Man Child

As we walk into Thor's hospital room I notice that he is handcuffed to the bed. I turn to Darcy and Jane giving them a questioning look.

Jane is the one who replies "He was a bit hysterical so they put him on some… suppressants and cuffed him to the bed. For his own safety."

I smile as I step close to his bed and softly slap his face until I see his eyes begin to flutter open. Once he understands the situation he begins to struggle and stares at me with a hard gaze.

"Who are you?" He asks as he pulls the cuffs scaring the girls.

Pride reverberates my voice through the room "Shut up. Lay still." Like a puppet, he obeys my orders staring at me with wide eyes.

"I thought you said you knew him?" Jane says with a bit of panic.

I turn smiling at her "I know his family to be more precise. If you guys would like to keep a secret till your death then close the door and curtains."

Jane looks at Darcy who just shrugs and shuts the door. "Why are you including me in this?" Jane exclaims at Darcy.

Darcy shrugs "If you want to leave you can. But are you going to let hobbled old me walk across the room to close the curtains?"

Jane gives a huff "That's your fault, you took him into a closet!"

Darcy leans against the wall for support as she hollers back "You aided and abetted!"

I give a thankful grin to both of them once we are in privacy "Don't be scared now."

As I finish my words horns begin to grow from my head and beautiful jet black wings from my back. Once the horns are fully grown my crown of hellfire blazes to life above my head.

Both Jane and Darcy gasp and I hear Darcy mumble "I fucked the Devil…"

My eyes narrow in confusion as I address her "I'll be honest, you surprised even me… THAT was your first thought?"

Her hands go up in a defensive manner "I mean it was very memorable!" After a second she looks at Jane "I knew a human couldn't be that good."

Jane looks more confused than me "NOT THE TIME DARCY!"

I turn to Jane as it seems she is quite a bit saner "This man is indeed Thor as he says… the 'mythical' one you are thinking of. I am friends with his father Odin. He owes me a wife…"

Jane falls into a seat holder her head "Does that mean God is real?"

I roll my eyes "I wish he wasn't."

Darcy takes a step leaning onto Jane "I don't think you get it, Jane. I FUCKED the devil… and it was awesome!" She turns to me quickly "Wait. Does that mean I can't go to heaven anymore?"

I shake my head "No one goes to heaven. The gates of heaven have been closed for thousands of years. Sometimes his chosen pops up, but only his chosen are taken to heaven. The rest belong to me. If you liked it so much we can do it again you know."

"Lucifer!" Jane says a bit upset.

"Wait. Can we do it here?" Darcy asks a bit too excited.

"Darcy!" Jane seems to be breaking at this point.

I chuckle a bit as I turn back to the Odinson. "Why are you here? You may speak."

He grits his teeth still unable to move his body. "Who are you? How do you know my father?"

My eyes narrow "Your Father has made many contracts with me throughout the years. He would never have been able to conquer the six realms without me. I am the Morningstar."

He looks taken aback "He's only a legend. He vanished hundreds of years before my birth."

I nod "I did indeed vanish… but I am eternal." I look down at his with cold eyes.

From behind me I hear Darcy whisper to Jane "That was kinda hot."

I ignore her as I speak again "Why are you here and why are you mortal?"

I release him from pride so he can feel his own lack of strength."Tch, My father took my strength… where is my hammer, Mjölnir?" The name sounds incredibly familiar but I let it slide since I don't remember after the top of my head.

"What crime did you commit?" I ask a bit curious.

"I lead an attack against Laufey?" He says with grit teeth.

"He is still alive? What an impressive lifespan for an ice giant. So why was that a crime?" I am a bit surprised that there is someone I still remember alive.

"Because it is no longer the six realms. We now have all nine, Three of Laufey's giants broke the treaty and tried to steal the Casket of Eternal Winter. I was merely teaching them that they should fear us." His arrogance rang out in his voice.

I feel the urge to smack the boy "You mean you started a war because of the actions of a few? Who do you think you are? Me? Without an undying army behind you, that's a useless war that will only cause bloodshed. Unless somehow your military might has multiplied by a hundred since I lived you will sustain heavy casualties."

Thor looks angrier and angrier as I speak "How old are you? How could Odin raise such an ignorant child?"

"I AM THE NEXT KING OF ASGUARD! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!" His veins bulge as he strains.

I give him a dull look as if I'm looking at a buffoon performing a mind-numbingly boring play.

His cuffs rattle as he tries to get up to attack me, gnashing his teeth as he strains himself. I shake my head looking at the young idiot.

"No wonder you were banished… fucking fool." I turn around. "There is no reason for me to be here anymore, I don't wish to play with children."

Thor begins to speak up but before he can I speak with Pride "Be quiet until I leave... Or banishment will not be your only punishment."

I walk up to Darcy "My offer still stands. Meet me in New York if you wish to go again. Just call me." With those parting words, I vanish from the room.

---

I appear again in a crator surrounded by a bunch of drunk rednecks trying to pull a hammer out of the ground with their trucks.

*SNAP*

The metal cable snapped as it failed to pull the hammer. I ignore them all as I step towards the hammer and begin to inspect it. I can't put my finger on why it appears so familiar. As I touch it I feel the power of an Asgardian warrior and Thunder inside of it.

This feels foreign like it wasn't there the last time I had seen it. As I inspect it black vans begin pulling up and the rednecks all begin to run like bats outta hell.

Once all of the rednecks are gone the doors to one of the vans opens and I smile. The familiar face looks at me as he smoothly removes his dark black sunglasses.

"Lucifer." He greets.

I smile as I stand and turn to face him "Agent Coulson."

He puts his hands in his pockets "Mighty odd coincidence seeing you here. Or at least I hope so."

I tilt my head "We both know it isn't a coincidence. So you came to see Mjölnir as well?"

He points at the hammer "That's Mjölnir? Looks smaller than I imagined." He walks up and stands next to me. He reaches down and tries to pick it up. Nothing happens.

He stands back up not trying again "It's stuck."

I laugh a bit "No it's enchanted." I reach down and pick it up but my smile fades as I realize I can't use the powers imbued in the hammer.

"If it's enchanted why can you pick it up?" He says leaning back looking at me as more and more black vans show up.

"Because I'm stronger than the person who put the enchantment on it." I study the hammer for a second before I grunt "If I can't use it it's useless to me."

I toss it back on the ground causing a small tremor in the earth. "Fuck this, I'm going home…"

As I pull out my wings to leave I remember something, I turn to Coulson again "Be sure to tell your director that aliens have infiltrated your organization. And remember to call out to me on your death bed. I'll be sure to accept you as a knight."

"Wait, what do you mean alie-" I cut him off as I vanish from the desert and appear back in my bedroom.