THE PAST

Who is Markel in my life? He's the biggest parasite.

I've known him from a social Networking site and from there, he asked for my number and Facebook account. I'm a bit hesitant at first because I just met him and aside from that he's the total opposite of what I'm looking for in a man.

First, He's still a student by that time.

Second, I am seven months older than him.

Third, He knew nothing to please a woman.

Fourth, he's still young and stupid.

Fifth, he's only after sex.

While, I admire a man who has a stable job, mature enough, and of course, older than me. Who's deeply interested when it comes to the relationship. Who can make me happy and not wearisome? Who can wait and most importantly, respects me!

But all these rules were thrown out of the window because of him. Yes, I don't like some of his characteristics but I know deep down, I really, really like him.

We decided to meet in person after two months.

Right, we decided to meet. The first time I lay my eyes on him, I knew that I love him. I already love him even when I haven't met him personally and now that he's here standing right in front of me, I can't help but feel nervous, but it feels so good at the same time. I love him already.

We kissed and cuddled. He even asked me to have sex with him, but I refused. The truth is we are not yet official. My mind is telling me to stop, but how? When my heart loves him!

He drove me back to my house; I dare to ask. "What are we? Are we in a relationship? "My heart flipped when he said, "YES"

Yes, that's how easy I was when it comes to him.

A week has passed and everything seems to be fine but because of my work schedule and Marknell still attending college, we only met each other once a week.

During our time together something special happened between us, I gave him a part of me that I haven't given to anyone before, not even with the ex-boyfriend whom I've had a relationship with for a year, he died because of an accident.

I gave myself to him even without assurance. Part of me knows that he's only after sex which I knew in the beginning. But the stubborn part of me still believes that he truly loves me. We made love more than once and every time it happens, I never regret any inch of it. I never regret giving myself because I love him.

A few days had passed and I began to ask myself, "Why do I feel like I'm the only one who put effort into this relationship?" I am the only one who takes care of everything. I even disregard my job just to be with him, while he doesn't care and no efforts at all. Every time, I bring it up to him he's the only solution is to break up.

I came to the point that I demanded his time, even a single text from him without me reminding him would do. I don't feel his eagerness to be with me and whenever we talk; our topics revolve around money and sex. He never talks about us, our relationship, or even plans for our future together. The worst part is he always tells me to leave him every time I don't tolerate his inappropriate behavior.

The next day I went online on FB and found out that he unfriended me and he is in a relationship with another girl. It hurts! We just lasted one month, but during that month he did nothing in our relationship, no one. I just fooled myself into loving him.

Even my belief in giving myself to the person I will marry, I forgot for him. I was so hopeless after we broke up and found out that he was just playing with me. I am just one of his pawns in his goddamn chess board game.

One month later, I find out that I am having a baby… yes, I am pregnant. I wondered if I would tell him or not but I chose the first one; I told him I was pregnant. But he said, maybe he is not the father? WTF! Because he is not ready to be a father and the most painful thing, he wanted me to have an abortion. Is he really human? No. He was a monster, a coward. I force myself to have anger for him but I do not succeed, I still get hurt every time I see him happy with others while I am suffering!

I decided to stop our communication and sad to say, the baby is not developing well in my stomach … so I have to let him go. The pain is too much, I cannot accept what happened to me, I love sincerely but why is this happening to me? Where did I go wrong? Where am I missing?

I will force myself to forget about him. I will show him, that he made a mistake with the woman he was playing with!

MY BFF JAYBEE

Childhood Sweetheart, best buddy and used to work together in a supermarket, we are as close as in SUPER, so I am comfortable with him. I treat him like a brother to me. I can tell him all my problems and I can even undress in front of him, that's how comfortable I am with him.

And I can also see his courtship with the women he likes. And he always fails, because they do not know how good Jaybee is. He has a good heart and most of all he does not fool women. He is the type of man who faithfully loves. But he just might not have found the woman for him yet.

The time came when she found out about my pregnancy and Marknell's turning away from me. He was very angry but he did not leave me, his treatment of me did not change. He really cares for me; he always reminds me and accompanies me in my ups and downs.

I also feel his concern and so do I to him. He was also one of the reasons I was able to cope with all the trials in my life because I knew I was not alone. I feel like it is not the end of the world, that there are still people who love me.

I like him. But that's all there is to it. Love prevailed in my heart as a friend to him. Sometimes I think I might fall in love with Jaybee. But that is impossible because he is my…

BFF.