Falling for someone else

ALANA POV

Together, we departed from our families in the living room and made our way towards the lush garden situated behind my house. This location served as the backdrop for our teenage years of academic pursuit. We may not be considered wealthy by societal elite standards, but we are certainly have money. Our respective families have all owned small businesses, and my father's lineage includes the ownership of a local bank that has been passed down through generations. Nowadays, the bank is under the capable management of Jake.

In contrast, Connor's family possessed a regional chain of department stores that spanned several states. Throughout our high school years, we were romantically involved and continued our relationship despite the distance while pursuing our respective college degrees. As I pursue the field of veterinary medicine, Connor has chosen to delve into the realm of business management with the intention of eventually taking over the family enterprise. Last year, we both donned our graduation caps and gowns, ready to embark on the next chapter of our lives. Today was meant to be the day we exchanged vows and pledged our love to one another. Or so it is supposed to happen. Remaining in the bustling metropolis, I dedicated myself to honing my skills in veterinary medicine, with the ultimate goal of establishing a network of clinics upon the occasion of our nuptials. As my internship draws to a close in a matter of weeks. The decision lies before me: to either continue my work within the veterinary field or embark upon the journey of opening my own clinic.

By adopting this approach, Connor could remain present to oversee the business, a decision that was carefully considered and mutually agreed upon by both of us. The question lingered in the air, begging for an answer.

A palpable hush descended upon us, enveloping us in its embrace. Neither of us dared to shatter the stillness, leaving me to wonder what thoughts were swirling in his mind. With his head bowed low, he remained tight-lipped, his silence speaking volumes. The meaning eludes me. Was it a sense of shame that was being conveyed? Guilt? Perhaps the most appropriate response would be silence. Could it really be that simple?

"I apologize, Lana," he said, turning his head to face me. However, his gaze couldn't withstand my lack of emotion.

"Pray tell, Connor, for which specific aspect do you extend your apologies? "

Asking him about the multitude of events that have transpired, I expressed my dissatisfaction with the vagueness of his apology.

He hesitated, his gaze dropping once more, evading my piercing stare. "Lana...I..."

My fury is palpable, yet he remains nonchalant even now. The decision to call off the wedding was one that he deemed to be worth every moment of his life. As the realization washed over me, it became clear that he had been cheating.

"Does her worth surpass the potential humiliation I may endure in front of an audience?"

Tears pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision and threatening to spill down my cheeks.

The letter in question contains a statement regarding my worthiness of a superior partner. I cannot help but wonder, was the intended recipient truly referring to me, or perhaps projecting their own insecurities onto the situation?

The weight of his silence is confirmation enough. Despite the frigid night, I felt as though I had traversed a bed of hot coals, every fiber of my being ablaze with the knowledge of his infidelity. Abandoning me at the altar or ending things through a letter, I could handle the resulting humiliation. However, when he betrayed my trust by being unfaithful, it was the ultimate blow. My sense of self-worth as a woman was shattered, leaving me to question whether I was truly enough. A profound sense of self-doubt had taken root in my mind.

The question was succinct and to the point, leaving no room for ambiguity. The mere thought of hearing the response to a query I posed is enough to deter me from doing so.

He knelt before me, clasping my hands tightly. "Lana, I am deeply sorry." With his forehead resting on my knee, he pleaded for me to cease my inquiries, aware that my probing would only inflict further pain.

"Please, I beg you to refrain from asking me that. I am aware of my wrongdoing and I assure you that it was never my intention for it to transpire. The distance between us left me yearning for affection and unfortunately, she was readily available. Initially, I believed it to be nothing more than a fleeting romantic encounter, but as time passed, I found myself deeply enamored with her".

The utterance of his treacherous justification left my heart feeling as though it had been snapped in two.

"How long, Connor?" I demanded, my voice firm and devoid of any trace of emotion.

"Three years", time passed by without pause.

"With years of opportunity to end our relationship, you chose the day we were to be wed to shatter my heart and toy with my dignity?"

He allowed others to ridicule my family, and for what? I can only hope that the woman he left me for is truly worth the pain he has caused. I swiftly withdrew my hand from his grasp.

Attempting to move on from the pain he caused. His voice trembled as he begged for forgiveness, expressing remorse for any harm he may have caused. "Please believe me," he implored, his words laced with desperation. His heart yearned for my forgiveness.

"Leave, Connor. It's over".

I departed, leaving him in a position of subservience, his body bent in supplication upon the ground. Desperately seeking respite, I yearned to escape the stifling atmosphere that threatened to constrict my very breath. All eyes were fixed on me, brimming with sympathy. It was evident that my exchange with him had been overheard by his parents, as their expressions of shock and embarrassment spoke volumes. Similarly, they too were left in a state of obscurity. As I trembled and clutched my hoodie, Karina drew nearer. With the keen instincts of a nurse, she recognized my panic attack and sprang into action, eager to offer her assistance. I cast a subtle shake of my head in her direction, requiring a brief pause to regain my composure. It was imperative that I conquer this obstacle. Ascending the stairs, I made my way towards my room. With a heavy heart, I turned the key in the lock and leaned against the door. Overwhelmed with emotion, I collapsed onto the floor, tears streaming down my face. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, much like a child's, until I had released all the emotion within me. With a solemn vow, I resolved to never shed another tear for him again. Only after he has suffered the torments of hell will he be deserving of my blessings.

The entire night was spent in a state of inconsolable weeping, as I discarded every last item gifted to me by him into the garbage bin. Without discrimination, I rid of gifts of all sizes. As I gazed upon the engagement ring resting upon my nightstand, I made the decision to discard it, tossing it unceremoniously into the bin.

Despite my reluctance, I find myself unable to part with the ring. Its value is not lost on me, as Aunt Betty has made a point of reminding me of its price since the moment Connor procured it from the jeweler in her presence. The thought of discarding it only to retrieve it once more for inspection is simply unbearable.

Humph, its not even custom made.  

With utmost care, I nestled the precious item into its exquisite velvet box. Then, I slid open the drawer of my nightstand, tucking it away for safekeeping until the opportune moment to sell it arose. The proceeds from the sale would be earmarked for the acquisition of much-needed equipment for my clinic. The generous gift from my father will allow me to save thousands of dollars towards this endeavor.

With a determined focus, I delve into the task of deep cleaning my entire room. Every nook and cranny is meticulously scrubbed and polished, while my belongings are thoughtfully organized with precision. As I sort through my possessions, I am resolute in my decision to weed out anything that bears even the slightest connection to Connor. I want to expunge him entirely from my life, leaving no vestige of his presence within the sanctity of my personal space.

From the porch, the sound of car engines caught my attention. As I looked on, his vehicle emerged from the compound, trailed by his parents. From a distance, I could only bear witness to his existence, fervently hoping that he would suffer the consequences of his actions a hundredfold.

"Alana Geri Blair! Your physical appearance is sooooo attractive. BEAUTIFUL! SMART! Be confident and never underestimate yourself".

I engaged in a soliloquy, conversing with my own image as it stared back at me from the reflective surface of the looking glass. The yearning for emotional stability was palpable within me, as I longed to attain a sense of composure for the sake of my father and brother, Jake.