Prologue

'You know, I've gotten used to my life here.'

*Inaudible background noise*

'I could be worse, but it's not half bad.'

*Indiscernible background noise becomes more intense*

'My life was pretty succes-

"BINGOOOO!"

"CAN YOU OLD BATS SHUT IT!"

A lady in her young 30s walked over to the old man in a wheelchair. Her most defining feature was her pale blue-gray hair and the horn that slightly protruded from her head.

Bending down, she said to the old man, "Ken, did you forget your meds."

"He sure did, Ms. Eri; you should help him with that."

"YOU DAMN-"

"Old Timer Ken, you should listen to her, after all, you don't want to age too much, right."

The entire retirement home roared as Ken was wheeled unwillingly to his room.

---

15 minutes later, Ken returned and sat in a corner of the room, looking out the window.

"Ken, Did you get your cuckoo under control."

"Shut up, old man."

"Old? You look older than anyone in this place."

Chuckling to himself Jack wheeled himself back to the bingo table, occasionally cracking jokes, which the now calm Ken brushed off.

*Sigh*

I was a f*cking idiot. I mean, who'd have guessed that by exploring ancient temples, attracting the attention of a god, and dying due to the entrance being covered up, I'd have enough chances to reincarnate?

Then I wasted it.

'FUCK I'd slap myself back then if I could.'

3 wishes. Any 3 F*cking wishes I could ever want and I ask to go into My Hero Academia. Not a nice and easy world like Spy x Family, not a popular world like Harry Potter but My Hero Academia.

My thought process was that there's worlds like Dragon Ball where planets shatter because some big pink baby is annoyed, so this world should be easy. I guess I should be thankful to God for being nice and not making me a cockroach or something.

But this also had its own problems. I was born into this world, I was even the same age as the Mc, but I never asked for a quirk, and here's where my problems start.

One wish was expended to get me into this place, and stupid old me at the ripe age of four buzzed around for a quirk. But 4 and then 5, 6, 7 and 8 all passed with jacksh*t.

So my parents take me to the quirk doctor, (luckily not that weird guy Deku met), and he tells us that I have a quirk but no one knows what it is.

Then I became aware of my wishes, as well as what they were. Apparently, as I never asked for another wish, I was sent here with the other 2. But because I'm a mortal, I can't activate them properly.

In layman's terms, I have no godly energy to use the wish, so I can't grant myself any powerful wishes. After learning that, I sat depressed for 2 weeks as I thought my future was over.

But a pep talk from my dad, where he pointed out the window and asked whether I'd rather be more worthless than some guy whose quirk is to make his eyeballsstretch,d snapped me out of it.

I gained some hope and started my studies. That was until I learned, at the age of 10, what my secondary downsides were.

To accumulate energy for the quirk, I aged twice as fast with the extra time taken for the quirk. And so, having graduated from 5th grade, I looked like I should be in college.

It's safe to say I quickly used my past knowledge and graduated with a G.E.D. Then I went to college and studied finance. Getting my master's and other things took another 5 years. So at the ripe teenage age of 15, I looked like I should have 15 kids.

Then a spark went into my mind. (If you asked, I'd deny it, but I banged my head on a wall for hours, making me end up in the ER.) 'I know the future.'

I abandoned my activities for a month and visited every bank and loan shark I could find. I then amassed over 1 million dollars, thanks to my scary face, which looked like a yakuza back then.

So taking all this money to the Todoroki, Ida, and Yaoyorozu families with an offer. I'll pay each family $1 million if their child wins the sports festival, while I'll get $1 million if they lose.

They should have refused, but thanks to a few underground shady guys, I was able to obtain a charm worth more than $250k that forces people to accept what the wearer says. Of course, if this goes too far against the target's thoughts, it'll fail.

So I chose families that are rich and that love their children (or pride), and they agreed. Now, my influencing this has resulted in a butterfly effect, with everyone becoming more trained. Momo ended up in the top 8 as her family gave her some more 'dangerous' items.

Ida also ended up in the top 8 and Todoroki beat Bakugou with his willingness to use both ice and fire.

*Sigh* Ken took a sip of water as he laminated at him talking to himself like he really went crazy. We'll roll with it as if there's an audience here.

You may be asking, "How'd they lose the bet if they went all out?" Well, they're not the only ones who know how to cheat.

Let's just say the phrase, "never bet against the protagonist" doesn't only apply to Xianxia. Deku may have gotten some tips and tricks allowing him to use full cowling a little early, and Gran Torino paid a visit earlier than expected.

With the matchups also messing around a bit, Deku ended up winning the festival. As for me, I ran from some loan sharks before it ended, and I even ended up on the streets, not willing for them to find my home.

Bringing home $2 million in my anonymous bank account I moved my family to the countryside on the other end of Japan. They strangely believed a 15 year old, probably because of my looks.

After moving, we lived there as farm workers, and they refused to be lazy. They moved to a retirement home before passing, and I ended up getting married.

A contracted one who was only with me for money but with me nevertheless. We got married, and I had kids! I even have grandkids, though they never knew me.

After my wife died the kids distanced themselves from me, know doubt because she'd been separating them from me from birth trying to steal everything I own.

I'm pretty sure she was waiting for me to die because Japanese marriage laws required couples to split up inheritances and assets only after one had died.

Destiny has a funny way of saying things as me at 25 who looked 50 outlived her who died from a car accident. I know quite a lame way for things to end. My story's theme was typical: I raised the kids until they left the nest and never returned (though they made sure I paid for college).

Ken looked outside and saw flames rising in the distance, smoke filling the air. A scene from an apocalypse rose.

'Now here's the real dosie. Leaving everything for the protagonist didn't work out; yes, he became the number one hero and saved Japan by lowering the already low crime rate, but that only lasted until I was 30.'

All for One was not extinct. A piece of himself was inserted into a baby in America. And when I was 30 and he appeared in the limelight, apparently those Americans tried to replicate Stars and Stripes with a clone, letting him steal the clone's copied quirk.

'Damn'd Americans.'

The rest is history, villains rose, the apocalypse happened, people revolted, and none are on the cusp of winning.

*Boom*

Just then, the door to the retirement home was kicked open.

'Looks like my life's ending today.'

The nurses came out and stood in front of the senior citizens, who joked among each other, not giving a care in the world. The soldiers, on the other hand, exhibited no distorted expression as if they expected this.

"Gotcha Boss. Boys Boss said to kill them all as quickly as possible."

"Man, I can't even enjoy them." With his voice lowered, a bomb was thrown into the home as everyone retreated.

Now normal people would be able to retreat, at least the nurses could protect themselves, but with only kindhearted nurses here, they each walked to their favorite patient and hugged them while waiting for the end.

Ken got hugged by Nurse Eri.

"Ken you are shaking, Don't worry, I'll be here with you until the end."

'If only my wife was as nice as you, Ms. Eri, Wait. Shaking? Damn'd Arthritis.'

Ken couldn't say more as the bomb detonated. "Goddammit, it's over."

A light ray enveloped the entire area, erasing everything off the map.

----

Somewhere Else

"He's Dead?"

Eternal silence returned to the ever white plain as a plain white figure in the shape of a human sat on visible nothing.

"I guess I can do him a favor since technically it was my fault I didn't think about his whole wish scenario."

Not saying more about the 'little' mistake he made, the god continued.

"Alright, now what did he last say? It's over. That's right, that will be over. A little fiddling here and there, and boom. "Let's do this and that, and he'll have a very interesting life."

Once finished with his words, a ball of light quickly disappeared, and everything within that mysterious space returned to order.

----

Meanwhile, Ken opened his eyes to find a woman holding him while she went to talk to someone next to her.

Then, through his tiny eyes, he could see a male figure with glasses pick him up and then say something just barely audible.

"~hey little Ken."

While he couldn't make many faces and could only cry, Ken thought to himself,

'F*ck!'