior managed to hold off Lancer and Saber at the same time. Effortlessly, I might add.

Waver: Speaking of Saber, wasn't King Arthur, well, a KING?!

Rider just shrugs

Rider: That doesn't make her any less dangerous, does it?

Waver: N-No, it doesn't...

Rider: Oh, well. You must be exhausted, so we should continue this tomorrow morning. You could use some sleep.

Waver sighs.

Waver: Yeah, I could. And, uh, Rider?

Rider: Hmm?

Waver: Thanks... You know, for cheering me up and all...

Rider grinned while dismissively waving the boy's nervousness away. Waver looked ready to sleep, but something caught his eye.

Waver: Rider?

Rider: What is it?

Waver: Doesn't Fuyuki look a little, uh... Colorful to you?

Rider blinked and then looked out of the window. He blinked once more, joining his Master in the confusion.

Then Waver's jaw dropped, while Rider began to laugh hysterically.

Scene Break

Zaegar was cackling like a madman as his Mistress appeared to be in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

Zaegar: What d'ya reckon?! Pretty slick, huh?!

Emi stared at the chaotic spectacle he'd unleashed in her absence, a mix of frustration and disbelief swirling in her eyes.

It was a fireworks display.

But not just any fireworks; these fireworks carried a bold, unmistakable message:

ARCHER CAN'T AIM FOR SHIT ~ FOREIGNER FOR THE WIN, FUCKERS

And just when you thought it couldn't get any wilder...

I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, YOU GOLDEN MONGREL ~ WANNA PIECE OF ME?

Needless to say, the whole city, including the other Masters and Servants, got a front-row seat to Zaegar's shenanigans.

Sufficient to say that Emi regretted this with all of her being.

Emi: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DUMBASS!

Zaegar: What? I told you it'd be epic!

Ophis: Well, at least he didn't resort to blowing up the city. Count your blessings.

Emi: WHAT MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!

Zaegar: Actually, yes. Yes, I have.

Emi: WHAT?!

Ophis let out a weary sigh.

Ophis: You had to ask.

Zaegar: I'm high on a drug, baby, and it's called ZAEGAR FUCKING VACíO!

He chuckled, striking a dramatic pose as he snapped his fingers. Emi realized then that the chaos was far from over.

Zaegar: Let's keep this party going!

And with that, the Fuyuki Hyatt Hotel erupted into a fiery explosion.

Scene Break - Tohsaka Manor

Tokiomi wisely distanced himself from his Servant as they watched the chaos unfolding in the city center.

His jaw dropped at the fireworks show blatantly mocking Archer.

Thankful to be in another room, he could almost feel Archer's seething anger from a distance.

Then, an orange flash illuminated the sky. A building exploded into a fiery blaze.

Another firework soared, exploding to reveal the third message:

IT'S GONNA RAIN ~ USE THEM TO KEEP YOUR HATE BONER IN CHECK LOSER

Tokiomi blinked at the peculiar message, then watched as objects rained down from the sky and onto his garden.

He did a double take, realizing what the objects were. And then they kept coming, raining endlessly.

An earthquake shook the ground, followed by a scream of outrage.

Archer was not pleased about the "rain".

He was not exactly a man of God, but he prayed to any existing, and some non-existing, deities that this mess would not expand.

Unfortunately, He didn't pray hard enough.

Scene Break

???: YOU FUCKING DID WHAT?!!??!

???: I dropped a load of dildos at Archer's place.

???: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

???: Because fuck 'em

Scene Break

Kirei Kotomine found himself unable to make sense of the chaotic scene before him, no matter how hard he tried.

His original intention was to intercept Kiritsugu Emiya's assault on Kayneth Archibald, perhaps even to engage in a tête-à-tête with the man who intrigued him the most in this war.

Instead, the Hyatt Hotel had been obliterated in a spectacle of destruction, followed shortly by that absurd fireworks display.

He couldn't help but smirk at the thought of Archer's inevitable fury. Tokiomi, his mentor, would have quite the night ahead of him.

Kirei: (In thought) Is this the Foreigner Servant's declaration of war?

Lost in contemplation, Kirei delved into the enigma of the Foreigner class. According to Assassin's knowledge, it was among the rarest classifications, if not the rarest of them all.

The Master behind the Foreigner was another puzzle to unravel. A mere girl had single-handedly dispatched ten of Assassin's facets, a feat that defied conventional understanding of magecraft.

As he watched the Hyatt Hotel engulfed in flames, Kirei couldn't help but ponder the fate of those within, including perhaps Lancer's Master.

Unbeknownst to him, a subtle smirk graced his lips.

His attention was abruptly drawn to the materialization of his Servant beside him. Swiftly composing himself, Kirei met her with his usual stoicism as she bowed.

Assassin: Master Kirei, we have located Caster.

An arched eyebrow betrayed Kirei's surprise. Truly, the night was filled with unexpected turns, he mused.

Scene Break

If Kariya Matou weren't in a state of constant agony, he would have dropped to the floor, laughing at the display.

Someone was mocking Archer and by extension Tokiomi. That was enough for Kariya to even forget Berserker going out of control earlier.

The black knight was in astral form. He couldn't have Berserker drain on his mana all the time, lest he would die prematurely.

He felt his Servant growl from their mental link. He could barely make out a word behind the growling caused by the Madness Enhancement.

Berserker: (Mental Link) AR... THUR...! 

Kariya frowned in thought. He was listening via familiar on the battle way before Berserker had been deployed, and he had heard the Servants shout their names.

Kariya: (Mental Link) It makes sense, considering who you really are... But you need to control yourself and listen to me, or we won't win the Holy Grail!

His Servant growled again. 

Berserker: (Mental Link) To hell with the Grail!

Kariya could make out that statement from their link.

Kariya: (Mental Link) No! I HAVE to win! You may not care, but there's someone who needs saving, and the only way she can be saved is by winning this damned war!

As he expected, Berserker released a rage-filled roar that thundered inside Kariya's mind. He did not, however, back down.

Kariya: (Mental Link) Whether we like it or not, we're going to rely on each other. Without you, I'm powerless. Without me, you'll disappear in an instant. We need a truce, or we'll both die for nothing in the end.

There was a brief silence before Berserker growled, this time with begrudging acceptance. 

Scene Break - Zaegar's Villa

Sleeping comfortably on the couch, Fou suddenly perked up as the lights were turned on. The one he was tasked to observe and his contractor walked in.

He looked positively radiant and satisfied. She appeared to be the complete opposite, being stressed and tired.

Fou: Fou!

Zaegar: Hey there, fluffball.

Emi: I fucking hate every single one of you.

Ophis: Welcome to the club.

Fou: Fou?

Zaegar: It was awesome. Well, of course it was, I was in it.

Emi: At this rate, there's sure to be a temporary truce to go against us!

Zaegar: Well, that's not fair. They should bring more Servants if that happens.

Fou snickered to himself as Emi threw her hands into the air. Then, in the blink of an eye, she grabbed him.

Fou: Fou?!

With a yelp, Fou found himself unceremoniously tossed off the couch, caught by Foreigner, while Emi slumped onto the cushions.

Fou: FOU! EKYAO! KYU!

Emi: Shut it, you stupid furball. I don't need your complaining right now.

Zaegar: So, did that Shirou kid make it to his mother?

Fou nods.

Fou: Fou.

He had made sure that the boy Zaegar had rescued had been delivered to his family safely. He didn't mind giving a helping hand once or twice.

Zaegar: Neat. Anyway, you should stop being so damn high-strung, Mistress.

Emi: Whose fault do you think is that?!

Zaegar: ...Yours?

Emi: GUESS AGAIN, DUMBASS!

Zaegar: Well, we killed Lancer's Master, so-

Emi: No. No, we didn't.

Zaegar: Oh, come on. It's almost as if people don't die when they are killed in this place.

Fou snorted. He'd be surprised at how many people did not die when they were killed. That was a running trend in history.

Zaegar: At least I got under that golden cheater's skin. That's a win in my book, right?

Emi: You have no idea how much I despise you right now.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Ah, your affectionate words warm my heart.

Timeskip - The Next Morning, Fuyuki Church

In the center of the dimly lit sanctuary stood an elderly man clad in priestly robes, Risei Kotomine, the current overseer of the Fourth Holy Grail War.

Risei: The Grail War faces dire circumstances. We have identified the Master of Caster as the culprit behind the recent abductions in Fuyuki.

His voice echoed in the cavernous space, a declaration meant for all ears present.

Risei: Additionally, there is the pressing matter of an eighth Servant, belonging to the Foreigner class, summoned at the eleventh hour. This flagrant disregard for a protocol not only violates the sanctity of the War but also poses a clear threat to public safety, jeopardizing the entire Heaven's Feel.

A solemn pause punctuated his words, allowing the gravity of the situation to sink in.

Risei: Therefore, exercising my emergency authority as overseer, I hereby enact a temporary amendment to the rules of the Holy Grail War. All participating Masters are to suspend ongoing hostilities and focus their efforts on neutralizing Caster and Foreigner. The Master who eliminates Caster will be rewarded with an additional Command Seal.

With a deliberate gesture, he rolled up his left sleeve, revealing a network of Command Seals tattooed upon his arm.

Risei: These are unused Seals from fallen Masters of past Wars, a resource of great value at your disposal.

Yet, it was evident that the Foreigner posed a greater threat than Caster, rivaling even Archer. Hence, an additional incentive was deemed necessary.

Risei: Furthermore, the Master who vanquishes Foreigner shall receive triple the reward, earning a complete set of three Command Seals for their achievement.

A total of four Command Seals would be granted to any Master capable of dispatching both Caster and Foreigner, a prize too tempting to ignore.

Risei: Once the annihilation of both Servants is confirmed, the Grail War will resume as scheduled. Should anyone have inquiries, I invite you to voice them now, provided you possess the ability to articulate in the human tongue.

Silence ensued, broken only by the soft shuffle of six familiars, signaling that every Master present had received the message loud and clear.

Scene Break

Emi: SMOOTH SAILING, WAS IT?!

Zaegar: Hey now, calm down—

Emi: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! 3 COMMAND SEALS FOR US! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS?!

Zaegar: Yeah, it means we're getting ahead of the game—

Emi: And right into the crosshairs of every other Master!

Zaegar: So what? We'll take 'em on, like always.

Emi: You make it sound so simple!

Zaegar: 'Cause it is. I'm Zaegar, remember?

Emi: Ugh, stop with the "Zaegar" nonsense!

Zaegar grinned, his hollow mask adding an eerie touch.

Zaegar: Trust me, you'll be thanking "Zaegar" when we win this thing.

Emi: I'll believe it when I see it.

Emi sighed tiredly, and it wasn't even late. Her Servant was indeed full of surprises, good and bad. 

She would be lying if she said she wasn't looking forward to another display of his prowess. She liked being surprised, as exhausting as dealing with him was.

Ophis: Child kidnappings... Hey, do you think the guy you punched was Caster's Master?

Emi: What?

Fou: Fou... Fou!

Zaegar: Hmm. Yeah, that doesn't seem like a far cry... Wait a minute, MISTRESS!

Emi: What?! What is it?!

Zaegar: If that's true, then I FOUND CASTER IN THE PUB! I WAS RIGHT!

Ophis: You found CASTER'S MASTER NEAR the pub.

Zaegar: SAME SHIT! I WAS RIGHT! BOO-FUCKING-YAH! 

Emi briefly lost the will to speak at the moment. The sheer stupidity of the situation she had been presented with had rendered her speechless.

When she found her words, she was about to scream in outrage when he raised a hand to halt her incoming rant.

Zaegar: Okay, but real talk, we gotta track down Caster and kill him ASAP.

Emi: Huh? 

Zaegar: Don't look at me like that, even I the chaotic one has standards. some psycho-targeting kids? We gotta kill that fucker. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Emi: I wasn't planning on objecting.

She meant it. Just because Emi Enishi was a powerhouse magus cursed with boredom-induced insanity didn't mean she'd turn a blind eye to such atrocities.

(Flashback)

???: Kosuke?

???: Big Sister... You can do anything... I wish I was like you...

???: Kosuke, I'm here! Tell me what happened?!

???: Father says that I'm worthless when I'm next to you... Mother says that I should give up on trying to be what I'll never be...

???: Kosuke, answer me!

???: Do I... Do I even need to exist?... You can do anything, so... Why do I exist?

???: KOSUKE!

(Flashback End) 

Emi: (In thought) Never again... Kosuke...

Zaegar: You zoned out there for a second. Everything alright?

Emi: Yeah, just plotting how to off Caster.

He shot her a knowing look. She recognized it; it was the look of someone seeing through another's facade.

After a shrug, he let it slide. Emi appreciated the respect for her privacy, ironic since she was dying to know more about him, yet he remained a mystery.

Zaegar: Ready to roll?

Emi: ...Foreigner?

Zaegar: What, Bitch?

Emi glared, then sighed.

Emi: After we deal with Caster, could we, um... get to know each other?

Zaegar: Sure.

Just like that, easy as pie. Maybe she should've just asked sooner.

Her Servant was a maddening idiot. A maddening idiot she'd grown fond of.

And she was perfectly okay with that.

Scene Break - Misaki Town, Japan

She regarded the man with a curious, yet knowing look. He returned the stare with awkwardness.

???: Well, this is a surprise. You've noticed, then?

???: I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

???: What's the next step, then?

???: Fuyuki City. The source of all of this is resting there, and he needs to know... even if he probably won't listen.

???: You know of "him"?

???: Yes, and trust me, you are not going to like what we have on the table.

???: Kischur, Gaia screamed at other planets to exterminate life, I don't like any of this as it is.

???: A fair point. We should get going. Unless you want to lose more time, Arcueid?

???: I know, I know. No need to be so grumpy about it, though.

Scene Break - Nighttime, Einzbern Castle

Night had fallen, signaling a new battle in the Holy Grail War. Saber stood at the side of a conference room as her Master and her ward discussed strategies.

Kiritsugu: There are currently three spots in Fuyuki where the leylines converge. The Tohsaka Manor, the Fuyuki Chapel, and the new residential area east of the city center. These three spots, without Mount Enzo, have all the characteristics for the Grail to appear.

Saber glanced at Irisviel with a mixture of sadness and pity. The sweet and optimistic woman did not deserve her cruel fate. She understood that this was what she, a homunculus, was created for, but she did not approve of it.

Nonetheless, she pressed on. There was nothing she could do but that.

Kiritsugu: That covers the lay of the land. Any questions?

Irisviel: Can we assume that the others will go after Caster or Foreigner?

Kiritsugu: A full set of Command Seals was offered for the latter, it's a safe bet. Then again, with Foreigner being so powerful, and his Master being completely under the radar, they won't find them that easily. However, in regards to Caster, we have an advantage.

Saber frowned. She and Irisviel happened to cross paths with Caster the previous night. It was an experience she would rather not repeat.

Kiritsugu: He believes Saber to be Jeanne d'Arc, which is to our benefit. We simply need to wait for him to come to us.

Saber: Master, that is not enough. His evil deeds must be punished. We have to take the fight to him before he does any more damage.

Kiritsugu: ...Iri, do you have a handle on this forest's Bounded Fields?

Irisviel: Yes, but the real problem lies in Saber's curse. It has been 18 hours since... yesterday's incident. Saber's wound hasn't healed, meaning that Lancer still lives.

Saber did not blame the uneasiness of her tone. She herself was confused and very angered with yesterday's events. Her Master desired to dispose of a Master by collapsing an entire building on him, using his dishonorable yet effective methods. To his credit, Kiritsugu would have evacuated the hotel beforehand, but that did not happen.

Instead, the hotel had exploded into a ball of raging flames, killing dozens of innocent lives. It happened in the madness caused by a ridiculous act caused by the Foreigner wanting to antagonize Archer.

All of that and the objective hadn't even been completed. Innocents slaughtered for nothing. Kiritsugu seemed completely nonplussed by this, which fueled her displeasure.

Kiritsugu: Chasing after Lancer won't be necessary. Use your knowledge of the land to confuse, the enemy, keeping Saber away from him.

Saber suppressed a snarl from appearing on her face. Her Master wouldn't have her fight against such an abominable monster?!

Irisviel: You won't have her fight Caster?

Kiritsugu: Someone else will deal with him even if we don't. The ones hunting Caster and Foreigner will make for better targets. I'll attack from their flanks and take them out.

Saber: Master... To what depths do you intend to sink?! You insult all Heroic Spirits! Why do you not allow me to fight? Do you not trust me, your own Servant?!

Kiritsugu: You cannot fight at your full power, and Caster's abilities are unknown. It would be moronic to take the fight to Caster as it is.

Saber: Yet knowing what atrocities he and his Master have committed, you fully intend on staying your hand until they come to us?!

Kiritsugu: I-

Irisviel: Kiritsugu. 

Before the Magus Killer could answer, Irisviel perked up with a surprised glance before it turned very serious.

Kiritsugu: An enemy attack?

Irisviel: Most likely. The Bounded Field has been penetrated.

Kiritsugu: I see. Use the remote-viewing crystal ball. Maiya, we'll mount an all-out defense.

His assistant, who was standing beside him and had been silent until now, nodded her head dutifully. Irisviel quickly found a crystal ball to evaluate the perimeter inside of the Bounded Field.

She concentrated until she found the breach. Everyone was alerted by her gasp.

Irisviel: That's...

Everyone looked at the crystal ball. What they saw wasn't Caster.

They saw a little girl in a dress accompanied by an old man with a hollow mask.

Zaegar: Hey, jackasses, answer the damn door or I'll blow it to hell!

Kiritsugu's jaw clenched, his expression hardening as he exchanged a glance with Saber.

Kiritsugu: Prepare for an assault.

Zaegar: Y'know what? Fuck it. DIE, YOU!

Before they could react, a deafening explosion rocked the gates, sending shrapnel flying and dust billowing into the air.

Saber did not waste any time and exited the room.

Scene Break

Emi: ...Why, though?

Zaegar: It pissed me off, being all door-like.

Emi: ...You can't destroy a door just because it's "door-like"! That makes no sense!

Ophis: You'd be surprised at the excuses he can make up to destroy things when he wants.

Fou: Fou!

Zaegar: Sense is overrated. Fucking hell! OI, WHOEVER RUNS THIS CASTLE NEEDS TO DO SOME FUCKIN' DUSTING!

Emi rolled her eyes as she took in her surroundings. The castle was very well built and fit for someone of royalty.

Then she coughed. The place did need urgent dusting.

Zaegar: Oh, looky here, a tripwire! I wonder what it does...

Emi: Foreigner, just don't.

Zaegar: But we don't know if it'll give us a nice surprise! Like, I dunno, the Grail?

Emi: ...

Fou: ...

Yhwach: ...

Ophis: ...Yeah, as someone who deals with him every damn day, I'll say this: Welcome to hell.

Zaegar: Triggering it anyway!

With childlike curiosity, he purposefully tripped himself with the wire. 

Plot Twist: It did, indeed, give them the Holy Grail.

Double Plot Twist: It gave them multiple Holy Grails.

Triple Plot Twist: It actually wasn't the Holy Grail, it was just bullets.

Emi simply commanded her tentacles to shield her. Meanwhile, Zaegar kept smirking as the bullets ricocheted off his body. Fou narrowly ducked under one with a nervous look.

Emi: Are you happy now?

Zaegar: Kinda. By the way, does this castle look kinda BrI'ish to you?

Emi: It's German.

Zaegar: Sorta like that Nazi Jesus we know and love.

Emi: Nazi what?

Zaegar: I'll think of telling you later anyway. Oh, sup, Saber!

The swordswoman herself appeared before them with her invisible sword in hand. She regarded them with a cautious look.

Saber: Foreigner. 

Zaegar: Quick question, do you think this castle is British enough to be considered British? If not, do you know any British people that could judge it for me?

Saber looked like she was being asked if people died when they were killed. Emi looked like she wanted to pound her face against the wall multiple times.

Ophis: (sarcastically) Yeah, let's ask KING ARTHUR if she's British, I'm sure that'll come out fine. 

Zaegar: Oh, right. Then answer my previous question-

Saber: Enough nonsense! Why are you here?

Zaegar: Well-

Emi: NO!, shut up! We agreed that I was going to do the talking!

Zaegar: (sarcastically) I have to listen to your voice? What sort of punishment is this?!

Emi: Yes, now be quiet! Ahem. Forgive my Servant, Saber. He's, as you can see, a dumbass.

Saber was slightly disturbed as to how she could shift from a tone full of emotion of someone befitting her age to a completely mechanical and hollow tone.

Emi: Now, before you assume anything, we are not here for battle. We were wondering if we should, let's say, strike an alliance.

Now Saber was caught off-guard, this being the last thing she expected of this sudden invasion.

Emi: We're aware that you plan to go after either Caster or Foreigner here. Fortunately, I see that it was the former. How about we discuss this with your Master?

Saber: ...Why?

Emi: Hmm. The hard way it will be, then. Foreigner, search the area. Bring them here.

Zaegar shrugged and simply used Sonīdo, surprising Saber. A few moments passed before he returned to the same place he was standing but with something in his hands.

Zaegar: Yeah, I wasn't sure who was her Master, so I grabbed the three of 'em.

Saber: Irisviel! Kiritsugu!

Emi: Now, now, we're not so heartless like that. Give them to her, would you?

Another gust of wind. Saber looked to the side and saw her Master, his assistant, and her ward catching their breath while holding their throats.

She clenched her sword tightly. The level of speed that the Servant had just employed was almost ridiculous, even by Servant standards.

She placed herself in front of Irisviel, who was admittedly the least capable out of them all. Kiritsugu slowly stood up with an unreadable frown on his face, looking at them from Saber's side.

Emi: Hello again, Mr. Emiya. I know that you heard the conversation already, but I'd like this meeting to be personal this time. So, do you agree? 

Kiritsugu: ...

Emi: Maybe I wasn't clear enough. You did see that Foreigner here could have just killed all of you before you could even realize it, right? The only thing stopping me from allowing him to do so is-

Zaegar: Yeah no, I'm not doing that again. I did enough exercise for about a millennium. Fuck that shit.

Emi: Not now.

Zaegar: Oi, I'm saving you from looking like an idiot when you tell me to say it and I refuse. Just a heads up.

Emi: You're already making me look like an idiot!

Zaegar: "Look" like an idiot? Bitch, you ARE an idiot.

Emi: FOREIGNER! SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!

Zaegar: Let's just skip over your creepy shit, Mistress. Oi, you... stubble man, we'll team up to kill Caster. Don't agree and we kill all of you and THEN Caster. Either way, we win. 

He crossed his arms, ignoring his Mistress' huff of annoyance. Kiritsugu stared for what felt like hours before he reached inside of his coat.

Instead of pulling a gun, he pulled out a lighter with a cigarette. He exhaled smoke and regarded them with an even look.

Kiritsugu: Let's talk.

Timeskip - Ten Minutes Later, Conference Room

Not accepting the alliance would have been monumentally foolish. The Magus Killer did not condone foolishness in his life.

He held no delusion either. He knew that everyone present was at the mercy of the little girl and the eighth Servant.

The Foreigner alone could have killed everyone in the castle with a burst of monstrous speed, one that even Saber did not notice until it was too late. He saw no weaknesses, and if Saber was correct, then knowing his true name would be irrelevant since he was from another world.

He vaguely wondered what Foreigner's world was like. Was it just like this one, or radically different? 

The Master had finally introduced herself as simply Emi. If he had time, he would have searched the Clocktower's files for a match. 

Something about her was very wrong. He could even dare say that she was much more dangerous than Kirei Kotomine, the only man he dreaded to face.

But this alliance would perhaps be the key to finding out exactly how to overcome this obstacle.

Irisviel, Maiya, Saber, and himself were at one side of a large dining table. Their "guests" were casually sitting at the other side as if there wasn't any danger whatsoever. He would have preferred to simply listen from afar, but Emi would not allow that.

There was also a strange squirrel-like creature perched on Foreigner's shoulder, most likely a familiar. It was eyeing Saber with an unreadable look.

Emi: Let's get straight to the point, yes? Caster is bound to enter this territory any second now. What was his true name, again?

Irisviel: He introduced himself as Gilles de Rais.

Emi: Ah. That's why he's so obsessed with Jeanne d'Arc, who resembles Saber. But we'll have to widen our scope for this situation. Isn't that right, Mr. Emiya?

He nodded wordlessly. Of course, he knew that there was the possibility of other Masters and Servants to intercept this operation.

Emi: Lancer and his Master are probably plotting to attack this place, due to the... incident at the hotel.

Irisviel: Did you... Actually, do that?

Zaegar: Yep. Nice trick, huh? 

He saw Saber clenching her fist, no doubt in anger due to the innocent lives lost at the explosion. 

Emi: There's also the looming possibility of interception along our escape route. We must plan accordingly.

Emi's feigned innocence grated on Kiritsugu's nerves, her emotionless façade thinly veiling her true intentions.

Emi: Ah, I have an idea. Allow me to propose our next course of action.

She relayed her plan for everyone to hear. Kiritsugu could not deny that this was likely the best strategy.

It was a matter of time before their alliance was over. The question was: To what extent were each side willing to go to ensure victory?

Steel the mind, and kill the heart.

Scene Break - Later, Forest

Caster: My beautiful Holy Virgin, Jeanne! As promised last night, I, Gille De Rais, have come for you!

The rather oily tone of voice came from a man garbed in a sort of circus/magician's garb. The most disturbing fact, and there were A LOT of those present, were his eyes, which looked ready to pop out of their sockets at Mach speed.

Caster: You may take your time if you wish. I have come prepared for a lengthy wait!

He snapped his finger. The various hypnotized children surrounding him suddenly came to their senses.

Caster: Now, children, it's time to play hide-and-seek. The rules are simple. You only need to elude me. But if I find you...

He grasped a child's head. It was so small that he could grab it with his entire palm. The child started to scream as his head was being ruthlessly crushed.

At another time, it would have happened. This time, it did not.

Caster suddenly released the child, who was thankfully still alive, to avoid an incoming black missile that roared through the space between them.

Caster: What is this? Oh, Holy Virgin, have you decided to grace me with your presence as soon as possible?!

Zaegar: Holy? That title belongs to good ol' Yhwach. Virgin? Never heard of that, but if I had to guess, it'd probably go to Yhwach too. As for gracing you with my presence? Well, you should be thanking me for that, shouldn't you?

Placing himself in front of the scared children was not the Holy Virgin, but a hollow. He regarded Caster as if he was less than a parasite in his eyes.

Zaegar: So, you're Caster.

Caster: Who are you?! Why have you interfered with the destiny that God deemed unto this moment?!

Zaegar: ...You talking to me?

Caster: Who else?!

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Well, it's not like I can see anyone else around here. Unless you're addressing your invisible friends with those creepy, wide eyes of yours?

Ophis: they look like they'd go at light speed if they were to really come out of their sockets.

Zaegar: You kids, follow this cute furball on my shoulder. He'll take you to a nice castle. Right, furball?

Fou: M'kyu! Fou!

He hopped off Zaegar's shoulder and pointed his paw at the children and then at himself. He rushed off in the opposite direction. The children, due to Fou's cuteness and realizing the danger they were in, were inclined to follow.

Caster's grin sent warning signals flashing in Zaegar's mind like a cacophony of blaring alarms: the "Bad Touch" alert, the "R-Word" caution, the "Pedo" alarm, and countless others clamored for attention.

Caster: Very well! If God has deemed you worthy of witnessing this spectacle, then so be it! This performance shall illuminate the path for our Jeanne to reveal herself!

He lifted a hand, holding a peculiar book. Zaegar and Ophis observed with detached interest, anticipating something sinister. Yet, to their surprise, nothing unfolded.

Caster seemed confused. Zaegar gave a mocking snort.

Zaegar: Can't even put on a show for your beloved girl? Given your fondness for children, I'd wager that disappointing women is your Noble Phantasm.

Caster: What?! Why isn't the show of God starting?! The children are-

Zaegar: Oh, you mean that plan of yours? To present them, only to discover they were rigged with explosives or some such? I handled it.

Ophis: Not worth the effort of correcting.

Caster: What?! Impossible! The spells of my teacher, Prelati, are infallible! You are against the rules of the show-

Zaegar: Don't you see? I AM THE RULE BREAKER, AND I DECIDE WHETHER THOSE RULES APPLY OR NOT. And according to the rules, your demise is long overdue.

With a sudden burst of movement, Zaegar delivered a devastating punch straight to Caster's face. The force of the blow momentarily jolted Caster's eyes back into their sockets before he recovered.

Caster: YOU-

Zaegar: Just playing by the rules.

Without even glancing, Zaegar landed a powerful kick to Caster's midsection, propelling him several meters backward until he crashed into a tree, splintering it and several others behind.

Zaegar: Well, look at that. Tree demolition, my new hobby.

Ophis: Not the oddest pastime you've picked up. But seriously, why?

Zaegar: Beats me.

He blinked. Suddenly, there were many... atrocities, for lack of a better word, surrounding him. They were monsters created out of grotesque tentacles, and it made one wonder if they were summoned from the Lovecraftian lore.

Caster: DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, YOU SAVAGE BEAST!

Zaegar just sighed. Sometimes his sadistic tendency to hold back his punches to make the opponent's suffering last longer worked against him. He really could have avoided seeing... this.

He wondered what the others were up to. 

...Oh. Someone was watching them. Probably Assassin.

Scene Break - Other Side of The Forest

Irisviel was concerned about her guardian's unhappiness with the situation. She walked ahead of her with a hardened frown upon her features.

Irisviel: ...Saber?

Saber: Yes?

Irisviel: I'm sorry about how things turned out.

Saber paused. She didn't look back at her but released a sigh of frustration. She hoped it wasn't against herself.

Saber: You are not to blame, so there is no need to apologize. My duty is to protect you, and so I shall.

Irisviel: But you wanted to stop Caster yourself, didn't you?

Saber: I do. But I understand the situation, and this strategy is much more advantageous to us. If nothing else, Foreigner's prowess is sufficient to eliminate that monster.

Irisviel: I see. And then there is the matter of his Master.

Saber: What of her?

Irisviel: You feel the same, don't you? A sense of... emptiness from her. Something that I wouldn't wish on any child.

Saber: ...Yes. Foreigner's Master is not what she appears to be. However empty she may feel, there are gaps in that behavior.

Irisviel: How so?

Saber: If- no, when you cross paths once more, look into her eyes as she interacts with Foreigner. Light returns to them whenever he is involved. 

Irisviel: Hmm. In essence, she becomes a girl her age.

Saber: That... is a viable explanation, yes.

Irisviel smiled. Despite the situation, she couldn't help but find the eighth Servant and his Master to be an interesting pair whenever they weren't terrifying. It saddened her that they would have to eventually face against each other, but such was the path of the Holy Grail War. 

Saber: Mind your surroundings!

She was jolted out of her musing by Saber blocking a set of flying swords that would have skewered her if not for the Servant. She had no time to chastise herself for being caught off-guard.

She noticed the weapons on the ground. Black Keys. Special weapons belonging to the executors of the Church.

Irisviel: ...Saber, be careful. The enemy is most likely resorting to sneak attacks.

Saber nodded while placing herself in front of her. A seemingly endless silence followed before they heard the sounds of footsteps approaching.

Kirei Kotomine stepped into the clearing. He looked unarmed and unassuming, but Saber and Irisviel knew much better than that.

Kirei: ...You have allied yourself with the eighth Master. 

Saber: Begone, Master of Assassin. I do not believe you to be foolish enough to engage in combat with a Servant.

Kirei: You would be correct.

Saber saw a glint out of the corner of her eye. She swung her sword, blocking a knife that was not headed towards her, but Irisviel.

Irisviel realized that Kirei had brought his own Servant.

Saber: Irisviel, step back!

She started to rush around her, blocking a hail of handheld weapons, from knives to scimitars to xiphoses. 

Irisviel: I can't! Assassin will chase me if I'm separated from you, and it would be harder for you to fight if I leave!

She looked forward. Kirei had taken the opportunity to rush forward with his Black Keys. Blocking the weapons and the executor was a hard task for Saber.

Luckily, Kiritsugu had taught her more than the joy of driving. 

Irisviel: Shape Ist Leben! 

The instant homunculus darted forward. Kirei swung his arm, aiming to rip the bird to shreds with his weapons. Before he could do so, however, the avian suddenly became a mass of wires that instantly coiled around Kirei's arms.

Using a special form of Alchemic Magecraft, she summoned thin, long, flexible wires that quickly assembled into the shape of a large bird.

The mildly surprised executor was forced to drop the Black Keys as his arms were fully restrained from the wires. He tried to break free, but Irisviel would not allow that.

Irisviel: Saber, deal with Assassin as fast as you can!

Saber: But you'll be defenseless-!

Irisviel: I can hold him off for a few minutes! Please, just go! 

She heard Saber's begrudging grunt of agreement before she activated her Mana Burst ability for an extra boost of speed and power. 

Irisviel didn't have to win. She had to survive. It was the least she could do for Kiritsugu.

Scene Break- Einzbern Castle

At the castle, another battle was soon to take place. Two men entered through the destroyed doorstep. One was accompanied by a rather strange blob of pure mercury. He cleared his throat and proceeded to speak loudly.

Kayneth: Kayneth El-Melloi, 9th Archibald family head, is here. Mage of the Einzbern, let us duel for the Grail with our lives and our honors!

No one answered. He looked to the side and at the second figure, a certain knight with two spears.

Kayneth: It seems that they do not fancy the idea of direct combat, Lancer. This castle is in dire need of dusting.

Lancer: Milord, Caster is nearby. I cannot let such a monster roam free. If I may be so bold, may I-

Kayneth: Denied, Lancer. You yourself swore that Saber, the Servant of the Einzberns, would fall to your spears, yes?

Lancer: And I plan to uphold that vow, yet-

Kayneth: IF Saber is not present, then I shall allow you to do as you wish. For now, you will be at my side. Am I understood?

Lancer: ...Yes, milord.

Kayneth: Good. Ire: Sanctio.

With this command, Kayneth's special Mystic Code, Volumen Hydrargyrum, reached out and transformed into a web of automated probes to search the floors of the castle.

Soon enough, Kayneth smirked, apparently having found something. Lancer dutifully followed his Master from a distance as he proceeded to slice into a room with his Mystic Code.

Gunfire soon followed. Lancer watched with hardened eyes as a man in a suit emerged from the opening, no doubt running from his Master.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a woman silently hiding in another corner of the hallway before she ran off toward the battle. Most likely an aide to the enemy Master.

It would be dishonorable to strike at the Master, not to mention he wouldn't get to finish his duel with Saber. Lancer stayed out of sight as the battle raged on.

Kayneth: (Mental Link) Lancer. Saber does not appear to be nearby, and this mage is currently running for his life. 

Lancer: (Mental Link) Then-?

Kayneth: (Mental Link) Very well. Do as you wish.

Lancer nodded gratefully and was about to return to astral form. He was stopped from doing so when he came unto a particular sight.

A little girl in a dress standing right in the middle of the hallway.

Emi: Hello, Lancer. Why are you leaving so soon?

Lancer: You are... the eighth Master?

Emi: Ah. So this is what they mean when they say "The cat is out of the bag."

Lancer: If you wish to battle, then summon your Servant.

Emi: You say that, yet your spears are brandished and ready to impale. Contradicting yourself, hm?

Lancer, out of instinct, had summoned his spears. He trusted his instincts, and they dictated that what was in front of her wasn't a simple little girl.

Emi: It's alright, though. You will need them, after all.

Lancer: My apologies, but I have no business or wish to fight with you. 

Emi: Well, I'm sorry to say that your opinion on this conflict is pretty much invalid.

She suddenly raised her hand and clenched her fist. Lancer twitched, feeling something being inscribed upon his body.

Lancer: What did you just do, girl?

Emi: A modified version of Ath nGabla, a rune spell. What does it do? Death matches. The caster can't escape, and the target can't refuse combat. Well, remove the first part for this occasion. Can't be too reckless.

Lancer's eyes widened as he confirmed this statement. He physically couldn't turn away nor return to astral form. There was only one option left.

Lancer: ...I wish it did not come to this, but you literally leave me no choice. Very well. I, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, the first spear of the Knights of Fianna, shall be your opponent.

Emi: I'm Emi. Since you have manners, unlike a certain dumbass I know, I suppose I can humor this chivalry of yours. Now, shall we?

She smiled. A shiver went up Diarmuid's spine.

Whatever this girl was about to unleash, he knew that this would not be a battle that he would win easily.

Scene Break

Lately, the city of Fuyuki has been plagued with a serious case of gas leaks.

So much that a part of the forest beside the city was currently being burnt to the ground.

Zaegar: (In thought) Huh? The Fuck do you mean we're getting a lawsuit from the state of California?! What's that? Does Australia want to know my location?!

Ophis: (Within Zaegar's mind) Yes.

Zaegar: (In thought) Screw them.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But what about the 20 million trees?!" I know, I know. I am just as appalled as you are.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. Other men just want to burn trees. OTHER men just want SOMETHING to burn.

This was a mixture of all of those things.

Zaegar: THESE HERETICS MUST BE PURGED IN HOLY FIRE FOR THE EMPEROR YHWACH!

Now, you might be thinking: "Why is this beautiful chaotic Hollow standing there, laughing as he fires a ridiculous amount of flamethrowers?"

To that, I answer: Business as usual.

Ophis: So how many flamethrowers are these?

Zaegar: Lost count at 500... What to do... I know! 

Ophis: Let me guess More flamethrowers?

Zaegar: I was thinking of counting them, but that works too. Ophis, start the prayer.

Ophis: By the name of the great emperor Yhwach, may your soul burn to ashes.

Yhwach: ...

Zaegar: YEAH, BURN, ASSHOLES!

He aimed his flamethrowers at the abominations summoned by Caster, who strangely was nowhere to be found-

Zaegar: GOTCHA BITCH!

Until he was found. What? Did you expect some kind of mystery search? Tough luck.

He aimed behind him. Caster would have been incinerated had he not summoned monsters to protect himself. The mad Servant screamed in rage.

Caster: FIRE! HOW DARE YOU REMIND ME OF THE HOLY VIRGIN'S DEMISE?! 

Zaegar: Bitch, what?

Ophis: Jeanne d'Arc was burned to death.

Zaegar: PFFT, Jeanne d'Arc more like Jeanne D'umbass. The stoopid bitch could've used a fire-resistance potion. Rookie mistake.

A colossal jet of fire was headed towards Caster, who repeated the same strategy. Zaegar huffed. Those monsters were weak, but they appeared just as fast as he killed them.

He could, of course, just kill them faster, but he was comfortable with burning things.

Caster: I KNOW JEANNE IS HERE! BRING HER TO ME AT ONCE, YOU SAVAGE FIEND!

Zaegar: Hmm... You know, you're holding onto that book a tad bit too tightly. Almost as if it were important.

Caster: What-

Zaegar: Hippity hoppity your book is now my property.

Caster suddenly realized that the book he was holding tightly to his chest was not in his grasp. Zaegar gazed at the book with a curious glance.

Caster: When did you-?!

Zaegar: Oh, this is your book... Imma burn it.

Caster: DON'T YOU DARE!

Zaegar: Imma do it.

Caster: YOU WILL NOT-

Zaegar: Whoops, my flamethrowers slipped.

Now, a standard Noble Phantasm wouldn't normally be harmed by mere flames (There may be exceptions, but Zaegar doesn't care.). But taking into account that the flamethrowers were items taken out of Zaegar's Noble Phantasm, and thus Noble Phantasms of their own, then it did.

In summary: Zaegar reduced Caster's book to fucking atoms.

Caster: NOOOOOO!

The monsters summoned by Caster immediately dissolved into a red substance that was either blood or very detailed corn syrup.

Zaegar: Bah, don't whine like a lil bitch. You can probably get it back later. But you'll need energy for that. Fire IS a form of energy, so I'm gonna be a good samaritan and share some with you to compensate. 

Ophis: Annoying creature, you know what happens when you bullshit instead of killing things, right?

Zaegar: Yup.

He rolled his hollow eyes just as he teleported out of the way. If he were any other Servant, he would have been impaled at his spot from the sudden barrage of projectiles.

Suddenly gravity felt MUCH heavier once more. This wasn't a natural phenomenon. It was a clash of egos.

A man in golden armor stood unharmed by the raging flames, with various portals manifesting at his side.

Zaegar: Well, well, well. if it isn't Goldilocks. Long time no see.

Archer: I am disturbed by the noise made by a mongrel and a parasite. What was I to do other than exterminate the source of this annoyance?

Zaegar: Put on a sleep mask and play some relaxing tunes, for a start. You should buy my newest mixtape, it features 50+ songs about how much better I am than you.

Ophis: (In thought) The worst part is that he's not lying. I had to skip Columbo for THAT trainwreck. Damn it all to hell.

Offhandedly, Zaegar saw Caster having the intention of escaping. He internally sighed, as messing with Archer wasn't as important as killing the serial child killer.

Zaegar: Where the fuck do you think you're going?

He blurted out of place and speed-blitzed Caster, greeting him with a punch right to the face. He would have crashed on a tree, but the surrounding forest was set ablaze.

Before Caster could get up, Zaegar was right above him and stomped his head to the ground. He grimaced. He would have to clean the soles of his boots later, as well as his gloves.

Zaegar: Do me a favor and die.

He aimed the flamethrowers at his position and fired without wasting any other second. Archer watched the inferno with a non-plussed stare. 

Soon enough, Zaegar emerged from the fire while cleaning some ash from his hollow mask. He looked quite annoyed.

Zaegar: Tch, his Master summoned him with a Command Seal.

With an irritated snarl, he adjusted his hollow mask and regarded Archer with a disdainful gaze. He mused that messing with the golden king would lift his spirits up.

Zaegar: Speaking of Command Seals, you here for the bounty, Goldilocks? Or are you just here to bask in my glory?

Archer: Your arrogance knows no bounds. I have no need for such trifles as Command Seals.

Zaegar: Oh, I know, you're here to thank me for the little surprise I left you. Admit it, you loved it.

Archer: Consider that stunt the deed that robbed you of the privilege of a quick demise.

Zaegar: Well, if all you've got are words, I might just die of boredom.

Archer: Then prepare to meet your end, parasite!

Zaegar's smirk widened into a grin.

Zaegar: I'll take a page out of Yhwach's book. Let's fucking dance.

Scene Break - Einzbern Castle

Emi lazily pointed her finger and fired the first attack. A Gandr spell, one that was much more powerful than any magi could dream of. 

She expected Lancer to dodge, however. She guessed correctly, as Lancer sidestepped just in time. The end of the hallway was destroyed as Lancer dashed towards her.

What to do... She could use the tentacles and immediately end this, but that wouldn't be any fun. Those spears were dangerous, so she had to keep her distance.

Well, she had infinite mana and knowledge about anything in this world. It didn't hurt to branch out from her usual methods.

For instance, the magic of a certain Magus Killer was interesting. Her body couldn't take the strain, so she did the opposite.

Emi: Antithesis: Time Alter: Triple Stagnate.

Time seemed to slow down around the area because it did slow down. Lancer widened his eyes, almost walking instead of dashing at his opponent. 

Emi: What? Did you honestly expect me to fight a Servant normally?

Such a spell would have killed a normal magus. She, however, could keep it up endlessly. Still, she calmly stepped back from Lancer's dash. Getting close was most likely a death sentence, even now.

Lancer frowned. Suddenly, he went from walking to actually running. He hadn't been using his full speed, Emi mused. Oh, well. Slowing time it was.

Emi: Antithesis: Time Alter: Quintuple Stagnate.

She watched with amusement as Lancer once again slowed down to a walking pace. He was rather close to her, with Gae Dearg ready to slash, not impale. He didn't want her dead after all. 

She sighed. Suddenly this wasn't as fun as she thought it would be.

Emi: Release Alter.

As she said this, she summoned a tentacle and it violently struck Lancer across the hallway. The spearman quickly caught his footing and regained his composure. He looked at her with a cautious gaze.

Lancer: What sort of magecraft was that?

Emi: Oh, nothing important.

Lancer: You manipulated time, young lady. I doubt many magi can attest to that. 

Emi: I simply "reverse-engineered" a form of magecraft. Technically, I just deployed a Reality Marble. 

Lancer: Most impressive.

Emi waved off the compliment, giving Lancer an increasingly bored look. She noticed a particular spot below his right eye.

...And just as she expected, it did nothing to her.

Emi: You know, you really aren't living up to the epithet Diarmuid of The Love Spot. Does it have an exception for adorable little girls like me?

Lancer: What? Er, no.

Emi: How do you know for certain?

Lancer: Well...

Emi: ...Forget I asked. Just forget it.

The Root had just informed her. She could have gone on without knowing, but she knew everything. It was a damn curse.

Emi: Whatever. You're nothing compared to my Foreigner.

She wouldn't admit out loud that her Servant was... something more than a mere sacrifice to her. The one who could not know, under any circumstances, was Foreigner himself.

Not out of embarrassment, but because that smug hollow would NEVER let her hear the end of it and would hold it over her until the heat-death of the universe.

Emi: In any case, I suggest you start running. 

Lancer: I cannot until you release me from your rune.

Emi: Oh, Lancer. This is STILL a death match for you. Well, more like a Cat-and-Mouse death game for now. Start running~!

She snapped her finger with a hollow smirk. A myriad of tentacles emerged from the ground and went straight for Lancer. 

The spearman quickly used Gae Dearg to sever a cluster of tentacles, only for the appendages to simply regenerate like nothing had happened, forcing him to retreat. Manaka skipped alongside the hallway as she chased Lancer.

She looked out of a window.

The forest was on fire. She instinctively knew who the culprit was.

Emi: (Mental Link) Oh, for the love of- FOREIGNER!

Zaegar: (Mental Link) For the love of me, yeah. What's up bitch?

Emi: (Mental Link) FOREST ON FIRE! WHY?!

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Why not?

Emi: (Mental Link) ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!

Zaegar: (Mental Link) I wanted to send Caster packing. He slipped away 'cause his Master's got a stash of Command Seals, just like you. Oh, and guess who's crashing our party? Goldilocks.

Emi: (Mental Link) Archer's here?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Yeah, I'm giving him a run for his money. It's a riot. How's it hangin', Mistress?

Emi: (Mental Link) We're fine on our end. Lancer is pretty boring to fight, so I'm chasing him to kill time.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Dope. Look out for the furball. He's bound to get to the castle with the kids Caster brought here.

Emi: (Mental Link) Yes, yes, I'll hypnotize them when I'm done here.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Right. Well, Imma keep Goldilocks over here for a few rounds. This should be a lot of- Oh... Uh, okay... Oh. It's about to get WAY better.

Emi: (Mental Link) Why? Did something happen?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Berserker's here. 

She paused as she gazed at the flaming forest. Soon enough, explosions were visible in the distance, signaling a large battle was taking place.

Emi: (Mental Link) ...Take care.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Are you saying that to Goldilocks and Berserky? 'Cause I sure as hell don't need it. See you in a bit.

She shook her head once she felt him "hang up" the mental link. Normally, she would have stressed out, but she had learned not to underestimate her Servant as much as she did previously. 

It was strange. At the start of the war, she wouldn't have hesitated in taking Lancer as her own Servant. Now, though, the idea seemed very unappealing.

Her hands were full as it was with Foreigner in her life.

She concentrated on amusing herself by chasing Lancer. It was quite a fun activity. And the best part was that it could all be blamed on Lancer's E-Rank Luck.

Scene Break - Other Side Of The Forest

Away from the burning battlefield, another conflict was taking place. 

As much as she wished Irisviel to leave to safety, Saber knew that her staying here was the best chance, since Assassin and their Presence Concealment could strike at any time and inflict a fatal wound.

She was confused. She had been blocking weapons from many directions. Unless Assassin had speed that could rival Foreigner's, then there were multiple assailants.

Saber: Irisviel, whatever you do, do not stay idle! Keep moving!

She did not hear the response, instead focusing on terminating Assassin from the shadows. A knife from the northeast was blocked. She sped in the same direction in the blink of an eye.

When she saw a skull mask, she instinctively slashed the individual in half. Assassin, she mused. She knew that it would not be over this easily.

While restraining the Master of Assassin, Irisviel had taken the opportunity to summon more familiars with her mana-infused wires. Two small birds guard her until one suddenly flies to her left to block a Xiphos. Saber had her next target, but it was on the opposite side of the clearing.

Saber: Strike Air!

Using a burst of wind by pointing her blade behind her, Saber rocketed past Irisviel. Fortunately, she was used to such speeds, so she did not get tunnel vision. Another skull mash, severed in two.

She looked ahead. Another section of the forest had been engulfed in a raging fire. It illuminated the space around her. 

Just enough for her to notice another figure coming at her inches away from her blind spot. She terminated them out of instinct. 

Just then, she had an idea. Assassins were using the darkness of the trees to hide themselves, but she could use the fire to at least figure out their silhouettes.

Fortunately, the forest fire was spreading very quickly. She turned back, now seeing the clearing with much more clarity. Irisviel was doing surprisingly well for her first time in battle, using her wires to restrain her enemy as much as she could.

The executor, however, wasn't to be taken lightly. He could still fight, even with his arms restrained. She frowned as Irisviel was struck with a kick to her midsection, but she had to focus on Assassin. She looked around, using the fire behind her as a light. Two. Four. Six enemies.

In a brief moment of curiosity, she wondered how many seconds would a certain archer of the Round Table would have eliminated these foes. Two seconds and that was if he was getting rusty.

She was about to strike when the six figures suddenly moved forward. Towards the clearing, she realized.

Six figures of varying sizes and genders, but each sharing the same skull mask. They had realized that she had seen them and had decided to attack directly. Saber immediately activated her Mana Burst and pointed her blade at the flames.

Saber: Strike Air!

They were fast, but she was faster. She arrived just in time to behead three of them in one fell swoop. A fourth one, right at Irisviel's left, parried and severed. Two remaining. 

She heard the sound of metal behind her. She tilted her head to avoid a scimitar, before reversing her handle on her sword and stabbing behind her.

Then, she jumped and brought down her sword on the last of them. It had all happened in the span of a few seconds. Five, if she counted right. 

Irisviel: S-Saber...

She looked up and saw three blades emerging from Irisviel's lower back. The executor stood in front of her with a stoic expression.

Saber: DAMN YOU!

She leaped over Irisviel and aimed to behead the priest, but he saw it coming. He jumped back and started to fire many of those Black Keys at her while making distance.

As she parried, Saber was presented with two choices. Tend to the fatally wounded Irisviel or chase after the fiend who had impaled her.

She had already made her choice before she could contemplate it.

Saber: Irisviel!

She gently cradled her. She was losing blood at an alarming rate. She opened her eyes with difficulty.

Irisviel: Saber...

Saber: Irisviel, you must stay awake! I will contact Kiritsugu. Be strong until then!

Irisviel: Did he... escape?

Saber: ...Yes. Had I been only a second faster-

Irisviel: It's... okay, Saber. I'm fine now.

Saber: Do not be foolish, Irisviel! You are losing blood and-

Irisviel: I was losing blood. 

She suddenly sat up with amazing ease for someone who had been impaled by three separate swords. 

Saber: ...Irisviel?

She smiled at her as she showed the wounds... or rather, the lack of wounds. Saber was lost for words for a brief moment.

Saber: How... can this be?

Irisviel: Well... It's a long story. I'm sorry for being a burden to you.

Saber: ...No. You fought magnificently. I must applaud your courage.

Irisviel: I just stalled for time, but everything turned out well... Also, the forest is, um, on fire.

Saber: It is.

Irisviel: ...We should get out of here.

Saber: We should.

Irisviel: ...I assume you want an explanation of what just happened.

Saber: I do. But first, your safety.

Just as she said that the area was assaulted by the loud noises of explosions in the background. Saber looked towards the center of the flames with narrowed eyes. She faintly heard voices.

???: EMERGENCY MEETING! YELLOW AND BLACK ARE SUS AS FUCK! PETITION TO EJECT THEM!

???: (Within ???'s mind) AY AY CAPTAIN!

???: BE SILENT AND PERISH MONGRELS!

???: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Foreigner, Archer, and Berserker, respectively. Saber didn't say anything as she simply scooped Irisviel in her arms and carried her out of there at high speed.

She had the feeling that joining that battle would only result in even more chaos. She could at least make sure Irisviel was at a safe distance. A few kilometers away, give or take.

Scene Break

Waver: ...Rider?

Rider: Hmm?

Waver: The forest is on fire.

Rider: Ah, it is. Heh, it's probably the "gas leak" problem.

Waver: Rider!

Rider: Relax, boy. I'm currently in the middle of a grand strategy in order to dethrone that Clinton fellow.

Waver sighs.

Waver: Of course you are.

Scene Break - Forest, Burning Area

Although he had seen much cooler things, Berserker wielding an Uzi and a shotgun at the same time was pretty fucking cool to Zaegar.

Zaegar: Now that's what I'm talking about! Big guy's got style!

Berserker: RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

He smirked as he felt the bullets bounce off him. Had they impacted against a normal person, they would have been reduced to a bloody paste from a single one.

Zaegar: Gotta hand it to him, that's one hell of a power move. Medieval knight with modern firepower? It's like he's saying, "I make my own rules."

Ophis: I wonder what Berserker's Master was thinking when he equipped him with those weapons.

Zaegar: Probably something like, "Let's turn this ancient warrior into a walking arsenal." Classic.

They both leaped aside to avoid a barrage of energy beams unleashed by Archer. The golden king stood beside a peculiar blue contraption, looking as regal and unbothered as ever.

Zaegar: Oi, Goldilocks, what's with the fancy boat toy?

Archer: Hmph. The Boat of Heaven, Maana. It's only fitting that I exterminate a parasite with the weapon chosen by the greatest of mongrels.

Zaegar: You sound pretty salty about it. Want to talk it out, or are you too busy being a walking dictionary?

Archer: Such trivialities. At least the rabid dog knows its place and remains silent-

He twitched as he tilted his head to the side to avoid a bullet. Zaegar openly cheered as Berserker discarded his shotgun in order to wield a sniper rifle as his new Noble Phantasm.

Zaegar: Now that's what I'm talking about! Why's he allowed to be this badass?!

Archer: Vermin. Witness the might of Ig-Alima and Sul-sagana!

Two massive portals appeared in the sky, each unleashing colossal swords, one ablaze and the other steel.

Ophis: He's using building-size swords as projectiles. Truly an Archer, that man.

Zaegar: Yo, big guy, I don't suppose you can make one of those your Noble Phantasm, right?

Berserker: Rrrrgh...!

Zaegar: You can? but it'd take too much energy, huh? Shame on your Master. 

Archer: Let's see how you fare against Divine Constructs, mongrels.

The giant steel sword, Ig-Alima, came down first, with Sul-sagana coming not too far behind, burning the air around it. 

Zaegar: Oh, you think you're tough 'cause you're compensating for something? Well, get a load of THIS!

He lifted his hand into the air, conjuring a powerful burst of light behind him. As it faded, both Berserker and Archer were left in awe at what emerged.

Zaegar: They said you can't just shoot a hole into the surface of Mars. Well, Fuck you and FUCK THEM, I'm doing it anyway!

As the dust settled, Zaegar stood proudly with his massive machine, a literal big fucking gun, towering behind him.

Zaegar: Never bring a sword to a gunfight, you fuckers!

The sheer size and firepower of Zaegar's weapon dwarfed even the divine constructs summoned by Archer. 

The massive machine began glowing. Zaegar simply brought his hand down and the world exploded with a white light.

The only saving grace was that it would be classified as another gas leak.

Scene Break - Einzbern Castle

Kiritsugu stopped to catch his breath. Having used Time Alter, even at the bare minimum, had been taxing on his body. He knew not to waste each second of respite, since he was being chased by a magus with a problematic form of magecraft.

Mana-infused mercury that could attack and defend simultaneously, not to mention that it had a method of tracking him down by his vital signs.

He looked up. A thin tendril of silver liquid was reaching down to touch his shoulder. Kiritsugu had no choice but to push himself further.

Kiritsugu: Time Alter: Triple Stagnate.

His breath hitched as he felt his body functions slow down until the very limit, including his heartbeat and respiration. 

Seconds seemed like years before the mercury slowly began to retreat. Once it was safe, he released a breath. Kayneth was coming from the adjacent hallway, he assumed.

He assumed correctly, as the magus calmly walked in with his Mystic Code at his side. Kiritsugu readied his submachine gun, the Calico before he spoke out loud.

Kiritsugu: Kayneth!

He started to fire rounds. As he expected the Mystic Code shifted into a protective wall that shielded the surprised Kayneth. The magus regained his composure with a smug smirk.

Kayneth: You fool! You're wasting your time!

BANG!, It was the sound of a gun, but not from Kiritsugu's side. There was a brief silence before the mercury suddenly dissolved to the floor.

Kayneth Archibald's expression was a long shot from the calm smugness from seconds ago. He looked in visible agony as he vomited blood. He wanted to scream, but the only sounds that came out were whimpers of unspeakable pain.

The pain of severing the Magic Circuits themselves was very severe, no matter how little you possessed.

The magus collapsed on the floor on a pool of his own blood mixed with the mercury. He looked up and saw the cause of his victory.

Maiya: Target neutralized.

She stood at the opposite side of the hallway with his personal Mystic Code, the Thompson Contender. One of his special Origin Bullets was all it took to incapacitate Lord El-Melloi.

Incapacitate, not eliminate. The magus was still alive, writhing in agony. The least Kiritsugu could do was put him out of his misery. He aimed the Calico and fired without hesitation.

However, the wall beside Kayneth's body was suddenly destroyed, creating a cloud of dust. Kiritsugu kept firing until he heard the sound of bullets ricocheting off something.

The dust cleared. Kiritsugu didn't react as Kayneth's Servant glared heatedly.

Lancer looked worse for wear. There were many small wounds that would normally not slow him down, but they were too many to ignore. A thin trail of blood went down from his mouth, but the spearman did not seem like he was finished.

Lancer: You understand how easy it would be to simply skewer the both of you, correct?

Emi: Now now, Lancer, it's impolite to take your eyes off your enemy, not to mention a tad dumb.

The young voice of the girl simply known as Emi was heard as she emerged from the destroyed cavity. She had been battling with a Servant, yet she looked in perfect condition and didn't even look winded.

Emi: Ah, so you've taken down his Master. Well, that's that.

She made a fist before opening it. Lancer twitched as Kiritsugu saw an unknown rune flaring up in Lancer's torso before it faded away.

Emi: This cat-and-mouse game was an amusing activity. You're free to leave now, Lancer. Hurry, though. He's in quite the ordeal.

Lancer: You willingly allow me to retreat?

Emi: I figured it would do me no good if I didn't follow that chivalry of yours. Next time, do have a viable strategy.

Still frowning, Lancer had the courtesy to nod at her in a semblance of gratitude before he put his Master on his shoulder and sped away.

Silence followed as the girl turned her head to smile at Kiritsugu. Few things caused dread in him, and that smile was one of them.

Emi: Good show, Mr. Emiya. It should be easy for you to track down Lancer's Master at your own pace. Caster escaped by Command Seal, and Foreigner is currently in a three-way scuffle with Archer and Berserker.

Even now, the sounds of a large battle were resonating through the hallways. 

Emi: This concludes our little get-together. Would you fancy me killing you now? I'd make it quick as my gratitude for your services.

At last, it had come to this.

Kiritsugu and Maiya made eye contact before they simultaneously aimed the Calico and the Contender at the girl. She simply smirked.

Emi: Antithesis... Time Alter...

Kiritsugu: What?! 

Emi: Sextuple Stagnate.

As they fired, time slowed down around them. Kiritsugu tried to make sense of the situation as he felt himself move at a snail's pace. The girl simply walked forward, avoiding the bullets headed towards her.

Emi: Don't be surprised, I just inverted the effect of your magecraft, Mr. Emiya. Instead of slowing time internally, I did it externally. It's a pretty neat trick, right? 

She was the only one moving at a normal pace as she nonchalantly skipped towards Kiritsugu. A tentacle emerged from below him and smacked the Calico out of his grasp.

She soon was before him, and he couldn't move in time. A simple whim and he would be dead on the spot. She then shrugged.

Emi: Oh, well. You'll have your hands full with your backyard in flames and all that. Not to mention that you did a good job today. For that, you get to live another day. I'll be mad if you go after us after this favor, though. But I know you're smart enough not to do that. Good show and good night.

She mockingly saluted before stepping around him and exiting the hallway. Time suddenly returned to normal, letting both Kiritsugu and Maiya breathe.

Maiya: That was...

Kiritsugu: ...Yes. Time alteration magecraft exclusive to the Emiya family.

Maiya: But... how?

Kiritsugu did not bother to answer. He didn't have any plausible explanation for what just happened. He could, however, discern his current feelings.

Just as he dreaded Kirei Kotomine, he feared the girl known as Emi. Perhaps even more than the former.

Scene Break - Forest

Zaegar growled. He had barely missed the moon in the recent shot. Well, they didn't know that, so he had to play it cool.

Zaegar: How's that for size, you half-Mongrel

Archer was a mixture of mild astonishment and annoyance. Berserker... well, he was Berserker. I think that says enough.

Archer: Hmph. It appears that you can do more than simply bark nonsense.

Zaegar: Are you talking about yourself there? 'Cause it TOTALLY fits your description. Btdubs, I'm aiming this at you.

He grinned savagely as the machine was trained on Archer. To his credit, the golden king didn't even flinch, simply crossing his arms.

Zaegar: How 'bout you, Berserky? Feel like you can keep up?

Surprisingly, instead of lashing out, Berserker silently returned to his astral form. They felt his presence retreating from the battlefield.

Zaegar: Huh. Guess his Master isn't that much of a dumbass. Anyway, you ready to take it up a notch, Goldilocks?

Archer: Come, then. It will be most amusing to see you struggle before the inevitable.

Zaegar: Inevitable meaning me killing you, right? Nah, I won't struggle with that. Heh, here we go.

Emi: (Mental Link) Foreigner.

Zaegar sighed inwardly.

Zaegar: ... What now?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) I'm pretty damn busy here. What is it now bitch?

Emi: (Mental Link) We're done here. Let's go home.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) But Mistreeeeeess! It was getting to the good part!

Emi: (Mental Link) You've caused enough chaos. DO NOT do this right now. If you don't, I'll take out your pub privileges.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Oi, NO ONE takes my pub privileges!

Emi: (Mental Link) Then I'll set out and destroy every bar in the city until you can't drink anymore.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Pft, I've got an infinite supply of alcohol at the ready. Who the fuck do you think I am?

Emi: (Mental Link) And I'll take out the soda fountain and the bowling alley at the villa.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) We have a bowling alley?!

Emi: (Mental Link) And you won't ever get to try it.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Fiiiiiiiiine. 

He waved his hand, dismissing the machine with a mere thought. He regarded Archer with an annoyed look.

Zaegar: You know how this song and dance goes already. Man, blue-balled for the third time, am I right?

Archer: Spare me your insolence, parasite.

Zaegar: Insolence? That's a big word for someone who's missing the point. But hey, I'll let you have your delusions, King of Mongrels.

He mockingly bowed to Archer before he teleported out of there. He would have been struck by numerous swords had he stayed there a second longer.

Archer glared in disgust and anger before he returned to astral form, once again leaving a much more destroyed forest behind.

Scene Break - Later, Zaegar's Residence

Zaegar had reunited with his Mistress and Fou after making sure Emi hypnotized the kidnapped children and returned them to safety. They were currently nearing the entrance of their residence.

Zaegar: I'd say this was a good day, huh?

Emi: Aside from you being yourself-

Zaegar: Which was the best part, of course.

Emi: -it was indeed a nice day. I think Saber's Master will know better than to aim for us now.

Zaegar: You scared him or something?

Emi then creepy smirks.

Emi: Eheheheh~! You can say that.

Zaegar: Aw, there's the adorably creepy Mistress I know.

He chuckled mockingly as he gave her a headpat. She swatted away his hand with a glare.

Zaegar: Right. Let's check that bowling alley, get some sleep, and kill Caster tomorrow. Sound like a plan?

Emi: Fine.

They entered through the front doors. Fou, who had been napping on Zaegar's shoulder, suddenly perked up.

Fou: Fou, fou, fou!

Zaegar: Someone's here, Mistress.

Emi: A thief, Maybe

Fou: Fou!

Zaegar: Two of them. Not a thief, he says. 

Emi: Hmm. Be prepared for a battle, Foreigner. Let's enter with caution-

Zaegar: OI, WHO THE FUCK'S IN MY HOME?! YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH THE SODA FOUNTAIN OR THE BOWLING ALLEY! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Emi sighs.

Emi: Or we could throw caution to the wind, of course.

He rushed forward and burst through the front door. Emi was behind him as they arrived at the living room.

They were greeted by their intruders.

???: Well, hello there! It took me a lot to find this place, you know. It's certainly luxurious, I admit. 

Emi was speechless for a brief moment. She knew exactly who this person was.

Emi: (In thought) The Kaleidoscope...

Zaegar: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! 

She gawked at him. Did Foreigner know this person? He seemed like he did. And judging by his enraged expression, he wasn't happy to see him.

???: Now hold on, before we do anything we might regret-

Zaegar: FUCK YOU, AND DIE BITCH!

He was soundly silenced by Zaegar punching him in the face. The old man was sent backward, breaking a window and rocketing into the starry night.

Zaegar: Tch, so this is where he was hiding. He's got balls to show his face in front of me. He better not be dead before he pays me.

They turned to their second "guest", who was calmly sipping some tea while sitting on the couch.

???: Ah. So this is what he meant. How peculiar.

Zaegar: AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU BITCH?

Emi had the feeling that this Holy Grail War was about to get much more complicated than it already was.