249. Old Boy Talk

[You can read chapters in advance, OP and GOT fic on -patreon.com/misterimmortal.]

Hector and Odin were sparing to find out who had the strongest fist. It was already known that Hector was the strongest with his magical powers. So this was the best way to compare strengths.

Space was the best place to be for such things. "You can't defeat me, Odin."

"This was never about defeating one another." The old man Odin stopped and looked at Earth with awe. "Such a beautiful planet. I can't believe I abandoned it."

"Yes, most gods do these kinds of things. They first take over a planet, give some gifts, bang some women, have some babies with them, make demi-gods, get a big fan following and then leave after being bored. It's sad, honestly." Hector exclaimed in one breath.

Odin coughed. "That would be Zeus."

"Ah, where does he even live nowadays? I don't remember him having his own realm like you." Hector wondered.

"Oh, he lives in the Omnipotence city made by the first elder gods. Many gods live there, in fact. Zeus is like a leader there, wasting his time on wine and women of all kinds."

"What a waste of power. That's what immortality does to you. You start banging ducks and whatnot. Anyway, what about you? There must be a reason why you called me here." Hector asked.

Odin sighed in response. "Thank you, Hector. You brought my family together. Now even Hela is getting closer to Frigga and learning what family is. Loki is on the right path due to Jean. That leaves Thor... I'm afraid for him. He's too naive and kind. He's in love with some human woman who will die before Thor even blinks."

Hector was not the best at such talks, but he tried. "From what I understand, if you try to stop your son, it will do more harm than good. I believe Thor is genuinely in love with her, and both of them know about the constraints their lifespan will bind them to. So we should let them explore their lives on their own.

"If it's meant to be, you will get a nice grandson. If not, then you will have to find someone else for him."

"Haha, you have truly grown wiser, my friend. Why not make me an uncle now?" Odin laughingly asked.

Hector thought about Diana, how much he loved her, how much she made him happy in mind and body. But he knew that she was healing from the scars just like him.

"Diana is not ready yet, and neither am I. I mean, I finally found a lover, so I'm going to enjoy this time for as long as I can. I have no wish to clean diapers anytime soon. We're immortal anyway. What about you? Frigga is still good-looking, so why not pop some gods and goddesses out?" Hector teased him back.

Odin embarrassingly laughed. "Bwahaha... My time is long gone, Hector. I'm too old to be doing such activities."

(●__●)

"Are you serious? You have a good-looking wife, and you're saying it ain't for you? That's like having the sweetest apples known to men and not eating them. Do you think she does not feel anything? Wrong, all women feel horny. Go home and talk to her, don't decide such things on your own."

"I can't understand if you're being serious or are kidding," Odin muttered.

"Go, my friend. Taste the forbidden fruit again."

Odin was being peer pressured. Anyone could see that. But the old man was too naive and agreed. "Fine, I shall head to Asgard and ask her. Take care, my friend."

*WOOSH*

With that, the Bifrost appeared and took Odin back to his realm. However, the old man didn't wait and went directly toward his wife's chambers. He even found her there, alone and working on some magic book.

"My beautiful queen, I wish to have a word alone." He disturbed her.

Frigga was always trying to be the best wife to Odin. So she put her work aside and focused on the man. "Anything you need, my king."

"Just call me Odin. And I wish to talk in private." He replied.

Frigga waved her hand and closed the doors to her bedchambers. "What is it, My... Odin? Are our sons okay?"

"They are fine. I am here to talk to you about... you. I was wondering about something. Something that we have not done in a while."

"Are you talking about the century festival?"

Odin didn't know how to ask her directly. But Frigga wasn't getting his feelings either. "No, I was asking if you sometimes wish to... to copulate?"

(*ﾟーﾟ*)

Frigga's face turned red in an instant. She never expected her old, godly husband to say something like this again, and she knew whose company was causing such changes.

"I-I... I would love to. That's all I can say." She replied.

Odin stood up in shock. ~Holy Valhalla, how could I have been so naive? I wasn't giving my wife the happiness she deserves! Thank you, Hector. You may be the god of virgins, but your wisdom outshines virginity.~

"Then... how does trying it right now sound like? Or we can wait until night." Odin asked.

*THUD*

Frigga's gown was already on the floor. "I have locked the doors, my dear king."

For the first time in so many centuries, old boy Odin felt excited again... and the reason was not a fight... well, it could be called a fight but just a different kind.

...

UN headquarters.

*ACHOOOO...*

"Who the hell called me a virgin now?" Hector rubbed his nose and signed the last document for the day.

Effective immediately, the world would ban fake marketing related to food items. This meant that all those advertisements saying "Clinically Tested" and "It makes you tall." and such things were going to be banned.

Not only that, high fructose corn syrup was banned for being the biggest reason behind obesity. In short, nobody can do fake marketing and sell their products anymore. It was going to hurt a few industries, but he was ready to compensate with money.

"I wonder what Peter is doing right now. He did become Spiderman, after all. Truly, no matter what you do, you can't keep that spider away from Peter in any universe. But, wait, what happened to the whole Dormammu thing?"

*Knock Knock*

"Come in!"

Logan walked in with a smug look on his face. Hector quickly got up and gave the man a hug. "How is my old bodyguard doing?"

"Pretty good, Prez. You're doing great too, it seems, now with a wife. Too bad I couldn't be here at your wedding." Logan was genuinely sad because he had promised to be there.

"It's alright. As long as you're happy, that's what matters. So, what's going on with Lady Death? Is she enjoying her time here?"

"We've decided to get married, also one of the reasons why I came here to seek you. You see, Death is truly immortal, while I'm unkillable but not immortal."

*SNAP*

Hector snapped his finger. "Done! I just made you truly immortal. You will never die now unless you wish to die."

(•ˋ _ ˊ•)

Logan was left standing speechless. He thought he'd have to do some convincing for the old man to use his extraordinary powers. But it seemed those powers didn't matter a lot to him.

"Do you snap everyone's wishes?"

"Haha, not at all. You're a special friend, so you get express delivery. Now go and have fun with Death, bang her brains out. Invite me when you're getting married, however." Hector cheered shamelessly.

Logan chuckled, having noticed a new change in Hector. There was more genuine cheerfulness now. ~It seems it wasn't just me who found a reason to exist.~

"I'll head back then, Prez. Call me if you ever need me."

"Actually... I do need you. What do you think about going to Mars for a honeymoon? Since you were the first man to walk on the moon, I was thinking you should be the first one to be on Mars too. The UN will be sending its own new rocket."

Logan didn't even wait to think. "Sure, Prez. I'll do it."

"Great! I will set things up. I'm gonna up the game so high no nation will be able to compete with the UN. Bwahahaha..."

If anyone else had been in the room, they would have thought Hector was evil with his strange laughter.

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